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Hmmm, a tricky one in and of itself.

I am straight. I have no bisexual tenencies what-so-ever. But I have been with a woman. And not because I was told to either. I offered it as an anniversary present for my first year anniversary to my husband. He had always respected my wish not to have other women ( though he often mentioned the possibility), but I knew that it was something he wanted. So, I gave it as a present. It did not make our relationship anything less that what it was; which was monogamus, and nor did it make me bisexual.

Many men list this more as a fantasy than as a reality :)

IrishMist

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Laughing^ i'm sure you're still straight...but wouldn't you have rather had the pearls?

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What you seem to be implying is that people have spoken with malice because they have been the object of bigotry before. What a plan.

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Given that it needn't be particularly dangerous, nor physically painful--nor even uncomfortable ... given that in fact despite your stated preferences, having, say, a pair of human hands carefully attending to your this or that could be quite physically pleasureable even it it squicked you mentally ...

... and given that in your case it would be an especially powerful and unquestionable showng of devotion, willingness, and surrrender ...


... well given all this, would one of the ways you'd be willing to make yourself be a pretzel for your One be to obey your dominant when he says: "Close your eyes, undress, and allow the person who walks up behind you to manually molest you as they see fit" in a case where you couldn't even tell whether the molester was himself, or another him, or some her or other?

But when a person bandies about words like "slave" and yet declares hard limits based on, well, a sort of distaste for a given, objectively innocuous activity, then I begin to feel that the word slave has been distorted quite beyond recognition and even the word submissive is being stretched past its uesful range of application.

Noah

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And as for the impossibility of a monogamous relationship with a bisexual person, this is simply preposterous. You're making things out to be so much more difficult than they are. Awfulizing, some people call it. I'm sure you can see that a monogamous monosexual person is forsaking certain interactions with just tons and tons of people who all happen to be of one gender. Monogamous bisexual people also forsake certain interactions with tons and tons of people. This group happen to be of more than one gender. There isn't the slightest difficulty here unless you think it is harder to forsake sex with six billion people than it is to forsake sex with three billion.

Noah

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That's not at all what I'm saying. I wasn't seeing malice in the responses, I saw disagreement...not about your desire to find a monogamous Dom who is into straight women....but about your reaction to feeling persecuted because of your identity and desires.

Shayna

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i think there's value in focusing on one person as a lover as opposed to trying to bed every one of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

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i don't know what it's like for bisexual people; whether if they attempt monogamy they are left longing for a fulfilling relationship with the sex not chosen, or what.

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ORIGINAL: candystripper

It was a bit tongue-in-cheek; asking whether other straight women were frustrated by the perennial search for bisexual women.

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hey candy lol......since you live pretty close to me.....i say.....lets go out and get drunk on new years eve.....

/nods

IrishMist

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It seems like some real life bisexual people people are sharing what it is like, explaining how one can be bisexual and monogamous, but those responses are being rejected.

It doesn't matter to me if a person sleeps with no one, One, or has nasty-sweaty-sticky-sex with twenty three men -- and nine women -- every other Saturday night. Whatever.

Sensualips

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Candy stripper, i so understand this point of view.
It was when i was becoming a little weary of my search, that a very wise woman advised. Set your sights as high as you need, and do not waver - ever.

She was right.

Sirandlittle1

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Then the issue is a constant in your life, you must then come to grips with such and realize that you are in a world where you may be forced to make a choice between someone who may mold with you perfectly in every other way other than that and whether or not you would be able to allow yourself that level of submission. To me it sounds like a far deeper seeded psychological hangup and so perhaps the real question you should be asking yourself is "why is this such a hard limit for me?" and it is only through looking within to find your answers you can come to absolution one way or the other.

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Well said afmvdp.

I am so glad Master found me before I got as rigid as candy. Poor girl. I am also like at heart. I am wired to be monogamous. I am wired to be possessive. Or is that the way I was socialized? Either way, what I thought would make me happy was EXACTLY what candy says she is looking for. I was WRONG.

I am totally devoted to a poly Master. He is married and has two others in his care. We are all having our needs met. Do I desire being with ohter women? No. Do I enjoy it when Master is playing with all of us and we are all playing with each other..OH MY GOD YESSSSS. Does that make me bi-sexual? No. I am straight; but I am devoted to making this man happy and seeing me enjoy others and others enjoying me (men and women) is his desire for me.

I will never go back. BTW; I have been collared 2 1/2 years.

Lighten up sis; life is to be enjoyed not judged.

PS..caitlyn, I love you.

gbgirlz2003

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Now that sounds like plan. Dark grubby bar or something classier?

candystripper

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ORIGINAL: candystripper


Sweetie, i'm very fond of you but please try to understand. My sexual orientation is a part of who i am; and i am not bisexual. ok? i am beginning to feel very weirded out; is being straight unacceptable? B1gBear's acceptance is a start; can we all agree that straight people have their place at the banquet as well? (Gawd how weird this is.)

candystripper

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

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Laughing^ i'm sure you're still straight...but wouldn't you have rather had the pearls?

Nope lol. I was aiming to please that day, not be pleased :)

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ORIGINAL: siamsa24

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^laughs^. One of life's mysteries is why men would find two women together exciting, but women do not want to see two men together (as a rule).

I must be the odd one out, but I find two men together to be very hot

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ORIGINAL: B1gbear


Monogomy by definition btw means.....inclusive of only those two actively involved in the relationship. Now I can see poly families being monogomous within their family too, but by definition....if you play with others beyond the two that started the relationship....your poly, not monogomous.

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Sweetie, i appreciate the good wishes, and i'm pleased you're growing and having fun. Just return a bit of respect and accept that no, i will not change, i will not have any bi-sexual encounters with women. Ever. That's what "straight" means and it's not something to be ashamed of.

candystripper