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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:40:11 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
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From: Nashville, TN
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Mystical Phoenix, I've been having the same type of questions regarding this poster, and then some. It appears to me as if he's really not submissive at all as everything he writes is all about him.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:51:46 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
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From: Arizona
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lokisgodhi

A domme should expect a lot. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to take long walks and watch the sunset with. She should expect that I believe that her fanny is the most adorable one in the universe and that I can't resist giving it a pat when I walk by even though I know It'll likely get me thrashed till I resemble the south end of a north bound zebra. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to see beside me the first thing when I wake up and that last thing before I go to sleep. She should expect that shes the only I want to look at me like a hungry tigress eyeing an unattended lamb. She should expect to be the only woman I want to come up with appropriate penalties that make directing sarcastic comments and using her as a straight man not nearly as much fun as it was when I thought of doing it.

She should not expect that I'm a walking atm machine or gift/service delivery service.

I have held My tongue until now. But this is one of the most arrogant posts I have read concerning this much bandied about subject.

My, don't you have stars in your eyes.

quote:

Submissives rarely ask for support form their dominant. But how many personal ads do you see has for 'generous' partners at least fifty percent if not more.

I beg to differ. But then you haven't been in My email box, or spent the same time on the telephone with "submissives" that I have. hmmmm...How does freebie instant gratification hit ya? "You're a Dominant. Here I am. Use me, use me!"

quote:

Well, so have many submissives. They don't expect to be rembursed for their interests. Well you're evidentally in for the gifts you can scam.

Who died and made you the ultimate authority on this subject? Since when don't submissives expect to be reimbursed for their interests? They may not get paid in dollars, but they certainly expect and (if they get lucky) receive their fetish driven gratification without investing any real emotion. Then they are on their merry way until it is convenient to "hook-up" the next time they are horny. I have interacted with too many who object even to buying their own dildo for intimate anal play. They expect Me to provide everything. After all, I am Dominant. I have an ad. I must be a horny slut who needs a body for a couple of hours of play.

quote:

MissSonnetMarwood "However, to be called a "scam artist" because I expect basic date etiquette and a little show of appreciation from a submissive? As if my goal of spending $10,000+ was designed to get guys to take me out and spend $100 on dinner. Ironic, really."

quote:

Consider it a welcome to the 21st century. Aren't you arrogant to expect vanilla dating etiquette should apply to to the scene. Yet another 'domme' who thinks that they're entitled to the priviledges of being a dominant but not having to take the responsibilities.

Yet another "boy" who expects the FemDom to do everything while he just lies back and takes it. Can you say "do me"?

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 1/27/2006 8:54:51 AM >

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:53:03 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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quote:

Mystical Phoenix, I've been having the same type of questions regarding this poster, and then some. It appears to me as if he's really not submissive at all as everything he writes is all about him.

He actually said in an earlier post that he's not submissive - as if we didn't figure that one out.

I seriously question how much he actually likes women, as apparently we're all whores for wnating anything out of an interaction of a man other than to follow his script AND buy him dinner. Expect the worst in people and undoubtably, that's what you'll find.

I still say he's just trying to justify being cheap ;-)

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 1/27/2006 8:57:03 AM >

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:56:47 AM

yourMissTress

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OOOPs! that's what I get for only scanning his posts after the first few...

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:58:24 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
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From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
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quote:

OOOPs! that's what I get for only scanning his posts after the first few...

LOL Truly, you did not miss anything.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 8:59:59 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
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quote:

LOL Truly, you did not miss anything.

heh heh heh, didn't think so...

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 9:04:53 AM

seaturtle50

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quote:

I will not allow anyone else, particularly not a submissive male, to tell me either to not pay the check or to pay the check-that's my decision

Very well said MysticalPhoenix! Inspiring!

seaturtle50

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 9:11:09 AM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
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quote:

Yet another "boy" who expects the FemDom to do everything while he just lies back and takes it. Can you say "do me"?

do Pro-Dommes offer a 50% off coupon for those who say "do me"?

LOL

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 9:48:41 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

quote:

Yet another "boy" who expects the FemDom to do everything while he just lies back and takes it. Can you say "do me"?

do Pro-Dommes offer a 50% off coupon for those who say "do me"?

