quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

In the interum of this thread, it became quite pellucid unto myself that deep
within, an upheaval likened to a volcanic eruption began to manifest itself
in both a physcial and mental bombardment. The views I expressed, and
options I forwarded were quite serious considerations, quite serious.

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Had I wished to slam the discussion, I would have taken the liberty to do so.
This was not my intent nor desire. My response was in addition to the
discussion, as presented, and I wish to change nothing of it.

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Here, one may tend to postulate, and rightly so, that my offering was mere jest.
I am known as I am known, one whom finds seriousness, simply a bit serious.

In other words, you don't want to answer a direct question and own what you posted.  Sometimes life is serious and people have serious discussions about it.  If you don't like it, you can choose to respect their right to have the discussion and move on. 

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I might believe, though not thoroughly convinced, that the resolute disection and
cadence of the subject matter infuriated any direct desire within me to possess
a complex, literal and equipoise definition or definitions aligned with the op's
queries and the subsequent discussion and subject matter which followed.

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Simply said, the need here for exactness most often drives me crazy. Thus,
perhaps a preponderance exists within me akin to, or perhaps of, ADD,
Attention Deficite Disorder. (I lack immediate indepth knowledge, but shall
research said disorder, that I might satisfy my query)

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I feel the need even now to go bang my head against a solid mass.
Where oh where is the laughter?

chia* (the pet)

If you want laughter, you can always try the Humor Forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

In essence then Sea, based on what you've described above, isn't the lower status you're referring to really the result of the agreed upon power exchange between a dominant and a submissive??  If so, I see no discrepancy, only a difference in terminology.

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I suspect, to a large degree we both seek similar things in a relationship with a Dominant in that at the end of the day, we both desire mutual respect and love from a Dominant that will also be our life partner.

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Yes, your use of the term masochism is indeed causing me difficulty in understanding where you're trying to go.  I generally see emotional masochism as harmful to the ego and self-esteem.

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A phoenix is a mythical male bird with a tail of beautiful gold and red plumage (or purple and blue, by some sources [1]). It has a 500 year life-cycle, and near the end the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises. The new phoenix is destined to live, usually, as long as the old one.

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ORIGINAL: undergroundsea

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Yes, your use of the term masochism is indeed causing me difficulty in understanding where you're trying to go.  I generally see emotional masochism as harmful to the ego and self-esteem.

Emotional masochism can be a loaded term. I do not use it with any negative connotation. I see it to simply be the reflection of physical masochism except this type occurs in the mind. Just as people who do not understand BDSM might see physical SM to be unhealthy, it is possible for someone unfamiliar with emotional SM to think it to be unhealthy. Each physical or emotional SM can occur in healthy or unhealthy forms.

I see emotional SM to create emotional discomfort (at least by non-BDSM standards), like physical SM does. Some people enjoy emotional SM for the discomfort it creates and for how the body responds to this discomfort, just as some do for physical SM. There is risk for injury in emotional SM but it can be done without injury or, at least, long-term effects, just as what can be said of corporal play in physical SM. I will add, however, that emotional SM is more complex and less intuitive, which makes it more edgy and more risky for unintended injury.

In summary, I do not think emotional SM is necessarily harmful to the ego and self-esteem.

I use the term emotional masochism because it is what I have picked up from past discussions on b.com. Perhaps mental masochism or psychological masochism offer a less loaded term.

Either mental or psychological masochism, would seem to me to be far less loaded terms to use for what you describe.  I'd certainly feel much more comfortable with them and not have the same "knee jerk" reaction to them than I do to when I read or hear the term emotional masochism.

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I did not know about emotional SM and asked those who engage in it for elaboration. Before I give examples, I would like to make a point in favor of those who engage in this play. I have tremendous regard for the woman whose posts made me aware of emotional SM. She and her master are experienced and intense players. Their play may seem extreme to others. They play with desconstructing the ego (she made references to various eastern philosophy writings about desconstructing the ego and likened it to phoenix emerging from the ashes--see below for a wiki explanation) and she finds bliss in it.

From Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenix_(mythology)

quote:

A phoenix is a mythical male bird with a tail of beautiful gold and red plumage (or purple and blue, by some sources [1]). It has a 500 year life-cycle, and near the end the phoenix builds itself a nest of cinnamon twigs that it then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises. The new phoenix is destined to live, usually, as long as the old one.

