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RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/10/2005 11:04:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

what is it with girls having masters double their age? it really sucks for young doms like me trying to find a sub/slave when all of them want a dom who is practically old enough to be their father or grandfather. can someone answer me that

I think it is still quite common in western societies to for women to date and married men older than they are.

If someone also sees being submissive as being cared for or taught or led, the attraction of an older top may be the idea that, as a parent might, the dynamic will be more likely along those desired lines.

Some bottoms may also feel that they want a partner to teach them about BDSM and have the idea that older = more experience.

Doesn't mean this is true for most people or even necessarily true that older = better leader/guide/parent figure. Just that I can understand why someone might be drawn to older individuals.

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(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/10/2005 11:13:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

And you come across very rude and imature with your comment about beer belly doms who can't even walk up a flight of stairs.

Maybe that's his only exposure to "other" doms. If his only access to any community, is with the older, unfit types, than we might see where his generalization is coming from.

I know that I've noticed an increasing number of unfit Doms in our own local community. It's the way of the world though...or at least the US. I know sub ladies that have feared being in scene with them, as they wondered if the man would make it through the night, due to him being so unhealthy. I've seen some myself that looked about 10 months pregnant, and that's not healthy for ANY man. Or the ones out of breath from only "walking up" to a piece of equipment...let alone how they are, "after" using it. (And yes, there are Dommes like this too.)

I think it's probably safe to say that someone young, or old, is going to make statements based on what they've learned, and what they've been exposed to. His judgements are clearly of someone that can't have been exposed to too much, but at least are his own, and he's not afraid to voice them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion
Maybe they aren't really rejecting young doms like you.
Maybe they're rejecting you.

Sounds logical too, FP.

K

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/10/2005 11:27:44 AM

perverseangelic

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I often feel that I'm in the minority in that I have an active preference for people my age, and not more than about 5 years older.

For me, it's that I have trouble feeling comfortable arounds omeone much older than me, in -any- setting, because I constantly feel like I'm inthat mode one gets in when one is introduced to one's parents friends. I can never really calm down and be -me-.

I figure everyone's preference is just that, their preference, and doesn't make a judgement call as to what type of relationship is better.

I admire and lust after older men and women from afar, but for a relationship? Around my age any day.

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RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/11/2005 10:41:16 PM

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Maturity, leadership, ability to trust, safety, ATTITUDE, discretion, experience. Yeah. That about covers it.

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(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/11/2005 11:18:09 PM

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To be blunt, it's not an age thing with me. My first Domme that I experimented with is almost 4 years older than me. She's 24; I'll be 21 next month. The friendship is better than ever, even though the romantic/bdsm-ey part didn't fly. I was attracted to her patience, her experience and here's a BIG part of it, her emotional maturity. Dom Number 2 is a Lesbian Daddy who is 16 years older than me. Again, it's her experience, her patience, and her emotional maturity. (And she's DAMN hot on that motorcycle. ;) ) Due to circumstances beyond our control (I was seriously injured in an accident a few months ago.) we are on hold, but as I heal and get mobile again, we're looking forward to picking up where we left off.

From your posts and your profile, it seems you're a bit short in the areas I've mentioned. My suggestion is to chill out, learn some patience and learn your craft! It's a cool thing to go and be the big bad Domly Dom and playing with whips and chains and all sorts of lovely toys, but let me tell you, those of us who are going to be subbing are NOT reassured by impatient inexperience! Personally, I'm not attracted to newbies stomping their feet and hollerin' "Why not me?" The newbies who do attract me are willing to go slow and learn from their "elders". I put "elders" in quotes as I meant people with more skills than you, not neccessarily folks who are older than you. The Lady who was only a few years older than me has a quiet confidence that attracts subs and slaves like bees to honey. Another guy I know has a loose cannon sort of energy similar to yours that scares most potential partners away, and he's in his 60's! I sort of think you're confusing age and experience.

PS HI GEOFF!

(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 5:42:03 AM

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De gustibus non est disputantum. That about sums it up.

(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 7:38:10 AM

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Man, not much reponse to my first theory. So here comes theory number two.

By being older it's normally assume that there's more maturity meaning that the guy isn't always thinking about sex. WRONG! Guess again ladies, most of us guys including myself will be horn dogs till our dying day. With time and some experience, some of us have only learn to hide that we're thinking sex 24/7. Beards, grey hair, and the fact that they traded in there 6 pack for a keg will never change that.

Older men however have a better chance of growing beards and mushtaches or getting scruffy which many women like when they're recieving oral sex.

Now here is theroy Number THREE.

