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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 7:39:48 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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fast reply

i post here and elsewhere (except in a couple of forums that don't interest me) ...i'm submissive however i'm also Mistress/Owner of my beloved pet/bf. as others have stated - it's an open and public forum - anyone can post anywhere they so chose.

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(in reply to stella41b)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 7:44:45 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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why should you have to ask permission to post your opinion on a Master to Master thread?

it's an open thread on a public forum - you can post an opinion whether the OP doesn't recognize it or not. i don't ask permission to post on threads within Ask Mistress/Master ...never have and never will. and i don't care if no one responds to me or not - if i have an opinion on something, i will express it.

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...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 7:44:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

It's a free and open forum whose purpose is to explore, educated and socialize with people who share a similar interest. FemDoms and malesubs interact in a manner uniquely different from what 'normal' society dictates. I personally enjoy the view from the opposite corner. One cannot have an insightful debate without two opposing opinions.

This is exactly why I post here, which leads me to see it more as "the femdom board" rather than "the Mistress board". When you look at the other sections everything seems heavily slanted towards Male dom / female sub. Were I to not be allowed to post here, I would simply be gone as the community would no longer have anything to offer me.

The only thing I can add is that it is a wise person who when given an idea places more consideration on the person who spoke it than the content of the idea itself. Ok so I'm being a bit snarky there but the idea that male subs have nothing of value to add really bothers me. As others pointed out some of us male subs have had experiences that some of the Domme's here haven't had. The nature of what we do tends to lead people to post questions concerning relationships. Suprisingly there are often at least two people in a relationship who can both have valid thoughts about their experiences that others might find to be of value.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 7:54:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

why should you have to ask permission to post your opinion on a Master to Master thread?

it's an open thread on a public forum - you can post an opinion whether the OP doesn't recognize it or not. i don't ask permission to post on threads within Ask Mistress/Master ...never have and never will. and i don't care if no one responds to me or not - if i have an opinion on something, i will express it.

If the HEADLINE in a Ask a Master thread says: 'Master to Master' I know they are looking for a Master's opinion, not a Domme's.

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

An analogy....If I have a mailbox with my name on it, am I supposed to accept other people's mail?

no.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:01:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CdnExplorer

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

It's a free and open forum whose purpose is to explore, educated and socialize with people who share a similar interest. FemDoms and malesubs interact in a manner uniquely different from what 'normal' society dictates. I personally enjoy the view from the opposite corner. One cannot have an insightful debate without two opposing opinions.

This is exactly why I post here, which leads me to see it more as "the femdom board" rather than "the Mistress board". When you look at the other sections everything seems heavily slanted towards Male dom / female sub. Were I to not be allowed to post here, I would simply be gone as the community would no longer have anything to offer me.

The only thing I can add is that it is a wise person who when given an idea places more consideration on the person who spoke it than the content of the idea itself. Ok so I'm being a bit snarky there but the idea that male subs have nothing of value to add really bothers me. As others pointed out some of us male subs have had experiences that some of the Domme's here haven't had. The nature of what we do tends to lead people to post questions concerning relationships. Suprisingly there are often at least two people in a relationship who can both have valid thoughts about their experiences that others might find to be of value.

Of course!

The point I am making here is that the FloridaMistresse asked in her headline "Mistress to Mistress'

I love to see and hear what subs experience but she was asking on that other thread for Mistresses, not subs opinions.

She was in need of a solution. She wanted a few suggestions from other Mistresses and stated that.

(in reply to CdnExplorer)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:08:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

This was not the point.

In the thread headline the OP specifically asked "From Mistress to Mistress"
The OP even reiterated it later on after a male sub gave his opinions in a couple of posts.
He did not ask a question, but chimed in with his opinions as a sub.

The name of this forum is Ask, (not tell) a Mistress.

Is someone starts a thread and makes it clear who they are asking, or sets a boundary...I think it is polite to respect the OPs request!

For instance: If I was on 'Ask a Master' thread and the headline said: 'Master to Master' and I wanted to chime in: I would kindly ask if my opinion would be welcomed or not. This is out of respect of the OP Master who set the guidelines for that thread. If the OP responded 'No' I would not give my opinion on that thread and apologize if I had butted in.

This is not a big deal...but I see it going waaay off the train track here.

It is not 'segregation' it is simply the request of the OP for that thread.

ps: Asking is different than 'telling'.

To some extent, I see your point though I differ on the interpretation of when a person is "asking" and when a person is "telling" an opinion. How I see these forum sections, they are being guidelines to the general nature of the posts that it contains. It may be my skewed thought process which has me looking at the poster as adding their opinion as a person first and as a sub second. Then I do have to think , "what about the ones who started this journey under one label and grew into actually being another?"

