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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 3:35:06 PM

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Joined: 5/6/2007
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lol...yes I have heard this before myself. I have one guy in Houston that I have to continuously block (he keeps changing his nik), who loves to tell me that I should pick him, and that I'm going to die alone, etc. whatever....I don't have pie in the sky expectations...what I look for is very simple....be nice and respectful...I refuse to "lower" my standards to be with someone who's rude and nasty.

Like others have said, I'd much rather "die alone" than settle. Tried "settling" before and it never, ever, works out. So if what you want is what you want go for it...no one is right are wrong in this lifestyle in what they want...just have to wait and find the one that matches you.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 3:42:23 PM

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Ummm... wouldn't accepting that someone is your master be the first step? What I was saying was that you have to get to that point first.
Now, if sunnyfey feels it is in her to accept the conditions proffered that would be a moot point.
But in general, people who would choose that (to be art) are not falling off trees. As it stands, his wants are fine to have, not so easy to accomplish without waiting it out, for weeks, months, or years, IF ever. While I believe there is someone or something out there for everyone, I do not believe that we necessarily find that.
The only shortcut I know is to lie about what you want or need, which may or may not work.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
well as I see it, a particular girl with an open mind and willingness to learn could make him happy.
Part of the enjoyment of learning is becoming more pleaseing to Master which tends to be the goal of most submissives.

Would you do it?

You're joking. We're on the message boards of a D/s site and you're asking why a sub would hypothetically wish to please her Master??

(in reply to NihilusZero)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 4:26:33 PM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Because she will do all this to please him knowing he doesn't care at all about her, and quite likely will walk away on a moment's notice. He isn't willing to invest emotionally as much as he demands she invests. By stating upfront that he will not care about her, that this is just a physical thing, she's putting too much time and effort in for what is after all, just a casual fuck buddy.

That's why if a rural community sponsors someone through medical school, the new doctor is committed to serving in that community for a certain time frame. They don't just give a scholarship while being perfectly fine with not getting any medical care in exchange for the money.

Submissive women usually aren't willing to give over this huge amount of control without a corresponding amount of emotional intimacy. She is expected to trust him totally knowing she can't trust him to be there the next day. That's a contradiction in terms.

Huh. Out of curiosity, what am I doing that is portraying that I'd walk away on a moment's notice? Especially if I spend months to years training someone, working with someone, making art with someone, and building a good working relationship with someone, and that someone has skills that are incredibly difficult to find to begin with, what possible motivation would I have to just walk away? It seems like, in this situation, it would be pretty easy to trust me to be there the next day - what possible reason would I have to throw away all that investment and opportunity?

The fact that you say upfront you are only there for the physical. That you aren't available for any kind of fuller relationship. So if she falls off those ballet boots and spends six month in a body cast, she can't expect you to be there for her. Especially if the doctor tells her she can't ever wear them again.

You stated upfront that you aren't interested in a relationship for fear of being hurt. But the commitment you ask is one that is so extensive it is going to be damn near impossible to find without an equal commitment on your part. Which you have been honest enough to say will never happen.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 5:06:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Because she will do all this to please him knowing he doesn't care at all about her, and quite likely will walk away on a moment's notice. He isn't willing to invest emotionally as much as he demands she invests. By stating upfront that he will not care about her, that this is just a physical thing, she's putting too much time and effort in for what is after all, just a casual fuck buddy.

That's why if a rural community sponsors someone through medical school, the new doctor is committed to serving in that community for a certain time frame. They don't just give a scholarship while being perfectly fine with not getting any medical care in exchange for the money.

Submissive women usually aren't willing to give over this huge amount of control without a corresponding amount of emotional intimacy. She is expected to trust him totally knowing she can't trust him to be there the next day. That's a contradiction in terms.

Huh. Out of curiosity, what am I doing that is portraying that I'd walk away on a moment's notice? Especially if I spend months to years training someone, working with someone, making art with someone, and building a good working relationship with someone, and that someone has skills that are incredibly difficult to find to begin with, what possible motivation would I have to just walk away? It seems like, in this situation, it would be pretty easy to trust me to be there the next day - what possible reason would I have to throw away all that investment and opportunity?

The fact that you say upfront you are only there for the physical. That you aren't available for any kind of fuller relationship. So if she falls off those ballet boots and spends six month in a body cast, she can't expect you to be there for her. Especially if the doctor tells her she can't ever wear them again.

