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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 9:29:42 AM

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Joined: 4/25/2006
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we all have our own preferences...some men find BBW's attractive, and others don't...you certainly can't change anyone's idea of attractive...just find the ones that are attracted to you and vice versa!....as for the "rudeness" in not returning a No Thank You...i understand your frustration, but just move on...all you can do is be yourself, and if you are not what they are looking for and they are not polite about it, so what...i mean it wasn't going to go anywhere anyway, you know. best of luck to you in finding what you are looking for!!

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 9:33:54 AM

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I think the question at hand really is,

"Who cares?"

I dont like blondes. Or really short skinny girls.

Who cares why?

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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 11:47:57 AM

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Too bad that some people judge solely by appearances. Our society's media reminds us everyday that if we don't look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, drive a certain car and eat the right cereal we will never be happy, accepted or satisfied.

Remember the last time you turned on the TV and said something to the effect of "OOH! That looks sooo cool!" and then went out and bought that thing just to try it or because a friend bought it too and it was the cool thing to do?

So very sad that this country went from the basis of military confrontation to build and maintain an economic base to the very extremes of capitialism. It's so ingrained in our society that I fear that we would have a complete societal collapse if the marketing was taken away abruptly. Imagine watching TV, reading a magazine or watching the news without constantly being pitched to buy something!

And of course, the people pitching those things are almost always thin and pretty....unless they are pitching a new weight-loss drug...then you get the before and after. "THAT'S RIGHT! You too can be a beautiful as this person in as little as 6 weeks!" What a total load of manipulative crap!

Constantly musing,

puzzle

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 12:09:49 PM

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In response to the original poster, I used to have (and might still have) a thing in my journal stating that I didn't have any preferences for height, weight etc. and I got the most abusive email from a woman telling me I was a liar and that "all men care about looks, especially you". I've never heard from her before or since.

You just learn that it's impossible to please everyone. If someone stops talking to you because they have an aversion to BBW's, just shrug and open the next email which is probably from someone whose world is rocked by BBW's.

Nobody can please everyone.

(in reply to puzzle)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 1:34:19 PM

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Thread Summarized:

Some guys don't like fat chicks. Deal with it. If you think this is shallow, remind yourself of this the next time you're gushing over Johnny Depp or whoever the celebrity du jour is.

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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 3:19:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: puzzle

Too bad that some people judge solely by appearances. Our society's media reminds us everyday that if we don't look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, drive a certain car and eat the right cereal we will never be happy, accepted or satisfied.

Remember the last time you turned on the TV and said something to the effect of "OOH! That looks sooo cool!" and then went out and bought that thing just to try it or because a friend bought it too and it was the cool thing to do?

So very sad that this country went from the basis of military confrontation to build and maintain an economic base to the very extremes of capitialism. It's so ingrained in our society that I fear that we would have a complete societal collapse if the marketing was taken away abruptly. Imagine watching TV, reading a magazine or watching the news without constantly being pitched to buy something!

And of course, the people pitching those things are almost always thin and pretty....unless they are pitching a new weight-loss drug...then you get the before and after. "THAT'S RIGHT! You too can be a beautiful as this person in as little as 6 weeks!" What a total load of manipulative crap!

Constantly musing,

puzzle

While I dont argue that there is a great deal of beauty on the inside, there has to be physical attraction.

And I'm sure there are many Blondes that I could love and find amazing, I just dont like blondes. Thats my thing. Not necessarily yours, but mine.

And finding a blonde that is amazing, is easier than finding one that I can see past the blonde hair.

People need to stop thinking so Inwardly, and start focusing also on the superficial externals to things.
Me, I'm overweight, I dont expect all women or even many to find me attractive, or desireable. I dont find myself desireable, but my partner does.

Life is too short to settle with just purely inner attraction.

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(in reply to puzzle)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 3:27:58 PM

MissN

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Joined: 4/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah

I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle.

Miriah

I'm beautiful plump Dominant Lady and my subbie pet boys *adore* me for it -amongst other things!

Most people have general (but not exclusive) preferences for certain looks etc, mine is generally for tanned, asian, mixed boys but sometimes there are exceptions!

