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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 6:51:16 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

I would agree that cutting off large body parts is indicative of mental illness


Suggestive, if not necessarily indicative.

But his assertion was not that it was indicative, but rather that it was diagnostic in itself.

quote:

if anything, there is a considerable phobia in most cultures towards amputation


Yes. Most cultures, indeed. Except for the removal or mutilation of genitals. That is not so extensively rejected. Castrating male singers before puberty, for instance. Western practices of assigning the most surgically practical binary gender to intersex gendered children. Jewish practices of male genital mutilation. Ethiopic practices of female genital mutilation. One could probably go on, but I think we can agree that it's not universally a sign- and not a certainty- of mental health problems.

quote:

heterochiral symmetry is a significant factor in sexual selection: people with more symmetrical features are commonly judged to be better looking, etc.


Correct. And someone looking like your sister or mother will be judged to look even better.

Does that mean we embrace the implications of that detail?

quote:

Second, there is just no evidence of any culture valuing amputation for any reason other than as a punishment, if anybody has ever heard of any culture anywhere, engaging in amputation for cosmetic or spiritual reasons, I'd be happy to hear about it


Apart from castrate singers, I am not aware of any extensive practice to that effect, no.

If you include lesser things, or involuntary sacrifice in religious ceremonies, the examples are more available.

quote:

In short, it is not neccessarily axiomatic that it is mental illness, it is, perhaps, no more crazy than sitting on top of a pole for Twenty years or growing your fingnails till they're 10 feet long, but it is unusual enough to arouse suspicion.


Agreed.

I have had extreme offers that I have declined due to not being satisfied that the person was of sound mind according to my personal standards for such (quite apart from the potential legal risks, which are manageable up here if you are careful about which lines you cross; there is legal precedent that sets the exact boundaries for where erotic body modification becomes grievous bodily harm).

But I have also talked to people who have engaged in it whose soundness of mind I did not doubt.

Granted, I'm not a professional, but I do have more than my fair share of experience with various kinds of mental illness, ranging from the subclinical to people who belong in the local criminal psychopathology unit. And I have a fair bit of experience with the act of excising social conditioning and values, as well as transposing my thought patterns into other value frameworks than my own. Hell, that's what I do half the time when I argue on these boards, since my own framework is too idiosyncratic to be a useful contribution most of the time.

In the end, I vote with my feet: stay or go.

quote:

I corrected this statement a few posts later.


Pardon, then. I thought it was someone else's statement.

quote:

Many suicides, particularly females, tend to even clean up after themselves so to speak, i.e., they choose less messy methods, they seldom shoot themselves for example, they may lay out a shroud, etc. - this is anything but clean, in fact it seems calculated to put everyone to as much bother as possible if anything, and thus, much easier to interpret as a cry for help or attention.


In this day and age, women are catching up with men with regard to violence and success rates.

That said, if one must, my preferred method would be an overdose of barbiturates with a bit of heroin. At least that way, the pathologist will be able to reassure the family of the deceased that there was neither pain nor fear at the end, since the heroin will block out both until the barbiturates have caused all brain activity to cease. Death by asphyxia or somesuch will follow, but the person will be in a medically induced coma by then.

quote:

Again, assuming it is an uncompensated death wish for the sake of argument, it's a choice, meaning, a personal choice, for better or worse, that is the modern standard, and talking someone into it or urging them on is not exactly going to be perceived as noble or spiritual - get used to it.


Actually, where life and death are concerned, the last thing on my mind is what others think.

I mean, seriously, if you're planning on creating a life, ending your life, ending the life of another, or otherwise taking an active hand in the business of life and death, and it is of concern to you whether it is socially acceptable, then in my opinion you don't have any business taking an active hand in it. Kind of like with self-defense: if it would change anything for it to be illegal, then clearly you aren't sure enough in your decision to act on it. These are not trivial matters!

One who would defer a life and death decision to consensus, and then act on it¹, should be a slave, IMO.

That's personal opinion, though, not within the paradigm of the debate.

Health,
al-Aswad.

¹ Is this not how soldiers have rationalized genocide over the years?


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 7:21:45 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

al-aswad, will you just marry me already?


I'm afraid your mullah and my companion would be duking it out over who gets to stop the wedding.

Quite apart from that, different circumstances, smaller gap of faith... who knows?