You stated upfront that you aren't interested in a relationship for fear of being hurt. But the commitment you ask is one that is so extensive it is going to be damn near impossible to find without an equal commitment on your part. Which you have been honest enough to say will never happen.

Are you imagining how you might feel and what you'd think he would do to you if you put those shoes on? Of course the chances are that, there is someone out there for Him and i'm sure they would probably find it a kind of fuller relationship if they both were looking for the same, no?

What's to say he would just leave her in the hospital if she fell. Someone has some abandonment issues, possibly?

You are kind of stretching there aren't ya?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/23/2008 11:59:14 PM

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From: OK
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Again as is my forte on here .......lets go down to brass tacks (i really do love that expression)

(note this is not a difinitive answer to all that is bdsm)

Part of any relationship (sexual or not) is that we are useing people. (im gonna get flamed for this most likely but eh) I love my Master, I use him..to put it in context, to get what i want in a relationship (note im not adding the altruistic motives of being pleaseing and loving and such like to Master...though I still am) I got into this relationship knowing, that this is what i WANTED from someone. He got into this relationship knowing what he wanted from me. He uses me to get his kinks out, I use him to get my kinks out. We USE each other to get that biolgical chemy happy vibe called love, I use him to up my endorphins, he uses me to do the same. I use him to cuddle with, he uses me for the same. In ALL that we do we are USEING people to get what WE WANT. Dont throw emotions into this statement, this is brass tacks for everyone, and really no one can deny it. Everyday for the rest of your life, you will use someone atleast once a day ( even if that person is compenstated by something they get from you, love,money,sex,power the four things that run this world).

So why dont we (humor me for a bit) break down what he wants to brass tacks

He wants to use someone the way he can to get his needs met, just like all the rest of us.

(note that wasent directed at anyone on here....just randomness i thought i would share and maybe slightly off topic)

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 1:27:51 AM

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That is true, but he cannot find anyone that can meet his needs completely, so he is now asking advice on how to lower his standards. So he knows what he wants, but is frustrated over not being able to get it, and is trying to find out what he needs.

I think Calvin can give him what he needs

Edited to say I am just joking

< Message edited by zakkan -- 9/24/2008 1:29:42 AM >

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(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 5:47:55 AM

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Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Part of any relationship (sexual or not) is that we are useing people. (im gonna get flamed for this most likely but eh) I love my Master, I use him..

Relationship are indeed consensual dynamics of mutual use. No flaming here (unless this was a sneaky way to potentially attract some fireplay your way).

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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(in reply to Sunnyfey)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 7:23:20 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Because she will do all this to please him knowing he doesn't care at all about her, and quite likely will walk away on a moment's notice. He isn't willing to invest emotionally as much as he demands she invests. By stating upfront that he will not care about her, that this is just a physical thing, she's putting too much time and effort in for what is after all, just a casual fuck buddy.

That's why if a rural community sponsors someone through medical school, the new doctor is committed to serving in that community for a certain time frame. They don't just give a scholarship while being perfectly fine with not getting any medical care in exchange for the money.

Submissive women usually aren't willing to give over this huge amount of control without a corresponding amount of emotional intimacy. She is expected to trust him totally knowing she can't trust him to be there the next day. That's a contradiction in terms.

Huh. Out of curiosity, what am I doing that is portraying that I'd walk away on a moment's notice? Especially if I spend months to years training someone, working with someone, making art with someone, and building a good working relationship with someone, and that someone has skills that are incredibly difficult to find to begin with, what possible motivation would I have to just walk away? It seems like, in this situation, it would be pretty easy to trust me to be there the next day - what possible reason would I have to throw away all that investment and opportunity?

The fact that you say upfront you are only there for the physical. That you aren't available for any kind of fuller relationship. So if she falls off those ballet boots and spends six month in a body cast, she can't expect you to be there for her. Especially if the doctor tells her she can't ever wear them again.

You stated upfront that you aren't interested in a relationship for fear of being hurt. But the commitment you ask is one that is so extensive it is going to be damn near impossible to find without an equal commitment on your part. Which you have been honest enough to say will never happen.

Are you imagining how you might feel and what you'd think he would do to you if you put those shoes on? Of course the chances are that, there is someone out there for Him and i'm sure they would probably find it a kind of fuller relationship if they both were looking for the same, no?

What's to say he would just leave her in the hospital if she fell. Someone has some abandonment issues, possibly?

You are kind of stretching there aren't ya?

How is she stretching? I don't have any abandonment issues and MY first reply to him was along the same lines.