Most people are taught to Respect There Elders. However, there isn't much teaching about respecting younger people and those around your age. With the early childhood raising to respect your elders, subs who want to serve may have a mind frame to be more comfortable respecting those older than them. They respected people with Yes Maam and Yes Sir there whole childhood. Why should they stop now when there are still people closer to there parents and grandparents age? Most of us have been taught to respect older people. Do you like martial arts? If you went to take lessons would you follow the instructions of a 16 year old black belt with 10 years experience in training or a 40 year old who just became a black belt? How often would you like to go to school and learn from teachers or instructors younger than you? Most submissive may just feel better being with older doms because all there other teachers, instructors, and mentors have always been older than them. If it ain't broke then don't fix it.

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RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 7:59:07 AM

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I'm all the completely wacked immaturity I can handle in a relationship.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 8:00:19 AM

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over the past month or so i really got talking to two doms. One is only about 2 years older then me, and the other is about 30 years older then me. I found that while i first really focused on trying to get to know one closer to my age, i had a few isseus with him. His maturity level was not one i was looking for. Secondly right now i have hit a tough spot in my life, when i said to him, i need you to take control when..., i need you step up an be the man i truely belive i see inside of you he still really never did. I am possable looking to be a slave to someone in the future,when i find the right person. I can contrube him not being able to take control to a few things. one; he was really bisy, and i am ok with that but even in a 10 min phone call he could not take control. two; he said that he found i took control of situation to often then not. When it comes to me, i can give up control only if i know the one i am giving it to can handle it. You can take it from me, and i will easily give in and let you have it. However, if i give control up, and as result things don't work. I will look at why. Was that person able to take control and use it to best their ability to try achive the deired results.

the other one who was 30 years older then me. When i hit a rough patch i ended up talking to boht of them durign that night. without me ever telling him waht i needed he took control. I can attrubute this to fact that he has been around the block before so speak, but with the one my age, even when i told him what i needed he was unwilling to take the responabilty and follow through with it.

reality of life, when people are in their early 20's they are changing and growing, really finding who they are. That i think is maybe why younger males and felmales can be seen as inmature. Life is all about experences, and how you take them and use them to shape your future.

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The world is like a shinning diamond.
The way it gitters if you polish it right.
If the light should turn and leave you blinded.
Take the dream and give it one more try.

Soulburn, Masterplan

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 8:05:53 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tine11
Was that person able to take control and use it to best their ability to try achive the deired results.

What are you talking about in all this taking of control in a few minutes on a phone call?

Did you ever think that perhaps they are actively NOT trying to influence you because they would consider it rude to do so and presumptuous on their part and just want to get to know you first?

Just because someone doesn't try and solve your problems and make you feel controlled in the first few minutes of a conversation doesn't mean they aren't capable or a good dominant.

You might be completely right in your assessment as well- but just pointing out the other possibilities.

(in reply to Tine11)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/12/2005 9:07:18 AM

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This was just one after many many conversestions i have with the person.

_____________________________

The world is like a shinning diamond.
The way it gitters if you polish it right.
If the light should turn and leave you blinded.
Take the dream and give it one more try.

Soulburn, Masterplan

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/18/2005 7:22:34 PM

Sub03

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I totally agree. My Dom is 29 years older than me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

Maturity, leadership, ability to trust, safety, ATTITUDE, discretion, experience. Yeah. That about covers it.

(in reply to OscarHargraves)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/18/2005 8:51:48 PM

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well.... as one with a Master 20 years older... my honest to god very first thought when I read this was...... no mature distinguished educated grateful Dominant would ever post such a thread....

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RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 12/18/2005 8:59:50 PM

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I think OscarHargraves hit the nail on the head. Age doesn't really matter if you exhibit those qualities to your potential charge. I really doubt that there are that many submissives that look specifically for an older Dom/me unless physically being different in age is one of their kinks. Otherwise, being mature and conducting yourslef as such is a very good substitute for just having a difference in age.

--Anopheles

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RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/17/2006 4:22:47 AM

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OMG Sir, I had no idea you were on this site.

You took me just shy of my 19th birthday; what a terrific 19th birthday gift, my Master.

Lovingly yours for 3 years now.

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One of Master's many sluts

(in reply to lovingmaster45)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/17/2006 4:59:25 AM

Arpig

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I don't know, but being an older dom, I sure don't mind.
In all honesty, I have noted, when surfing profiles, that an awful lot of subs specifically state they are not looking for somebody my age, and in fact they state they are looking for someone their own age.....so maybe you have been surfing the wrong profiles...or maybe there is something to the way you have been presenting yourself.