LOL

*Smile* Now why would I ever offer a discount? I don't have end of the month sales. However, I do much appreciate the client who is honest, and willing to pay for his gratification. I think that boy is much more realistic than the ones who have tantrums because I am not available at their convenience for a freebie quickie!
Oh, I forgot...that makes Me a fake. *W*

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 1/27/2006 9:49:12 AM >

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 12:09:06 PM

MichMasochist

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In my daily life the burden of authority and responsiblity is always mine, while I've never dated a lifestyle domme, I feel it would be too humiliating both personally and in public to let a woman, vanilla or otherwise, to pay for my dinner or drinks. Maybe I'm old fasioned, or maybe I'm just an Alpha male who just likes to be dominated by a woman from time to time? But by the same token food cooked by a woman always tastes a whole lot better. I friend of mine told me he could never move into his girlfriends house "'cause that would make me the bitch" in the relationship, Quoting him. He wanted her to move into his place. His house his rules is what it really came down to.

However I hafta agree that I find those ladies who advertise for money slaves, domestic service slave are suspicious. But to each their own. Still it does feel like anyone expecting payment is trying to run a hustle of one kind or another. At the very least such a motive makes them less than a real or true domme and more something else.

Just that when the interaction is motivated by commerce then I find such things to be otherwise. An escort can be very loving and caring, very much so like a real girlfriend. A Pro can be very dominating, cruel, and merciless like a sadist. However they are both less than the roles they are acting out. One good thing about it is that when the lady makes me pay her, it gives me every reasonable expectation and right, to give her my script and to have it my ways. If on the other hand when a certain girlfriend who doesn't ask, or otherwise insist on monetary compensation, then she has every right to reasonably expect to get what she wants out of the enteraction as well.

Isn't talking wonderfull. With communication we can insure that each party gets something that they want out of a relationship. Win win scenario.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lokisgodhi

MsSonnetMarwood wrote:

"So when dating and courting a lifestyle Domme, you don't think it appropriate to take her out for drinks, dinner, buy her flowers, since that injects money/goods into the equation?"

What I think is that if anyone who should be buying drinks, dinner and gifts it ought to be the dominant. That's the problem with these scam artists they want all the power that goes with be a dominant but aren't willing to take on any of the responsibilities.

"Would you really get far dating a vanilla woman if you took this attitude? I don't think I ever went out on a vanilla date where the gent didn't pay or occasionally buy me small gifts."

A dominant should take on the responsibilities of being a dominant. If you want all the vanilla stuff then find yourself a master.

"If she's seeking a service sub who will run errands for you, then that's wrong as well since that's inserting services?

The seeking of a service sub, as know as a mark, is the epitome of evidence of being a scam artist.

"I can't say I'd spend much time with such an individual who expected to do nothing for me"

If feel the same way obout this scam artist dommes. They do as little as they can get away with and try to extract as much as they can in the form of money, gifts and/or service.

< Message edited by MichMasochist -- 1/27/2006 12:25:23 PM >

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 12:33:44 PM

michaelGA

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well, Ma'am...i'll make You a deal...if You fake You're spanking me, i'll fake being in pain...agreed? *GRIN*

LOL

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LOL

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 6:55:38 PM

MysticalPhoenix

Posts: 212
Joined: 11/30/2005
From: Kelloggsville, Vanilla County MI
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MichMasochist
However I hafta agree that I find those ladies who advertise for money slaves, domestic service slave are suspicious. But to each their own. Still it does feel like anyone expecting payment is trying to run a hustle of one kind or another. At the very least such a motive makes them less than a real or true domme and more something else.

I agree on the whole money slave thing. If you want a guy to give you his paycheck every two weeks and let you spend it, just marry a vanilla guy.

I am curious why people who seek domestic service slaves are suspicious to you.

I know I'm not the only woman on the forum who is into the whole 'manservant' scenario. How is that a hustle or a scam if all you expect of them is service, if you enjoy training them to perform said service, and if you provide them with all the things they need (including a butler's uniform-which ain't cheap as it's custom-made formal wear)in their role? And, allow them to live under your roof when their training is complete.

And although it's not something I've expressly solicited, but I have found one who truly enjoys serving and learning to serve, and I've had a number of offers, usually from guys who want to clean my house or wait on me and my friends in the nude.

From where I sit, that's not as expensive a proposition as a gigolo, but still it adds up over time. I've already spent almost a grand because I bought his plane ticket (he didn't ask, I decided to) a stack of reference books on the subject, and his training collar.

Among other things, I still need to have his uniform made, buy him a silver salver to serve me things on, and heaven knows what else I haven't thought of yet.

If domestic service slaves are supposed to be a hustle and a scam, I must be doing something wrong.