*sigh* I kind of like to believe that receiving opinions from several POVs will help me to form a more equilateral opinion for myself though I do wonder if maybe I'm self deluding myself. On that note, I bid you a good day MissEnchanted and take care.

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(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:10:13 AM

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Please may I add an additional point to this thread?

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:10:33 AM

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That may be the case for that thread, but that wasn't the question in this thread

In either case, don't you think that PeonForHer's thread on the same subject turned out to have many more interesting responses? Plus, as long as the person replying isn't a troll who cares?

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:20:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective.

This was not the point.

In the thread headline the OP specifically asked "From Mistress to Mistress"
The OP even reiterated it later on after a male sub gave his opinions in a couple of posts.
He did not ask a question, but chimed in with his opinions as a sub.

The name of this forum is Ask, (not tell) a Mistress.

Is someone starts a thread and makes it clear who they are asking, or sets a boundary...I think it is polite to respect the OPs request!

For instance: If I was on 'Ask a Master' thread and the headline said: 'Master to Master' and I wanted to chime in: I would kindly ask if my opinion would be welcomed or not. This is out of respect of the OP Master who set the guidelines for that thread. If the OP responded 'No' I would not give my opinion on that thread and apologize if I had butted in.

This is not a big deal...but I see it going waaay off the train track here.

It is not 'segregation' it is simply the request of the OP for that thread.

ps: Asking is different than 'telling'.

To some extent, I see your point though I differ on the interpretation of when a person is "asking" and when a person is "telling" an opinion. How I see these forum sections, they are being guidelines to the general nature of the posts that it contains. It may be my skewed thought process which has me looking at the poster as adding their opinion as a person first and as a sub second. Then I do have to think , "what about the ones who started this journey under one label and grew into actually being another?"

*sigh* I kind of like to believe that receiving opinions from several POVs will help me to form a more equilateral opinion for myself though I do wonder if maybe I'm self deluding myself. On that note, I bid you a good day MissEnchanted and take care.

You know what? You're right!
I forgot about how people change their label over time. Good point.

stella:
share....?

(in reply to beargonewild)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:29:16 AM

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Sometimes I have commented in threads and did not realize what category it was in until after. Last week I was blocked out of a thread that I posted on, lol. I guess it was Ask A Mistress. I did not bother me, it was someone Else's thread that did not want my input, I understood. The thread had something to do with what to look for in a Dom. Being a Dominant I was offering advice on the beginning negotiations which get overlooked alot, because of the excitement of a new relationship.

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(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:30:51 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts? I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.

I have zero negative feelings about males, either dominant or submissive, OR submissive females posting in this section.

Respect? This is the internet, very few of us know one another personally so respect is a non-issue, in my opinion.

Saying too bad so sad, sounds too juvenile and whiney to me. Just because any section on here is PRIMARILY for any given group there is no rule in TOS as to who is allowed to post anywhere. Since neither you nor I own the site, our opinion on this matter are irrelevant. If we don't like it, we have the option to leave the site.

The reality is, for me, I don't give a flying phuck what someone says they are......... dominant, submissive, male or female, I am here for their mind conveyed through their words.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to FloridaMistresse)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:31:24 AM

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I bolded and underlined the part I wanted to reply to in this post. Who says a female can't be a Master??

SM
(Kris)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

If the HEADLINE in a Ask a Master thread says: 'Master to Master' I know they are looking for a Master's opinion, not a Domme's.

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

An analogy....If I have a mailbox with my name on it, am I supposed to accept other people's mail?

no.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:35:59 AM

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My point is that if you ask the general populace to comply with a certain requirement you're only asking and the choice over whether to comply or not lies with individual members of the general populace. Some will, some won't. Expecting 100% compliance in this situation strikes me as being a tad unrealistic.

It's like when I was using the 'girls seeks girls' section of a dating website to make friends and meet people I would have my profile reported and received a lot of abuse from people simply because I wasn't a naturally born female. In the end I gave up because it was getting to be too much hassle. Just don't need the negative vibes, hatred and venom from people who don't know me.

The thing is if you start a thread asking for responses from specific people such as dommes, then why not just read the responses posted just by dommes and ignore the rest? Why get all upset because others have posted to the thread?

I mean do you read all the mail that comes into your mailbox? Including junk mail and leaflets? I mean the local pizza company drops leaflets maybe once a month. Do you go down to them and berate them for dropping that leaflet in your mailbox? Or do you just chuck it in the bin?

