Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Subs Who Meet Too Quickly...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 7:53:39 PM   
MasterSteve57


Posts: 28
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline 		When I chatted via phone with a new sub acquintance, I asked if she would like to meet for dinner some evening, she paused and seemed to balk. When I switched my approach and invited her to meet for a scene at a local hotel she jumped at the chance.

When we entered the hotel room I said "Here you are in a hotel room with a complete stranger. You're very lucky I'm a nice guy!"

It never ceases to amaze me how careless some subs can be and that goes double in a bdsm world that involves bondage. Fifteen minutes after arriving I had her handcuffed (with police issue cuffs), gagged and completely at my mercy. 

She hadn't arranged a safe call and when I instructed her to use a safe word should she become uncomfortable with anything I do - she shrugged her shoulders as if she couldn't care less.

Even as a DOM I sometimes feel uncomfortable traveling to meet sub women. But subs should be even more careful given the nature of the game...



Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 7:58:43 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Some people are attracted to danger, perhaps she is one of them.  

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 8:16:28 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Some people don't value themselves either.  No self worth=no self esteem.  Do with me as you'd like types.

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 9:05:46 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		take it for what it's worth, but you accepted the behavior. 



_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 9:30:55 PM   
winoverme


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/26/2006
From: Montreal
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

Some people don't value themselves either.  No self worth=no self esteem.  Do with me as you'd like types.

quote:

Some people don't value themselves either. No self worth=no self esteem. Do with me as you'd like types.


Perhaps that girl needed to feel she was REALLY getting into slight trouble? The fact that she jumped at the occasion to meet at the hotel proves to me that she was expecting chills and thrills...Perhaps this remark about a safe word just destroyed the magic for her...You always prefer to think that the situation you're in is real, not fake...At least, its fun to be able to keep that illusion..If i had been a dominant, i would have done lightly with her at first...Then i would have increased the pain or difficulty by degree, waiting for a sign from her..By going lightly, you are not too fast and if she can get more, she will tell you probably...In my opinion, she expected to be dominated...She didn't think of it as a game...

_____________________________

Being humiliated, belittled and taken advantage of makes me feel worthy, useful and honored. I would like to meet the right kind of Mistress that would see the advantages of having at her feet a proud natural born submissive.

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 9:38:40 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteve57
When we entered the hotel room I said "Here you are in a hotel room with a complete stranger. You're very lucky I'm a nice guy!"


And you were very lucky that she was a "nice girl" and didn't have two big burly guys waiting to jump you.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/6/2008 9:46:51 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		MS, You should consider yourself fortunate as well. Although you were eventually in control, you weren't when she first arrived (I assume).... thus she could have pulled some looney tune act and then where would you be. I agree with you in that she was foolish to meet a stranger in a motel room... however, You were just as foolish. It doesn't matter if one is a D-type or S-type, taking the proper precautions for a first time meet is essential. Be well and be safe out there.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 4:24:57 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I am pretty sure there will be many dominants who think you are one lucky person for having had this opportunity...I can't recall you saying no to her and leaving if you thought she was so careless so what does it say about you that you stayed and then posted this thread? 

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 4:35:43 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteve57

When I chatted via phone with a new sub acquintance, I asked if she would like to meet for dinner some evening, she paused and seemed to balk. When I switched my approach and invited her to meet for a scene at a local hotel she jumped at the chance.

When we entered the hotel room I said "Here you are in a hotel room with a complete stranger. You're very lucky I'm a nice guy!"

It never ceases to amaze me how careless some subs can be and that goes double in a bdsm world that involves bondage. Fifteen minutes after arriving I had her handcuffed (with police issue cuffs), gagged and completely at my mercy. 

She hadn't arranged a safe call and when I instructed her to use a safe word should she become uncomfortable with anything I do - she shrugged her shoulders as if she couldn't care less.

Even as a DOM I sometimes feel uncomfortable traveling to meet sub women. But subs should be even more careful given the nature of the game...






...*perse doing her best Dom impersonation...*..."So I towered over her helpless form as she knelt...handcuffed and gagged...and i lectured her on safety for 15 minutes. I told her that she was to stand up and turn around. I took off the cuffs and gag. As she turned to me, confused, tears welling in her eyes, I told her that we needed to get to know eachother as people before I anally violated her and called her a slut. I waited as she dressed....I, of course, never undressed, as I had quickly decided that this was not the person I wanted to spend the rest of my days with and therefore was not going to use sexually and then abandon, like so much submissive garbage on the side of the road. We left the room unused and went to the restaurant and discussed her future behavior over jalapeno poppers and root beer."

