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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:14:08 PM   
PeonForHer


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Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Boijen,

Point of info: Is this a thread in which women only are allowed to be bitter about men being bitter, or are men allowed to join in in being bitter about women being bitter, too?  

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:19:41 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


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Status: offline 		I think Shakti already answered this, in that it's not pretty in either...  
Someone else said wisely, have some sense of balance, and don't just dump all of your (generic) baggage at once as it makes a bad impression on anyone you want to have like you.    M

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:30:30 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		I think Shakti already answered this, in that it's not pretty in either...   So that's a "no" then - Shakti's already done the job efficiently for me?  I should find a different thread to comment on, then?

Only joking.  One thing I got used to very quickly, FFRIM, is being utterly astonished by women's profiles after I'd already chatted to them in a really friendly way here and/or by cmail.  I've seen some absolutely terrifying profiles written by women who I know to be actually quite pleasant people. 

The thing is, I know why their profiles are written like that.  Some (other), probably quite decent, men, won't, though.  Bitterness creates bitterness, sadly - is all I'm saying.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:36:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		It's a funny thing, Peon, but I have noticed that those evil bitch profiles tend to garner *attention*.  I have been passed over time and time again for those women, though it's true that they often don't manage to keep the men they attract.  Is it the stereotype, or what?  I have no idea.  I can tell you for a fact that in my experience kindness brings nothing.   Now, if you want to experience some bitterness, come for a swim in my pool!  Still, I can't bring myself to fling all that out there, or even to feel it, most of the time. 

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:46:29 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		Kindness in a domina's profile wouldn't bring entirely nothing, Lady Hib.  It would bring someone like me at least, for what that's worth. 

To me, it's brilliantly obvious why the viciously-profiled women would be able to get, but not keep, their partners.  The fantasists would go to them with their willies at full-wood - then realise the simple truth that you can't build a relationship with someone who is too cold to have any desire for a relationship. 

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 2:55:13 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


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quote:

I've seen some absolutely terrifying profiles written by women who I know to be actually quite pleasant people. 

The thing is, I know why their profiles are written like that.  Some (other), probably quite decent, men, won't, though.  Bitterness creates bitterness, sadly - is all I'm saying.
Well, some people believe what they write on the profiles, and some have issues.  
I didn't stumble onto positive style without having been through disillusion land once or twice.    I've been told a few times I'm "too nice to be dominant."    Can you imagine having to defend being a decent human being?  
If I were a professional, and wanted attention, I would write a bitchgoddess profile.    That kind of profile, is what gets the most attention from the people who want to fantasize about who I am, will even pay for the experience, rather than accept that I'm simply another controlling, sometimes fun, lady.    M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 12/1/2008 2:56:36 PM >

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:02:48 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		I've been told a few times I'm "too nice to be dominant."    Can you imagine having to defend being a decent human being?  
 
FFRIM, that's just tragic to hear - from my own, selfish point of view, as well as from yours. Whether you've heard that from dominas, subs: I don't care.  They should just sod off and get lives, frankly.  Zero tolerance for fruitcakes, is what I say.  Bloody hell.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:13:10 PM   
Lockit


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Status: offline 		I am a person.  I can be soft and gentle, hard and harsh.  I can be understanding, then I can be so not understanding.  Those who are wanting more than a play time, will see our human-ness for what it is and what it is worth to them.  I do know that feeling of somehow feeling you must defend being a decent human being and dominant. lol  I pretty much don't even go there with people anymore.  I might talk about it with someone, but I don't need to prove there is good reason to believe a dominant doesn't have to be that whipstress that thinks she rules the world so lil fantasy boy can fulfill his image of what a dominant truely is.

Still even those who are sincere can confuse things a bit.  Or we wouldn't hear from those who are not stuck in a fantasy, saying it surprises them how nice we can be.  Hell, I am even nice in a way when I have someone bent over and am reddening that tail end!  Kind of like a sweet and sour sucker I think.  The two blend nicely. lol

So I think there are those who may have been hurt or abused or confused somehow and are simply trying to work things out and are surprised a dominant can have a softer side and those who have unrealistic fantasy type images stuck in their head.  Sometimes the role surpasses the human with some people and we can see clearly that on both sides of the slash, we are all trying to get to the point where we are simply people doing our kinky thing.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 12/1/2008 3:16:46 PM >

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:19:00 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		 . . . What Lockit said.  I had a funny idea she'd come along and say it better, too.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:23:36 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


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quote:

FFRIM, that's just tragic to hear - from my own, selfish point of view, as well as from yours. Whether you've heard that from dominas, subs: I don't care.  They should just sod off and get lives, frankly.  Zero tolerance for fruitcakes, is what I say.  Bloody hell.
Oh it's not important, and I haven't cared in a few years now about the people who approach me trying to make me into their vision of what I should be...  What kind of control freak would that make me anyway?  LOL
As Lockit points out below, I no longer explain myself to the people who are too disconnected to realize I am me, and not the leatherclad bitch with whips version of a Domina.

