RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of

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RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:46:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

There is no one or the other. There is one, another, another after that, and it goes on, and everything in between

No you are the silly woman, she was talking about the progression and thats what I said to MAD, it happens gradually and it's NOT a line. This poster was talking about the level of change as her relationship continued.

No silly man, you were talking about transference, she was talking about surrender and the levels of that. they are not the same thing.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:46:22 PM

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From: Connecticut
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quote:

And what the hell does that have to with experience with meeting a wide variety of different people in different relationships, and mostly, falling in love?

It has everything to do with it. Your understanding of enslavement is hindered by not being able to have experienced a long term relationship that encompasses it. One of your cohorts here talks about 20 years to get the point he is now. You don't have that level of experience. You can cry foul all you want, but until you can experience a relationship to those depths you will never be able to comprehend that type of emotion or dedication. Enslavement or whatever YOU wish to call it, does not occur over night and it can take years to achieve.

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:47:10 PM

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i'm not sure... i will go check and get back to You.

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:49:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

There is no one or the other. There is one, another, another after that, and it goes on, and everything in between

No you are the silly woman, she was talking about the progression and thats what I said to MAD, it happens gradually and it's NOT a line. This poster was talking about the level of change as her relationship continued.

Man, look at you....hurling insults at your computer screen. Is this the behavior of a Master? Someone who is in control of himself? Letting yourself getting emotionally flustered and calling names at your computer screen like a middle schooler. "No, your a poo-poo head!"

It doesn't say a lot for someone with so much life experience and such superiority over everyone else to lose his composure like he has these last 2 pages. How can you ever Master a slave if people on the Internet can poke and prod you into hurling insults like this?

It almost reeks of a delusional narcissitic megalomaniac. You know...one of those guys who sits at home every night, alone, and lost in his own fantasies of grandeur and self-superiority...of being something better than his crappy job as a gas station attendant. The gap between fantasy and reality grows and he creates an altar Internet ego, an entire personality to love out on the net. A few pictures, two profiles, he sits down every night and gets in character, someone eloquent and refined, the carciature of what a Master should be and lectures about things he has read in books and on web pages.

Won't that be sad?

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:51:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

And what the hell does that have to with experience with meeting a wide variety of different people in different relationships, and mostly, falling in love?

It has everything to do with it. Your understanding of enslavement is hindered by not being able to have experienced a long term relationship that encompasses it. One of your cohorts here talks about 20 years to get the point he is now. You don't have that level of experience. You can cry foul all you want, but until you can experience a relationship to those depths you will never be able to comprehend that type of emotion or dedication. Enslavement or whatever YOU wish to call it, does not occur over night and it can take years to achieve.

In my experience the real masters are gracious, giving of spirit and knowlege, are wise enough to listen to new ideas and respectful of those around them. They also dont proclaim themselves a Master. They dont need to. They just are. They dont name call and put people down to elevate themselves. It makes me worry about the slave under their care if they do. What kind of names would they be calling the slave? I fear an emotionally abusive nature. Especially with all this ultimate surrender and talk of noncommunicative punishment.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:52:45 PM

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Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
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quote:

Won't that be sad?

Well why don't you come on up here. I attend most of the big local events. Black Rose isn't too far from you. I can introduce you to the slaves and introduce you to a few people who can avouch for me locally. Some manage the local groups. Can you do the same?

< Message edited by MasterAramis -- 9/6/2008 10:54:58 PM >

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:53:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

And what the hell does that have to with experience with meeting a wide variety of different people in different relationships, and mostly, falling in love?

It has everything to do with it. Your understanding of enslavement is hindered by not being able to have experienced a long term relationship that encompasses it. One of your cohorts here talks about 20 years to get the point he is now. You don't have that level of experience. You can cry foul all you want, but until you can experience a relationship to those depths you will never be able to comprehend that type of emotion or dedication. Enslavement or whatever YOU wish to call it, does not occur over night and it can take years to achieve.

And your still not saying I am wrong or directly challenging the opinions themselves. Your still just trying to save face in light of your Internet bullshit being turned upside.