At one time, I was a bit offended when I heard what dominants were doing to subs, much like how vanilla people might be upon hearing one partner in a BDSM relationship beats the other partner. I no longer am offended by these examples as long as they occur consensually.

The most common example of emotional SM is humiliation play, especially that that creates any amount of discomfort. I consider some aspects of financial domination to be based on emotional SM. I consider the bitch goddess persona to exist towards emotional SM. Other examples of emotional SM activities given by those who engage in it are:

A sub is told to build a tower of cards in order to earn an orgasm, or just for sake of whim. As he nears completion, the domme knocks down the tower and tells him to begin again. A more edgy example of undoing that to which he gave energy would be to modify or defile art that the sub created.

Playing with a sub's pet peeves can be another example.

Hiding something that the sub needs and have him go through the frustration of finding without telling him it has been hideen is another example. One example of play that was based on creating similar frustration was that a dominant and sub went to the store and the dominant quitely slipped out and went home, leaving the sub to figure out that he had done so, and that she must now arrange to get home. If she did not have cash and had to walk or otherwise make arrangements, that would have added to the emotional discomfort.

These activities could drive one crazy. However, some consensually play in this manner, which is fair enough.

I used to think that I have no interest in emotional SM. Over time I have come to rethink that position and see various activities that are common in BDSM to fall in its realm. In fact, it is this path of reflection that is behind the statement that led to a portion of this discussion: that a desire to assume a lower status is a form of mental masochism (status-based masochism).

Cheers,

Sea

When a sub and a Domme decide they want to go into deconstructing the ego, I'd expect the Domme to have a great deal of knowledge before allowing her to take me there.  I desire to become a better man, or at least one that learns more quickly from his mistakes.   So there are places along those lines I'd readily go with a Domme I felt could help me to improve myself.  In fact, that's something I'd like to have in a relationship with a Domme.  However, some of that doesn't necessarily require going into the kinds of places you're speaking of that might not be healthy for me.

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ORIGINAL: pixelslave
As you noted, playing with a sub's mind is not something that's always predictable and is territory that a Domme should carefully consider before she takes her sub there.

<snip>

I desire to become a better man, or at least one that learns more quickly from his mistakes.

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ORIGINAL: Venatrix
MzLinda, I find it curious that your profile was just started today, you have made only two posts, and both of them have been to attack

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I wish you well on your journey as you discover how your choice of words affect the way others interact with you.

- pixel

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ORIGINAL: Nikolette
Now that deserves etched in stone somewhere, I tell you what.

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ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Hey there pixiedust, knew it would just be a matter of "well I never" and
"where's my corncob" before you whined in.

Your observations; well intended, but WRONG!

If you truly felt my observations were well intended, but wrong, may I ask why you felt the need to reply in the manner you did by making light of my screen name; seemingly personalizing things when I've never done anything of the sort to you?  My reply was specifically in regard to your behavior.  I don't believe I said anything about you as a person.  To my best recollection, I have never ridiculed your choice of screen names, nor would I. 

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I said it, I said it all, and I'll say it again, underlined if need be, and I liked it.

There, owning it up enough for you?

You can unclench those buttcheeks now Johnny come lately, we've all moved on.

chia* (the pet)

I've been troubled by it ever since and sought counsel from knowledgable friends as to how I might have handled it differently; making the effort to learn more about her special needs.  As such, I found it offensive for you to make light of her disability and special needs.

If you do indeed have ADD, then I humbly apoligize here and now for my comment to post in the Health and Safety forum if that's the case.  Otherwise, I strongly urge you to investigate how people's lives are affected by this disease before you decide to make light of it again in your posts.  In doing so, I hope you'll discover upon examining what's in your heart that it's not something to casually make jokes about at their expense.

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ORIGINAL: ThundersCry
chia has just as much right to his opinions and thoughts as you....do

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ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

chia has just as much right to his opinions and thoughts as you....do
 
If it really bothers you...don`t read his posts...
 
Lighten up...dude

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ORIGINAL: thishereboi


It is truly frustrating, isn't it. The search for the one true slave. Especially on the internet where you can't be sure who you are even talking to.

I think the chances of finding the one true slave on here, are about as good as finding the one true mistress.