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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/26/2008 12:53:21 PM   
DrkJourney


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

You know, there are more civil ways of expressing one's disapproval.


and when did I express disapproval?

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/26/2008 1:00:51 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

You know, there are more civil ways of expressing one's disapproval.


and when did I express disapproval?

I don't believe he was referring to you.

I've been a bit confused by the way the bbcode on the site interprets the "Reply to" system that gets shown in the bottom right corner. Sometimes it appears to reference someone entirely different than who I intended (so I normally make a point to include quotes).


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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/26/2008 8:15:25 PM   
Ialdabaoth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've seen her posts.  Sorry to sound so cynical but until the day you come on here and can state that she...or any other TPE submissive...has come to you and said "Sign me up AND now, let's do this.  I am willing...", I'll continue to feel that way.


I think that's an unfair criterion. What you're basically saying is that I have to already be successful in order to have the right to think that I ever can be successful. That's a rather depressing way to think.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/27/2008 9:13:18 PM   
Sunnyfey


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've seen her posts.  Sorry to sound so cynical but until the day you come on here and can state that she...or any other TPE submissive...has come to you and said "Sign me up AND now, let's do this.  I am willing...", I'll continue to feel that way.





I still really dont see WHY its so hard to understand some women (and men) do like this sort of thing...Last time I checked it was called objectification. so why wouldent if I offered it to some subby boy I liked, who also liked objectification.......that he wouldent sign up quickly?

I mean....think about it, What is cross dressing anyway? and part of sissification? We make them look like girls, pretty girls,...we get artistic with it.

this is pretty much the same thing except with the reversed dynamic of Male Dom and fem sub.

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 9/27/2008 9:14:03 PM >

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 7:19:44 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've seen her posts.  Sorry to sound so cynical but until the day you come on here and can state that she...or any other TPE submissive...has come to you and said "Sign me up AND now, let's do this.  I am willing...", I'll continue to feel that way.





I still really dont see WHY its so hard to understand some women (and men) do like this sort of thing...Last time I checked it was called objectification. so why wouldent if I offered it to some subby boy I liked, who also liked objectification.......that he wouldent sign up quickly?

I mean....think about it, What is cross dressing anyway? and part of sissification? We make them look like girls, pretty girls,...we get artistic with it.

this is pretty much the same thing except with the reversed dynamic of Male Dom and fem sub.


I don't think objectification is hard to understand at all.  But generally, objectification takes place as part of an overall dynamic, not as the main center of the dynamic, nor the sole end goal of the dynamic.  Devotion of mass amounts of the submissive's time and effort through diet, exercise and yoga instruction, instruction in wearing the type of shoes he proposes, for one purpose is surely objectification...but there was no mention of any other portion of the dynamic in the original profile...but it is a very structured, very narrow D/s dynamic.

And again, call me cynical but until I see you or any other, self-identified, TPE submissive bombarding him with fervent pleas to take her and do this ALONE to her, with her...or see him come on and note that he has been successful at finding one...I'll harbor my doubts as to how many are out there that will fit his criterion AND want it done.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 8:26:48 AM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

And again, call me cynical but until I see you or any other, self-identified, TPE submissive bombarding him with fervent pleas to take her and do this ALONE to her, with her...or see him come on and note that he has been successful at finding one...I'll harbor my doubts as to how many are out there that will fit his criterion AND want it done.

Your one-dimensional strawman aside, are you suggesting that something is inherently negative just because of how few people may be inclined to participate in it?


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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 11:43:59 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

And again, call me cynical but until I see you or any other, self-identified, TPE submissive bombarding him with fervent pleas to take her and do this ALONE to her, with her...or see him come on and note that he has been successful at finding one...I'll harbor my doubts as to how many are out there that will fit his criterion AND want it done.

Your one-dimensional strawman aside, are you suggesting that something is inherently negative just because of how few people may be inclined to participate in it?

  Your liberal misdirection aside, I have not stated that anywhere on this thread.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 11:47:51 AM   
tweedydaddy


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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 11:50:35 AM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Your liberal misdirection aside, I have not stated that anywhere on this thread.


That may just be the reason I posed the question to you, and not a statement.

So, again...your appraisal of the likelihood of him finding what he seeks (and consequently of a sub enjoying the process of giving it to him) is not attached to whether you think his wishes are inherently negative, correct?

You are certainly not saying that he will not likely find it specifically because he should not (morally speaking) get to find it, right?


< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 9/29/2008 11:53:14 AM >

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 4:03:04 PM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
Your liberal misdirection aside, I have not stated that anywhere on this thread.


That may just be the reason I posed the question to you, and not a statement.

