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Daddy? - 8/8/2004 9:24:23 AM

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On another thread we were talking about how much (or little) things have changed in this life over the years. One change that I do notice is that the term "Daddy" instead of Dominant or Master has become far more common. When I started out, if someone said "My Daddy" it was a fairly safe bet that they were an age player ("spank me daddy" submissives, we used to call them). Anyone have any insight as to why "Daddy" has gained more currency in recent years?

Take care of yourselves

Leonidas

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 9:40:52 AM

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I can only speak for myself here Leonidas, but I do use the term Daddy myself. I think it is for several reasons.

1) It seems more "innocuous" than using "Master/Lord" or any derivatives of those words.
2) The feeling you get from using Daddy versus other "titles" set the dynamic for a "warmer" tone/tempo.
3) Since I am a FemDom and I have to use SOMETHING to call my bull, Daddy seems the most palatable for me.
4) In a more general sense, the Big Daddy/baby girl dynamic has become more "main stream" and even people with no affiliation to BDSM or D/s use it.

I did qualify this with "I speak for myself". . .and these (the first 3) are reasons *I* use the term "Daddy."

Cheers!

~Jules~

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(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 9:53:10 AM

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*tip toes quietly out of the room*

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RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 11:18:16 AM

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It could be that many younger women who are becoming involved in this lifestyle are looking for a father figure that is missing fom their lives. With single parent families being more common, having a "Daddy" who loves, controls and disciplines them could be exactly what they need.

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 11:53:43 AM

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I'm glad this has been posted. It's an idea that has moseyed around in my mind for the last few weeks. I find the whole idea of calling a Dom "Daddy" to be odd at best. I wouldn't want my Daddy to take me to bed. The whole idea makes me uncomfortable. I can certainly understand the desire for a father figure if one was lacking in your childhood. Girl children get their sense of self-worth from how their fathers view them. A loving, nurturing relationship between a daughter and father is essential. Men just don't understand the impact their absence makes on their children. I don't equate what goes on in a BDSM session with what I'd want in a daughter-Daddy relationship.

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dixiedumpling

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RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 12:05:16 PM

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Now I'm wondering if Donald Rumsfeld likes to be called "Daddy Warbucks"

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RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 12:16:17 PM

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Actually dixie, I think that the need for a father in a childs' life is discouraged these days. Women are taught that it is fine to have a child on their own, and many do. It's another example of putting your own needs before your childs'.
Obviously Daddy- daughter relationships shouldn't involve sex in real life. But I have known a few women in this lifestyle that loved to play that fantasy.

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 12:42:23 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leonidas
Anyone have any insight as to why "Daddy" has gained more currency in recent years?

I think it's a trend thing. Who's your daddy? and all the gansta lingo that goes with that.

It's been huge in the dyke community with bull dykes being called Daddy Dykes.

Personally, if a sub boy or girl called me mommy I think I would laugh my ass off at them and send them home.

- LA

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RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 1:22:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dixiedumpling

I'm glad this has been posted. It's an idea that has moseyed around in my mind for the last few weeks. I find the whole idea of calling a Dom "Daddy" to be odd at best. I wouldn't want my Daddy to take me to bed. The whole idea makes me uncomfortable. I can certainly understand the desire for a father figure if one was lacking in your childhood. Girl children get their sense of self-worth from how their fathers view them. A loving, nurturing relationship between a daughter and father is essential. Men just don't understand the impact their absence makes on their children. I don't equate what goes on in a BDSM session with what I'd want in a daughter-Daddy relationship.

"Daddy" in this context is not quite the same as "Father", dixie. At least not according to my understanding of it. Athough to some it may be. As I understand it, it's more of an authority figure, the one who administers the love and/or the punishment. It has every bit of the love and respect, but none of the social attachments of "Father". When I ask one of my males, "Who's your Daddy?" They don't hesitate and stutter their father's name, lol.

They respond "You are, Mistress"

< Message edited by LadyBeckett -- 8/8/2004 1:37:03 PM >

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(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 1:35:19 PM

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I know the term Daddy is used in the Gay community here in Ft.Lauderdale. Most of the gay men I know who are in the Lifestyle look for that someone to take care of them.
As the gay leather communities here grow's I see the term used more often.

Malice
http://www.mastermalice.com

(in reply to Leonidas)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 7:22:32 PM

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LadyBeckett,
I understand the sugar Daddy conatation. And I see Your point about an authority figure. I had NO relationship with my father, good or bad. He was there, but was old, sick and grumpy my whole childhood. I know all about the searching that young women do looking to fill that need for approval from men that they didn't get from their fathers. Now, then, why would I want to think about that by referring to my Dom as Daddy? I feared that man all my childhood. I don't want to fear my Dom.

