CallaFirestormBW
Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
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~Fast Reply to the ? of skills~
Hmmm... the skills... the skills.... See, I believe that if I accept a servant who has no skills, that's my choice. What I choose to call that person is defined by my preferences (which is as it should be -- the person making the rules should have the right to choose what they call their dynamic). If the person I select has no skills, but matches what I'm looking for in philosophical basis, interests, etc., then I think that it is -my- responsibility to make sure that the person is trained in the skills I need. It doesn't change what they are in relationship to myself or my Darling, regardless of what skills they bring to the table. On that same note, just because someone comes with a basket full of skills, that doesn't mean that xhe's going to be treated any differently in our household -- as a newcomer, xhe'll still be subject to the same scrutiny and proving period as any other servant -- and we'll -still- hold a bias towards our proven servants if a question comes up about hir behavior, demeanor, or work ethic.
I don't necessarily think that having a certain skill-set determines what submissive role the individual is capable of in a dynamic. I'm more interested in whether or not they will obey when given an instruction, and whether or not they will do their very best to please me -- or to give me a damned good reason why my pleasure is not going to be met... and I mean damned good for -me-... it really doesn't matter that much to me whether it's a damned good reason for -them-... once they're in the dynamic where I manage life, it's up to me whether or not someone else's reason for having things X way is going to fly (ok, I'll concede that my Darling has a say in whether or not something flies... but she's even more stubborn than I am, so lotsa luck with playing -that- hand.)
I guess my point is that it isn't the skills, or the title, or the accolades from former dominants or submissives that determines whether someone is suitable to wear a collar in our household. I will concede that it is a mindset that makes the difference between whether a person is a good 'servant' (because that's what we call them) or is full of bull-pucky.
I will also say, notwithstanding and because our household really doesn't mind training up servants who don't have experience, that the fantasy is often a lot different than reality, and someone with only the experience of what they've read on the boards or in a fantasy book, and who has no experience at living the reality, may or may not be able to 'cut it' when they're at a point where they're asked to live in complete submission to another person. A good 2/3 of the people we've interviewed and accepted in good faith, without experience, have decided that they -really- don't want to live under the strictures of full-time D/s. The biggest thing that we hear is "I didn't know it was going to be like -this-."
Ok, so maybe someone doesn't want a person who has never lived in a D/s relationship or M/s relationship before... that's fine. If it isn't right out there in the profile, and the person sounds good otherwise, that makes a good question to ask.
As far as semantics... I have my own semantic ideosyncracies. They don't mean squat to the people who are internally validated in their own semantic patterns. At the same time, whether someone disagrees with me or not, I'm still going to use my preferred terminology. Heck, someone had to start somewhere, right?
Calla Firestorm
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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RE: So, you are a "slave" - 
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