So, again...your appraisal of the likelihood of him finding what he seeks (and consequently of a sub enjoying the process of giving it to him) is not attached to whether you think his wishes are inherently negative, correct?
  You are correct...I see the likelihood as being slim to none.  The fact that I saw his original profile and desires in a negative fashion has little to do with whether or not anyone else would.  Though the fact that they are not rushing in to get to him would indicate a certain amount...no matter how slight that may be...of agreement with my negative assessment.  I am sure the reasons for the non-rush are quite varied though...

You are certainly not saying that he will not likely find it specifically because he should not (morally speaking) get to find it, right?



Much as I might like to step in and be able to stop someone from getting certain things...and discussion of those things would take a whole other thread and in fact, has been done here...I realize that for something like this, it is not up to me to decide whether or not he should get it.  In my own mind, yes, I have that right.  Whether or not I do...well, that's my business, isn't it?  And not something I have put out there for discussion.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 4:41:27 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've seen her posts.  Sorry to sound so cynical but until the day you come on here and can state that she...or any other TPE submissive...has come to you and said "Sign me up AND now, let's do this.  I am willing...", I'll continue to feel that way.


I still really dont see WHY its so hard to understand some women (and men) do like this sort of thing...Last time I checked it was called objectification. so why wouldent if I offered it to some subby boy I liked, who also liked objectification.......that he wouldent sign up quickly?

I mean....think about it, What is cross dressing anyway? and part of sissification? We make them look like girls, pretty girls,...we get artistic with it.

this is pretty much the same thing except with the reversed dynamic of Male Dom and fem sub.


I agree, except that most (if not all) women have had to deal with being objectified in real life and for many that association is very negative.  Let's face it, when someone confronts all that is -you- with the attitude that you are nothing more to them than an ass wiggle, you are not going to see that in a positive light - nor should you.

For boys who will be girls, a bit of objectification can make us feel wanted, special and desired.  We deal with trappings and surface qualities of clothing, makeup, and mannerisms to feel something that we don't have.  Most of us have no idea of what it is really like to -be- a female and live with objectification every day.

For the OP, I think this may be a long road to find that special girl who wants that sort of objectification put upon her.  My 2c...

< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/29/2008 4:44:54 PM >

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/29/2008 5:01:59 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Much as I might like to step in and be able to stop someone from getting certain things...and discussion of those things would take a whole other thread and in fact, has been done here...I realize that for something like this, it is not up to me to decide whether or not he should get it.  In my own mind, yes, I have that right.  Whether or not I do...well, that's my business, isn't it?  And not something I have put out there for discussion.

Fair enough.

But that should be coupled with the understanding that, even if you're trying to be objective, the tone of your responses is tinted with the hue of the personal moral critique you have painted (internally) upon his desires...and it is, at least mildly, evident.


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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 1:13:23 AM   
Sunnyfey


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From: OK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
And again, call me cynical but until I see you or any other, self-identified, TPE submissive bombarding him with fervent pleas to take her and do this ALONE to her, with her...or see him come on and note that he has been successful at finding one...I'll harbor my doubts as to how many are out there that will fit his criterion AND want it done.


this type of relationship is pretty much exactly what I am in now.  Master (known on here as Valarx) keeps me as his "doll". In other words he routinely takes me out clothes shopping, im only allowed to wear what he picks out.  I do my make up how he wants it done, i do my hair how he wants it done. He brushes and plays with my hair at least once a day. Currently though I haven't got up to the ballet boot thing yet, I am now up to walking around in six in heels without too much of a problem. (may not sound like much, but i used to be a waitress and from about age14-20ish i never wore anything higher then a 3 inch heel). My relationship status aside........

you seem to only be harping on the ballet boots/doll aspect of what Ialda wants in a relationship, when if you read his profile again...He mentions alot more then just that. You've got that whole "wall talker" thing down pat, in that your reiterating the same point over  and over again .

< Message edited by Sunnyfey -- 9/30/2008 1:16:01 AM >

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 4:25:24 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
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Status: offline 		Mind you, it made some changes to his profile after this post... 

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 7:02:51 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
And again, call me cynical but until I see you or any other, self-identified, TPE submissive bombarding him with fervent pleas to take her and do this ALONE to her, with her...or see him come on and note that he has been successful at finding one...I'll harbor my doubts as to how many are out there that will fit his criterion AND want it done.


this type of relationship is pretty much exactly what I am in now.  Master (known on here as Valarx) keeps me as his "doll". In other words he routinely takes me out clothes shopping, im only allowed to wear what he picks out.  I do my make up how he wants it done, i do my hair how he wants it done. He brushes and plays with my hair at least once a day. Currently though I haven't got up to the ballet boot thing yet, I am now up to walking around in six in heels without too much of a problem. (may not sound like much, but i used to be a waitress and from about age14-20ish i never wore anything higher then a 3 inch heel). My relationship status aside........

you seem to only be harping on the ballet boots/doll aspect of what Ialda wants in a relationship, when if you read his profile again...He mentions alot more then just that. You've got that whole "wall talker" thing down pat, in that your reiterating the same point over  and over again .


