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RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:37:11 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Classy...I would think someone with an IQ that...um...'high'...and your 'dominate' nature you could control your baser emotions. LL- who ‘gets it’; she has a REALLY submissive submissive… *rolls eyes*

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:38:44 PM

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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Who knows? Maybe they're not submissive. Maybe they are, but have been treated poorly and are being careful. Maybe they get so many gazillion emails from others on this site that they are trying to ward off those that just want wanking material. Maybe....anything, really. Submitting to someone is a pretty big deal to me. Right now, I own myself, and I plan to be very careful about where I put my energies and who I submit to.

Some submissives are submissive to everyone, some are submissive to only one, and then there's everything in between. No one here can give you a definitive answer to your question about unknown people on the other side of this site. If it helps, consider this - there are probably a myriad of submissives who are frustrated with the kinds of dominants there, just as you are frustrated with the kinds of submissives you are seeing at there. Roll with it and keep going. Creating a post to complain about it and then getting uptight at those who answer isn't going to help your frustration any, in my opinion.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:38:52 PM

Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

quote:

I think you misunderstand me. I'm not talking about, as soon as I contact someone having them bow and scrape. That is ok to a point if the sub wants it, but I'm talking about what these girls talk about on their profile and in mail corespondance.

I read your original post. You complained that submissive put in their profile that they will NOT be doormats. You say that they have stated in advance in their profiles that they will not obey and do "the most basic submissive acts" IF and WHEN they have a Dominant. Since I know of no basic submissive acts, for clarity perhaps it would be best to enlighten your readers as to what acts we are discussing so that we know exactly what your post is talking about. Until I know what we are discussing, there is little sense in responding.

Very well.
Basic submission:
A submissive is respectful to her Dom.
A submissive obeys her Dom, and if she has a difference in opinion, will speak this in a respectful way. In the end though, she submits to her Dom's will because she trusts him to make the right choice, even if she doesn't agree.
A submissive keeps her body available for her Dom except under situations of extreme stress where a good Dom wouldn't ask her to do anything anyway.

Now of course, this differs from person to person just how extreme this is, but let's face it. Being a submissive means that you long to submit to your Dom. It means that the thought of pleasing him makes you happy. When he say's "good girl", your heart flutters. This is an attitude more then an action. A person with this attitude doesn't consider the previous things as "being a doormat", she considers them as normal submissive behavior.
~Aslanemperor

(in reply to peppermint)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:40:57 PM

Posts: 5159
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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I have never seen a submissive profile where they say they will have no respect for the Dom. I have never seen a profile that says the submissive would never obey the Dom if there was a difference of opinion. I am sure there are submissives who have "no sex" in the profile as some relationships do not include sex....so there seems to be nothing wrong with that being stated in advance. I have never seen a profile that states that the submissive will only have sex when and if the submissive feels like it.

So...other than the no sex complaint.....there doesn't seem to be much substance in your complaint....in my opinion.

< Message edited by peppermint -- 10/1/2008 7:51:39 PM >

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:41:04 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/27/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

hmmm... Well maybe it will lead to some angry sex though, right?

Ah.... angry sex.... very nice.... slave asked "you would have sex with me if you were angry at me?" Response "Yes, I would. Even better if you were angry at Me.... nothing puts you in your place faster than being required to have sex with the One you are angry at."

< Message edited by MasterJFrancis -- 10/1/2008 7:42:00 PM >

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:41:13 PM

Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: giveeverything

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Well..... wipes brow...... do you really wonder why nobody will bow down and kiss your feet. I don't submit to angry men.... meh, but that's just me.

Who said I was angry? I'm simply making the text bigger so that people can read it better. I figured that maybe she was having problems seeing the letters. I'm trying to believe that she's not just an idiot.
~Aslanemperor

(in reply to giveeverything)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:42:26 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Assuming your 'definition of basic submission', this is not the definition of interactions with strangers. Once someone is actually in some sort of relationship, THEN that is the time to look for this set of behaviors. In the meantime, if they are not attached to you, you have no right to judge.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:43:01 PM

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

So I've been asking myself this, and it's plagueing me. Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"?

Everyone has their own interpretation of what a doormat is. You would really have to talk to the person to find out what they mean by it.

quote:

I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat.