~FIN!~

i dont mean to interrupt and insert my version of how this went, but if youre going to post about some people and their choices in life....try to live yours as an example.

peace and perspective,

perse

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 4:38:29 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		What makes you think you were not the one being....careless?
 
Wiat till you meet a psyco bitch... alone in a hotel room without a safe eee pooo calll =L=

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 5:09:59 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Well, I for one can't see how you acted badly and I especially don't see why it was somehow wrong of you to write this post.  I had a message from a twenty-year-old Domme on Friday who said she was in the area and wanted to meet that night.  It was midnight when she sent the message. 

I was astonished.  We never met - she didn't respond to a message I sent in reply containing my mobile number.  As it turned out, she was probably a fake and a scam artist.  But, at the time, my overriding thought was "What the hell is the matter with you?  I could be any kind of a psycho!"  I have a sister that age and I often worry about her in the same way.

I think the warning you posted here can't be repeated often enough, Steve.

(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 5:57:17 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		No, the warning is a good one....peon. That isnt my issue. my issue with the post is that, as the dominant in that situation, as the person in control of that scene, he had the power to stop her behavior, affect a positive change in this strangers life...and instead he chose to come. Well, welcome to the jungle. Dont judge the girl and not the guy. As guilty as she was for not taking measures (and we dont know that she didnt)...he was just as guilty for seeing a vulnerability and taking advantage of it...which i suppose happens every day, im not blind to the way of the world. But he posted it as if he had done the right thing, the chivalrous thing, in response. He most decidedly did not.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 5:57:56 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

take it for what it's worth, but you accepted the behavior.


This struck me as well.  He's complaining that although he set up the meeting, he felt it was inappropriate of her to participate.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Quivver)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 6:18:11 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		On a lighter note - imagine my confusion of feelings at this (as I then thought) twenty-year-old Domme contacting me for an instant meet.  There I was, wanting to be respectful on the one hand, but on the other, wanting to tell her off like she was my "little sister".  I actually ended up feeling glad that "she" (assuming it was a she) was a fake.  A headache.  I don't expect it'll be the last time it happens, either.

(in reply to persephonee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 6:27:35 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline 		yeah...ya gotta watch out for yourself. Rule of thumb...strange propositions at midnight and unsolicited...equals scam.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 6:40:22 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Maybe she was really hoping you'd bring your teddy bear.

On a serious note...why were you the one to ask to meet in a hotel room and play if you thought that was reckless?  I've met, been bound and gagged and had all kinds of other stuff done to me on first meets.  I was not reckless.  I did not agree to do that with anyone who asked...only with those I had an attraction to and had gut instincts about .  It was not a self esteem issue for me.  It was purely a thrill issue.  I loved that intense feeling that it could be dangerous.  I had a line that I didn't cross.  If I had any flags as to my ultimate safety then I passed on a meeting.  I only took that fantasy thrill so far.  

You are the pot calling the kettle black. 

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 10/7/2008 6:45:27 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 7:37:49 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteve57
When we entered the hotel room I said "Here you are in a hotel room with a complete stranger. You're very lucky I'm a nice guy!"


And you were very lucky that she was a "nice girl" and didn't have two big burly guys waiting to jump you.


Cali



I thought of this, too.

When I first met the man I'm currently seeing, he said, "Hmm, how do I know you're not packing?" (he knows I have a hand gun). I grinned and said, "You don't."

Trust and psychosis work in both directions.

Having said that, I relate to what Aileen said, too. With a good gut instinct, there is something to be said for seizing life by the horns and enjoying the thrill. I would not do that with anyone, but certainly would with someone I had a good feeling about.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 8:01:57 AM   
JumpingJax


Posts: 155
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Why would anyone want to sleep someone who's instinct is to skip dinner and go right to the hotel for a first time meeting. Protection or no protection - why go near that thing.

I know I know - don't judge.... Your disease is your disease and that's Ok and all.....



(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 8:07:38 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		So, you participated in exactly what you rail against. 

If this is how you really feel, perhaps you should live it.

_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to MasterSteve57)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/7/2008 12:14:38 PM   
bipolarber


Posts: 2792
Joined: 9/25/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe she didn't want to be seen in public...it might get back to her husband or bf....  But a meeting with you in a private space would have been okay... low risk to her reputation.

(in reply to JumpingJax)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094