What KoM is describing here in his own relationships is very different then what you have been trying to depict.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:53:23 PM

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To many the practises of limited/no contact may be harmful. There can be benefits as well, for the right personality/relationship.

i am extremely internal, to a fault. Often i need a lot of time to think things through. Many times i believe i am done with my realizations, only to find waves of further enlightenment... if i am given time to do so.

i wanted to rush things in the beginning, always leaping ahead, and His contact control always reined me back and prevented me from becoming overwhelmed. slavery is so intense, acceptance is so sharp a blade... sometimes a girl needs time to scab over.

Sometimes there are days of nonverbal contact between my Sir and i at this point in my development. At first that hurt me deeply. But He was always back again, and always there inside me, always with me. Over time, i have learned that this time i am sometimes granted is a caring thing, and, more importantly, His will. my service is about Him, and through that, who i am... a circle.

No contact can be a test. Will you do as you promised when the cat's away? Are you ready to serve? Are you for real?

Why do people not WANT time to drink in what is happening to them, positive or negative?

my times alone have given me confidence in myself and our relationship. He always comes back. And how could He not feel more confidence in me as well... i am here whether it is fun or not, whether i get to see Him when i want to or not. i view our times apart as an opportunity to demonstrate my devotion through my actions in His physical absence.

i do not wilt or release when left to myself, i continue to think and grow within based on the input i am given during our times. Punishment or necessity, time can be love...

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:55:38 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: underHisWing
Silence puts space between a Master and His slave that is destructive to the relationship.

But what if not enforcing silence is more destructive to the relationship?

This is not a tool that I would advocate many to use because frankly I see very few use it well.

In our house it is used very effectively. It comes down to my choices of behaviors. If I am behaving poorly he will tell me, "I don't want to talk to you until you can behave appropriately". It is then up to me how long that period of silence will be.

To continue to allow me to behave inappropriately would be more destructive to our relationship than sending me away to get a grip on myself.

This is a tool that has not been used in more than a year with me and it has only been used a few times in our relationship. At first it sucked because I felt abandoned and rejected, but then I realized that choices I was making caused this. He wasn't rejecting me, he was rejecting my behavior because it was destructive. I started making different choices and stopped engaging in behavior that was destructive to our relationship.

To reiterate... I see very few use this tool effectively, so I don't advocate that it be used. Mine is just an example of how it can be a constructive tool in a relationship with anyone and not just M/s.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to underHisWing)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:55:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

quote:

Won't that be sad?

Well why don't you come on up here. I attend most of the big local events. Black Rose isn't too far from you. I can introduce you the slaves and introduce you to a few people who can avouch for me locally. Can you do the same?

Qualifying yourself to a 25 year old now?

Man, your insecurities must run deep.

The difference between me and you is not once have I offered any kind of personal testament to my relationship experience or scene experience, not because I can't provide it, but because I am big enough to argue with you face to face on a logical scale with examples for perspective rather than run and hide behind a bag of hot air that may or may not be true.

Your experience or my experience have absolutely no bearing in a theoretical forum. Only our opinions and the reason and logic behind those opinions matters.

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:55:52 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

It has everything to do with it. Your understanding of enslavement is hindered by not being able to have experienced a long term relationship that encompasses it. One of your cohorts here talks about 20 years to get the point he is now. You don't have that level of experience. You can cry foul all you want, but until you can experience a relationship to those depths you will never be able to comprehend that type of emotion or dedication. Enslavement or whatever YOU wish to call it, does not occur over night and it can take years to achieve.

However.... this Cohort is not so pretentious to think that because I have twenty years of experience in the given relationship with Alandra that the insight of someone such as the CrazyRabbit, LA and many many others couldn't give me some significant value that my glorious 20 years of experience with Alandra failed to give me. I also happen to have a wonderful girl in Kyra that has been ongoing for about 3 years... in many ways.. I have learned more in those three years than the 20 with Alandra. Truth is... time is silly measure to me. It really doesn't speak to having any significant knowledge or experience. I have met some that have more experience on a given issue with vary less time in life than those that have years of life. In general, it's the wisdom that comes from them that means more to me than the count on there age clock. Some can have amazing insights after one experience... some just keep repeating the same destructive experience and never learn.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 10:57:50 PM

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I see Madame Eleven's special touch in someone's future.

CaliTheOldBroad

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AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Katchoo)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:00:01 PM

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Well wait a minute, you accused me of being some falsehood, so I am giving you an opportunity to meet me in the flesh in a public forum at an event that is not too far from your home. There is something wrong with this?