As Madame Lupine noted, changes in his profile have occurred since the original post and yes, he NOW mentions a lot more in his profile.  But at the time of the OP, he did not.  

As for your relationship, if all that is going on is objectification and you are O.K. with that, then good for you.  I have yet to state that it could NOT or that it should not be done, simply that I felt he would have a hard time finding someone who would find his ORIGINAL wants and desires as expressed in his ORIGINAL profile appealing as a viable relationship.  Apparently, according to his OP, he was indeed having that problem.

You note about my walking a wall and harping on the boots/ballet thing...when what I have stated is my opinion not about boots and ballet but rather about my belief that there are few submissives who would be willing to sign up for the relationship dynamic that the ORIGINAL profile requested.  I've noted your statement about doing so a few times but I haven't noticed any others.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 7:08:56 AM   
CreativeDominant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Much as I might like to step in and be able to stop someone from getting certain things...and discussion of those things would take a whole other thread and in fact, has been done here...I realize that for something like this, it is not up to me to decide whether or not he should get it.  In my own mind, yes, I have that right.  Whether or not I do...well, that's my business, isn't it?  And not something I have put out there for discussion.

Fair enough.

But that should be coupled with the understanding that, even if you're trying to be objective, the tone of your responses is tinted with the hue of the personal moral critique you have painted (internally) upon his desires...and it is, at least mildly, evident.



Fair enough.  But it should be noted that anyone's opinion...and I do mean anyone's...is colored with their own internal overview of things, whether they like it or not.  With those who feel that "anything goes as long as it feels right", that inner view comes out in their responses.  With those that feel that "not everything IS O.K.", that comes out in posts too.  Expecting 100 percent objectivity is, at best, an exercise in futility.

Nevertheless, my objectivity came into play when I stated what I stated in my original post...based on his ORIGINAL profile...when I stated that I felt he would have a hard time finding a submissive who would sign up for the dynamic as he presented it. But you are right...my feelings came into play when I stated that I could understand why a submissive would NOT want to sign up for what he was presenting.  ~shrugs~  go anywhere on these forum boards and see how many posts reflect total objectivity vs. injection of the poster's own feelings about the subject matter being discussed.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 7:10:06 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
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Status: offline 		Just my two cents...but relationships are a reality....some aspects of BDSM are not to be indiscriminatly applied to a relationship dynamic...the real time, 24 hour a day relationships that are successful are not based on a fantasy. i have had them...i have seen them.

Build a house in the sand...and see how fast it sinks.

peace
perse

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 8:42:04 AM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Mind you, it made some changes to his profile after this post... 


*nods* and I thank you all for the advice you provided that helped me do so.

Also: mind the pronouns, please.

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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 8:58:11 AM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

I'm going a little out of it lately. I can't seem to find *anyone* who's interested in the sorts of things I am, with me. However, I have found:

* 4 people who are exactly the body type and skills that I want, and into some of the same things I am, and kinky, and in committed non-poly relationships.
* 7 people who are exactly the body type and skills that I want, and into some of the same things I am, and kinky, and UTTERLY NOT INTERESTED EW EW EW.
* 20 or so people who are into the same things I am, and kinky, but I do not find them attractive.
* 5 people who are exactly the body type and skills that I want, and kinky, but not at ALL interested in the sort of things that I am.
* who knows how many hundreds of people who aren't into the skills that I want or kinky.
* who knows how many hundreds of people who I am not interested in for any reason.

Many people have given me the advice to "lower my standards". However, I'm not sure which of my standards I'm supposed to be lowering, here, or even how to go about that 'lowering' process. If they mean "find more people attractive", I'm not sure how to do that - I'm attracted to what I'm attracted to. If they mean "find more common kinks and skills and turn-ons", I'm not sure how to do that - my turn-ons are my turn-ons. If they mean "settle for something that you aren't attracted to or doesn't satisfy your kinks just so you can get your dick wet", then fuck them.

What is meant by 'lower your standards' and how do you even do that?
[/quote ]

There is absolutely no reason why you ever have to lower your standards, or what you desire. It may seem unrealistic to others, you may seem decidedly different ( I actually find difference unique).  Be who you are......celebrate it and if  your not intentionally harming anyone in the process then it's not really important what others think.
What you want isn't typical, and so yes your not going to find it easily.
What you seek is out there  it just may take you a tad longer to discover her. You may also find that when what you desire is discovered your view of what you need changes..........say that three times fast!

Good luck

scarlet



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RE: "Just lower your standards" - 9/30/2008 10:43:17 AM   
zakkan


Posts: 606
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		Some of the clothes look pretty good. You really can design these things... if those are designed by you... 

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