Here we have a person...the OP...who wants to create "art". He wants to build a willing female submissive into a living, breathing "arte d'objet" and expects her to commit tons of time and submission to his molding of her. So many on here keep noting that a fuller relationship may develop...even giving him the benefit of the doubt and taking away 25% of what he says about NOT being interested in a long-term relationship and NOT wanting it to be a loving relationship (note that I did not say a "being in love" relationship), he is still asking for a hell of a lot of submission to fulfill a fetish/obsession/desire. And his statement of attaining a specific goal with very defining characteristics, when taken along with his statements regarding relationships that involve loving and caring, certainly do not indicate that he would be there if an accident such as DES mentioned became fact.

It's been noted on here that there are "probably" plenty of female submissives who are into TPE that would love this type of relationship and I have to ask: where are they, then? Why has this dominant been bombarded on this post with those female submissives seeking him out? Could it be because those who are interested in TPE want there to be other power coming forth from this dominant that would encompass something other than his "remodeling" of her for one specific purpose?

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 9/24/2008 7:40:58 AM >

(in reply to Icarys)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 9:05:23 AM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zakkan

Edited to say I am just joking

I don't get the sense that you're joking. :) It's okay to say what you mean; we don't have to hide behind humor.

(in reply to zakkan)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 10:09:11 AM

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Joined: 4/15/2008
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I really was joking about the Calvin cartoon. I found it on the web and just wanted to show it off... But, I admit I thought of you when I saw it :)

Edit: And it is a pretty funny drawing, don't you think?

< Message edited by zakkan -- 9/24/2008 10:10:37 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 10:29:12 AM

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Because she will do all this to please him knowing he doesn't care at all about her, and quite likely will walk away on a moment's notice. He isn't willing to invest emotionally as much as he demands she invests. By stating upfront that he will not care about her, that this is just a physical thing, she's putting too much time and effort in for what is after all, just a casual fuck buddy.

That's why if a rural community sponsors someone through medical school, the new doctor is committed to serving in that community for a certain time frame. They don't just give a scholarship while being perfectly fine with not getting any medical care in exchange for the money.

Submissive women usually aren't willing to give over this huge amount of control without a corresponding amount of emotional intimacy. She is expected to trust him totally knowing she can't trust him to be there the next day. That's a contradiction in terms.

Huh. Out of curiosity, what am I doing that is portraying that I'd walk away on a moment's notice? Especially if I spend months to years training someone, working with someone, making art with someone, and building a good working relationship with someone, and that someone has skills that are incredibly difficult to find to begin with, what possible motivation would I have to just walk away? It seems like, in this situation, it would be pretty easy to trust me to be there the next day - what possible reason would I have to throw away all that investment and opportunity?

The fact that you say upfront you are only there for the physical. That you aren't available for any kind of fuller relationship. So if she falls off those ballet boots and spends six month in a body cast, she can't expect you to be there for her. Especially if the doctor tells her she can't ever wear them again.

You stated upfront that you aren't interested in a relationship for fear of being hurt. But the commitment you ask is one that is so extensive it is going to be damn near impossible to find without an equal commitment on your part. Which you have been honest enough to say will never happen.

Are you imagining how you might feel and what you'd think he would do to you if you put those shoes on? Of course the chances are that, there is someone out there for Him and i'm sure they would probably find it a kind of fuller relationship if they both were looking for the same, no?

What's to say he would just leave her in the hospital if she fell. Someone has some abandonment issues, possibly?

You are kind of stretching there aren't ya?

How is she stretching? I don't have any abandonment issues and MY first reply to him was along the same lines.

Here we have a person...the OP...who wants to create "art". He wants to build a willing female submissive into a living, breathing "arte d'objet" and expects her to commit tons of time and submission to his molding of her. So many on here keep noting that a fuller relationship may develop...even giving him the benefit of the doubt and taking away 25% of what he says about NOT being interested in a long-term relationship and NOT wanting it to be a loving relationship (note that I did not say a "being in love" relationship), he is still asking for a hell of a lot of submission to fulfill a fetish/obsession/desire. And his statement of attaining a specific goal with very defining characteristics, when taken along with his statements regarding relationships that involve loving and caring, certainly do not indicate that he would be there if an accident such as DES mentioned became fact.

It's been noted on here that there are "probably" plenty of female submissives who are into TPE that would love this type of relationship and I have to ask: where are they, then? Why has this dominant been bombarded on this post with those female submissives seeking him out? Could it be because those who are interested in TPE want there to be other power coming forth from this dominant that would encompass something other than his "remodeling" of her for one specific purpose?