Again, "basic submissve act" is subjective. Maybe to you act A is basic submission, but to the submissive in question it's a hard limit.

quote:

They won't obey a Dom, because this is being a doormat.

Are you exagerating? Did a sub really say to you that she equates obeying her dom to being a doormat?

quote:

They won't speak respectfully to their Dom because this is being a doormat!

To "their" dom, or to a dom who addresses them online?

quote:

You have to be submissive to be a submissive.

This is wrong, because you, me, the man in the moon, don't get to decide what submission means to everyone else. You have to be exactly who you are. And you have to seek people who appreciate that, whatever it may be---doms, subs and everything in between.

quote:

I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.

Some might consider this comment not becoming of a dominant. Doms are supposed to act like doms, right?

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:43:46 PM

Posts: 348
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: giveeverything

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Well..... wipes brow...... do you really wonder why nobody will bow down and kiss your feet. I don't submit to angry men.... meh, but that's just me.

Who said I was angry? I'm simply making the text bigger so that people can read it better. I figured that maybe she was having problems seeing the letters. I'm trying to believe that she's not just an idiot.
~Aslanemperor

I don't know about anyone else but I'm having a hard time figuring out why a catch like you is still single.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:44:43 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Who said I was angry? I'm simply making the text bigger so that people can read it better. I figured that maybe she was having problems seeing the letters. I'm trying to believe that she's not just an idiot.
~Aslanemperor

Oh, I see...so you are just going to treat her that way. No one is fooled by this BS answer of yours.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:46:53 PM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Okay, see...screaming does not remotely exemplify a calm, controlled interest in furthering the understanding of the posters and/or replies.

The value of your point is getting lost in your impatience and subsequent reaction(s).

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:47:29 PM

Monkeyontuesday

Posts: 357
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline

Re: "A submissive is respectful to her Dom.
A submissive obeys her Dom, and if she has a difference in opinion, will speak this in a respectful way."

If a man refuses to be respectful to me, he therefore forfeits his respect FROM me... Then I rip him to pieces and tell him not to let the door hit him on the way out.

"A submissive keeps her body available for her Dom "
I disagree with this as well. I'm a full time student and full time worker in a restaurant. I work weekends. That means I walk for 40 hours in three days, usually without a break. If I have, say, reading due my "Dom" doesn't think is important, I'm still not stopping what I'm doing to pleasure him. Nor, if after a 16 hour shift, he feels like "playing" and I need to be at work in 8 hours will I participate.

I tend to be a bit jaded after putting myself in bad situations and getting the "short end of the stick", but with or without that person, I still have MY life and I need to take care of myself.

I guess that makes me bratty and a fake submissive.

_____________________________

Make no little plans. There is no magic in them to stir men's blood.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:48:06 PM

Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline

Ash.....as a submissive, I actually had the term "not a doormat" in my profile at one time, and I continue to stress that when engaging in conversation with other doms. So, let me try to shed a bit of light on the whole issue, k? At least from my point of view...others may and will feel differently.

When I stated that I was not a doormat, I meant it in the context of having a mind, and opinions, and the fact that while I will submit freely in every way to the one I choose to do so, I also have the expectation that I will NOT be simply stepped all over by said dom. I fully expect to be able to express myself at any time to said dom, no matter what the issue is. Of course, it is a given that it is done within the rules of our relationship, and with the knowledge that he will still have the final say, but if I am not allowed to let my thoughts known, then the realationship is doomed from the start. Contrary to what some folks think, the relationship is a two way street, and if a dom wants a happy sub, one willing to serve him in every way he wants, then he also has to be willing to listen to said sub. OK, well, at least that is my thinking on the subject.....and haven't had any issues over it with the doms that I have interacted with. Quite the contrary, a few have actually welcomed and encouraged conversations concerning this matter.

Just my .05 worth.....

