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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 3:10:41 AM

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if he's a switch he should have said so - its an accepted part of the lifestyle here and therefore there should be nothing to hide. though he clearly was trying to with you - i dont know why, makes no sense to me.

heres where id have a problem. that either ...

a) he doesnt know what he is and is trying to find out. which makes your position a little tenuous
b) he ommitted to tell the whole truth about himself, which isnt lying but makes believing anything he says from now on a little tricky.
c) he's apparently playing the field
d) id end up wondering if i had a guy with his heart totally into the relationship youre trying to develop
e) he said he was D with you because he wanted you, which does make him a liar, clearly
f) if i wanted to be with a switch id look for one. i dont. my choice and i assume yours too, is to find a Dominant who has no latent or realised desires to be sub. he has messed around with your choice to be with the type of person you decided to look for, so he is also selfish.
g) for me most of the above would be a deal breaker. plenty of other guys out there who are capable of being honest and straight with you.

the thing is. if you were a switch too, then being with a switch with him would work out fine. if youre not and youre looking for a monogamous relationship you have a bit of a problem because he will therefore need to go elsewhere to satisfy his sub needs.

personally trying to communicate with a person who has so far shown that communication and absolute honesty is a problem for him seems somewhat futile. but thats just me maybe - i get all arsy about dishonesty though.. good luck hun, not an easy situation for you.

< Message edited by lally3 -- 10/19/2008 3:15:46 AM >

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 4:11:34 AM

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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ach

Greetings

I'm new here and new to submission - 26 yr old female. I always wanted this and finally found someone I click with. I met him and I started training with him

But! I found he has a submissive profile too and he is active on it!

I hear that all men really wish to be submissives. Do you think this is what I am dealing with?

He seems to want to still dominate me and tells me he has not submitted in years but I feel like I am being cheated on.

Not all Doms wish to be subs...just as all subs do not wish to be Doms.

And i can't see he is cheating on you unless there is an agreement to be exclusive to each other.

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(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 4:38:55 AM

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when the relationship started did he say that he had never been with anyone else before? im guessing no, you cant be cheating unless you are breaking an original promise, he didnt promise that he had never done anyting before

Also not all men want to be Subs thats a pretty silly idea hrist knows where you got tat from.

Basically if all it is is a profile who cares, you need to establish what the rules are regarding your relationship, is it exclusive? is it mono? etc then you can be concerned.

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 4:40:48 AM

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From: Quietville
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So what?

Switch is an option on a CM profile. Somebody who has one profile as a dominant, and another profile as a submissive, is called a liar.

that is a bit of a stretch

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 5:20:08 AM

anamericaninfife

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/7/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

I'm not impressed with this guy. I recall a guy who had 3 profiles. Yes, one as dominant; one as submissive, and one as switch. I guess he was really desperate to get laid.

I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have three different profiles. For the record, I only have one, but I've thought about creating another--not because I'm a switch, mind you, but because I feel like I'm compatible with more than one type of woman on here, i.e. both slaves and subs. I tried to explain that in my profile, and wound up with an excessively long page that was far more than most people would want to read, but I'm always concerned that a great "sub" who would otherwise be into me and might be the one for me might read my page and see that I'm looking for a "sub or slave" and freak out. Same thing goes the other way, should a really amazing slave girl read my page and see that I'm still pretty plugged into vanilla life.

That said, while I'm not a switch, I can see why someone who was would want to create two profiles, as it can be hard to explain two sides of yourself to someone on one single page. Here's a more optimistic way of looking at this situation, though, ach. It could be that your Dom is a switch, but one that nonetheless can see himself being committed to whoever he meets, one way or the other. That is to say that he might indeed be 100% committed to you now that you've come along, but he just as well could have been happy being 100% committed to a great Domme had he found that first. Again, I'm compatible with both subs and slaves myself, but I think I'd be able to commit to either of the two if the right one came along. I wouldn't freak out too much about his still having the other page up though, particularly if you've only recently progressed to this stage...he may still have friends he chats with, or he may like answering message boards under his other screenname. It's not a sure sign that he's dissatisfied with you.

Bottom line, of course, is that you need to ask him about it if you want the facts.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 6:29:16 AM

Posts: 363
Joined: 7/11/2008
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Fast reply to OP-

The following applies if you have agreed to submit to this man or if there was a clear lie.