(in reply to MadRabbit)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:00:26 PM

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_1101738/mpage_1/key_worst%252Cpunishment/tm.htm#1101738

This thread is "a slave's worst punishment". The poll was probably done on another site. If i find it i will send it to You. Most of the posts on the first page of the above thread cited "being ignored" or "denying contact with her Master" as the worst punishment. Many of the posters explain what it did to them emotionally and gave an alternative punishment that they disliked. In other words, the masochists didn't say they preferred a beating... they said that having their Master express His disappointment reduced them to tears and was a far better deterrent to the bad behaviour than being punished by silence.

Your slave is lucky that You are doing this research. If You choose not to punish with silence, You are also saving Yourself some future problems.

(in reply to underHisWing)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:00:53 PM

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The thing that people seem to miss in using silience as tool.. is not to take the power from the person in the use of the tool. Silence is indeed extremely effective and can do alot of damange.... BUT... if the person has the power to affect or change the situation. The tool actually is fixing the problem instead of making a problem worse.

As I said much earlier in this thread... one needs to make sure that the person understands why the tool is being used... .... they also must ensure that the person has the ability to correct the situation. by changing the reason the tool was used in the first place.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:04:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterAramis

Well wait a minute, you accused me of being some falsehood, so I am giving you an opportunity to meet me in the flesh in a public forum at an event that is not too far from your home. There is something wrong with this?

Yeah....lol....who the fuck cares what I think?

I certainly don't care all too much of your opinion about me and have no intentions of getting in my car and driving just to settle some bullshit late night Internet war of words.

You seem to want to. You seem to want to prove yourself to me. A 25 year old. I'm glad you find my opinion of you sooo important and my approval that you are willing to go out of your way to meet me just because someone called you a bad name on the Internet.

Look at yourself....hurling insults, beating your chest, and willing to go to great lengths to meet someone just so you can prove that your right LOL.

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

It's the Internet, bro. If you get this flustered and defensive online, how are you going to handle it when you get some experience flesh to flesh with a real person?

_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to MasterAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:05:03 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AnnaOfAramis

While I make it a point to "touch" my property everyday, I have come to understand that this might be more normal than I would have believed so I am trying to get my head around its use as a tool to train a slave.

If you have to wrap your head around it, then you're not equipped to utilize that as a tool for training. For the most part, slaves don't need training, just some minor tweaking. Your best bet is to find someone who is already compatible with you then you won't have to resort to unfamiliar tools to help you tweak them to fill your desires. At most, telling them how to fold your socks or fix your coffee is pretty much all you'll have to do to tweak a slave. Most of the rest is going to come from the core of the slave and their desire to serve you well.

Stick with what works, yanno?

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to AnnaOfAramis)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:07:45 PM

ModeratorEleven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I see Madame Eleven's special touch in someone's future.

More than one someone, surely.

Ok folks, enough of the personal attacks and namecalling. I don't care how old anyone here is, you're all acting like you missed nap time.

Chill out or there will be no milk and cookies after recess.

XI

_____________________________

This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to CalifChick)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:09:46 PM

Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

Your slave is lucky that You are doing this research. If You choose not to punish with silence, You are also saving Yourself some future problems.

Contrary to the misconception here, I started this thread because I have seen this tactic used time and time again. Not just as a punishment but out of ignorance or a better word indifference.

A year ago a slave's Master befriended me and then just disappeared on his slave for weeks. She was a basket case. She didn't know if she did something wrong, she would call me to ask if I had heard from him, I had not, she didn't know what occurred. Eventually he showed up and acted like no big deal, you are just a slave. It emotionally wrecked her.

Then about a month ago another slave that I know but I don't know her Master contacted me and said her Master hadn't contacted her in weeks and what did I make of it. Naturally I had no idea, other than to pose some questions to her to see what the possiblities were.

Then I started searching on the forums to see if this was a natural thing amoungst Masters and I saw that it happens frequently. My original post was to try to determine why it happens. What is the benefit of any, either actual or perceived.

(in reply to underHisWing)

RE: Communicating with the slave or lack there of - 9/6/2008 11:09:51 PM

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mmmmmmmmmmmm are they oatmeal cookies? or chocolate chip?

just asking cause if they are oatmeal... well.. hell... you can keep them.. I gonna stay playing in the mud...

but if they chocolate chip... oh baby you got me... can I call you Mommy?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)

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