I have noticed something though! I also hang out in bbw/size-confidence chat forums etc and there is definitely a correlation between men who love large women and being submissive!

Therefore, I'd have to say that being a bbw Dominant has never been a hindrance, only been a positive attraction. I'm picky over pets and never actively search for them, I just get to know people. I am upfront in profiles though about my size and attitudes....

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(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 3:44:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EnglishDomNW
I used to have (and might still have) a thing in my journal stating that I didn't have any preferences for height, weight etc. and I got the most abusive email from a woman telling me I was a liar and that "all men care about looks, especially you". I've never heard from her before or since.

You just learn that it's impossible to please everyone. If someone stops talking to you because they have an aversion to BBW's, just shrug and open the next email which is probably from someone whose world is rocked by BBW's.

The healthy/balanced outlook I read in your posts is one of the reasons I think you rock and am happy to see you at collarme forums.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/29/2006 3:45:12 PM >

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(in reply to EnglishDomNW)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 4/29/2006 4:10:12 PM

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Dear Mariah, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Speaking for myself only, based on personal knowledge as well as fitting the topic, as I am a large “mature” woman; I find that some men shutter to think that a BBW woman who is dominant may indeed be able to throw them onto a mat and wrestle them into a full Nelson and have them tap out in submission just as much as to control them if they misbehave. Size can intimidate in a nice way; as I do hate to ruin a good manicure, dress or such on “wrestling.”

That said; there are wonderful advantages of being big and or a BBW, as one is not blown away in a stiff wind, so submissive/slaves can hug and hang on tight and they are protected.

Another advantage, is that we are able to test the strength of bondage furniture and the devices before we subject our submissive/slaves to it.

In addition, the slave/submissive has wonderful choices--carry us or our toy bags/luggage. Usually, they volunteer to haul the luggage and or toy bags.
When we sit, we take a seat and a half, as to save that seat for our sweet slave/submissive when they do have a chance to sit down, otherwise it is a great place to put our purse, gloves and fan.

When we are approached for raffle tickets, unlike our thinner peers; our rounded curves adds a few tickets to the total sum. Hey, extra chances are great.

But, most of all -- our package is padding the most beautiful treasure of all--our hearts, our spirits, our compassion, the desire to be treated with dignity and our slaves/submissives as well. For me, those who just look at the package and not the contents of a person’s character will miss so much. It is their loss not ours. For those aging as I am, indeed our package may be torn and tattered, banged around and subjected to abuse but, the contents remain.

We can look at someone and know what real human humiliations are like, to be dismissed, to be overlooked, to be hurt, to be lonely, to know how it hurts to attempt to squeeze into chairs that children’s hips touch the sides. We also know how many people make assumptions of why we’re fat. This is one reason I REFUSE to participate in humiliation play/scenes.

As for me, combination of genetics, being paralyzed for a number of months, medications, food and criticized for being to thin and making up for those days of my youth that I was starved and food for comfort, etc.

What I have found as a thin slave in my day, I was treated more like an arm charm. When injured and blew up like the Pop and Fresh “Doughboy/girl” those who left were not my friends. Ones who stayed demonstrated that love and or friendship is unconditional.

I won't hold it against a thin dominant, when they are 'pea green' with envy, when handsome body builders and weight lifters flock to me; they know I don't leave marks and they aren't pawed over like cheap meat.

As I mingle in the community, I am appreciated what I have to offer in experience, knowledge, skills, my personality, sensitivities to others pain and troubles, my compassion, my giving nature (often going broke so another can get medicine, food or help) and most of all -- my hugs.

I control my power. I can give it away to those submissive/slave types, that are about as effective as a screen door on a submarine or, I can take my power and enjoy it. Like me--hide a submissive--sit on him!

Respectfully humoristic moment submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 5/27/2006 7:34:35 AM

soz28

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Joined: 5/27/2006
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Well I for one do not have an issue with BBW. I think it's wrong to think all men are like this and want the stereotypical "barbed Wire" package. On cold Melbourne nights they're much better value than the waify Kate Moss's of this world!

