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RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 12:38:49 PM

FRSguy

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For me personally its just a matter of me being a really rough fuck. In my vanilla life I had incredible problems finding a woman I could have sex with. I like to really enjoy myself and quit frankly if I really open up I can honestly say that the woman is going to get hurt. Now, some women really love that quality in a guy… most don’t. The same is true in BDSM play. If I open up and really utilize a woman the way I prefer its gonna fucking hurt. Again, some women really love that quality in a guy and some really despise it. Its just me being me and I think it is my responsibility to seek out woman that enjoy being treated the way I enjoy treating them. As far as in a scene, especially a public one, its me having fun with my girl. Other girls don’t matter. I’m not playing with them at all nor do I care. If I decide to publicly display how my woman can satisfy my cravings and my woman does satisfy my cravings completely then what can I really say about the woman that would be unable to satisfy me because its not like I am giving them the chance to prove it anyways. Complaints going sub to sub are pointless and meaningless and carry no weight at all. I would never allow my sub to satisfy another sub. Use them for her pleasure perhaps but never to satisfy. If a sub or a dom has a problem with my union then that is totally their fucking problem and it would remain that way. Sub to sub opinions are completely pointless and carry no value whatsoever.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 41

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 2:09:20 PM

stella41b

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From: SW London (UK)
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I'm neither a masochist or a pain slut, hence I don't perceive myself as such and have no wish to do so. However I do accept pain and physical domination as part of my submission.

I subscribe to the theory that pain is a 'state of mind', that a pain threshold is more psychological and emotional than physical, and is therefore somewhat elastic in nature and requires only willpower to be developed.

I don't enjoy pain, I accept it, it's just part of my submission. Nothing more.

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Post #: 42

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 2:12:13 PM

girlygurl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

I subscribe to the theory that pain is a 'state of mind', that a pain threshold is more psychological and emotional than physical, and is therefore somewhat elastic in nature and requires only willpower to be developed.

WOW Stella! Very well said. I've never looked at it like that before but I must agree with you.

girly

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Post #: 43

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 2:39:22 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
“Pain tolerance....pfffffttttt.” seems to discount people that value pain sluts. Perhaps you can explain exactly what you did mean by that parting shot if it was to imply something else?

Thank you for asking. What I meant by it is that I don't believe that pain tolerance should be held up as a standard that would indicate an overall level of value that needs to be strived for or emulated as that particular characteristic certainly does not represent the total, or even most important value of that person. ………

That seems very clear if what you are saying is that individual attributes or talents do not take precedence over the general character attributes for you, I understand.

I like some physical traits like pain tolerance or big tits but I do not confuse them with or let them take precedence over someone’s character when it comes to relationship requirements . . . except that one time in band camp. However, there are others that will not accept a girl that is not a pain slut or one without big tits. I accept that their values are valid. In the US we had 399,440 breast augmentation surgeries in 2007 and over 10 million cosmetic procedures performed. Physical attributes seem to hold a value in this country whether it is pain tolerance or conformity to beauty stereotypes.

I am a most sincere sadist and my pleasures are not derived from physical pain alone nor does physical pain alone define a masochist. I like suffering in all its many flavors, be it physical, mental or emotional. However, I know more than one masochist that takes pain pills before going to a public dungeon so they can raise their physical pain thresholds. I have known more than one slave/sub/Domme that had a boob job. It seems physical appeal is a hard thing to resist and people will medicate themselves and have surgery to achieve their personal goals and make themselves more alluring. I fear the standards you suggest we change will remain in place for some time to come.

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Post #: 44

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 2:54:49 PM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
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From: S.E. London U.K.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I like some physical traits like pain tolerance .....

I like suffering in all its many flavors, be it physical, mental or emotional.

You'd be a better sadist if you picked someone with a low pain tolerance, this would seem logical.

If the person was paralysed from the waist down and you were beating her legs as hard as you could, she'd feel nothing. This is the highest pain tolerance you could ever expect to find. Seems people are missing a trick if they are seeking high pain tolerance. IMOSHOx5

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Post #: 45

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:00:47 PM

persephonee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kaiaTimoty

Tis interesting...the community i live in there is no notice of such that is mentioned...no pain tolerance revered.
Another noticeable here is this one sees alot of "I" ..."me"...."I"..."me"....seemingly about the submissive....when here it is Him...He....Master...tis about one's Master.

Yeah, all that would be true if everyone had a Master and if everyones Master were a sadist....for some of the *i's* and *me's*....its about being a heavy bottom...and to further that idea, there isnt anything wrong with any of those catagories....
Everyone has their own hobby...mine happens to be being able to take a hit. Frankly, im just kind of proud of myself these days. Until such a time as i submit to a beating simply because my owner wishes it to happen, *i'll* take em where i can get em.

