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RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 5:54:28 AM

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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suggestions?

yeah.
don't worry about it.

i know a lot of over weight dommes and doms.

we are human.
don't let anyone cheat you out of being able to enjoy this lifestyle.

happy holidays

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 8:27:36 AM

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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>I'm an overweight slave and am not too confident hitting a public scene because of this, any suggestions?<

Yes, try to get more fit. Being 5-10 llbs overweight is one thing, anything over that starts inching towards obesity, and truthfully, you should have body issues if you are obese.

I know that I do not like myself overweight AT ALL, and in the last year I have completely changed my diet to eliminate foods my body cannot process easily.

1. I eliminated soft drinks (Cokes) and fruit drinks (OJ & Lemonade) completely from my diet. That one little thing eliminated about 220 empty, sugar based calories a day and over 1,500 such calories a week.

2. I cut my consumption of potatoes and pasta, carbs high on the glycemic index.

3. I introduced a cardio regimen into my life and also began to lift weights.

The end results are that I cut about seven (7) pounds, eliminating my stomach pouch almost completely. I also love the way I look and feel, and this gives 24/7 pleasure --- a bonus benefit much more important to me than eating / over eating.

Also, I get on the scale every day, and if ever I inch over what I want to weigh, I alter my diet immediately to eliminate fattening foods and cut my portions.

Now that I'm in my 40s, I've realized that being fit and trim is work and it requires CONSTANT food discipline. Steps 1-3 were only just recently implemented by me, but before that I:

a. Eliminated FAST FOOD stops.
b. Stopped buying processed foods (potato chips, cup cakes, etc.)
c. Cut my portion sizes

The key to weight control for me has been the strict regulation of sugar intake, eating less foods high on the glycemic index, getting on the scale every day, and being physically active.

There can never at any time be any "going back" where weight control is concerned. If you eat the wrong foods, you will automatically be at least 10 pounds overweight. If you eat too much and the wrong foods, you will gravitate toward becoming obese. There is no excercise way out of this equation.

I think being fit and trim is worth the work and effort, and to be frank, most guys don't like overweight women. Of course you don't need me to point this out. Still, being fit and trim is a self reward, regardless of what others think. My Mistress is pretty much a fitness fanatic. She goes to the GYM six days a week and I absolutely love the way her body looks and feels. There is absolutely no greater pleasure that I can articulate than how it feels for me to wrap myself around her as tightly as possible. I always tell her she is beautiful and that I adore her, and I don't say this because she is beautiful "on the inside." I say it because I LOVE HER BODY. Hmmmmmm.

So, I say to one and all here, if you want others and yourself to love your body, TAKE CARE OF IT. If you want others to "love you on the inside," that's fine, but that's still a long way from others finding you sexually attractive. I don't think this makes those others shallow or superficial either.

Here's an interesting collarme.com fact. If I type in a search for DOMINANT FEMALES IN MARYLAND here are the results I get.

Any Weight: 51 profile listings.

Max Weight 180 llbs: 16 profile listings.

Max Weight 160 llbs: 13 profile listings.

Women over 5' 9" tall: 7 profile listings

I found these search results to be rather disturbing because a woman who is 5' 6" (lets say that is the AVG height for a woman) should weigh no more than 155 llbs or they are overweight according to the BMI index. Assuming the data on collarme.com is correct, then what's clear is that about 60-70% of the ladies profiled in MD are overweight. Its just astounding.

(in reply to AsianSlave2125)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 8:43:02 AM

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

uh huh

eat right live right
be right
and still die anyway

what's the point?

even the HEALTHIEST person alive---------------DIES!!!!!!!!!!!

"I" say........ya only get 1 chance............live how YOU wanna live.

so what if i have a pot belly and i am a bit overweight?

what's your point?
we all have-to-be part of the-beautiful-people?

NOT!

i STILL say........
live life YOUR way and screw everyone else.--it ain't like they are elected to be the ones to carry your casket anyway...right?
why in hell do THEY care?

if they don't like what they see........tell em not to look........holy jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

i can't STAND people that are vain!

take care

< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 12/22/2005 8:45:06 AM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 11:23:50 AM

Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I think being fit and trim is worth the work and effort, and to be frank, most guys don't like overweight women. Of course you don't need me to point this out. Still, being fit and trim is a self reward, regardless of what others think. My Mistress is pretty much a fitness fanatic. She goes to the GYM six days a week and I absolutely love the way her body looks and feels. I always tell her she is beautiful and that I adore her, and I don't say this because she is beautiful "on the inside." I say it because I LOVE HER BODY. Hmmmmmm.