Anyone that cannot be up front has lost my respect immediately. Some will say there are an infinite definitions for Master. I will say that not one of them includes liars or cheaters.

The fact that you don't know the truth behind the "all men" story tells me that you are definitely new and naive concerning Ds if you believe that for a second. If I were in your shoes I would write to his submissive profile from the profile he knows and telling him how his failure to disclose his "twist" on delivered information is unacceptable. And then I would block him. He will probably try to explain, kanive and use/invent a reason to keep you. Lies are deal breakers, PERIOD.

Dolf

(in reply to anamericaninfife)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 7:09:37 AM

ach

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Joined: 10/18/2008
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Thanks everyone

I guess the bottom line is I just am not getting what I need and I don't feel like a top priority to him. I mean he is posting excited things to his submissive journal and nothing to the dominant one except that he is training me.

I am glad to hear that not all men wish to be submissive. I unfortunately had a previous (but online) experience where the man had both and didnt tell me.

I was begining to think this is what I had to accept in order to find a dominant

(in reply to DomDolf)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 7:10:22 AM

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Wow. I've had two profiles on this site before. Maybe I'm a liar, too.

I only have this one right now, but -- like a hell of a lot of other people -- I don't think the orientation choices on CollarMe are sufficient to describe who I am and what I'm looking for. Alt in this sense is much better. I had a "Role: Not Applicable" profile there for over a year, and met some great women with it. Just as some people would prefer CollarMe options of "Top" or "Bottom" instead of just "Dom" or "Sub," I would prefer the option "Whacked."

I don't see anywhere the OP stated that the guy lied to her. Maybe I missed that post. "Ask him and find out" seems like a good plan to me.

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 7:21:59 AM

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Joined: 7/11/2008
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Wow- you assume I mean everyone that has two profiles. And you missed my entire first sentence.

Interesting.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 7:51:53 AM

Posts: 60
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ach

Greetings

I'm new here and new to submission - 26 yr old female. I always wanted this and finally found someone I click with. I met him and I started training with him

But! I found he has a submissive profile too and he is active on it!

I hear that all men really wish to be submissives. Do you think this is what I am dealing with?

He seems to want to still dominate me and tells me he has not submitted in years but I feel like I am being cheated on.

First of all, I "hear" that a cola douche will prevent pregnancy, and that there is a dinosaur in the sewers of New York City.

Yeah... Urban legends!

Second, I don't see any place where you're asking if he's a liar.

Beyond that, so what if he has two profiles? I did for a while, before I finally talked to a site admin, recovered the ancient password, and killed the old profile.

And maybe your man isn't a Dominant as in "lifestyle of D/s" type. Maybe he's just (mostly) dominant in the bedroom (in other words, a "top").

So... I have to agree with someone else up there -- stop typin' and go ask the dood!

May turn out that he wasn't necessarily honest, because he was afraid your reaction would be negative -- so he simply didn't tell all the truth in one chunk.

May turn out you guys are GREAT friends online or oncam, but it wouldn't go in "real time".

May turn out that he's a wanker... and you will have found out before your heart was really involved.

But... You won't know till you go ASK HIM!

G'luck!

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 10:23:44 AM

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomDolf

Wow- you assume I mean everyone that has two profiles. And you missed my entire first sentence.

Interesting.

I was fast replying to the tone of the thread, not to you in specific. I saw your first sentence.

Edited to add: In general, if I want to comment on what a particular person says, I will quote their words in my post.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 10/19/2008 10:26:11 AM >

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(in reply to DomDolf)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 10:31:29 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I would prefer the option "Whacked."

I would totally use that option if it were there.

quote:

I don't see anywhere the OP stated that the guy lied to her. Maybe I missed that post. "Ask him and find out" seems like a good plan to me.

I agree.

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 10:48:12 AM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I don't see anywhere the OP stated that the guy lied to her. Maybe I missed that post.

Well from the very limited pool of info the OP provided, it sounds that way. The guy she calls master has another profile he's active on for being a sub. It seems she "found it" perhaps by searching. Maybe he told her, who knows. Just the tone comes off as he kept something from her or still is since he keeps updating the sub profile journal. With what info, who knows.