Entirely off-topic: I'd be interested in learning more about the teachings, if you don't mind explaining things to a heretic. I'll pick up Classic Arabic eventually, and will be able to read the Qu'ran at that point, but Pashto, Thai and Somali are presently higher on my list (by virtue of having access to native speakers that I can practice with).

quote:

i am rereading the wheel of time at the moment for the third or fourth time and thought it was rather serendipitous to see that you posted this just now...it is always wonderful to see others who have taken these values to heart as well.


I am waiting for his successor to finish A Memory of Light before I reread it all a seventh time.

And, yes, Jim has been both influential and inspirational. Some of his values may not align perfectly with mine, but he chose to stand for what he believed in, and that is a meta-value that in itself commands my respect. His summary of the experiences that were accumulated during his two tours in Vietnam vividly conveyed just how much of a miracle it is that he not only retained his humanity, but in fact proceeded to shine a light for so many people.

In that, it seems to me that Jim was no less of a paradox than Krishnamurti was.

And no less of a prophet, depending on how you define that word.

quote:

Til shade is gone, til water is gone. Into the Shadow with teeth bared, screaming defiance with the last breath, to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the Last Day. The Light shine on you, the Creator shelter you in his hand, and the last embrace of the mother welcome you home, James Oliver Rigney, Jr.
— "A great man has passed from this world today"


Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 7:29:46 AM   
Aswad


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

Considering your approval of cannabilism I would have thought that calling you Hannibal would be the highest of compliments.


You clearly have not been reading my posts, or perhaps simply not grasping what I have been saying. What I have said is that both the desire and the act can occur in rational people of sound mind but with values that differ from those prevalent in the west. And I have said that it is none of our business if anyone does so. Comments on my own preferences are irrelevant to the arguments presented.

Regardless, I neither crave, nor value, your insincere compliment.

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

"If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn't seem to mind.
From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


(in reply to rulemylife)
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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 11:56:15 AM   
hisannabelle


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
Entirely off-topic: I'd be interested in learning more about the teachings, if you don't mind explaining things to a heretic. I'll pick up Classic Arabic eventually, and will be able to read the Qu'ran at that point, but Pashto, Thai and Somali are presently higher on my list (by virtue of having access to native speakers that I can practice with).

I am waiting for his successor to finish A Memory of Light before I reread it all a seventh time.


of course i wouldn't mind. message me anytime you like :) i've got to do sanskrit, tibetan, chinese, french, and german for school myself (i'm currently just focusing on sanskrit and tibetan at the moment, as they're the most difficult), so i understand the list problem, LOL. i have recently begun studying qur'anic arabic with a friend of mine who lives in london - she studied in egypt and also teaches privately in london. but it's going very slow! which is okay with me. :) but yes, i'd be glad to help out in any way i can. i'm pming you on the other side. :)


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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 12:25:16 PM   
Amaros


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

In textual accounts of monks that appeared in collections
of hagiographies under the rubric of self-immolation, we find a
range of acts such as allowing insects to feed on one’s blood, slicing
flesh from the body, and burning the fingers or arms. Not all of
these necessarily resulted in death.
- from "Fire and the Sword" by Benn, in The Buddhist Dead, edited by Cuevas and Stone. This article is primarily concerned with the politics of self-immolation in Buddhist China, but as the quote shows, also mentions instances of amputation, burning of fingers or limbs, and other forms self-harm that did not result in death.

on page six of "Self-Immolation in Buddhist China" by Jan Yun-Hua, she mentions that after the 10th century, some changes in textual emphasis led to a growing tendency to replace immolation of the entire body with the sacrifice of an arm, a few fingers, or just one finger. This article is located in History of Religions vol. 4 no. 2 (Winter 1965) pp. 243-268

if you would like more sources regarding suicide in buddhist practice or the tantric practice of visualizing cannibalism (which may or may not have been practiced in actuality in the past - this is debated among scholars - but is a really widespread practice among tibetan buddhists today - i am actually initiated into it), i'd be happy to help. if you or anyone would like to discuss more about buddhist death and dying (or buddhism in general) i'm always available by message on the other side.

respectfully,
a'ishah.
Who knew Buddhists were so kinky? Considering that Buddhism centers around self denial, it makes certian amount of logic - they realy aren't worried about earning a living or being sexually atrractive - still, those can pretty much be considered the primary motivations of all but a handful of humans on the planet, for fairly obvious evolutionary reasons.

