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Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 7:41:18 PM

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I know it happens all the time anyways...but it seems to be an increasing occurance here..."submissve" men who bitch and bitch and bitch about how FemDommes, Professional and Lifestyle, are out to get them. I guess it's part of why I'm not on these boards as much lately.

It seems to me, just the casual observer, that men and women both get a pretty bitter streak when they can no longer manipulate a situation or a person in a way that they anticipated they could. And on this board, it particularly manifests itself from a guy who has a complaint about meeting requirements to get a Domme's attention.

Ladies, when approachng, or being approached, by these types of individuals, how do you feel? What would a positive encounter by someone who has a legit complaint look like? Does this type of complint make you wonder about your approach at all? Is there any legitimacy behind these complaints?

S-types reading...if you have made the complaint before, what would a positive experience look like in regard to having this conversation ( and don't say..."them not expecting x, y, and z")? Are these Ladies really expecting too much from common motrals such as ourselves?

Yes, I know I'm opening myself up to a bunch of stuff...given that my own opinion on this subject has been pretty clear in the past. Please take note that I may not respond much. My primary goal is to see the type of communiction that occurs here.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 7:49:16 PM

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I'm going to go read my domme university/troll fable... It is my new thing that helps me feel better when the bitch starts or I am reminded.

I do believe some have some valid points, but they are typically not coming in angry and simply state their case. I think it is the way they come across. Whinny... or all women do this and I hate it damn them... or respectfully requesting our input so that they can really understand. I have no problem discussing things or working with one another to understand each other, but that bitter attitude is something I won't try to work with because the past is going to over-ride anything I say.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 7:53:43 PM

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quote:

It seems to me, just the casual observer, that men and women both get a pretty bitter streak when they can no longer manipulate a situation or a person in a way that they anticipated they could. And on this board, it particularly manifests itself from a guy who has a complaint about meeting requirements to get a Domme's attention

I'm glad you started this thread, where one could give a perspective without directly responding to comments from angry/bitter folks.

I agree it is manifesting frequently, though am not sure it's anymore than perhaps all the other folks who came at dominant women from a different angle, albeit possibly same motivation of "I'm pissed off most of you don't seem to grasp I'm a real catch, having a penis, and offering it to you and all... You should be grateful!" I won't speak for dominant women in general, but for myself, the choice is that I will be with someone attractive (to me), and submissive to me, or I'm fine with being single. I even find it ridiculous that some defend their financial indepence, as if to convince an angry boy that he shouldn't be angry, because after all, we are just humans, and we work, succeed and fail like everyone else, and this is just another relationship.

I don't do angry/bitter people at all, having had my share of life experience, love, pain, hurt, loss... Even in my family, I try and keep a safe distance when I can't simply ignore them. M

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 7:54:32 PM

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So what you're saying is that if someone comes across bitter, then you feel that it is pointless to try and talk to them becuase they appear set in their beliefs about the topic? That there is no reasonable communication to occur as you won't really be heard?

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 7:56:08 PM

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Personally, I'm WAY to happy tonight to be bitchy about anything. (Mark your calenders.) I just met with two very nice sub males this weekend. One, my dear sweet doormat Wall-e and a new one that I just started talking to a short time ago. Both were darling in their own way.

What makes me bitter - as many already know - are the ones that can't seem to figure out that I'm a human being first and simply want to carry on a friendly conversation before jumping head first into kink. Or the ones who actually seem to be doing a good job being nice and friendly, then suddenly stop speaking or delete their accounts. Or the ones that seem SO EAGER make arrangements to meet and then don't show up. These same things happen so often that it's hard not to be skeptical of new subs trying to 'approach'. (I'm still not overly comfortable with that term. Just talk to me. I'm quite 'approachable'.)

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(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:04:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

So what you're saying is that if someone comes across bitter, then you feel that it is pointless to try and talk to them becuase they appear set in their beliefs about the topic? That there is no reasonable communication to occur as you won't really be heard?

Most of the time, yes. It seems a lot of the time their mind is set and at least until they calm down, in my experience they don't listen. I will try, but I will exit real quick if they answer a calm response, still angry.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:07:51 PM

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Good questions, boijen. I have to admit I've been thinking about the subject Meself today.

The ones that seem to shout the loudest are the "I'm willing to let you play with me" types. They really don't get how that isn't some miraculous find. Oh, and while they are at it, they want to get their dick wet. Sorry, I have no interest in that. If you're really that in love with your dick, I hope the two of you have a wonderful relationship with each other. I mean, I like casual play, but no where do I hint that I fuck My casual play partners. Everybody seems to think that a good flogging means they are entitled to get laid. Ummmmm, nope.

Here's another one for the manipulation book. I'm calling it the "submissive as long as it's something they like, want, or need" trend. As soon as actual authority comes up, everything is suddenly a hard limit. Again, thanks, but no thanks.