This may be your preference and you are fortunate to be matched with such a compatible Mistress. It is not everyone's preference. Physical appearance or body type also takes on different levels of priority with different people.

The original poster did not ask for advice on losing weight or voice any health concerns. The concern was one of self confidence and feeling comfortable. People can feel self conscious at any size and for a whole host of reasons.

Your "frankness" did nothing to assist her with the stated problem.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 11:49:48 AM

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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>eat right live right be right and still die anyway<

This is disengenious and juvenile. Obesity and being overweight are a serious health concerns and you should not imply that mortality and disease rates of such people compare to those with normal BMIs.

>i can't STAND people that are vain! <

Working and taking basic pride in one's appearance is not vanity.

The poster in question would have more self confidence at public gatherings if she felt better about her own body. If she is in a position to do something about it, that is the best course of action for her to succeed.

(in reply to veronicaofML)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:00:05 PM

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

This is disengenious and juvenile.
========

actually where i come from it's called reality.

you figure YOU are getting out of this life alive are ya???????

guess again

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:01:12 PM

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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>This may be your preference and you are fortunate to be matched with such a compatible Mistress. It is not everyone's preference. Physical appearance or body type also takes on different levels of priority with different people.<

You seem to be saying the poster is happy, content, and care free to be overweight. I did not read her post that way. Part of her wants to be accepted, but as I see it, she has not even really accepted herself. This puts her behind the eight ball. This is why she has trepidation about going out into a public scene or group.

>The original poster did not ask for advice on losing weight or voice any health concerns. The concern was one of self confidence and feeling comfortable. People can feel self conscious at any size and for a whole host of reasons. <

Yes, but she fears rejection because she is overweight. That is the threadline. It seems to me that treating the core problem is the best solution.

>Your "frankness" did nothing to assist her with the stated problem. <

I cannot think of any better advice.

(in reply to Sensualips)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:10:31 PM

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Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
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I think the advice she's been getting about being comfortable with her present looks is much more on the mark and realistic than simply to tell her to lose weight.

From my own experience in the public scene and from the comments of people in this notestream, I'd say that she doesn't have much to worry about.

Of course, if she does encounter someone who puts body shape over attitude and other intangibles, she's always got the option to laugh in his face and have a good time since he's saved her from wasting time with him.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:16:14 PM

Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline

I'm an overweight dom that, till about a year ago, had problems having sex with my shirt off.

Then I finally said...screw it. I'm me.

Let others view you as they will. Screw them.

You will find someone that wants you for who you are.

Yes, there are those that I feel should get rid of a few pounds, more for health then anything else.

This includes me.

And I have a habit of going after BBW ;)

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:19:34 PM

Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

i understand your concern for the op's weight and general health however; she wasn't asking for weight loss tips, advice, statistics -

i am over weight myself, i am not comfortable with it and would much rather be in shape, however, you go to these bdsm munchs/events and you look around most of the people you see are either over weight or just not in the best shape, few are thin, few are beautiful, few are models. When you really realize that others who may not be in the best shape or beautiful, or thin, are out there half naked having all the fun, you kinda want to have some of the fun yourself! and you get over it.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 12:22:14 PM

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

>Your "frankness" did nothing to assist her with the stated problem. <

I cannot think of any better advice.

===========

"I" CAN!
stop looking at those bullshit ads with girls in a size 10 and believe everyone has to be that.
stop looking around and thinking"i am ugly because i don't look like that"
it's bullshit.
not everyone is supposed to be---a size 10.
she can be herself and to hell with the rest........
THAT is confidence!
walk in,..head up,.shoulders back...and say...hey yo...if ya don't like it...bite me!

if i am wrong...........PROVE IT!
i may be a short 5'6"...and have a pot belly...but i guaran damn tee ya...ain't one jock with enough guts to open his mouth.....

MY view...like it or hate it

"I" don't care!

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 11:40:08 PM

Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

I think the advice she's been getting about being comfortable with her present looks is much more on the mark and realistic than simply to tell her to lose weight.

From my own experience in the public scene and from the comments of people in this notestream, I'd say that she doesn't have much to worry about.

Of course, if she does encounter someone who puts body shape over attitude and other intangibles, she's always got the option to laugh in his face and have a good time since he's saved her from wasting time with him.

Well said.
Thank You.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/22/2005 11:53:17 PM

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

That was unnecessary.... she did not ask for diet advice. She asked how to be more comfortable being who she is. Get over yourself already. Just because body shape is something you are fixated on.. doesn't mean everybody is.

