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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:34:09 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

why should you have to ask permission to post your opinion on a Master to Master thread?

it's an open thread on a public forum - you can post an opinion whether the OP doesn't recognize it or not. i don't ask permission to post on threads within Ask Mistress/Master ...never have and never will. and i don't care if no one responds to me or not - if i have an opinion on something, i will express it.

If the HEADLINE in a Ask a Master thread says: 'Master to Master' I know they are looking for a Master's opinion, not a Domme's.

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

An analogy....If I have a mailbox with my name on it, am I supposed to accept other people's mail?

no.

the originator of the thread may ask for masters' opinions only however since he/she doesn't own the site, anyone is free to post an opinion. 9 times out 10 - there will be Mistresses, submissives/slaves, switches etc answering that thread than masters.

my point is - threads are not the personal property of the anyone after posted on a site like this. chatrooms are a separate entity. the owner of the chatroom can exclude/include anyone he/she chooses but on open forum like this, the moderators rule the playground.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:35:54 AM

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This section is not only where Mistresses can speak with each other, but also a place where Mistresses and submissive males can interact. If not here, then where?

I post a lot in this section of CM. I believe that mostly I am respectful and I try to contribute positively. I see this in most if not all of the other male submissives that post in the Mistresses section as well. Do we sometimes get a little playful and flirty? Yes. Again, if not here, then where?

If you want to have a topic for Mistresses only, then just ask that in your post. I will likely stay away, and imagine that most other sub males will too...we may pout a little...

...though...why -anyone- would not want to benefit from our wonderful male insight and respectful flirting I simply cannot imagine...

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:36:27 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts? I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.

Personally I think I would like to hear all perspectives, because often "the other side" might notice something that the top does overlook, a bit like a house, if you are planning to buy a house, you get a report on the whole building and not just the roof, if that makes sense?

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(in reply to FloridaMistresse)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:51:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HagiaSophia

FM,

I respect your right to pose this question. I approve of light-hearted, respectful, and/or insightful male (and female sub) input on this board. There's a lot of it. I'd rather wade through and ignore the bad for the useful and enjoyable contributions, than exclude all male subs. We are dominants, not necessarily dictators - for the purposes of communal internet forum communication, male subs are not less than, they are different. And necessary. We should not dismiss their contributions.

I agree, nicely said.

manxcat

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(in reply to HagiaSophia)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:54:20 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

It is like getting a chat room, whoever starts the room and moderates it gets to set the guidelines for the room. The OP of a thread gets to do the same.

An analogy....If I have a mailbox with my name on it, am I supposed to accept other people's mail?

You dont accept others mail, but how often do you get unsolicited mail?

The OP of a thread does not set up guidelines, they ask a question and state that they are looking for input. If you truly want input that is helpful, tell me what helps more... a snarky bitchy response from a Mistress or a respectful and fact filled one from a male sub? Both can be about the same situation, just a difference in how the percieved answer should be delivered.

Great point.

manxcat

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The television, that insidious beast, that Medusa which freezes a
billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury

(in reply to VampiresLair)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 9:55:16 AM

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Fingers slipped. Sorry!

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 11/15/2008 9:56:05 AM >

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 10:33:53 AM

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From: SE Michigan
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I think everyone should be able to freely post to which ever and any forum that they have a interest in, as long as they are respectful that others may disagree with them.
Just last night I posted in the ask a slave section..... I am not a slave, I have also posted in the ask a switch section, I am not a switch....... I post in many sections especially when I see a question or post that makes me think.
Sometimes...... and this might really tweek people, I discusse a post or thread with my beloved slave and get his opinion before I post..... I know shocking huh?
There are some female only forums on places such as fetlife ( try the sisterhood) if your looking for a closed forum perhaps that would be a better choice then a open forum such as CM.