< Message edited by persephonee -- 12/19/2008 3:01:18 PM >

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Post #: 46

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:06:33 PM

kiwisub12

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My Sir is a sadist - he likes inflicting pain - and someone with a low pain tolerance doesn't take him to where he wants to be. He gets a high out of being able to "cut loose" so to speak. Some of what he enjoys is duration of play - which means he needs someone who can endure what he hands out. And his foreplay is not much of a warm-up - He likes to forego the floggers and go straight to the canes or single-tail.

However i acknowledge that when playing this trait doesn't make him better or worse than someone who is more into sensation play - just right for me

.

(in reply to Raechard)

Post #: 47

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:12:51 PM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
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humm dunno

If someone can tolerate the pain then he isn't inflecting it is he no matter how long the duration? Everyone has their own scale of pain, someone else’s pain isn’t my pain and I could never describe my pain to someone else or compare it to theirs. The only comparison that could ever be made in that way is if two subs are being dealt the same pain by the same Dominant I suppose.

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えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

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Post #: 48

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:28:39 PM

persephonee

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Joined: 12/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
I like some physical traits like pain tolerance .....

I like suffering in all its many flavors, be it physical, mental or emotional.

You'd be a better sadist if you picked someone with a low pain tolerance, this would seem logical.

If the person was paralysed from the waist down and you were beating her legs as hard as you could, she'd feel nothing. This is the highest pain tolerance you could ever expect to find. Seems people are missing a trick if they are seeking high pain tolerance. IMOSHOx5

i dont think anyone on the planet needs to be told how to be a "better sadist"...a person is as sadistic or as whatever...as they are. No better or worse, but i do think that very few would really want to be dating the actual Marquis....(necro's aside, i have to assume)...so, yeah, a hardcore sadist might really want someone who would truly suffer...but hed only get to play the one time, unless he finds Bubba to be a maso once the "weal" sadist is incarcerated...
i know there is nothing i want to hear less in scene than the toys being put away because he's decided that i cant take any more...unless, its that guilt filled question...."are you ok?"....Hell, no, im not okay!....im in pain!....Ask me in about 30 minutes and all youll get in response is a few giggles and a request for some of your brownie.

i want nothing more than to give whoever is topping me exactly as much as he needs to reach whatever peak he wants to reach. If i couldnt take the pain...and i cant all the time or with just anyone, i would feel like i had let him down...after he just gave me everything i needed in that same scene.

A hardcore sadist would want a painslut in the same way a heavy weight boxing champion would want an equal opponent...afterall, its only fun til someone puts their eye out.

Sidenote....suggesting ways for RS to be a better sadist and then rolling your eyes... is truly masochistic....kudos!

...

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Raechard)

Post #: 49

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:48:57 PM

Raechard

Posts: 3513
Joined: 3/10/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee
Sidenote....suggesting ways for RS to be a better sadist and then rolling your eyes... is truly masochistic....kudos!

...

Well not really he is on the other side of the world believe it or not.

"

" /= eye rolling, as far as I'm concerned.

_____________________________

えへまにんへえや
Nobody wants to listen to the same song over and over again!

(in reply to persephonee)

Post #: 50

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 3:59:21 PM

persephonee

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Joined: 12/15/2007
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prolly a good thing all around, im just snowed in and the cage match was cancelled on pay-per-view.....

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to Raechard)

Post #: 51

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 4:03:15 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

I've been told I have a good tolerance for pain though wish it were higher. I may envy those with higher pain tolerance but I don't look up to them nor feel jealous.

On the other side, it's GREAT to find someone who can take pain. On the other hand, if you can't defeat them (so to speak) by actually making them bow out or say no more, it sort of is a buzz kill. Prime example would be last week at the club, after my friend and I were done playing we chatted with him and he ended up wanting to be flogged. He said those magic words "Hit me as hard as you can" and actually meant it! So many times people think they can take it and then whimp out in the middle, just when you're getting into it.

Anyway, I flogged him, my friend flogged him AND we whipped him. With full strength, too people. I think I damn near pulled a muscle. And even after that the reaction was minimal. I like screams, squirms I want to SEE the pain. And he just wanted more and more and more and more. And when it was finally break time...he was acting as if it was a walk in the park! Then, maybe an hour or so later he was back for more! This time he was beaten on the ass with wooden spoons by THREE people. He left with a bloody ass...but that's it. After all of that he barely cracked. It was both insanely enjoyable to be able to hit full force but also a bit disappointing that I didn't get the reactions I liked.

I could not have a a submissive like that long term, it would drive me nuts. Yes, be able to take the hard pain but if you're some robo-man who never gives in or buckles then it gets boring. I'd rather someone who had a good pain tolerance who can be pushed more and more on my whim than someone who can take all pain and there is nowhere to push them.