< Message edited by quietkitten -- 12/23/2005 12:00:06 AM >

_____________________________

The number 1 cause of stress is reality.

I miss my old Avatar :(

<< I am a depressed procrastinator with Alzheimers -- I am going to end it all.... tomorrow... or the next day.

Now what was I talking about again?

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 1:42:18 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
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there is going to be thinking "Did you see that big girl....."

Well I might be thinking about it but I'd never say anything hehehe* winks*

(in reply to justheather)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 2:08:38 AM

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Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

well this lil one finds herself wondering why it is that a person with no written profile and one blurry pic feels he has the right to decide what is sexy and what isnt. i know of several men in excellent shape that are only attracted to "big girls" *shrugs just my 2 cents, please keep the change

(in reply to veronicaofML)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 7:12:32 AM

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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There seems to be a cultural divide between myself and the majority here. I do not see being overweight simply as some sort of "lifestyle choice," but I do see it as a health and self esteem problem. Someone who is overweight has more health worries and more self esteem issues. If the poster who started this thread got herself into better shape and stayed that way, she would feel better, period. This would then translate into higher self esteem and more self confidence.

I don't understand the chonic epidemic of obesity in the US, but I know how I myself am at risk:

1. FAST FOOD
2. PROCESSED FOODS
3. HUGE PORTIONS
4. SUGAR
5. AGING METABOLISM ISSUES
6. THE CAR, TV, SEDENTARY CULTURE.
7. BEER AND ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION

-------

What I have come to understand is that it takes work not to be overweight in the US. It doesn't happen by itself, it involves a whole series of conscious choices --- but the reward of making and living by these choices is well worth it.

The majority here seems to stand by the point that we should accept and love all body types, in ourselves and in others. Although this may make those weight problems feel better, if fails to acknowlege the damage that being overweight inflicts on a person.

I know that everyone can pick their poisons in life. But if someone says, "God, I can't even walk up the steps without losing my breath." A reply to that person of, "well you need to give up those cigarettes," is not misplaced, vain, or projecting one's view of a body ideal.

I'm sorry to have stirred up some negativity, but I shall always be an advocate for fitness, nutrition, and a healthy lifestyle.

(in reply to SwtJadedGrl)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 7:49:34 AM

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From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietkitten

That was unnecessary.... she did not ask for diet advice. She asked how to be more comfortable being who she is. Get over yourself already. Just because body shape is something you are fixated on.. doesn't mean everybody is.

I suspect he is a former "fattie" who has managed through a combination of good health, good genetics and good luck to lose weight. Some people who do this are reasonable. Some, sadly, become, like some ex-smokers, converts to what seems like a truly evangelical religion, and instead of bathing in good feeling, become health-hype Cotton Mathers. Waving a sword of righteousness in on hand and a copy of South Beach Diet in the other, they march forth into an iniquitous world prepared to do battle against those who haven't reached their level of wholesome righteousness.

My personal advice to them 1/ avoid mirrors. They have an unacceptable level of accuracy built in. 2/ avoid windmills. Those big arms are hell on the armour.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to quietkitten)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 9:54:28 AM

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Joined: 10/20/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

There seems to be a cultural divide between myself and the majority here. I do not see being overweight simply as some sort of "lifestyle choice," but I do see it as a health and self esteem problem.

cloudboy no one is saying that being overweight is healthy, but you took a question about the mind and turned into one about the body. The fact is that i know tiny girls who have low self esteem and would not feel comfortable in a public scene. No one was asking if you thought she had a health problem. I myself have been busting my ass to lose weight and i have lost 70 lbs in less then a year. Why? so that i could do a public scene? no. i am doing it for my own health, but the fact remains that even if i were to become supper skinny, i will have to still get my mind right. we as humans need to learn that just because we think it, doesnt mean we should say it.

(in reply to cloudboy)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 10:08:07 AM

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I think she should just throw herself in at the deep end! nothing is ever as bad as you imagine it to be and is usually a whole lot more fun than you think it will be. The world on a whole is sizist they'll get over it one day.

(in reply to SwtJadedGrl)

RE: Overweight slaves in the public scene - 12/23/2005 11:54:31 AM

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Joined: 12/20/2005
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All she needs to do is go take a look at her local scene. She will find out for herself that the human body is very diverse in shapes and sizes! Follow the advice of slaverubyred! Just jump right in....the kink is great! (lol)

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