Well there is one at least who thinks it was a good idea. What you describe as a Fuller
Relationship seems like it's based on what you might think that is. I stated early on that what he's looking for "probably" was going to be hard to attain in a "quick" fashion.

As i'm sure you may be aware, just about anyone who's into some of the more extreme ways of living is likely to have to wait awhile to get a companion for it. Yet that's not always the case. Life happens. He may just find someone through his actions with this post.

The stretching is in underlines.. Maybe you might see it now? It just sounded to me like she was speaking from hurt herself. As a mater of fact I've read a few of her latest posts and they seem to have anger in them. Just a thought. Since i don't know her i can't really be sure. There my stretching is done as well.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 2:45:52 PM

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

.even giving him the benefit of the doubt and taking away 25% of what he says about NOT being interested in a long-term relationship and NOT wanting it to be a loving relationship (note that I did not say a "being in love" relationship),

We may be talking semantics, here. I never mentioned that I didn't want a long-term relationship, in fact I've specifically stated that I DO want/need this to be a long-term thing, just built on different foundations than your "typical" long-term relationship. And love? I have no problem loving or being loved. I just don't want that to have any bearing on the nature of the relationship. I want us to both be there because we like what we're getting out of it for ourselves, not because we "complete" each other in any arcane soulmate sort of way.

quote:

he is still asking for a hell of a lot of submission to fulfill a fetish/obsession/desire. And his statement of attaining a specific goal with very defining characteristics, when taken along with his statements regarding relationships that involve loving and caring, certainly do not indicate that he would be there if an accident such as DES mentioned became fact.

Damn straight I am. And think about it this way - if I find someone that has that sort of drive and dedication to become what I want, and they have some sort of horrible mutilating accident, I will damn well find a way to keep utilizing them, if they're willing.

Example: While I find this girl hot, I find this girl infinitely hotter.

And then let's go out on a limb and say that someone's body is damaged enough that they can't fulfill my desires anymore. Am I just going to walk away after a long and wonderful working relationship? No. Because I'm not an ass. Of course it will probably end the play relationship, in the same sense that when Weng Yan got paralyzed practicing for the Olympics in 2007, (or Sang Lan in 1998, for that matter) her gymnastics coach PROBABLY stopped working with her on her uneven bars. But I have a feeling they still talk and have a good respect for each other, even if he can't keep training her.

Why do you assume that just because I want something difficult, strenuous, and with harsh physical prerequisites, that I'm going to be a dick to people about it? I like people. And I value connections and relationships. I just also happen to need to do this, and I've been burned out of mixing my love with my kink so I'm trying to formulate a new, more rigidly defined set of goals and prerequisites. I'm always willing to accept that I'm doing it wrong (or I wouldn't be starting these threads), but if I'm going to be told that I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong, right down to choosing what to do in the first place, I'm going to need to establish some trust and some ground-work before I'm willing to take such criticism at face value. Does this make sense?

quote:

It's been noted on here that there are "probably" plenty of female submissives who are into TPE that would love this type of relationship and I have to ask: where are they, then?

Have you met SunnyFey yet? That's her, 3 or 4 posts up.

quote:

Why has this dominant been bombarded on this post with those female submissives seeking him out?

I presume you intended a 'not' there, and I'll go out on a limb and say:

When have you ever seen a male dominant bombarded in a forum post by female submissives seeking him out? That doesn't happen here, and you know it. In fact, people regularly mock those who try to get it happen, so why would you use that circumstance as an example for success at anything?

quote:

Could it be because those who are interested in TPE want there to be other power coming forth from this dominant that would encompass something other than his "remodeling" of her for one specific purpose?

Of course it could. It could also be several other things.

< Message edited by Ialdabaoth -- 9/24/2008 2:55:09 PM >

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/24/2008 7:39:55 PM

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I find your photo examples interesting...It seems the further away from even like a person, the less human (and less 'womanly') (and I seriously mean no disrespect here), the more Dali-esque the better. This furthers my believes that you are less a dominate than a fetishist, which makes the more ‘equalizing’ part of the relationship more, in my opinion, justified. But, at the same time, your embracing of the grotesque I see as a major issue in finding a compatible partner. I am thinking you would definitely, as it as been suggested, better off spending more time in the high avant art scenes and less in BDSM (regardless if some of the clothing is the same).