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Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 10:35:49 AM

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FM,

Firstly, I'm strongly behind Sambamanslilgirl when she says threads are not the personal property of the anyone after posted on a site like this. I'm a veteran of a few other forums and none has operated on the basis of a simple "question from one person, answers all addressed to that person" principle. IMO, the more useful and relevant analogy for everyone is that of a seminar. One person starts a debate - 'the student giving the paper', i.e. the OP - and all participants (with any luck) benefit. This idea, that many people may join in on a forum thread with their own interests and their own answers to others' questions is what keeps forums like this lively. Not just one person, but many people, benefit.

Secondly, I've been caught out only too often in my own prejudice that there exists some sort of "privileged knowledge". For me, when I've held that belief in the past, I've nearly always been proven wrong. Two prime and recent examples here, on CM, spring to mind. One was a recent post from a lady (a quite heart-rending one, for me) who had readily agreed to take the dominant role with her partner but, for some reason that wasn't clear to her, wasn't quite able to take the plunge. Now, to me, as a sub male (and a pretty inexperienced one at that), it seemed, at first, overwhelmingly like I had no business in answering this lady. It felt pretty obviously like something experienced dommes alone should answer. Yet, when I did put in my two-pennyworth, the lady in question did seem to be helped. She expressed quite some gratitude (I say with my head inflating mightily here!)

The other example relates to the pretty painful experience I had when I first arrived here. I was struggling, very hard, to make my own feelings clear to myself on the essence of my own sub nature. A lot of dommes helped, a lot of sub males helped; but it was, finally, a sub female who expressed a point in such a way for me that it hit straight to the core. I'm still thanking her to this day for turning up on a thread that one might have thought would have had little interest or relevance for her.

Thirdly, a special note re a few sub males who write on this forum (and I'm not talking about myself here!): they invariably consider things very, very carefully, never post without lots of thought and concern for the topic and always, for me, are worth reading on whatever they say. It would be a disgrace, in my view, if their opinions were to be considered irrelevant because they come from the "wrong demographic". Actually, even more a disgrace than if their opinions were to be rubbished because they were considered to be mere 'philosophical ramblings'.

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(in reply to FloridaMistresse)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 10:52:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissEnchanted

The point I am making here is that the FloridaMistresse asked in her headline "Mistress to Mistress'

I love to see and hear what subs experience but she was asking on that other thread for Mistresses, not subs opinions.

She was in need of a solution. She wanted a few suggestions from other Mistresses and stated that.

It was that very statement that kept me from posting in her thread and trying to help her with her problem. Not that I was worried about not following her orders, however that statement told me that she doesn't feel a subs opinion could be helpful. Now why would I waste my time trying to help her with that kind of attitude. It does confuse me though. If she is really concerned about the problem and she wants to fix it, then any good advice should be welcome.

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(in reply to MissEnchanted)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 11:26:13 AM

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This is a public forum, moderated by a varied team of volunteers who maintain the TOS. Anyone can post anywhere. If their thread is inappropriate for an area, it gets moved. If it's against the TOS, it gets pulled ("bullies", anyone?

)

If you specifically want input from a certain population, fine. Still, anyone can post their opinion, and why shouldn't they? The men that post here regularly have very interesting and useful things to say (and if not those, at least they are entertaining). In the past, there have been women who vigorously objected to men posting here, and they were asked to leave the boards. If you do not want to listen to men talk, go to a lesbian site, or check out the Sisterhood on Fetlife, where there is plenty of interesting female only discussion.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 11:28:00 AM

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Or you can do what I did...write her privately and see what happens. I got a positive response asking for my input and possible insight.

Yeah, I didn't post on the "From an Mistress TO a Mistress" thread because to me that says "you're not invited to add anything here." And the OP stated her reasons why that was. No the forum isn't private property AND let's be honest...when we (as individuals) go looking for advice from a group we belong to, we don't really like that space to be invaded for any reason by an "outsider." We feel that the thing that binds us to that group is a commonality and someone without that commonality adding to that space often only makes us defensive.

Straight s-type males bond with straight s-type males and often do so to the exculsion of others including butch lesbian s-types or gay s-type males and straight s-type females...straight female s-types will gravitate to straight female s-types with similar exlusions...it's because the experience of any given thing is different from their perspective as a group than it is from another group. So I get where there's a preference sometimes to hear advice from those you feel there maybe an innate connection with. That's all

boi

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 11:48:59 AM

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Not to be confrontational, but I got a distinct "You are not welcome here." attitude from the OPs previous post and this one.