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(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/18/2006 1:19:37 AM

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quote:

I have noted, when surfing profiles, that an awful lot of subs specifically state they are not looking for somebody my age, and in fact they state they are looking for someone their own age.....so maybe you have been surfing the wrong profiles...or maybe there is something to the way you have been presenting yourself.

I did not find Master by looking at profiles. It was 8AM at McDonalds in Charlotte. The place was crowded and he asked if he could sit with me. I am INCREDIBLY shy; but something told me to answer. How did he know? By the time he had eaten his biscuit, he had told me that I a beautiful submissive. How did he know I was submissive? How did he know I was already at the edge of the lifestyle? It was not my clothes; I had been out putting up signs for my parents business. It was not anything I said; I was mostly silent.

I was definitely NOT looking for an older man; but am I ever thankful that he wanted me; took me; and now owns me. FYI, he is 40 years older than me. He is the only man who has ever been able to keep up with me sexually. Of course I know he is the exception; but life is all about finding the exceptional and the exceptions.

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(in reply to Arpig)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/18/2006 2:49:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

what is it with girls having masters double their age? it really sucks for young doms like me trying to find a sub/slave when all of them want a dom who is practically old enough to be their father or grandfather. can someone answer me that

Now, since I am not young enough to have any interest in you, I may be able to offer a few hints as to why your profile may be rejected. Remember that the sheer number of young women contacted each DAY by possible dominants is many. So you are already competing for a limited pool. If I were you, I'd redo my profile to tell a prospective submissive what it is you actually do have in experience. What kinds of activities do you enjoy. Are you a member of a real time community?

And, there is something about a dominant who is willing to relocate that screams to me that the dominant is not in control of his own life. Either does not have a steady job or is looking for a submissive to support him. For most submissives, lack of control of one's own life is a real turn off......and, remember in this limited pool which you are fishing, everything you state can get you rejected or accepted.

(in reply to mercmjm)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/18/2006 9:59:02 AM

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very true.....and learn as you go so that you are able to please women far better in your 40's and 50's ..............then you can now.......and then you will reap those same benefits that we do now

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercmjm

what is it with girls having masters double their age? it really sucks for young doms like me trying to find a sub/slave when all of them want a dom who is practically old enough to be their father or grandfather. can someone answer me that

Age brings many benefits. Sub females like the idea of a guardian, a protector, someone older/stronger/better so they can feel secure, weak, vulnerable.

And it is an unfortunate truth that most men have no clue how to handle relationships until they get into their 30s.

Just be yourself, plenty of young girls want men their own age.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

RE: what is it with girls having masters double their age? - 1/18/2006 5:45:15 PM

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Though not all younger women want an older man, perhaps many do. I would say if you are having trouble attracting the type of woman you want, you should look to yourself first. While you may be manna from heaven, your profile reads like that of a whining child.

A few tips - do not disparage others in your profile or in your journal - it is extremely unattractive and says NOTHING positive about you. The profile you have written says "i am a brat child used to getting my own way, why don't you come play with me? i know why, because those big bullies (read - "real" men of whom i am extremely jealous) have all the fun toys and all of the good playmates - are better men than i am. this makes you seem very insecure - not a good domly trait.

-change your picture - you look very young to begin with - the photo looks like you are in your bedroom and your mommy is going to come in at any moment with milk and cookies.

-in reality, even before getting to the whining part of the profile, you are 20 years old and have how much experience? dude, come on. Maybe you do, maybe you have taken classes and seminars and engaged with others, trained under the auspices of an expert, and what not - but where, you're not old enough to get into most places. if you are indeed experienced, then you should say exactly in what manners and ways and how many years.

-i like older men, actually, i love older men and one of the best things about older men is their intelligence. what education do you have? what conversatin and philosophical points of view can you discuss? not what you've read in books, but that you know, that you have experienced?

-it is one thing to proclaim dominance, another thing to be a dominant male. saying does not make it so. in what ways would a submissive be safe with you? the online thing - hmmm, if that's what you want - cool for you and there is probably someone who wants that too... but if you think cyber play with someone barely out of their teens gives you an edge on the beer belly grandpas, you are sorely mistaken.

i believe that most people look at profiles and can only make a determination of interest based upon what you write and perhaps a photo if there is one. if you already know that you have stiff (pun intended viagra guys) competition, then you need to do an even better job of selling yourself. be direct, be truthful, be interesting. if you are the 20's dom with maturity and experience , make your profile (and your forum posts) reflect that.

and i'm going to stop because i feel like a mom lecturing one of her children.

newflowers

< Message edited by newflowers -- 1/18/2006 6:17:55 PM >

(in reply to krikket)

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