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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/19/2008 8:39:08 AM

VivaciousSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

besides that i am bi, and greedy. i want my cake and icing.

*laughing* Same here, lee. I say it's not that I'm bi. It's that I'm not picky!

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/19/2008 4:05:09 PM

impishlilhellcat

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I don't think anything other than just something internal pushed me this way. I can remember I was around the age of ten and it was new years eve and my mom and stepdad were having a party and the neighbor boys were over and I coherced them to tie me up. We played a game of damsel in distress one of them was the wicked evil villian and one of them was "prince charming". I liked the evil character much more than the good one. I enjoyed being tied up. Nothing happened to me that pushed me that way it was just there always has been.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/19/2008 4:33:46 PM

StrictnSaucy

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I remember having D/s thoughts back as far as when I was 4 or 5. I had the normal childhood - grew up in the countryside, lots of friends, extended family...... its just who I am.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/19/2008 5:37:04 PM

leakylee

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hehe.. equal opprotunity molester. that works too. just to continue the small hickjack. i did find some awesome stuff when i was out hunting for some leather pride shirts. i came across some items that were strictly bi-pride. needless to say, it just tickled me to no end.

end highjack..

smooches lee

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/21/2008 9:55:43 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leakylee

hehe.. equal opprotunity molester. that works too. just to continue the small hickjack. i did find some awesome stuff when i was out hunting for some leather pride shirts. i came across some items that were strictly bi-pride. needless to say, it just tickled me to no end.

end highjack..

smooches lee

Have you seen this? So cute.
http://www.cafepress.com/stickiwitch.15294070?r=froogle&CMP=OTC:froogle

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/21/2008 10:32:27 AM

servantheart

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Though I was sexually assaulted during my early teens and then treated poorly by the investigating law enforcement officer, being submissive is something I recognized within myself in late childhood. For me, it is an innate characteristic. I love to serve and to please.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/21/2008 10:52:55 AM

MrrPete

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I have to agree. It took too many years to find out I was Dominant. It's just who I am.

I know my fetish for high heels comes from wearing my mothers at an early stage of life.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/21/2008 6:08:56 PM

leakylee

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oh my stars,

thank you, that is cute. perfect. what more needs to be said?

hehe

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/21/2008 11:06:08 PM

VivaciousSub

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You know, the next time someone asks me what my sexual orientation is, I'll just reply "Yes."

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To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

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Post #: 49

RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/22/2008 1:16:57 AM

leakylee

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i think that would pretty much cover it, or that 'E' answer. 'All of the above.' that works too. but the Yes, clear cut and to the point.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 9/28/2008 7:36:54 AM

NovelApproach

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Kolekorin -

You seem to assume we have something wrong with us. I can assure you that, in my case at least, there is absolutely nothing "wrong."

I was a healthy, happy child, with a stable home life in a safe upper-middle class neighborhood, and a normal social life at a good school. My Dominant personality manifested pretty early in life - I was involved in leadership programs like sports and student council as early as elementary school, and continued with similar activities until I finished high school. In my junior year, I got involved with my first polyamorous relationship, which was quite healthy and rewarding compared to the trainwreck dating my peers seemed to be involved with, and a few other relationships I got involved in at that time were with boys who would later come out as submissives. By the time I entered college, I had developed an interest in kink, mostly in the form of erotica and porn, and I knew more or less who I was and what I wanted. Shortly thereafter I did have an experience with rape, which did affect a my life in many areas, but my sexuality was not one of them.

I find it prudent to add that my parents are *very* vanilla and that we're Asian. The culture is very patriarchal, with women being rasied to be demure homemakers, and men to be stoic professionals. However, I didn't feel a need to "rebel" against this mindset with my Dominance, especially because my extended family consists mostly of very strong, willful women.

I am attracted to D/s because its who I am. I think I was always meant to be dominant, and am most comfortable in a D/s relationship. I am attracted to the level of trust and intimacy D/s requires, and enjoy the responsibility of being in a Dominant, nurturing position. Sexually, I'm a "giver," and I find that being in a dominant role allows me to give fully, and my partner to receive fully. D/s satisfies me, emotionally and physically. My formative experiences have nothing to do with that.