I don't think it was only a request for those with an affinity.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 11:49:18 AM

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I see where you're coming from, BoiJen, but she asked if men should be allowed on the whole FORUM, not just her thread.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 11:55:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I see where you're coming from, BoiJen, but she asked if men should be allowed on the whole FORUM, not just her thread.

I took that with a grain of salt and maybe new to the boards....

Of course it is OK to add a disclaimer "I am ONLY interested to hear from.... thanks for understanding", personally I would do it, unless it is really something that I think men don't know much about (I wouldn't for example want advice on period pain from guys, let's face it, it is something only women experience)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:04:19 PM

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I'm not going to finish reading all the replys here... But I wanted to state that granted this forum is "ask a mistress"... so, please, define mistress? For me and mine a Mistress is an owner of a sub/slave type person. If that's true, then I am a dominant female, I am not a Mistress.... I don't "own" anyone, no one wears my collar... you get the point I'm sure.

And like some others have said, I like the input of everyone, it's just easier to learn if you have lots of perspectives to choose from. Besides, I honestly believe that a lot of owned and or previously owned sub/slave type persons might have a better perspective having spent a great deal of time "studying" their Mistress's.

Jewel

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:06:29 PM

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(I wouldn't for example want advice on period pain from guys, let's face it, it is something only women experience)

You might want to rephrase that, Lady C. I and every man I know who's ever had a female partner has experienced only too much pain as a result of said partners' periods.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:11:44 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I see where you're coming from, BoiJen, but she asked if men should be allowed on the whole FORUM, not just her thread.

I took that with a grain of salt and maybe new to the boards....

Of course it is OK to add a disclaimer "I am ONLY interested to hear from.... thanks for understanding", personally I would do it, unless it is really something that I think men don't know much about (I wouldn't for example want advice on period pain from guys, let's face it, it is something only women experience)

See...even that I don't know. I had a girlfriend who had doubling over cramps and got totally out of her head during her period and would do things like run out into the street at 2 a.m. from a dead sleep, screaming and tearing her clothes off....so I know something of period pain...

Turns out she had an ovarian cyst that was exacerbating her physical symptoms...

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:12:54 PM

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Sorry for that very ancient joke. Though, for me: an oldie but a goldie.

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RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:14:55 PM

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True, but I might have watched train wrecks, being in a train wreck is still a completely different experience...

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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to PeonForHer)

RE: Should men be responding to Ask a Mistress? - 11/15/2008 12:28:53 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FloridaMistresse

How do you feel about men responding to a post on Ask a Mistress?

Should they respect that it is addresses to "A Mistress" not "A Male"

Or is it an open forum to too bad so sad they get to respond even though they are not the ones being asked?

Thoughts? I would just respectfully ask that any responses are not bashing, be open share your thoughts and feelings, but please be respectful of one another.

Thank you FM, for bringing up a topic, many of us have discussed away from the boards.
I rarely post here any more for a variety of reasons.
I have noticed that on the "Ask A Master" boards, often posts will be directed TO Masters,
and as a Mistress I am NOT offended.
I have noticed that on the "Ask A submissive boards, often posts will be directed to submissives,
and again I am not offended.
{BIG GASP HERE}

There are people that really might prefer certain questions answered by only Mistresses on the
"Ask A Mistress" boards!
I know, I know I am radical!

When I first started reading and posting on CM, I really thought that most of the questions, WOULD
be primarily answered by a Mistress in the ASK A MISTRESS section.
I found out that is not the case.
I think this is a valid and great question.

**Again for those that love to twist words on here, I did not say only Mistresses should
be able to answer questions here, I said IF the poster asks specifically for answers from a
Mistress, I don't see it as a big deal OR a "bad thing"!**
Now, back to your regularly scheduled posting.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 11/15/2008 12:51:32 PM >

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(in reply to FloridaMistresse)

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