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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 7:12:54 PM

masternoname

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Sounds like you found a good match.

I personally wouldn't care either.

good luck to both of you

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 7:31:56 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For personal beliefs I will not call my Dom Master. It is in no way shape or form disrespect. Just how I was raised and my beliefs. What I want to know from some of the Dom/mes is how would you take that? Would you feel as if it was disrespectful or would you understand and respect that?

I wouldn't see it as disrespectful.... I would just see that our belief structures make us as incompatiable for an intimate D/s or M/s relationship.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 7:33:59 PM

IronBear

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I have never and will never (Except the Gorean slaves) expect any sub/slave to address me as Master unless they are in my collar. "Yes I am a Master just not yoiur Master" view on my part. However , It is within the acceptability of my lifestyle and supported historicallythat I could be adressed as Master especially when in my own home as I am the Master of Bruin Cottage. Sir or Colonel are also acceptable with the latter being the most common title I am accorded in public life here, or when visiting the USA and UK. Secular and Formal appellations may be used in appropriate situations especially on formal State Functions.. On a general basis for those who are not of my home, IB will suffice.. Realy it is just a matter of what is right and appropriate within my lifestyle, and the refuirements of propper protocol. Anything else is unacceptable and is just not cricket.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 8:51:42 PM

antipode

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I can't for the life of me understand why I would want anybody to call me whatever honorific, to be honest. I tend to think that's for insecure men, it's a bit like someone with a Ph.D. insisting on being called Dr.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:03:16 PM

OrionTheWolf

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If that be your personal interpretation, then so be it. I would not say that all Christians are of the same belief though, and I am sure that God understands what you mean by what is in your heart, and not what is in a word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

As a christian you are taught to call no one, but God Master and the list of names go on. lol

edit to add*
We both agree that Sir works for us, though if during a scene if I want to call him Master I am allowed, but he does not care for it.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:04:58 PM

OrionTheWolf

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Ever been in a courtroom?

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I can't for the life of me understand why I would want anybody to call me whatever honorific, to be honest. I tend to think that's for insecure men, it's a bit like someone with a Ph.D. insisting on being called Dr.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:15:04 PM

Belleinblack

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Quote: If I can push her to the point where she calls me "you fucking bastard" then that's a good day.

Lol.. I love it.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:35:08 PM

Sandyshores29718

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf

If that be your personal interpretation, then so be it. I would not say that all Christians are of the same belief though, and I am sure that God understands what you mean by what is in your heart, and not what is in a word.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

As a christian you are taught to call no one, but God Master and the list of names go on. lol

edit to add*
We both agree that Sir works for us, though if during a scene if I want to call him Master I am allowed, but he does not care for it.

I agree. This is just how I feel. I don't hold others to how I live my life. Never have never will. :)

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:49:20 PM

Leatherist

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I tend to find deeds of more value than words.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 10:56:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718
As a christian you are taught to call no one, but God Master and the list of names go on. lol

edit to add*
We both agree that Sir works for us, though if during a scene if I want to call him Master I am allowed, but he does not care for it.

You do realize that not all christians are taught this, have this as part of their belief structure and find no contradiction with it?

That's what I was referring to in my post- not that calling someone "master" is a big deal, but that you have such blind faith in this way as "the way" that it could easily interfere when it's something that IS a big deal in my life.

As KM said, it doesn't mean you are disrespectful, simply that we're not compatible- not because you won't call someone master, but because you have this bling faith structure that competes too much with what works for me to be fulfilled and grow.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 11:38:31 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Master is not only how I identify, it reflects my spiritual path. If someone came to me wanting to serve and they didn't want to call me Master I'd know that they weren't in a place where they understood me and thus weren't ready for a deep relationship with me..and that they probably didn't understand themselves either. It has nothing to an ego trip or whatever and everything to do with honoring my chosen path. I'm not catholic, but I'd still call a priest, "Father," if I knew he was one. Do know, however, that I don't expect ANYone EXCEPT those that serve me to call me Master...and I expect them to understand WHY they call me that.

But, I'm a patient person. I had a similar situation, actually, with a slave in my life. she had real, deep-rooted issues with calling women, "Ma'am," due to a domineering mother whom she loves dearly. If a slave of mine is addressing me directly, my protocol is for them to call me Maam. she just couldn't do it at first...but the relationship was quite new. I allowed her to call me Master instead until she was ready to surrender that piece. she did after we talked about it a lot and her trust of me grew. Sadly, we're no longer in an Ms relationship due to my move, but she still calls me Maam when we speak. *chuckle*

Master Fire

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/17/2008 11:44:50 PM

NormalOutside

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I don't really care what I'm called, as long as there's respect. But if someone came up to me and said "I'm not gonna every call you X!" I'd want to know why, especially if it was someone I owned. Seems a bit silly, but if that's your belief or whatever, okay.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 2:18:29 AM

BrokenSaint

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Well, being called master can be incredibly hot if you're in the midst of something with that particular feel to it, however I tend to not really give a damn. Except I'm not a big fan of being called sir. Should only be used either by someone I do not know in a formal environment, or if I've been knighted as far as I'm concerned. They're just titles, someone could call me the King of Narnia for all I care, if the respect is there, it's there, I don't feel a title really adds anything to it personally. At least as far as after you've gotten heavily involved with someone. For training, sure! I see where it helps, reinforcing a mindset and all. But neccesary, and for everyone? Nah.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 2:49:36 AM

Focus50

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Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For personal beliefs I will not call my Dom Master. It is in no way shape or form disrespect. Just how I was raised and my beliefs. What I want to know from some of the Dom/mes is how would you take that? Would you feel as if it was disrespectful or would you understand and respect that?