On a more abstract level, I still would not wish this to be mistaken for the argument that if everybody is doing it, it must be sane and vice versa - one of the signal defining characteristics of humans is our behavioral diversity, our success in rising to the top of the food chain is due largely to three things.

In no particular order: the ability to formulate higher level abstractions, including models of cause and effect, and communicate them symbolically - I lump these together, because it isn't exactly clear where one ends and the other begins - language is a process of abstract logic and reasoning, and it's quite likely that they arose more or less in tandem, and use much the same process - language is the external representation of internal abstract symbolic/cognitive processes, and language itself in turn affects cognition - a Christian doesn't see the world the way a Buddhist does, and neither of them see the world the same way a physicist does, etc. - they have different constructs of reality, internal models that they use to make predicitions and explain cause and effect.

There are essentially four different realities we deal with: objective reality, the current state of all energy in the universe at any given moment, which is beyond the cognitive capacity of humans to percieve, subjective reality, how we model the world in our own minds based on our perceptions of energy pehenomona in action, subjective consensus reality, which is a model of things we agree on, "the sky is blue", and objective consensus reality, which is often a formal exercise in logic, science, law, etc., which is things we agree on but are required to demonstrate as stable in terms of cause and effect: the sky is blue due to refraction of photons in the atmosphere, which cases light to be percieved by the human eye on a wavelength that results in the perception of a color that we call "Blue".

Abstract logic and language is a unique attribute of humans - other animals communicate, some in quite sophisticated ways, but we have no evidence any of them are capable of forming higher level abstractions, catagories for example - humans form catagories incessently, "mentally ill" is catagory, kinky is another one - if these two becoem associated linguistically, it forms a model of cause and effect that becomes a matter of consensus reality.

The second attribute is very simply, our high degree of social co-operation: facilitated by abstract conceptualization, we are more social than any other mammal and most species in general, outside a few species of insects - this gives us a great deal of flexibility in terms of adaptive behaviors, division of labor, defensive responses, economics, etc.

The third thing is the behavioral diversity I mentioned, and this is almost a contradiciton of the second thing in that behavioral diversity often goes against the grain of a given cultures abstract paradigm of reality, their subjective consensus reality - in this case, cannibalism, outside of abstract ritualization, is generally considered a form of either desperation or madness.

On the other hand we do a lot of mad things - is it sane to jump out of an airplane, or fly to the moon? Sometime about 75kya, a mutation occured in the human genome, the DRD7R4 allele mutated into soemthing like 7 different versions - this occured at roughly the same time as teh Toba supereruption and the theoretical MtDNA "bottlneck".

Shortly after, these mutations spread rapidly among the population through both selection and drift, and  large and significant changes in human culture began to appear - the lithic revolution and an overall revolution in culture and artifact: art, probobly music, personal adorment, etc., and it has gradually accelerated until we come to post modern technological society.

This allele has been associated with behavioral disorders, ADHD in particular, and thrill seeking in general, and the theory is that this represents an increase in the population of people who are "easily bored", and thus prone to breaking out of abstract cultural restrictions and engage in innovative behaviors, and it is innovation that is the definitive driver of what we term "modern" behavior, which of course has resulted in modern techno-information culture.

Again, this tends to often run counter to what is often defined by a dominant culture as acceptable behavior. Their  primary motives usually revolve around preserving status quo, and innovation is often threatening if it occurs in ways they cannot control. Nobody thought Microsoft was any threat to IBM in 1980, Bill Gates was nerd adapting a half assed operating system somebody wrote for their masters thesis in his garage. Ten years later, Gates had replaced IBM, and was screaming bloody murder about open source programs, i.e., nerds in their basements writing code that could conciveably topple his hegemony. (IBM, to their credit, played by the rules and stuck to basic capitalist competitive principles).

One example, but you can see the same basic pattern at work in every human culture or institution, religious, political, economic, social - once an idea has gained credence and people have staked their fortunes on it, they are required to defend it against the next idea and how they do that in turn reflects back on the original idea - i.e., it's how an ideal like Christianity: "love thy neighbor" can become "kill everybody who isn't a Christian".

We have tried, in our current institutions, the constitution, capitalism and the Anglo Saxon legal system to create a stable system of cultural values without allowing it to sclerotify into status quo feudalism - to keep it in flux, by basing it on competitive self interest - i.e. the only way to keep self interest in check is to counter it with something, and the best thing to counter self interest is more self interest - this creates a situation where people are forced to negotiate and compromise in order to get what they want - in this system, no single persons inherent self interest is any more important than anybody elses, theoretically.