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(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/25/2008 12:38:42 AM

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Joined: 6/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

I find your photo examples interesting...It seems the further away from even like a person, the less human (and less 'womanly') (and I seriously mean no disrespect here), the more Dali-esque the better. This furthers my believes that you are less a dominate than a fetishist, which makes the more ‘equalizing’ part of the relationship more, in my opinion, justified. But, at the same time, your embracing of the grotesque I see as a major issue in finding a compatible partner. I am thinking you would definitely, as it as been suggested, better off spending more time in the high avant art scenes and less in BDSM (regardless if some of the clothing is the same).

I think this is something to be seriously considered here.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/25/2008 2:11:05 AM

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Seriously,
NEVER EVER should one "lower their standards!!!"
To find the "one" you desire may seem like an eternity...however, once you do get what you're looking for, the happiness you feel will more than make up for all the time and disappointments.

Now then, seems to me that you are basically "fishing" for this enigma...or just attention deprived. Either way, if it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, smells like a duck......i call Bull$h*t!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really, what you need is to just GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!

Take care...

~punky~

*~Woman Is The Devil, God Is A Fraud~*
OTEP

< Message edited by PuNkYkAt -- 9/25/2008 2:48:46 AM >

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/25/2008 2:44:28 AM

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Joined: 8/23/2008
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**Applauds**
Atta girl!!!!

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/25/2008 2:17:02 PM

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From: Tempe, AZ
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You know, there are more civil ways of expressing one's disapproval.

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/25/2008 7:36:10 PM

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PuNkYkAt
To find the "one" you desire may seem like an eternity...however, once you do get what you're looking for, the happiness you feel will more than make up for all the time and disappointments.

Now then, seems to me that you are basically "fishing" for this enigma...or just attention deprived. Either way, if it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, smells like a duck......i call Bull$h*t!!!!!!!!!!!!
Really, what you need is to just GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!

If we are to take your logic at face value, the risk of potentially offending the odd preferences of some people on an online message board should seem an acceptable consequence of using the forums as a marketing venue to find this source of "happiness you feel" that "will more than make up for all the time and disappointments".

Of course, all this is assuming your senses (visual, aural and olfactory, as you pointed out) are even competently translating what you think is happening in this thread...

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to PuNkYkAt)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/26/2008 2:49:20 AM

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Joined: 6/11/2008
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I myself have a certain set of standards for I'm looking for in somebody, along with a list of things I'm not looking for.

Yes, I have to find somebody physically and mentally attractive. Perhaps I'm a bit shallow to a certain point even when it comes to physically appearence of somebody.

I really don't have any shame in admitting to this either.

However my standards have range and certain amount of depth to it, room for somebody to fit into.   Meaning, I knew and have known that there was realistic room to find or meet somebody.

I think most people even the OP has a little wiggle room in their set of standards. I myself have never been able to define the ultimate girl completely, why because there are a number of ultimate girl specifications I have going on. lol..

To the OP, just keep on looking and put yourself out there and start looking in other places too.   The notion of you spending time looking in the "high avant art scenes" as per LadyLupineNYC post is excellent advice.

Look for this girl in other places that she might be prone to be besides a friggen BDSM kinky adult dating site.   There are a lot of kinky girls out there into BDSM and D/s who would pull their hair out if they tried to use this site. It's a bit of a zoo, you know. That sort of sums up most dating sites anyways.

The girl I'm involved with actually found me. When I was least expecting it! She had responded to my profile out of the blue. Mind you this was after I put up a picture on my profile. She's only 3 hours away from me. Close by.   Anyways, I was in complete disbelief with more and more we talked and the pictures we exchanged.   Click Click Click, the mental and physical aspects were there, along with the Creative personality I was looking for. Things she's into and such. Wow, somebody I'm compatiable with. Sure there are a few differences here and there. Still none the less, I found myself pinching myself at times.

Amazing?? I don't know.   Anyhoo....

I did not lower my standards. I'm rather resolved to being alone and single compared to lowering my standards. I actually lowered my standards some when I got involved in my last real time short term relationship, it was a mistake!!!!

(in reply to DrkJourney)

RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/26/2008 12:31:48 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

.even giving him the benefit of the doubt and taking away 25% of what he says about NOT being interested in a long-term relationship and NOT wanting it to be a loving relationship (note that I did not say a "being in love" relationship),

We may be talking semantics, here. I never mentioned that I didn't want a long-term relationship, in fact I've specifically stated that I DO want/need this to be a long-term thing, just built on different foundations than your "typical" long-term relationship. And love? I have no problem loving or being loved. I just don't want that to have any bearing on the nature of the relationship. I want us to both be there because we like what we're getting out of it for ourselves, not because we "complete" each other in any arcane soulmate sort of way.