Phoenix

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 9:18:21 PM

Darklotus

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Well I have had a pro Dom or two in my past. Granted those were my friend b4 hand and I was single then..and Im currently undergoing consideration to one of my Mistress Friends. I like the prodom/mes because I wont have to think might do something sexual with them..its a very srict line we have No sexual contact..except a kiss or two. Im very happy with it, that way my vanilla love is happy because im not "cheating" on him. And I can still have my kink. We're all happy so far :) if its not broke dont fix it.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 10:21:46 PM

tiemeuptiemedown

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Pro subs? Where do I sign up?
But seriously; If I have to PAY for a Domme it defeats the whole purpose of what I am seeking which is an emotional relationship.
m

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/27/2006 11:07:28 PM

DarkDove

Posts: 20
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From: Tennessee
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Ok I have to clarify something from my previous post which is buried way back there somewhere. I said that I do not cater to my slaves and I don't they are here to serve me not the other way around. That got turned around to mean that I have broken the rule of mutual consent? I have never broken any hard limits and never will. I care very much for my slaves and am always considerate of their health and well being but they know coming into this that they will be expected to do what I want when I want within reason if it does not break a limit that was set or bring up a legitimate concern of health or saftey then they are expected to follow instruction without question.

I am not a ProDom but if I decide to become one then yes I would be expected to be paid for the services I offer. They provide a service just like anyone else why would you go to them if you have a problem with that or if you are looking for a relationship??

Now as for Money Dommes I dont see what your problem is with this either. It is a fetish just like any other. There are subs out there who are into financial slavery and consensual blackmail so what is the problem with a Domme participating in this fetish?

I am not personally into scat but you know what I dont judge those who are, to each his own we all have our kinks and our own styles. Its just a matter of being VERY CLEAR about what you seek and what you are willing to give. If you are honest you will find those who seek the same things you do. I have had no shortage of willing subsmissives and yes financial domination is one of my kinks but I do not expect financial servitude from every sub that serves me. It depends on the situation, the individual and what we mutually agree to and whatever that may be its of no concern to anyone else so long as it is consensual and none are being harmed.

Dove

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/28/2006 12:09:59 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

i notice for example that when i go to dinner with my Dad, he ALWAYS insists on paying. Even though i myself am an adult man, and quite capable of paying myself, and would enjoy treating him to a meal. We are already in a Dad/son relationship and i do not need to "court" him as a father. Yet, i can see that it is very much a control <likely a power> thing to him. Somehow to him, it is his duty, or responsibility to pay. Somehow to him i am not qualified to pay.

In some way - this is a part of the "structure" of our overall relationship.

I only mention this as it speaks specifically to the power exchange aspect in a relationship, as in my question. My Father is in fact, being Dominant over me, and i submissive in allowing him to pay <Damn, i hope this does not signal any Freudian teachings> It even feels that way, if i bother to "feel" my feelings at the time. So ... in a D/s relationship, why would i not feel empowered by paying (or even more accurately - by being expected to pay) as the submissive male?

Perhaps he insists on paying because he’s your father – and most fathers (and mothers) typically take care of their young. You don’t stop being his child simply because you’ve grown up.

After having learned the value of a dollar I find myself more willing to treat family and friends to meals – or little treats like ice cream or candy. I'm showing the other person that I appreciate their time, friendship, companionship, etc.

When my mom and I are out doing things together I’m usually compelled to purchase lunch for a variety of reasons – none of which have anything to do with Domme-ing my mother.

I pay because I worry about her finances. I pay because I respect her time and her companionship. I pay because I care about her. I don’t pay to be in control. I pay because I feel it’s the NICE thing to do.

She gives in because she knows I’m quite possibly one of the most stubborn people she’s ever encountered. She gives in because she knows I’m happier when she does. She doesn’t give in because she thinks it’s my duty – or that I’m more qualified.

And the same goes when she’s paying for something. She knows I don’t expect her to pay just because she’s my mother. She does it because she cares. She does it because she wants to make sure I’ve eaten something that day.

If someone invites me somewhere to get a bite to eat – or to go to a movie – or to see a play... the person is indicating a level of interest in me. Classic courtship of another depicts the interested individual as the person who pays for the dinner or movie. They are indicating that they value the companionship and the time of the other. There is no power play. There are no D/s dynamics. There’s nothing but a simple show of interest.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/29/2006 12:14:01 AM

CuriousPuppy

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I agree with some of what lokisgodhi, MichMasochist, and a few others have said with regards to people stating that they want "tribute" and other such things. Perhaps the fact that I've legitimately seen more porn and adult websites while working (as part of work) than most people will ever see causes me to automatically filter out a lot of those folks without so much as a second thought. Anyone with a personal ad listing things like "tribute" and "generous submissives", along with a whole buch of other things, tends to make warning bells go off in my head.