I am not collared, but in a relationship with a Dom and he knows my personal feelings and understands and doesnt care that I dont call him Master. I mostly call him by his given name, but there are times I call him Sir. I just wanted to get some others thoughts on the matter.

I prefer to be addressed as "Sir" rather than "Master" anyway, but you're raising a bigger (and more interesting) issue here....

For almost anything the girl has a problem with, I'll accept a reason but not an excuse. So to answer your greater question; if I took issue with your stance then we'd be discussing your reasons (as equal, mature adults) and assuming I accepted your reasoning, which I likely would, then that'd be that and we'd work out something else.... But "hey, you!" probably wouldn't work for me, either....

Whatever you choose, it's not the actual name that commands respect, it's how it's used. That *IS* something I'm very conscious of, esp when my eyes are locked onto hers.

Focus.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 3:09:55 AM

Focus50

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I can't for the life of me understand why I would want anybody to call me whatever honorific, to be honest. I tend to think that's for insecure men, it's a bit like someone with a Ph.D. insisting on being called Dr.

You think it insecure to set standards of attitude and behaviour for your submissive, to lead and take charge, to put her in a submissive headspace desired by Dom/me and sub alike?

Hmmm, I wonder how may PhD's insist on their intimate partners calling them 'Dr'...? Me, I'll take 'insecure' over your passive and unchallenging indifference, anyday.

Focus.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 3:22:56 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For personal beliefs I will not call my Dom Master. It is in no way shape or form disrespect. Just how I was raised and my beliefs. What I want to know from some of the Dom/mes is how would you take that? Would you feel as if it was disrespectful or would you understand and respect that?

I am not collared, but in a relationship with a Dom and he knows my personal feelings and understands and doesnt care that I dont call him Master. I mostly call him by his given name, but there are times I call him Sir. I just wanted to get some others thoughts on the matter.

Personally, it depends on the relationship and dynamic established. Some have been casual in such respects, where names and titles didn't matter and weren't part of it. Others, like my current one, I've specific ways in which I prefer to be addressed, some ways that are liked or acceptable, and some ways that are right out.

I don't have "it's always like this _____" rules. I go with what is natural and right feeling with that person and in that interaction.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 4:04:42 AM

RavenMuse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
He feels just as you stated, RM, it's inappropriate. To Him, for someone to call Him that when He doesn't own her, means that she has no idea what the word even means to Him and is just tossing it around playfully. Not appropriate at all.

Absolutely. Two of the terms My girl refers to Me by are, to Me, rather exclusive to the Dynamic I have with her, Master and Daddy. There are a number of girls out there who feel the need to refer to Me with an honorific despite Me not Owning them, they call Me Sir, a couple out there fondly refer to Me as Uncle Raven because whilst they relate to the paternal aspect of My dynamic they are not MY little girl.

When that Dynamic IS present with a girl I Own then those two terms become appropriate.... a girl who has that big a problem with using those terms isn't on the same wavelength about what that form of Dynamic means. I don't think less of her, but such a girl is simply not compatable with Me for that level of Dynamic.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 5:17:08 AM

Sandyshores29718

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718
As a christian you are taught to call no one, but God Master and the list of names go on. lol

edit to add*
We both agree that Sir works for us, though if during a scene if I want to call him Master I am allowed, but he does not care for it.

You do realize that not all christians are taught this, have this as part of their belief structure and find no contradiction with it?

That's what I was referring to in my post- not that calling someone "master" is a big deal, but that you have such blind faith in this way as "the way" that it could easily interfere when it's something that IS a big deal in my life.

As KM said, it doesn't mean you are disrespectful, simply that we're not compatible- not because you won't call someone master, but because you have this bling faith structure that competes too much with what works for me to be fulfilled and grow.

I understand not all believe that way. I know that and theres nothing wrong with it.

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 7:25:09 AM

DavidS8ist

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I don't want, expect, appreciate honorifics from anyone not owned by me. My name is David, use it.

Gem calls me Man most often because it was a little easier to use when her son was living with us. Although he was aware of our dynamic, using "sir" or "master" in Barnes and Noble would have been a bit more awkward in front of his friends than "man". That said, it really doesn't matter what she calls me: it's *how* it's said and the obedience that counts.

Anything else, to me, is window dressing.

D., who thinks the world had become honorific-obsessed...

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RE: Your thoughts on a sub not calling you Master - 8/18/2008 9:34:54 AM

IronBear

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In the final analysis, we are all different with differing views and differing requirements. No one is better than anyone else, no one is wrong and all are right...for them. It is just a matter of good manners to address someone in a manner which is acceptable without compromising your own stance. certainly some things change once in a relationship which is to be expected. However to refer to anyone being insecure bevcause they prefer to be addressed in a specific manner shows a lack of maturity and the inability to accept other people's perspectives or beliefs of what is correct.

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