RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly...

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/11/2008 10:15:07 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I think it's 25 posts to get rid of the cone. But I agree with you that the second cone ought to be chocolate, third level double dip, then a sundae and so on. Can you tell I'm hungry?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to CalifChick)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/16/2008 4:56:39 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

OP - did YOU have a safe call?

In regards to meeting to soon - I'd say one persons idea of too soon is anothers idea of not fast enough.

I meet when it feels right - some from this site i have met in days - others i have chatted to for ages an d met by chance at a munch/market but not by intention.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/18/2008 1:51:53 AM

HiroProtagonist

Posts: 30
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline

I completely agree with all the posts that say BOTH parties of a first meet need to do the safety things. I would add one thing I have heard elsewhere that I really like.

As the dominant one, a Dom/Domme/Top/Master (fill in with title of choice) should make sure the sub/bottom/(potential)slave understands and follows a set of safety rules for first meetings, relationship progression, etc. A sub/bottom/slave should expect these sorts of directions, especially before a first meeting.

Not original with me, but I liked it instantly when I first heard it and I have incorporated it.

Hiro

(in reply to MasterSteve57)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/20/2008 11:28:10 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HiroProtagonist
As the dominant one, a Dom/Domme/Top/Master (fill in with title of choice) should make sure the sub/bottom/(potential)slave understands and follows a set of safety rules for first meetings, relationship progression, etc. A sub/bottom/slave should expect these sorts of directions, especially before a first meeting.

First thought: So the domly one is wise and all-knowing and I, the subbly one, is stupid? The domly one knows safety rules and I don't?

Second thought: I should say that I tend to chafe at anything that has the word "should" in it.

I don't expect those sorts of directions, and my gut reaction is, if you need to be given a set of safety rules by the person you're meeting, then perhaps you shouldn't meet anyone until you can figure out for yourself what it takes for you to feel safe. Seriously... if you're meeting someone who is not safe, what are their safety rules going to be? "Leave your cell phone at home"... ??

Each person, on either side of the slash, should develop their OWN criteria for first meets (even if that criteria is "the criteria changes with each situation") and not rely on someone else for those criteria.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to HiroProtagonist)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Subs Who Meet Too Quickly... - 10/20/2008 12:13:52 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

I got warned recently - by a Domme - that a male sub can put himself in a dangerous situation like this with a woman too, Manxcat. Obviously, he can end up being in a position where he can be relieved of his wallet and being unable to do anything about it - but it strikes me that even worse could, conceivably, happen.

In fact my suspicion is that if a woman does cut up over-rough with a male sub who's in a vulnerable position, there's a high chance it'll never become public knowledge. Obvious reasons for that.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to manxcat)

Profile

Post #: 45