(in reply to acctonthelook)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/1/2006 10:43:01 AM

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For some of us, the size creates power and demands respect. In addition, some men like me crave the sensual curves of a round MISSTRESS.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

In Praise Of Bodacious Babes! - 6/1/2006 1:23:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SkinnySlave
For some of us, the size creates power and demands respect. In addition, some men like me crave the sensual curves of a round MISSTRESS.

Welcome to the boards SkinnySlave. Stick around and you'll see there is no shortage of bodacious babes to order you around and maybe take ownership of your skinny self if you are well behaved, and a gentleman.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 6/1/2006 1:24:45 PM >

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to SkinnySlave)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/1/2006 7:58:02 PM

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Dear Miriah, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I think that so many feel that we are to look like fetish ads. So many 'real' people are 'real' people, in every size, shape, color and unique characteristics.

Preferences are what draws us. How I prefer "yellow gold" over "silver" I'll never know. Sure wasn't talked about as what precious metal I was to have or not. The same is about choosing our mate/partners. However there is a draw per se--perhaps a 'calling.' Why do we pick a certain precious metal over another--why do we pick certain types of people. Just our quirks--thats all.

I agree though, that people who are not happy with another person, does not give permission to be rude and minus some manners. If these canidates were behaving in such a poor way, who would want them in a collar representing you? So, good bye to the rubbish. You can do better--just be patient.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/2/2006 7:17:13 PM

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Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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A few suggestions to alleviate your troubles:
1) Clearly state that you are a BBW in your profile. If someone has a proclivity against size, they generally will not respond to a profile containing it.
2) Provide a realistic, full body picture that reveals who you are as a woman.
3) Refuse to walk away from something because you're not accpeted by 100% of society.

Like it or not, we're not everyone's cup of tea. But, accurately depicting who you are as a powerful, voluptuous woman is likely to attract a sincere gentleman who values her for what she is both inside and out, not just for what she does to fluff his privates.

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/2/2006 7:28:26 PM

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Joined: 2/16/2005
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i think most subs secretly do like Them i myself want a BBW Owner i love them or love that One well back to my corner lol i just love every inch of That ONE

(in reply to MisPandora)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/3/2006 8:53:49 PM

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Joined: 1/6/2006
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please dont go back to the vanilla world mistress, there are subs like myself that desire to serve a bbw mistress above all others.

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/5/2006 7:13:09 AM

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The same reason Dommes don't respond to male subs over 45, it doesn't fit the fantasy.

(in reply to Miriah)

RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/5/2006 8:09:26 AM

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Joined: 5/17/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Miriah

I have met so many great subs with hopes of getting to know them and the min I say I am a BBW poof they stop responding. Can't even send a messaging saying "Thanks but no thanks I'm not interested."

Almost makes a Domme say to hell with it all and just forget about it and go back to the vanilla lifestyle.

Miriah

I guess I would have to agree with many others here who have said that it's a matter of personal preference, and not necessarily discrimination. Some people are just more visual than others -- particularly men. And to some men, a plus-sized woman can be quite alluring.

Also, if a domme does not include a description of herself in her profile, or have a photos of herself posted, it is not really polite to ask about her physicial characteristics. However, there is really no excuse for bad behavior on the part of dommes and subs alike. They should at least reply with a polite "no thank you."

Let's face it, every one of us has or will be rejected on the basis of appearance or age at some point in our lives, but it is not the end of the world. Don't give up hope, though. I have the sincere belief that there is somone out there for everyone.

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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/6/2006 3:21:27 AM

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For my two'pennith worth. I do not look for age, size, sexuality or even sex. I look for someone that I feel submissive to, someone who can make me a better person, someone I can feel attached to. Not everyone has this quality and I can't describe it either.

Pushed on the subject, and for the record, my ideal would be a mature BBW couple (don't want much do I, maybe thats why I can't find them).

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RE: Why don't men like BBW Dommes? - 6/16/2006 2:44:51 AM

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Joined: 5/9/2006
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it is the subs loss, if You ask me, my Owner is a BBW, and i love and trust Her, size is not every thing, but like dincubus, ive allways been attracted to the larger Woman

:-)

(in reply to Miriah)

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