< Message edited by Usako -- 12/19/2008 4:04:05 PM >

(in reply to Raechard)

Post #: 52

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 4:25:38 PM

utopicus

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Joined: 8/27/2008
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You are absolutely right - is at least frivolous to appreciate a sub on their pain tolerance. It is - as always - the inner beauty, virtuosity, that should prevail.
Pain threshold is a skill acquired over a certain length of time; it is elevated with one's experience.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 53

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 4:37:47 PM

Aynne88

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Joined: 8/29/2008
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Stella you wonderful thing, once again I agree with you. The first time we played (god I hate that word) but anyway..the first time he flogged me I had no idea how much I could take, it was not just the first time with him, it was the first time ever really having pain inflicted on me, I was shocked that he stopped before I wanted him to because my skin was breaking. I hated that, I was loving the intensity of it, the emotions, the entire ordeal. It was amazing. I didn't even make a sound, except for some moaning. He came over and lifted my face from the table and looked at me to make certain that I was alright and he stopped because the blood was beading up on my skin. Who knows why some of us have a higher pain tolerance? If I get a bee sting I cry, if He flogs me to bleeding I am in ecstasy. Don't worry about it, don't revel in it, and don't give yourselves accolades or praise over being able to take it. You really don't know until you are in that moment. We are all so different. When I go to the dentist I need way more novacaine than most people, perhaps that redhead pain thing is true, who knows. It is just a dynamic between two people, and like Aileen said earlier, that is why I hate public play. I have no one to impress or be submissive to but Him. I don't think it is "pain tolerance" as much as I think it is suffering gladly for the one that owns you and just giving what you want to give. When I lose myself in his ministrations, I am so fucking happy. Don't overthink this people. You give what you have to the one that you love, and that makes it beautiful.

Quote]ORIGINAL: stella41b

I'm neither a masochist or a pain slut, hence I don't perceive myself as such and have no wish to do so. However I do accept pain and physical domination as part of my submission.

I subscribe to the theory that pain is a 'state of mind', that a pain threshold is more psychological and emotional than physical, and is therefore somewhat elastic in nature and requires only willpower to be developed.

I don't enjoy pain, I accept it, it's just part of my submission. Nothing more.
[/quote]

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(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 54

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 4:49:27 PM

Aszhrae

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Mine is on the high side depending on what is being done to me. Numerous sets of 100 licks of a leather strap, though will inevitably cause surface bruising, it will not prevent me from moving about normally. The same could said about my thighs and back. However, the slap of the hand may make me writhe to get away, the same can be said afterwards when it is requested for more. Just can not seem to get enough and it really never phases. Needles through the skin or anything else for that matter.
Only have one pain intolerance that would be towards being burned or branded, but that is believed to be instinctive. Not sure there is any animal that does not fear fire or being burned by fire.
Such a tolerance towards discomfort and pain in my experience is a personal strength.
If you only knew what girl used to do to herself by my own hand, it might make someone a little squeamish or label me sick or insane.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 55

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 6:56:57 PM

oceanwynds

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This was an interesting thread for me to read. Never crossed my mind that one over another was to be revered.

Thanks mistoferin for posting this question.

oceanwynds

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Post #: 56

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 7:54:57 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

I think that it is a good and fine thing to feel that way on a personal level. I believe that it becomes a problem though when we view it in a light that it makes us "better than" or "more valuable" than the next person.

Sure, I can certainly get on board with that.
I also agree where you mentioned that it probably isn't the best criterion to use in seeking a partner - - - although there are always those rare exceptions to just about every rule.

I've been lucky enough that my partners have been an intriguing combination of tender and yet tougher than me in some ways, on occasion.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 57

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 8:51:48 PM

Aszhrae

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Reality is probably a very important factor to take into consideration, especially when it comes to pain and how fast you heal.
When girl was younger, girl drive nails through my hand. When you are younger, you heal faster. Girl knows that girl could do it again, but girl doesn't because girl does not heal as fast as girl used too. Reality is a bitch, she must be related to Karma.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 58

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 9:48:50 PM

leakylee

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Joined: 7/2/2004
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i guess there maybe a slight degree of reverence around here for the higher pain tolerances, but honestly i think alot more of it comes from what the hell we are doing. most of the masochists i know are very heavy players. they throw some incredible energy, that will literally such people into thier scenes whether they want to or not. a good scene you can nearly feed of. most have thrown those inhibitions out the door, along with most of thier modesty. alot of us have a much larger sense of freedom, even if we are fakin ya out. so what is really being seen? is it just the pain tolerance, or is that all they can put thier finger on at that moment??

and to be honest if after all that the pain tolerance is all they are impressed, well then they aint payin a whole lot of attention. might need a bit of spiritual deposits, or something.

lee

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Post #: 59

RE: High pain tolerance....why is it revered? - 12/19/2008 9:49:31 PM

IronBear

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The only person I compete against here mostly and in many other areas is myself. IK set the bar and then keep tryiung to better it. This is called seeking perfection and self improvement. At times I may compere on how many needles I can place in a subject but this also depends on the subject's pain threshold and endurance. It's a team thing. Of I may compete on artistic decorations using needles etc. Mostly I want some one with a high pain tollerance for needle play or genital torture.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 60

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