This is kind of a long way of getting to the point: diversity is a thing worth preserving - whether I understand another persons behavior or not is irrelevant, it represents change, innovation, motion - all that concerns me is it's ethical implications - and ethics is simply a cost benefit analysis: who is bearing the cost of this behavior, and who is getting the benefit, or, if it isn't either or, how are the costs and benefits distributed.

In terms of the practice of spiritual cannibalism, it really doesn't affect me personally in any way I can discern - if it were to catch on and spread out in such a way that it might affect my childrens decisios, then it becomes my business, and if it happens that the boyfreind is good at talkign people into this sort of thing against their better self interest, then that too gives me some cause for concern - perhaps no worse than convincing and entire country to go to war for the sake of corporate profit, but that concerns me as well, and the one does not justify the other.

This is essentially the argument used in religious politics to oppose things like sex education and BDSM perhaps - but I don't  see these things as any sort of threat to me personally, it's largely an abstract threat to religion, representing an opposition consensus concerning sexual behavior and it's "purpose", and reflects directly back to a particular socio-political paradigm with associated economic benefits attached for certain people, and neither do I really think cannibalism will catch on, although stranger things have happened, it bears watching.

We are a society obsessed with conspicuous consumption, a symptom of Narcissism, the consumption itself is an attempt to overcome feelings of social alienation and inadequacy - we really are very social animals on a biological level, and cannibalism is a way to achive intimacy on a symbolic level: you are what you eat, and by consuming the host in the Cathlic transubstration ritual for example, you are literally internalizing the vehicle of your salvation.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 7/4/2008 12:55:45 PM >

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 1:07:12 PM   
came4U


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wow Amaros, nicely put. I enjoyed every phrase.

A tad too deep for a site like this, but nice. 

*Sincere emotional cannibalism at its best. 

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 1:16:07 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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This entire thread =
 
How hard is it to figure out that, if you are cutting off body parts so someone else can eat them (or any other reason besides emergency lifesaving procedures) and think it's a perfectly acceptable life choice, You. Are. Broken.
 
You are not spiritual or deep.  You're bugfuck nuts.  Do not pass go.  Go directly to the psych ward.  Better yet, remove yourself from the gene pool before you spawn.
 
Until then, here's your sign.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 1:17:57 PM   
Amaros


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Eat me. Hahhahhahhaa!

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 6:36:14 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

Considering your approval of cannabilism I would have thought that calling you Hannibal would be the highest of compliments.


You clearly have not been reading my posts, or perhaps simply not grasping what I have been saying. What I have said is that both the desire and the act can occur in rational people of sound mind but with values that differ from those prevalent in the west. And I have said that it is none of our business if anyone does so. Comments on my own preferences are irrelevant to the arguments presented.

Regardless, I neither crave, nor value, your insincere compliment.

Health,
al-Aswad.



But it IS the business of societies that prohibit these acts. And illegal is illegal in context.

There is no way to rationalize yourself out of that simple fact.

And the courts tend to be HARDER on people who do this rationally and coldly- since they know they did so quite willfully-and with malice of forethought. It shows a sociopathic disregard of the rule of law-and that is intolerable.

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I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 6:38:46 PM   
Amaros


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There is that.

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 6:45:13 PM   
Leatherist


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And to head off his next rationalization.....it can also be argued that beating ass is illegal as assault in many places.
 
 With the major difference that you can heal from that-and much less likely to be prosecuted. Whereas-missing body parts are sort of hard to shrug off as "consensual" in front of a prosecutor.

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 7:32:02 PM   
variation30


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerinBlack

"the topic that should be discussed is what value being healthy really has."

Um. That's kinda of a nonsense question. Whatever your personally definition, health includes things that are, by their very nature, needed or beneficial. Lets look at plants for an example. A healthy plant is in an optimal environment, H20, 02, good soil, everything it needs. If the plant does not get enough of these healthy things, it withers and dies. What is the benefit of healthy things to the plant? Seems obvious unless you don't value being alive, uninjured, and growing.


*yawn*

I didn't ask for a definition of healthy. we all realize what is physically healthy and what it not. the question was this: does health have a value that is not, like all other things, arbitrary to the individual's opinion?



quote:

"as we all should know, all values are subjective to the individual."