But then again, maybe he's not lying to her. No idea of any details. No idea if it's real time, on line. If they actually have a relationship or is it just play and she wishes/thinks it's more. No idea if they have any rules. No real info at all, just...a lot of whining it seems, to me anyway.

Just the tone of the OP's post make the man seem deceptive. Everything mentioned seems to come from info she learned off his secret sub profile and not much info he told her. Besides "I haven't done that in ages" or however it was worded.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 10:59:22 AM

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Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
I don't see anywhere the OP stated that the guy lied to her. Maybe I missed that post.

Well from the very limited pool of info the OP provided, it sounds that way.

quote:

but I feel like I am being cheated on.

well she agrees with you..beeing cheated on...equals beeing lied to

(in reply to Usako)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 11:11:08 AM

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ach

But does that mean he will be with other women so he can be dominated?

Why are you asking us?

And...you realize that you're falling for the same fallacious reasoning that tells other people that, because someone is bisexual it must also mean that they are sexually promiscuous, yes?

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(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 11:24:17 AM

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RedMagic1,

The post fit perfectly with my words and the (in reply to DomDolf) supported my understanding of your post. I'm not sure who is likely to quote appropriately and who is not. I'm sure the confusion on my part is understood. Thank you for the explanation.

Dolf

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 11:29:27 AM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So what?

Switch is an option on a CM profile. Somebody who has one profile as a dominant, and another profile as a submissive, is called a liar.

that is a bit of a stretch

I agree. If a person wants to target certain users with profiles from differing orientations I see nothing wrong with that as long as they are honest before becoming involved with a person. For example, I would not feel lied to if I dated someone a few times and they told me before becoming intimate that they were bi but oriented toward hets for long term relationships. I see this as no different. Just because someone desires certain sexual experiences does not make them less dominant in the relationships that they are dom in, or submissive in the relationships they are submissive in. In fact I think of switches as often switching in the same relationship, if a person does not like to switch in a relational sense then it would make total sense not to think of themselves as a switch at all

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 12:24:39 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ach

Thanks everyone

I guess the bottom line is I just am not getting what I need and I don't feel like a top priority to him. I mean he is posting excited things to his submissive journal and nothing to the dominant one except that he is training me.

Here is the indicator that his words and actions don't match up...he tells you he hasn't been engaged in his submissive side for years but he writes a different story.
It is possible that he only uses that as an outlet for fantasy but it is more likely he is not telling you the entire truth.... it doesn't mean he IS cheating but he isn't being open with you.

(in reply to ach)

RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 1:41:48 PM

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I was begining to think this is what I had to accept in order to find a dominant .... no it isnt, theres something for everyone out there. and, ... i just re-read my post and this bit:

e) he said he was D with you because he wanted you, which does make him a liar, clearly doesnt sound how i meant it to. what i meant was that by calling himself a D he got you and that was the lying part, not the wanting you part, which im sure is genuine and actually, i feel for the guy - he's clearly finding his way, so, wish him luck and move on. itll be a learning curve for him to.

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RE: Master has two profiles - 10/19/2008 1:45:09 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

So what?

Switch is an option on a CM profile. Somebody who has one profile as a dominant, and another profile as a submissive, is called a liar. I wonder if she's found his slave profile yet.

edited to add: I am using "his" provisionally.

K.

Sure, possibly.

But thats kind of saying that because my name in real life isn't MadRabbit that I am necessarily lying or deceiving.

Maybe he has two as opposed to one switch profile, because the D/S world tends to treat switches like the red headed bastard step children they would rather forget about and pretend don't exist.

Maybe he didn't tell her because there is so much negativity enforced on the idea of a "dominant" "submitting" that he was insecure. A lot of people cannot handle the idea of a dominant submitting and still being a true Dom (Coincidently, I noticed those same people are usually the ones who don't acknowledge the existence of switches).

Anyone who has some contact and experience with the public scene knows the idea of a dominant keeping his submission in the closet is not a far fetched idea, particularly male dominants.

I think both scenarios are very reasonable and plausible and it's not necessarily of the lowest common denominator of him being pond scum in this case.

I'm not saying your wrong. Just that there is other ways to view this.

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