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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/8/2008 3:48:14 PM

tweedydaddy

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To be frank, I think you were both in a potentially dodgy scenario.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/8/2008 5:16:28 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

take it for what it's worth, but you accepted the behavior.

i agree - so why are you complaining now, OP?

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/8/2008 8:07:53 PM

VivaciousSub

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I'm not sure I would be so proud of yourself, OP - it's like you're saying "Look! She put herself in a position to be seriously taken advantage of! So...I did!"

If you believed she was acting in a dangerous manner, then why the hell did you choose to participate then complain later??

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:16:19 AM

sailorfrank

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I am puzzled why you didnt talk with her more on the phone and discuss the safety issues with her before meeting? After all anyone would do that to insure the safety of both partys.

Meeting first in a public area is always the better idea...IE Coffee shop, shopping mall. Never ever! Meet a person for the first time in private as it could be very bad for both involved!

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:24:07 AM

Lordandmaster

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The next time you're in such a situation and don't know how to handle it, just let me know. I'll be glad to take over.

Besides...she wasn't in as much danger as you seem to think. If anything happened to her in that hotel room, you'd be in deep shit. There was obviously a phone record tying you to her, and I bet there's more documentation, too. The police know how to investigate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteve57

When I chatted via phone with a new sub acquintance, I asked if she would like to meet for dinner some evening, she paused and seemed to balk. When I switched my approach and invited her to meet for a scene at a local hotel she jumped at the chance.

When we entered the hotel room I said "Here you are in a hotel room with a complete stranger. You're very lucky I'm a nice guy!"

It never ceases to amaze me how careless some subs can be and that goes double in a bdsm world that involves bondage. Fifteen minutes after arriving I had her handcuffed (with police issue cuffs), gagged and completely at my mercy.

She hadn't arranged a safe call and when I instructed her to use a safe word should she become uncomfortable with anything I do - she shrugged her shoulders as if she couldn't care less.

Even as a DOM I sometimes feel uncomfortable traveling to meet sub women. But subs should be even more careful given the nature of the game...

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:29:52 AM

JumpingJax

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Besides...she wasn't in as much danger as you seem to think. If anything happened to her in that hotel room, you'd be in deep shit. There was obviously a phone record tying you to her, and I bet there's more documentation, too. The police know how to investigate.

Think that is only on TV.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:36:16 AM

Lordandmaster

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No, it's not only on TV.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 11:08:35 AM

IrishMist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JumpingJax

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Besides...she wasn't in as much danger as you seem to think. If anything happened to her in that hotel room, you'd be in deep shit. There was obviously a phone record tying you to her, and I bet there's more documentation, too. The police know how to investigate.

Think that is only on TV.

/snort
As LaM said, it's not only on TV

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 12:44:00 PM

DesFIP

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Who says she didn't tell someone where she was and who she was with?
The fantasy of nobody knowing may have appealed to her so much that she didn't want to tell you what safety measures she had taken. Hell, for all you know, her husband may have been in the next room listening in.

I'm curious as to why you didn't ask her why she wouldn't be seen with you in public. Unless you were afraid of the answer?

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 6:22:32 PM

elleRT

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Respectfully I do not agree with your statement: "Besides...she wasn't in as much danger as you seem to think. If anything happened to her in that hotel room, you'd be in deep shit. There was obviously a phone record tying you to her, and I bet there's more documentation, too. The police know how to investigate. "

Many have this misconception that taking precautions would keep you safe. Like having safe calls, safe words, telling someone where you will be, blah blah blah. This does not ensure 100% safety, it only increases the level of it. The person you are with, can still go nuts and hurt you, or even kill you. Yes he will be caught, and yes the police can investigate, but the point here is to NOT GET HURT. After the fact is kinda pointless, yes the person would be found and charged but you are still hurt or dead.

I am not trying to discourage anyone of meeting the first time, or not attempt to find who they seek. It should never be in a private setting though, that was extremely foolish. The first few meets must be in a public place, then if your logic tells you to go to the next step then you go from there. But aside the precautions one must listen to their gut instinct. That is why it is there to protect you, and it will tell you if there is something wrong. Many times probably is. So sad that we let lust, and loneliness to compromise our safety
.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 6:39:08 PM

Lordandmaster

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Then it seems you DO agree with my statement; you're only pointing out that if an aggressor is caught for harming a victim, the victim is still harmed. And no doubt you're correct about that. But have you actually looked at any crime statistics? Violent crimes involving the internet are always super-sensational affairs that the news media typically pounce on, but they're MANY times rarer than violent crimes involving people who meet in a bar or nightclub. They're also incomparably easier to prosecute.

Perhaps the most important question that a rational criminal asks himself is how likely he is to get caught. Putting yourself in situations where a potential aggressor is likely to get caught is a very important way to protect yourself. Of course, I'm hardly encouraging people to meet absolute strangers in hotel rooms. And not all criminals are rational. But use that as a baseline: if you're horrified by the safety implications of meeting a stranger in a hotel room, ask yourself what other things you do that are even riskier, without contemplating the possible consequences. Meeting someone in a bar and then going home with him is a much better way to be raped...or worse.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 6:41:15 PM

GreedyTop

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quote:

The first few meets must be in a public place

um, I think it would be better stated that "it is advisable to meet in a public place".

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 7:14:35 PM

KatyLied

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Safety police are always ruining the party.

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 7:23:44 PM

Jeffff

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Some times you just have to step up and ride the WildCat.........:)

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 7:26:09 PM

GreedyTop

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here, kitty kitty kitty ;)

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:06:42 PM

manxcat

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myrrrrppppurrrrrr

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 8:16:37 PM

manxcat

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i used to man the phones/office in a small call girl operation, years ago, and even there we had safe calls, etc, set up. the point is how could anyone know for sure from a phone call or 2 or a few internet chats that anyone is really who they are. a supposed sub could be a psycho, thief with friend waiting for you to open the door, packing, etc. and like a few others, (sorry haven't learned yet how to insert a quote) op, i wonder that you can partake and then have the nerve to malign her behaviour.

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The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
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that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 9:07:53 PM

manxcat

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hmmmm was wondering why whenever i posted, the thread seemed to stop. just now noticed the little lightbulb on the forum lists denoting active posts in the past 24 hours. and of course just flipping through the forums looking for interesting topics.....
but then again, in as the d-ring turns, there is a heading for whoever posts last wins.
btw - is there a tutorial for this site or like everything else in life am i gonna have to learn it for myself?

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The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/9/2008 9:17:45 PM

manxcat

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and since i seem to have hijacked this thread, how many posts are needed to get rid of that stupid icecream cone. i have always disliked vanilla. am more of a chocolate kinda girl, or fudge ripple, or rocky road, or brb i need ice cream now.....

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The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

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RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/10/2008 3:21:48 PM

CalifChick

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There's no tutorial, but you could start with the sticky posts at the top of each forum, like this one, about your nilla cone: http://www.collarchat.com/m_117979/tm.htm

Cali

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