That's actually not true. You can't talk your way out of obeying gravity, even if it is an abstract concept.


um...what?

I think you may need to reread the statement, or perhaps I should reword it for you.

as well all know, each individual values (i.e. views the worth of) entites in this universe subjectively.

quote:

Repeated studies have shown that people are willing to take such risks as long as the consequences for their actions are abstract and over a period of time. Never underestimate the power of denial. Now that being said, what is the potential reward of cutting off a body part that makes if more valuable than health?


repeated studies of whom, I wonder? if you think inferential statistics have any epistemological worth...then you need to read up on praxeology.

but answering your question: I don't know what potential reward cutting off something could have that makes it more valuable than your health, as I don't get off on that. I can speak on having a habit that I find enjoyable that unquestionably ramps up my odds cancer or hearth disease, though. it's not a potential reward, either. it's an immediate reward whose effect is mostly psychological and completely trumps the cost of my health.

quote:

"the issue at hand is whether or not we think individuals can do with their mind and body what they will. "

No its not. People can always do what they want (including the people who will act against them)


I didn't ask whether people *can* do what they want. I asked whether or not they *should be allowed* to do whatever they want.

and this applies to their own bodies, a point you overlooked.

quote:

"to this question you either answer yes or no. there are no other answers. "

I wish I could break down the great philosophical questions of the ages down into "yes, and no". But I don't think things are that simple. (Should a person who accidentally consumes a drug be allowed to kill themselves if they decide in the moment to do so?)


I like how your example warrants a 'yes or no'.

and the answer is yes.

quote:

"if yes, then you(plural) should have no problem letting another individual engage in unhealthy (and perhaps unwise) decisions as it is their body and their life and they should be free to do with them what they desire. "

If you feel this way, please please never have kids.


when my kid are living off of my money and on my property, certain agreements will be made. but this requires an understanding of property rights that you don't have just yet.


quote:

"if you answer no, then that logic will lead to some rather interesting ends - because if you do not own your mind and body, who does? "

You seem be be implying that you are an island with no responsibility or effect on or by others. I think we owe each other a debt of mutual enrichment. That is, that we should strive to be as positive and healing an influence on others as we can, without trying to control them or limit their freedom. No one has good judgement all the time, thats important to look at too.


I just shuddered and now I'm having chest pains. I haven't heard the 'no man is an island' phrase since an ol' poly sci class. why, pray tell, enrichment do you owe me an why do you owe it to me?

the only way to go about your business without controlling another or limiting their freedomis by acknowledging their right to do with their body and property as they see fit (and engage in trade out of cooperation).


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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 7:34:34 PM   
variation30


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheBanshee

Suicide - wrong
It just is.  Question my tolerance of people who think its just so incredibly deep and meaningful and how I just don't understand the depth of their submission.  They're flakes and they need help.  There's a point where things get unhealthy - there may be a grey area for a while but this is NOT grey.  


I know a lot of romans who might disagree with you.


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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:06:00 PM   
pettingdragons


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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:



Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I may love you (joke). Well said.

Um, a man-crush, um, yea....okay....cut your hair dude.  ;0


Has enouigh time gone by for me to snort out a laugh?


no .....

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:11:14 PM   
Zaraseeks


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***piss on a brick*** YOU ARE ALL CRAZY BY SOMEONES STANDARD!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:11:48 PM   
MasterDragon1963


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I know that this comment on the cannibal aspect is a bit late, but would this in any way conclude that Hannibal Lector would meerly be a extremely advanced food play connoisseur who has not of yet learned that if he began his dark delights on the external extrimeties, he might not have to replace his partners so often.

Master Dragon

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:13:31 PM   
Zaraseeks


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Its vewy vewy twue draw the line where you may

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:19:15 PM   
MasterDragon1963


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Which reminds me, does the kink still qualify if I want to cut parts off one person and feed them to another person, cause the person driving in front of me has forgotten what their gas pedal foot is for, and the one driving behind me could really use something shoved down their throat.

Master Dragon

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RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 8:21:08 PM   
RedMagic1


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Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDragon1963
does the kink still qualify if I want to cut parts off one person and feed them to another person, cause the person driving in front of me has forgotten what their gas pedal foot is for, and the one driving behind me could really use something shoved down their throat.

No, because that is a vanilla urge.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MasterDragon1963)
Profile   Post #: 359
RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive - 7/4/2008 10:14:59 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
are girls that swallow cannibals?

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all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 360
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