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:49:02 PM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Who said I was angry? I'm simply making the text bigger so that people can read it better. I figured that maybe she was having problems seeing the letters. I'm trying to believe that she's not just an idiot.
~Aslanemperor

And I'm trying not to believe that the dismissive original responses to your post were entirely appropriate, despite your flat-out inability to retain a respectful demeanor.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 10/1/2008 7:54:39 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:49:05 PM

Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2005
Status: offline

This is just a thought I suddenly had...
I made it pretty clear in my wording what I was talking about. But rather then reading it, the first person responded on what they THOUGHT I had said. As a result, others read what that person thought I had said and this big debate on how to contact subs ensued.
When I finally try to bring things back on track, it's suddenly a tirade about how I'm an "angry dom". Ya know, I know I'm a little crazy. I've come to like that part of me. I know that sometimes I'm misunderstood, especially because sometimes things that I say don't come out the way I want them to. But in this situation, things came out right, people just didn't want to pay attention.
Why is it that people can't just read what's said? Why must there be this whole discussion on another topic.
For that matter, why do you think I'm writing just to complain. I'm here to muse. I'm here to share oppinions and discuss thoughts. This is not complaining, it's called discussion.
~Aslanemperor

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:49:29 PM

Posts: 263
Joined: 7/3/2008
From: DC metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

Very well.
Basic submission:
A submissive is respectful to her Dom.
A submissive obeys her Dom, and if she has a difference in opinion, will speak this in a respectful way. In the end though, she submits to her Dom's will because she trusts him to make the right choice, even if she doesn't agree.
A submissive keeps her body available for her Dom except under situations of extreme stress where a good Dom wouldn't ask her to do anything anyway.

Now of course, this differs from person to person just how extreme this is, but let's face it. Being a submissive means that you long to submit to your Dom. It means that the thought of pleasing him makes you happy. When he say's "good girl", your heart flutters. This is an attitude more then an action. A person with this attitude doesn't consider the previous things as "being a doormat", she considers them as normal submissive behavior.
~Aslanemperor

Okay, you have given a very good description of what the ideal submissive is to you. There are probably quite a few Doms out there that would agree with you, that this is the kind of submissive they seek as well.

The only problem is that this is not the only kind of submissive you will find on this website. And the submissives who don't fit your criteria aren't necessarily "bad" or "unworthy" submissives, they just don't fit your criteria.

Keep looking until you find one who does meet your expectations, and don't fret about the ones who don't. They may be perfect for another Dom.

_____________________________

"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For this reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:50:00 PM

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: giveeverything

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Well my profile says I am not a doormat and dont wish to be a slave. So whats wrong with that? Perhaps if that is not what you want you should seek a sub that doesnt express herself that way on her profile. really its quite simple.

Can you read? Why even bother responding if you're going to say things like this that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand. As I said, WE AREN'T DISCUSSING CONTACTING SUBMISSIVES! WE'RE DISCUSSING SO CALLED SUBMISSIVE'S PROFILES!
Did you get it now?

Well..... wipes brow...... do you really wonder why nobody will bow down and kiss your feet. I don't submit to angry men.... meh, but that's just me.

Who said I was angry? I'm simply making the text bigger so that people can read it better. I figured that maybe she was having problems seeing the letters. I'm trying to believe that she's not just an idiot.
~Aslanemperor

Don't worry. Your post is understood. It's that "Doormat" is a touchy subject and a lot of so-called submissives don't quite get it. The amusing part here is the part that infers being a slave is a being a doormat; I have seen that inference by ignorant people on both sides of the aisle. Dominants that try to convince a slave that she should really give up wanting to be a slave and be a submissive instead, because in their opinion she has a brain and should not be a doormat.

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:51:13 PM

cpK69

Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aslanemperor

So I've been asking myself this, and it's plagueing me. Why is this site full of "submissives" who put stuff in their profile like, "I'm submissive, but I'm not a doormat!"? I hear this, and then I talk to them only to find that the most basic of submissive acts is considered being a doormat.

To elicit conversation?

quote:

You have to be submissive to be a submissive. I'm starting to think these girls only say they're submissive because they're to lazy to get on top and ride their Dom like a good little slut.

What do you other Doms and subs think?

I think you might be confused as to which kind of animal you wish to hunt.

Kim

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:52:58 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I read what you said, and considering who unclear you are, your temper (who the hell 'yells' with written word, anyway?). I read (regardless of what you seem to think about others IQ on here) your further posts and you are in the 'wrong' here. This just smacks as yet another 'woe is me, I can't find anyone who isn't fake' post.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Aslanemperor)

RE: Where are the submissive submissives? - 10/1/2008 7:53:38 PM

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJFrancis

Your post is understood. It's that "Doormat" is a touchy subject and a lot of so-called submissives don't quite get it.

And usefully back to the point...

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MasterJFrancis)

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