In short, my upbringing was pleasant and normal, I suffer from no mental illness (though having been a "Talented and Gifted" kid, I'm not exactly neurotypical), and the environment I was raised in did not lean towards the lifestyle or female dominance in any way. I'm just who I am.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/1/2008 1:51:39 AM

pdv99

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I'll add another count to the "I had a happy normal childhood" camp.
I suppose I first had these feelings as a teenager in the sixties, seeing girls in thigh boots or leather clothing.
When I first came across D/s magazines it struck a chord and I yearned to know more, but it wasn't until the age of the internet I learned such interests were pretty common, and found other people who shared them. So I wasn't "driven" to D/s (the language is significant) - I was drawn to it because it aroused me. So I came here for positive pleasurable reasons, not negative ones.
I don't think being switch is a mental illness (I know some here do;) ) so I consider myself without significant mental health issues - (except for the flashbacks about being abducted by aliens and probed anally)(Damn no, that wasn't aliens, that was Ms G, I remember now....).

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/2/2008 5:19:47 PM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kolekorin

Hey Everyone,

I'm wondering why you are attracted to a d/s or polyamourous relationship. I decided to put this in health section because I consider this discussion to be along the lines of mental health.

Questions: Were you raped, molested, beaten, raised in the lifestyle or had otherwise weird things happen to them growing up? Or is it your culture or background?

I am a submissive needing someone who controls.
Sir actually drove his oldsmobile to me.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/2/2008 5:37:01 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kolekorin

Hey Everyone,

I'm wondering why you are attracted to a d/s or polyamourous relationship. I decided to put this in health section because I consider this discussion to be along the lines of mental health.

Questions: Were you raped, molested, beaten, raised in the lifestyle or had otherwise weird things happen to them growing up? Or is it your culture or background?

I think I was born like this. While I did not have a normal childhood by any stretch of the imagination, I am 100% certain that my childhood had nothing to do with it, since I can remember having these feelings at a very young age, before any trauma had occured in my life.

And like so many others, I didn't understand it and I thought I was the only one. That all changed at the age of 35 when I found other people like myself (online) and began to explore it in real life.

I can't imagine having a relationship any more without it being based on a ds dynamic. I also prefer to be with doms who are polyamorous. I've had several rt relationships and none of the doms were monogamous. I don't like to be anyone's sole focus and I need a lot of space around me. That's not because of any self esteem issues or because I don't feel important, it's just that I don't like that kind of attention being showered on me. It makes me feel pressured and like I can't breath.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/3/2008 2:58:43 PM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VivaciousSub

You know, the next time someone asks me what my sexual orientation is, I'll just reply "Yes."

All "normal" questionnaires ask
SEX: __ male __ female.
I have been known to write in YES.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/3/2008 3:18:35 PM

Cuffkinks

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Dick Dasterdly cartoons, James Bond movies, an overactive imagination, and at the age of 17, an affair with the 25 year old nymphomaniac sister of the drummer I was in a band with at the time who loved to be tied up. It stemmed from bondage and DID scenarios for Me. Then when I saw 9 1/2 weeks, it opened My mind a bit and I got a better understanding of actual Dominance. Things started to make more sense to Me after that.
Plus...I've always been an "adoration junkie," as My little girl puts it. The rest just came naturally.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/3/2008 3:28:38 PM

knockonmyduir

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i was a dirty little gurl from very young... playing dr. in the back seat of my dad's car with the boy next door...age 4 or 5

...that lead to reading my dad's porn pocketbooks...they were sooo good..

i used to tie my barbies up and play ( i know now) D/s house.....one would be tied up and the other would be 'having His way with her'....so for me it was always there, i just never knew and had no clue....once it was unleashed...well there's no going back from here...

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/6/2008 8:00:43 PM

MasterSteve57

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When I was around age 10 I got a set of encyclopedias. One of the volumes had a section of color images of famous paintings. One of the paintings was of a busty naked women lying on a couch with her wrists bound with her hands up over her head. Her lips wore a broad smile. Even at that young age I became excited.

I believe that I was born with my DOM nature buried somewhere deep in my DNA. I don't think experience had anything to do with it.

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 10/28/2008 2:23:12 PM

DavanKael

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What a strange presumption that someone has to be driven to bdsm; I wonder what that does to your own self-perception, OP? Why need it be pathologized?
Regardless of any life circumstances, I believe my attraction to power dynamics is my nature.
Davan

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RE: What Drove You to D/S - 12/6/2008 12:18:19 AM

Dralorsgirl

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lol ok, let me say... yes my shit filled childhood "might" have drove me to the lifestyle... more to the point, my father sold me to my first Master. so for me at first, it was a matter of conditioning perhaps that made me who i am. do i suffer mental illness? yes and have a blog about being an owned submissive who lives with the daily trips.
but hey let me say, i tried nilla and was so unhappy, i love being a submissive, i love belonging to Him.

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