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RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 10:58:22 AM

Posts: 195
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thanks for gettinh your last word in there!!
i never said those opinions shouldnt be stated i just said i was shocked to see so many more negative comments than positive go for it comments or even advice on how to make it a better experience since those ohhh so many horrible open doors can never be shut again

but come this generic advice about open doors that cant be shut again or somethimes things go wrong out sometimes they don't can be applied to any life situtation. so dont try and act all analytical when you should have realized a long time ago not everything works out as you want and sometimes it does, and no matter other peoples experince yours most likely will differ

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 6/23/2008 11:12:33 AM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 11:01:44 AM

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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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You're very welcome hun.

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(in reply to backseatbebe)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 11:09:44 AM

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RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 12:18:55 PM

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

thanks for gettinh your last word in there!!
i never said those opinions shouldnt be stated i just said i was shocked to see so many more negative comments than positive go for it comments or even advice on how to make it a better experience since those ohhh so many horrible open doors can never be shut again

but come this generic advice about open doors that cant be shut again or somethimes things go wrong out sometimes they don't can be applied to any life situtation. so dont try and act all analytical when you should have realized a long time ago not everything works out as you want and sometimes it does, and no matter other peoples experince yours most likely will differ

Unlike you I HAVE experience with this sort of stuff, and like peanuts can be tasty but some people die if they eat them..

The OP made a number of statements that were clearly red flags for a clueless dominant who is hellbent on doing something he doesn't seem to have the skills for.

I have done all sorts of multi-party sex stuff despite not being a swinger, full on orgies with a hundred people, I even once went to something that was supposed to be a low key sex thing and it was a black on white gangbang and I brought one of the only women, I said "fuck it" since she seemed interested and we stayed. One of my best friends is a guy I met years ago who wife wanted someone to dominate her and he was interviewing people.

So been there, done that. If she had come looking for advice on how to make what sounded like a "good" gangbang better we would have given that but it is a train wreck waiting to happen. And yes, one can't always "fix" stuff after the fact, now if you want to support lemmings jumping off cliffs, be my guest, just don't think the rest of us are going to go along.

(in reply to backseatbebe)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 12:33:21 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline

I have a couple question s,
            Is this a closed gang bang meaning your in a room and one guy enters one at a time as your master is in a chair watching? or is this like a table out in a common room with all the guys in wait and can view the action? big difference between the two if it's closed and they are waiting behind a closed door then it's nice to provide a fluffer(another slave or submissive to work them a little like on porn sets ) of sorts to keep them on edge . If all hanging out during the act you should have no issues with arousal .(some guys talk the talk but lose thier courage with a crowd .)
      As for your d/p find non homophobic partners cause the only thing dividing them from rubbing is a very thin membrane .Perfer good buddies that have done it before and save D/p for last it exhausts you and makes you sore game over then .lube and more lube just don't slide off the table lol. If on a bed rubber sheets or an opened garbage bag secured to protect the mattress (don't forget to provide a trash can near by for condoms).
       After the gang bang are they just running off or do they expect you to socialize ?if so have some food ready you'll want a shower but they'll want pizza .
         Be in the moment and just enjoy yourself if kissing is allowed dose up on extra vitamin C to help ward off if they might have a virus .if oral is going to be done a girls best friend listerine it helps keep the saliva flowing and hides that condom taste .

(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 12:56:38 PM

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

ok sweetie, I try to make a point of not being the harbinger of bad news about BDSM ... I am giving you a view of my experience in this situation feel free to toss it aside as a one off .. I really hope that it is.

When I was 20 I had been with my Dom for 2 years. He and I shared a fantasy of whoring me out to others, of gang bangs, of me on a buffet .. all kinds of hot little ideas around that subject. He arranged one at his house, people we both knew .. he managed it safely, and a great evening was had by all ... the next day however I had monumental drop and felt like the worst kind of disgusting whore (not in the nice way, in the damaged way). He was totally unable to deal with the fallout because a) it was something I had asked him for and b) the night before had been enjoying it so much. - he handled it badly, this should have been a red flag but i failed to notice it ... fast forward a few months ... again he arranges for me to be used by multiple others, this time different scenario - I would be bound and blindfolded. Evening goes ahead and it takes me much further than I ever wanted to go, and he was distant and unsupportive of me during the evening, sometimes I was calling for him, or begging for him, and I had no response whatsoever and no ability to manage the situation myself.

Days later I found out this was because at times he had not been there at all, he left me unattended numerous times during the evening and was steadily getting drunker and drunker as the night went on. Not only was he not keeping a managerial eye on events but he was not even checking the men involved were using protection, many of whom were not. The way the scene had been set up only he would be able to put a stop to things, given what he was actually doing when he should have been watching out for me, I am lucky all I got was friction burns and emotional trauma. He later threw back at me that I had clearly gotten over the first time so easily, it hadn't really been that bad, and that he had done it because I wanted it "more extreme". The fall out from that night was serious - both directly and indirectly... and as a result my replacement fantasy is of never being touched, less used, by a man other than my Owner for as long as I am property.

I do not want to be a terror monger, I am sure there are many thousands more positive experiences than there are negative like mine. I am certain that of 100 people you asked, 90 would come back positive. You do need to be aware that there can be nasty fall out and be preparing for it. If this is a hot fantasy for you then great, but is that hot fantasy potentially worth destroying your relationship for. DV and I both have fantasies that are wildly hot for us, and we both know that the potential damage that negative fall out could do to our relationship is far too high a price to pay for making it real.

I for one hope you have a brilliant time, and have to be peeled off the ceiling after a long night of bed breaking fun. Only you can decide if you are ready for it.

Best of luck hun, I really mean that.