No one should enter into a relationship in which all the wanting/meeting of that wanting is solely one-sided. However, your original profile indicated that most of the work would be being done by the submissive and that said work would be centered around your desire for an objet d'arte. Now, the argument could be made that she would not be there if she did not want to be an objet d'arte but if that is all she wants, then I think that you would do better looking amongst those in the avant-garde art world, as has been suggested. Despite what has been said about TPE submissives, I see little here that resembles a TPE relationship.

quote:

quote:

he is still asking for a hell of a lot of submission to fulfill a fetish/obsession/desire. And his statement of attaining a specific goal with very defining characteristics, when taken along with his statements regarding relationships that involve loving and caring, certainly do not indicate that he would be there if an accident such as DES mentioned became fact.

Damn straight I am. And think about it this way - if I find someone that has that sort of drive and dedication to become what I want, and they have some sort of horrible mutilating accident, I will damn well find a way to keep utilizing them, if they're willing.

And this is the first time you have mentioned any sort of responsible domination...any other sort of domination at all...outside of your training and molding them into a specific object.

quote:

Example: While I find this girl hot, I find this girl infinitely hotter.

I'll chime in with the statement of "interesting choice of photos". I find appeal in the first and none at all in the second, which goes to show the truism of the old maxim of "different strokes for different folks".

And then let's go out on a limb and say that someone's body is damaged enough that they can't fulfill my desires anymore. Am I just going to walk away after a long and wonderful working relationship? No. Because I'm not an ass. Of course it will probably end the play relationship, in the same sense that when Weng Yan got paralyzed practicing for the Olympics in 2007, (or Sang Lan in 1998, for that matter) her gymnastics coach PROBABLY stopped working with her on her uneven bars. But I have a feeling they still talk and have a good respect for each other, even if he can't keep training her.

But will you be responsible for her care? Will you give her the relationship she might have had if not for being permanently injured by fulfilling your desire and...to be fair...her own inner need to submit to this type of domination/body sculpting? Or will you only be her friend, able to live with the fact that satisfaction of your desire led to another's permanent injury? Yes, the woman who submits to your training regimen and your sculpting is an adult, capable of walking away and another old saying is "Buyer...beware". But an old conservative type like me runs into a bit of thinking about the responsibilites I have in terms of what happens to another at my hands.

quote:

Why do you assume that just because I want something difficult, strenuous, and with harsh physical prerequisites, that I'm going to be a dick to people about it? I like people. And I value connections and relationships. I just also happen to need to do this, and I've been burned out of mixing my love with my kink so I'm trying to formulate a new, more rigidly defined set of goals and prerequisites. I'm always willing to accept that I'm doing it wrong (or I wouldn't be starting these threads), but if I'm going to be told that I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong, right down to choosing what to do in the first place, I'm going to need to establish some trust and some ground-work before I'm willing to take such criticism at face value. Does this make sense?
quote:

Perhaps I see you that way because, in my perception, that is how you presented yourself.

quote:

It's been noted on here that there are "probably" plenty of female submissives who are into TPE that would love this type of relationship and I have to ask: where are they, then?

Have you met SunnyFey yet? That's her, 3 or 4 posts up.

I've seen her posts. Sorry to sound so cynical but until the day you come on here and can state that she...or any other TPE submissive...has come to you and said "Sign me up AND now, let's do this. I am willing...", I'll continue to feel that way.

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quote:

Why has this dominant been bombarded on this post with those female submissives seeking him out?

I presume you intended a 'not' there, and I'll go out on a limb and say:

When have you ever seen a male dominant bombarded in a forum post by female submissives seeking him out? That doesn't happen here, and you know it. In fact, people regularly mock those who try to get it happen, so why would you use that circumstance as an example for success at anything?

quote:

Could it be because those who are interested in TPE want there to be other power coming forth from this dominant that would encompass something other than his "remodeling" of her for one specific purpose?

Of course it could. It could also be several other things.

No, I have not seen male dominants bombarded by posts to take them up on their ways but then, in all honesty, there have not been that many things proposed that are of this nature. And yes, it could be several other things...or it could be the thing I noted.

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

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