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dixiedumpling

My mind is no place to play alone. Anna Pigeon as written by Nevada Barr

(in reply to LadyBeckett)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 8:48:42 PM

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Well I could go into a long rant about this but I'm just not in the mood...perhaps later. What I will say is that it is a different type of situation than the "sugar daddy" or even the ideas or memory of their own father really. I look at my subs like children even though in many times they are older than Myself so it couldn't really be an age play thing for Me or them. It is just an entirely different way of doing and acting on things as opposed to the M/s or lovers type mentality. For someone not of that thinking it may seem odd but things often are.

(in reply to dixiedumpling)

RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 8:53:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: afmvdp

I look at my subs like children even though in many times they are older than Myself so it couldn't really be an age play thing for Me or them.

Age play generally has little to do with relative chronological age, at least for me. Someone can have "daddy" energy and be younger than me. Someone can have "little girl energy" and be older than me.

"Daddy" energy is unique - protective, nurturing, authoritative, tutorial, etc. - but isn't not generally about whether or not someone is older than me. It's genderless for me too....women can have "daddy" energy just like men can.

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RE: Daddy? - 8/8/2004 8:57:21 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

It could be that many younger women who are becoming involved in this lifestyle are looking for a father figure that is missing fom their lives. With single parent families being more common, having a "Daddy" who loves, controls and disciplines them could be exactly what they need.

I had a 2 parent family (my parents didn't divorce til I was long moved out), and always had (and have) a great relationship with my father. That doesn't stop me from responding to "daddy" energy though. I'm not looking for anything that was missing. Perhaps I'm trying to recapture that whole "perfect little princess" thing, though I doubt it. For me, it's just an energy that can be really fun to play with sometimes. I don't think it has anything to do with my "formative" years.

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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 8:11:55 AM

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Couldn't agree more Sherri.

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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 1:56:31 PM

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quote:

*tip toes quietly out of the room*

Yet just loud enough for everyone to hear.

(M'Lady, why are picking up that padd, ow ouch ow.

)

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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 2:12:46 PM

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Estring,

quote:

I think that the need for a father in a childs' life is discouraged these days

As a divorced father I must agree. Think Disney movies. Dad, if he is around, sleeps in a chair while the TV shows Buzz Lightyear he really is a toy, or is slightly daft like Belle's father in Beauty and the Beast.

(I say as a divorced dad because I never noticed this before the divorce.)

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When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to Estring)

RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 3:14:10 PM

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quote:

Estring

It could be that many younger women who are becoming involved in this lifestyle are looking for a father figure that is missing fom their lives. With single parent families being more common, having a "Daddy" who loves, controls and disciplines them could be exactly what they need.

My Parents are still together after nearly 50 years and I have a wonderful relationship with my Father, who I see and speak to regularly.

quote:

Estring

Obviously Daddy- daughter relationships shouldn't involve sex in real life. But I have known a few women in this lifestyle that loved to play that fantasy.

The word 'Daddy' isnt a problem for me as I do not see it as sexual(within my dynamic)... I call my husband such at times as it comes naturally and there is no dynamic of 'Daddy/daughter' within our relationship. He is purely the Man I submit to.
In my 'world'... the One I submit to is my Father, for He nurtures and helps create who I am... bringing out my potential with and by His Will

quote:

Estring

Actually dixie, I think that the need for a father in a childs' life is discouraged these days. Women are taught that it is fine to have a child on their own, and many do.

I am a woman. I am married. I have two children. And I totally agree, that it is discouraged. I personally believe that having a positive male role model (as well as female) for children is absolutely essential.

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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 3:43:01 PM

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i absolutly agree Ma'am. i always adorded calling my Dom "Daddy it was playful and endearing. no confusion here .. smiles

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RE: Daddy? - 8/9/2004 3:45:27 PM

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I wonder if it's not "why are some Doms called Daddy" but why are some submissives drawn to being called little girl, or little one, or daughter, little princess or any name or role that suits your fancy.

When the air is blowing right my husband and I call each other Mommy and Daddy. We don't have children yet, it's just how we refer to eachother at times. And I love it. But when he calls me "short stuff" or "little girl" it feels completely different. It's no change for him, he's still Husband...but it's a HUGE change for me. It gives me all the same feelings others have mentioned, being safe and nutured, and also adds that flip in my stomach because now I'm that little girl and he's the adult who gets to make all the adult descisions for that particular time.

Of course this is a little biased towards the submissive side, since I am one. I don't know how it makes him feel. But it's just a thought.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

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