Personally, I don't have much in the way of meeting requirements. I enjoy meeting all kinds of people from here. It's not that hard for bottoms to meet Me. My only requirement is that you meet Me some place that I already plan on being, such as a lifestyle event or social. If that's too much to ask, I'd hate to think of how little they are willing to do in service.

I don't think the complaints are legitimate. Where I notice a lot of the bitterness from are those who expect morals to be tossed out the window just because folks are kinky. They expect Dominants to all be willing to do "discrete" sessions so the wives won't know or just want their fetishes catered to without paying someone specifically to do that. Then they complain that no one will do what they want.

Next.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:11:04 PM

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It's interesting, but I never actually get *approached* by these bitter guys that we see posting. Does anyone that posts here? There's endless ranting about fakes, how there is NO SCENE where they live (whoa, it is SO DULL everywhere, I guess), ad nauseaum, but the mail that I get is from folks who want to know what is going on in the area. Yeah, there is wanker mail, but none of it is whiny, complaining, or anything else like what we see here. There was ONE guy who wrote to me all huffy, and for the sake of his sweet smile (pictures DO count, boys!) I engaged him in conversation and got him out meeting some new people. I hope that he is still set up with them!

I see all kinds of bitter, mean spirited journal entries and profiles, and I have to wonder what response these people are expecting? I would certainly never approach someone who was "tired of all the fakes", especially since the new definition of "fake" is "someone who wouldn't go out with me".

Me, I'm plenty bitter, but I smile a lot!

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:14:47 PM

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When they are at the site for like two or three days, come in all angry because they can't get none... well... I have to laugh and then slam dunk... I do have some sadistic moments!

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:20:41 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

It's interesting, but I never actually get *approached* by these bitter guys that we see posting. Does anyone that posts here?

I see all kinds of bitter, mean spirited journal entries and profiles, and I have to wonder what response these people are expecting? I would certainly never approach someone who was "tired of all the fakes", especially since the new definition of "fake" is "someone who wouldn't go out with me".

Me, I'm plenty bitter, but I smile a lot!

<Raises hand.>

Yep.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:23:19 PM

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You're kidding, LP, the whiners write you? WHY? I mean, you're over 30, obviously you're only after their money.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:25:41 PM

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You'd laugh your ass off if I told you that you just hit the nail on the head.

You'd be amazed how many I get since I do have a married sub.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:28:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You're kidding, LP, the whiners write you? WHY? I mean, you're over 30, obviously you're only after their money.

I thought all the youngins wanted cash, and the 30+ crowd wanted to keep men chained in a chastity belt... or something?

I've got to brush up on my misogyny apparently.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:30:48 PM

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No, no, the 30 and overs want them in chastity, but we want their amex cards and stuffs!! The youngins want cash, and whatever else you young folks want these days, ipods and what-all.

Rickety Hib

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:34:16 PM

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Slightly off topic: misogyny as an explaination of bitterness....

I don't think these idnviduals are misogynsts. I think they love women and simply don't have a tolerance for situations they can't control either out right or by manipulation. I love women in general...I can't stand manipulative bitches. Or women that perceive as manpulative...until otherwise proven wrong. This doesn't make me a misogynst. Part of me believes that the bitterness specifically mentioned here is about the perception of the individual who is bitter....tht they are being manipulated...

Which brings up...how does ne go about chaging that perception in a productive manner?

If I have typos it's cuz we got a new keyboard.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:34:16 PM

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Sweet! I'm off to beat some poor guy until he buys me a wii!

(am I doin it right?)

On a serious note, I think many times the guy just has completely unrealistic expectations. You can't join a dating site, even if it is BDSM related, and expect to have hordes of women clamoring to get into your pants.

When you try to communicate with the whiny maletype that we're talking about here, it's not going to go anywhere. He's going to pout about pros, and how they are 99.9% of everyone on the other side. He's also going to complain about the "fat chicks", the women who want commitment, and Nigerian spammers. He wastes so much time complaining about people who obviously aren't in his range, that he annoys the women who might be interested.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 11/30/2008 8:39:47 PM >

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:35:23 PM

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if it works can ya get me one too? (a wii) I kinda promised one to MsK for x-mas...and since I brought up the topic.... lol

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:37:07 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

Sweet! I'm off to beat some poor guy until he buys me a wii!

(am I doin it right?)

See, I KNEW you could do it! Smart young thing like you.

Boijen, I really do not see all these guys as misogynists, but I do think that many of them are. They might not have started out that way, but that magic combination of real life and uncontrollable circumstance made them that way. Can they be changed? Maybe. I know that I am not going to be the one to do it.

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RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:37:29 PM

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Tell you what, I'll do the beating for free, and if someone has one to offer, you can have any wii that anyone is willing to give in tribute. I don't play video games. I just beat people for fun.

ETA.... I actually got told *again* today that I should go pro. Maybe getting boijen a wii could be My entrance. LOL.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 11/30/2008 8:39:23 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Bitter much? - 11/30/2008 8:39:05 PM

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If I get a wii out of anyone being beat then is that person being beat for fun? (my fun!) lol

(in reply to LadyPact)

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