And Peon, I wish these boards came with a sound, so I could hear you say all of the above with the accent, especially the "bloody hell."   Me likes boys with some accents.    M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 12/1/2008 3:27:00 PM >

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:34:04 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		I don't have an accent, FFRIM.  I'm British.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:36:45 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Kindness in a domina's profile wouldn't bring entirely nothing, Lady Hib.  It would bring someone like me at least, for what that's worth. 



Too bad theory doesn't translate well into reality, eh?

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:43:58 PM   
Lockit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

. . . What Lockit said.  I had a funny idea she'd come along and say it better, too.


LOL... are you saying I never shut up? hehe  Well... even so, it is kind of true.  I tend to go on that study where the man speaks like one hundred words for a woman's like 25,000.  You are bound to cover a few things when you just keep talking... then again... you can also show what an utter fool you are! hehe  I hope I fall somewhere in the middle most days. lol

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:49:48 PM   
BoiJen


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Status: offline 		PeonforHer...this isn't about bitching about btching. It's a purposeful attempt at creating in depth and meaningful conversation around what seems to me as obvious bitterness associated with (often male) s-types who have a problem with Dommes who have standards. Attempting to engage those women in conversation about how that makes them feel as people not just Dommes...and if you notice the last bit in the OP why those s-types feel the way they or why they may be comming off as bitter.

No offense PeonforHer...sometime you walk that line between bitter and a cool guy. I'd be interested in what you'd have to add to this conversation and if it would end up along the lines of the type of post CDN made or something entirely different?


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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 3:50:32 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

. . . What Lockit said.  I had a funny idea she'd come along and say it better, too.


LOL... are you saying I never shut up? hehe  Well... even so, it is kind of true.  I tend to go on that study where the man speaks like one hundred words for a woman's like 25,000.  You are bound to cover a few things when you just keep talking... then again... you can also show what an utter fool you are! hehe  I hope I fall somewhere in the middle most days. lol


You should talk to Elan more.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 4:13:06 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		No offense PeonforHer...sometime you walk that line between bitter and a cool guy.

None taken, Boijen.  I've made my main point anyway: that bitterness breeds bitterness, and how sad that is.  However, with all due respect, you're not in a position to 'know' whether I'm bitter - or cool, for that matter.  We all realise that it's easy to have prejudices about people - that's the first step.  The next step is to understand that it's quite easy to have prejudices about what we consider to be other people's prejudices, too. 

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 4:17:13 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Kindness in a domina's profile wouldn't bring entirely nothing, Lady Hib.  It would bring someone like me at least, for what that's worth. 




Too bad theory doesn't translate well into reality, eh?



Hey Lady Hib.  If I can manage to be patient, so can you.  Having seen your profile, you won't need much of that.  AND you're the right side of the Atlantic for the best chances, unlike me, apparently.


< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 12/1/2008 4:18:22 PM >

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 4:21:59 PM   
PeonForHer


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Status: offline 		Well, if I were saying "you never shut up", you wouldn't hear me, cos you'd be talking!

I don't think the ratio was quite as bad as 100 male words to every 25,000 spoken by females - but that stat, whatever it was, always makes me titter.


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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 4:22:42 PM   
MsStarlett


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Status: offline 		Peon is a very cool guy... he just has this really perverted sense of humor... and a really cute accent.

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RE: Bitter much? - 12/1/2008 4:23:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Kindness in a domina's profile wouldn't bring entirely nothing, Lady Hib.  It would bring someone like me at least, for what that's worth. 




Too bad theory doesn't translate well into reality, eh?



Hey Lady Hib.  If I can manage to be patient, so can you.  Having seen your profile, you won't need much of that.  AND you're the right side of the Atlantic for the best chances, unlike me, apparently.



Okay, NOW I am laughing!  Not kindly, but laughing!

/derail



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