< Message edited by stella41b -- 11/15/2008 8:36:55 AM >

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 8:53:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

The OP can set as many guidelines as they wish, but the MOD's get to ultimately say what is or isnt allowed. So yea...as a submissive female, that gives me the ability to post anywhere as long as I am not derailing a thread, or something like that.

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(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:03:08 AM

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FM,

I respect your right to pose this question. I approve of light-hearted, respectful, and/or insightful male (and female sub) input on this board. There's a lot of it. I'd rather wade through and ignore the bad for the useful and enjoyable contributions, than exclude all male subs. We are dominants, not necessarily dictators - for the purposes of communal internet forum communication, male subs are not less than, they are different. And necessary. We should not dismiss their contributions.

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Always,

Mistress Sophia

(in reply to FloridaMistresse)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:08:45 AM

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My 2 cents for what it's worth...

"Ask a Mistress" can and is often specific to finding out the Mistress perspective. AND Asking questions on this form opens up to very very specifically Female Lead Relationships. Those in these style of dynamic have different perspectives than those in Males Lead Relationships and different from "Let's be 'Equal' Relationships"

As a side note...I often like to read a Dominant Woman's response in these threads AND the s-type in an active Female Lead Relationship may also be able to add something positive and brief to a thread. Which is where I come from..."this is my experience with MsK and what She's done around x,y, and z...maybe this will help." Continued posts in any thread of "yeah I agree with that" tend to just annoy me because it takes up space and slows down the upload of the thread to the computer I'm on.

Finally, as the boi-filter for most of MsK's messages I occasionally get the urge to bitch a little bit about the experience with those I feel will identify with what I'm dealing with in this role...mostly that's Female Dominants who choose to do their own filtering or don't have property to do it for them yet.

Just my take,
MsK's boi
(FL here we come!..happy happy)

Edited to add: If the thread says specifically "...to a Mistress" no I don't think s-types of any kind should be responding unless the message is dictated to them from the Mistress that they serve. While I may read those types of threads, I often don't respond to those...with the major exception being "Mistress...how do I find the perfect Mistress?" Mainly because I don't think Female Dominants are the only ones that will give the quality of advice needed or wanted in those types of threads, as the already involved s-type will also be able to provide great advice based on successfully completing that phase of establishing a relationship with a Mistress. Hope that makes sense.

< Message edited by BoiJen -- 11/15/2008 9:16:29 AM >

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:13:21 AM

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quote:

beargonewild wrote: if a person doesn't want to read a male written post.....simply scroll past. It's so easy and obviously you can tell by the user name and/or pic if the person's one or the other

Neither of these points really holds. `You can just scroll past it' can be used to justify any amount of any off-topic posting. That said, I don't find that there are many objectionable posts here so, at current levels, yes, it's not an imposition to just scroll on by. And on the second point, well, I'm regularly hit on by straight guys online.

To the OP, there is a long-standing convention that this board is for the discussion of femdom relationships by anyone who is interested in them. There's no reason that a submissive, switch or dominant can't answer most of the questions posed here or participate usefully in most of the discussions. Even a question directed specifically at female dominants can often usefully be answered by other people. Remember that a submissive who's been in a relationship with a dominant knows just as much about that relationship as the dominant does.

beeble

(in reply to beargonewild)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:17:47 AM

khem

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I think it's more of a "female lead" relationships q&a. Some of the best responses I've gotten here have come from male subs.

I think it's lame to say only Mistresses can/should answer. Plenty of other people of a variety of genders and orientations can provide useful information.

(in reply to beeble)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:18:15 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

An analogy....If I have a mailbox with my name on it, am I supposed to accept other people's mail?

You dont accept others mail, but how often do you get unsolicited mail?

The OP of a thread does not set up guidelines, they ask a question and state that they are looking for input. If you truly want input that is helpful, tell me what helps more... a snarky bitchy response from a Mistress or a respectful and fact filled one from a male sub? Both can be about the same situation, just a difference in how the percieved answer should be delivered.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:26:22 AM

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quote:

MissEnchanted wrote: Is someone starts a thread and makes it clear who they are asking, or sets a boundary...I think it is polite to respect the OPs request!

The thread is not the personal property of the person who started it. While one should, of course, attempt to deal with the matters brought up in the original post, conversation naturally drifts around.

quote:

And, in another post...If the HEADLINE in a Ask a Master thread says: 'Master to Master' I know they are looking for a Master's opinion, not a Domme's.

The original poster might only be interested in the opinion of certain types of people; on the other hand, it is likely that the general readership of the thread has broader interests. The boards exist for the entertainment and education of all of us, not just for the people who the start threads.

beeble,

(in reply to MissEnchanted)

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