_____________________________

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veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 1:22:35 PM

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/13/2008
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Well softness, as a Dom...
I would say that is totally unacceptable!

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RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 1:39:36 PM

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From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteel007

Well softness, as a Dom...
I would say that is totally unacceptable!

really? ... damn ... I thought that was how these things generally went?

sorry .. couldn't resist - I'm English, sarcasm is what we do.. am glad you think it was unacceptable .. most decent human beings would.

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to MasterSteel007)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 1:43:36 PM

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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The fantasy didn't destroy anything, someone acting irresponsibly, immaturely and completely idiotically did.

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(in reply to softness)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 1:43:50 PM

Posts: 237
Joined: 1/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
The OP made a number of statements that were clearly red flags for a clueless dominant who is hellbent on doing something he doesn't seem to have the skills for.

Out of curiosity, what statements do you see as red flags?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 2:13:26 PM

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Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The fantasy didn't destroy anything, someone acting irresponsibly, immaturely and completely idiotically did.

perhaps it would be better to say ... that in realising the fantasy... the reality ruined the illusion

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 2:20:51 PM

Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
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to simplymicheal
...since you are sooo good at judging people you don't know over the internet , everyone should value your opinion because like you said been there done that. funny how you talk about your wise experince but quickly judge people you dont know. i think a new experince for you might be not jumping to conclusions since this is the internet and what she said might have come across wrong because personally what she said doesn't raise red flags for me. ohh the irony in how you presented yourself as hellbent and mindless but yet say thats a red flag.

and to softness,
im very sorry to hear about your experience, he abused your trust in him
but that is where i find paradox in this thread
is it the gangbang that scares people or the people that particpate in the gangbang?
cause it all comes down to; can the dom/me be able to control the situtattion, is the sub ready for that kind of mental stretch, do you trust or even know the people joining in?, etc etc
you see what im saying.... that these kind of preventitive measures must be taken with any new "extreme" taboo

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 6/23/2008 2:24:08 PM >

(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 2:26:25 PM

Posts: 16926
Status: offline

quote:

you see what im saying.... that these kind of preventitive measures must be taken with any new "extreme" taboo

?

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RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 2:37:10 PM

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
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oh, i remember you now, you were the one who argued in that other thread because there was only one way to go about looking at a certain situation..."your way". anyhoo, i wouldn't call gangbangs taboo...do you know the amount of vanilla porn that deals with this subject? it's almost yawn inducing.

OP, like i said earlier, it might be helpful to communicate and ask lots of questions of your Dom before you do this so you know what he wants and figure out what you want and what you can handle before doing it or not. it might be hard to know without actually doing it, but i think you are smart to ask others what their experiences and opinions are.

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(in reply to backseatbebe)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 2:48:12 PM

Posts: 11
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

Keep in mind that after you follow through w/ this your relationship with Master will NEVER be the same.

(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 3:46:11 PM

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

oh, i remember you now, you were the one who argued in that other thread because there was only one way to go about looking at a certain situation..."your way". anyhoo, i wouldn't call gangbangs taboo...do you know the amount of vanilla porn that deals with this subject? it's almost yawn inducing.

*lol* Christine, what's up with the new avatar, btw? I miss your pretty smile.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to christine1)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 3:57:47 PM

Posts: 79
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

oh, i remember you now, you were the one who argued in that other thread because there was only one way to go about looking at a certain situation..."your way". anyhoo, i wouldn't call gangbangs taboo...do you know the amount of vanilla porn that deals with this subject? it's almost yawn inducing.

OP, like i said earlier, it might be helpful to communicate and ask lots of questions of your Dom before you do this so you know what he wants and figure out what you want and what you can handle before doing it or not. it might be hard to know without actually doing it, but i think you are smart to ask others what their experiences and opinions are.

actually it is rather taboo...it may be in porn, but for the majority of vanilla couples, the thought may be thrilling but they would never actually go through with half of the things that cross their minds. i know it's hard to imagine but many people don't graduate out of the missionary position, and the sound level never gets louder than the occasional moan...*shudder*

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RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 4:15:41 PM

hisdarlinsweetie

Posts: 55
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline

Thank you everyone for posting responses. I especially appreciate the responses from those who gave their accounts of experiences. I know that I haven't given enough information to allow you make informed inferences about my Sir's and my relationship.
I liken the fear I have to the fear I had to the first time my Sir whipped me. I had fantasized about it, but was scared that it would hurt too much or I wouldn't be able to handle it. He didn't whip me the first time we were together, but gradually worked up to it; and gradually worked up to using more force. I wasn't scared that he was going to harm me, because I trust him completely. I was scared about my reaction. The first time he whipped me, he didn't tell me in a few weeks in advance that he was planning to do it. He didn't set a date that I could obssess about. We talked about it in a general sense of limits and acts we were interested in, and I knew that it was something that we would probably engage in at some time. So, I hadn't had weeks of knowing the event was coming up to roll around in my over-analytical head. Of course, it would have been irresponsible and possibly damaging for him to arrange something like this without informing and consulting me.
Again, thank you for your responses.

(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 4:32:58 PM

Posts: 79
Joined: 1/10/2008
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i really hope everything goes swimmingly for you...i've never been in a gangbang, nor do i think it would be something i personally would enjoy, but i totally understand what you mean by fear. for me, that sort of fear is wonderful...it's not fear of actually being hurt, because the trust is too strong, but it's the fear of how it is going to be, how my reaction is going to be....

i hope things go well, and be safe

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(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)

RE: gangbangs - 6/23/2008 4:35:45 PM

TheEvilBstardsMo

Posts: 41
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

I hope that all goes well for you and that you enjoy the experience. Will you let us know how things work out?

(in reply to hisdarlinsweetie)

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