I've met and talked to a handful of people from CM and similar things. Out of the ones that set off a warning bell when I talked to them, all of them turned out to be deserving of that hesitation. Out of the ones who did not, we generally got along great and had a good time together even if things never went much beyond going out for coffee and such. Do I consider paying for coffee, lunch, or even a movie or something to be a problem for a first meeting? Of course not, but I find most people will put up a fight/offer to pay for their own cup of coffee when you offer. Do I consider paying $100+ for dinner with someone I've just met to be a bit much? Hell yes I do... anyone who thinks otherwise should wonder what a girl in a vanilla relationship would think if some guy she just met did something similar.

I'm looking for a relationship, I'm quite happy if that relationship turns out to be just friends. If I find a relationship, great... if I don't, then I'll keep looking, because I'm certainly not desperate. I've been contacted one too many times by people I had a nice conversation and seemed to get along well with only to have them tell me what their rates were when I asked if the might want to meet for coffee or similar. Get burned enough times that way, and you start to avoid situations that look like they will burn you in similar ways.

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/29/2006 2:51:03 PM

kc692

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

quote:

ORIGINAL: lokisgodhi

A domme should expect a lot. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to take long walks and watch the sunset with. She should expect that I believe that her fanny is the most adorable one in the universe and that I can't resist giving it a pat when I walk by even though I know It'll likely get me thrashed till I resemble the south end of a north bound zebra. She should expect that she's the only woman I want to see beside me the first thing when I wake up and that last thing before I go to sleep. She should expect that shes the only I want to look at me like a hungry tigress eyeing an unattended lamb. She should expect to be the only woman I want to come up with appropriate penalties that make directing sarcastic comments and using her as a straight man not nearly as much fun as it was when I thought of doing it.

She should not expect that I'm a walking atm machine or gift/service delivery service.

I have held My tongue until now. But this is one of the most arrogant posts I have read concerning this much bandied about subject.

My, don't you have stars in your eyes.

quote:

Submissives rarely ask for support form their dominant. But how many personal ads do you see has for 'generous' partners at least fifty percent if not more.

I beg to differ. But then you haven't been in My email box, or spent the same time on the telephone with "submissives" that I have. hmmmm...How does freebie instant gratification hit ya? "You're a Dominant. Here I am. Use me, use me!"

quote:

Well, so have many submissives. They don't expect to be rembursed for their interests. Well you're evidentally in for the gifts you can scam.

Who died and made you the ultimate authority on this subject? Since when don't submissives expect to be reimbursed for their interests? They may not get paid in dollars, but they certainly expect and (if they get lucky) receive their fetish driven gratification without investing any real emotion. Then they are on their merry way until it is convenient to "hook-up" the next time they are horny. I have interacted with too many who object even to buying their own dildo for intimate anal play. They expect Me to provide everything. After all, I am Dominant. I have an ad. I must be a horny slut who needs a body for a couple of hours of play.

quote:

MissSonnetMarwood "However, to be called a "scam artist" because I expect basic date etiquette and a little show of appreciation from a submissive? As if my goal of spending $10,000+ was designed to get guys to take me out and spend $100 on dinner. Ironic, really."

quote:

Consider it a welcome to the 21st century. Aren't you arrogant to expect vanilla dating etiquette should apply to to the scene. Yet another 'domme' who thinks that they're entitled to the priviledges of being a dominant but not having to take the responsibilities.

Yet another "boy" who expects the FemDom to do everything while he just lies back and takes it. Can you say "do me"?

**Applauds loudly !!!!!**** You way of wording thoughts when incensed is so much more coherent than mine!! All I wanted to reply to him was blah, blah, blah, do me do me , blah , blah, blah...cuz that's all I read.....

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/29/2006 5:28:44 PM

lonewolfe

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:)

Must be doing something

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RE: Does tribute equal being a hooker? - 1/30/2006 2:35:12 AM

lokisgodhi

Posts: 69
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JohnWarren wrote:

"There's a word for a dominant who doesn't take the submissive's needs into consideration: Alone"

Eventually perhaps. But you can go through a lot of people before you get that well deserved reputation.

When I was running the submissive men's group at TES in the mid 1990s I talked to a lot of men who had bad experiences with the same people before the perp got a well deserved reputation. Plus if you're a member of the right group you can get away with a lot more because your friends cover for you.

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