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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 5:53:04 AM

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Arrogance without substance is just bluster. Arrogance born of confidence and ability is completely different.

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(in reply to JustDarkness)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 5:53:20 AM

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There are differant types of arrogance JustDarkness, some arrogance is in fact justified, the opposite of arrogance is self doubt and that can be a very repulsive quality true that arrogance can be too (only when unjustified though) the thing is extremes of anything can be off putting.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 5:55:22 AM

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mmm yes. That is true. It is all not that black and white. There are propably levels.

soem can be rightfull arrogant...some have nothing to be arrogant about.

good points Orion and colouredin

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 1/5/2009 5:56:21 AM >

(in reply to colouredin)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 6:07:26 AM

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Exactly where I was about to go with My comment.

One person's arrogance is another person's confidence. A lot depends on context, perception, and other factors of interpretation. A particular comment from someone can be heard by two different people and seen as arrogant by one and a statement of confidence to another. Those who are drawn to strong, confident personalities don't see them as arrogant.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 7:18:14 AM

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Personally, I believe that the more unconfident a person is, the more they see confidence as arrogance. At least that has been my experience.

Oh, and to settle the asshole argument, consider it a generic pet name for all you guuuuyyys I cannot help but kinda like. So there.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/5/2009 7:19:48 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 8:24:10 AM

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General comment:

I think this has taken a different direction than the context in which the OP was speaking. I don't agree with what the op had to say, because I believe that the arrogance he was talking about happens everywhere on the internet and has nothing to do with doms specifically, and if people can't deal with it, they should turn off their computers.

But the other kind of arrogance, I don't mean an arrogant reply on a message board, I mean people who generally behave in an arrogant manner, does strike me as underlying insecurity most of the time. I will admit having drawn my share of arrogant asshole men because there's something sexy about it on the surface-level, but arrogant people don't usually function well in relationships, and often, the arrogance turns out to be born of self-doubt that seems to infiltrate the relationship when the "arrogant" dom needs constant ego boosting. But Confidence is another story. And I really don't see a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance is easy enough to spot because it's cocky, deliberate and pretentious. Confidence on the other hand, doesn't come off as obnoxiousness or something that has to be pointed out to anyone. I'd take a confident dom any day over an arrogant one.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 8:32:57 AM

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Marie, that is very possible. I think that there is a difference and yet, it seems to be all in the perception.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 10:12:41 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteveAndJaz

We are in no position to "tell" other dominants they are doing it wrong or have not earned the status as master.

quote:

These forums are for questions and discussions. If you or I have something constructive and pertinent to add to a thread then we should, otherwise don't be arrogant or superior.

Steve.

You are in no position to to tell me not to be arrogant or superior.

Just sayin'.

Jaz says
Who on earth told you not to be arrogant or superior???

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 10:45:39 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness
Just curious..those defending arrogance...are they accused often beeing arrogant?

If you really are good in what you do..then there is no need for arrogance,not? Just be yourself and people will notice you are in your trade..

Oh yes, I am definitely arrogant.

There is no need for a lot of things, if I AM an arrogant person, then being myself includes being arrogant.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 12:35:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

Just curious..those defending arrogance...are they accused often beeing arrogant?

Well, my post wasn't really defending arrogance - personally, I couldn't care less whether or not a poster appears 'arrogant' - interesting is interesting, regardless of delivery.

You will be absolutely amazed to hear that I've been accused of being arrogant - surprising eh - I suppose everyone has his/her cross to bear. Often? No.

As a poster pointed out, it's all very subjective.

I find the cultural differences to be interesting. In England, cynicism, sarcasm, and piss taking are bred in the bone, and this brand of humour doesn't travel particularly well (I'm not saying that we're more sarcastic, but we seem to place a higher value on sarcasm and thus more of us use it more often than others). Plus, we rarely smile or laugh when exchanging banter (by extension we don't tend to use smilies etc on a message board), which leads to foreigners not knowing whether we're being serious or joking. Most of the time it's tongue in cheek - call it reciprocal gift exchanging because we expect it coming back our way and that's pretty much the way we bond and flirt with another.

I'm not convinced that you can reasonably claim a poster is arrogant without understanding that person and watching the body language - I tend to look upon such labels as a means of group bonding and excluding, rather than any meaningful insight into the person on the receiving end.

On this board, I just don't see arrogance at all. A few heated exchanges now and again.....but you can't go 'round putting yourself upfront as the knowledge warrior and expect others to not nail their colours to the mast and stand their ground.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 1:37:56 PM

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~ Fast Reply ~

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness
Just curious..those defending arrogance...are they accused often beeing arrogant?

If you really are good in what you do..then there is no need for arrogance,not? Just be yourself and people will notice you are in your trade..

I'm not arrogant; I'm truthful, forthright, direct, and don't require any outside validation. I don't shade my opinion based upon another's arrogant definition of appropriateness.

This is me being the me that fulfills your; "just be yourself" mandate. Arrogant enough to not need, or care if people notice. Sadistic enough to take advantage of any 'mind-fuck' opportunity provided coming from consensual, masochistic posters, or non-consensual posers.

Am I a different person in real life? Well, that depends on the reference source. If you ask beth she'll say I'm a kind, gentle, giving, sensitive, empathetic person in real life; and if she ever dares say anything else - her ass is out the door!

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 1:41:45 PM

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quote:

I'm not convinced that you can reasonably claim a poster is arrogant without understanding that person and watching the body language

Yes..true. I think a lott of arrogance is propably made up in the readers mind. (at Northerngents)

quote:

I'm not arrogant; I'm truthful, forthright, direct, and don't require any outside validation

I will accept a direct answer sooner when brought not arrogant. Direct and not beeing arrogant is a strong combination.

quote:

If you ask beth she'll say I'm a kind, gentle, giving, sensitive, empathetic person in real life; and if she ever dares say anything else - her ass is out the door!

lol. I think she will agree ;)

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 1/5/2009 1:47:09 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 7:11:14 PM

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Oh god, but Dominants are arrogant because naughty little subbies eat it up like candy. What is as attractive as an man or woman who acts all aloof and superior and is convinced they are always right. Then they spank your bottom red and toy with you because they can and they know they deserve to play with you?

Or maybe that's me drifting into the lands of fantasy.

But, in reference to your question. Some people are assholes who refuse to believe THEY could ever be wrong. The ever arrogant Dom/me is attractive in theory, but impossible to get along with if they never accept their own faults.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 7:15:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Oh, and to settle the asshole argument, consider it a generic pet name for all you guuuuyyys I cannot help but kinda like. So there.

I am thinking it is rather arrogant of you to have a generic pet name for all us when we are all arrogantly unique assholes!!!

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 7:22:41 PM

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I really believe there is a difference between arrogance and dominant.
Some dominants express arrogance in how they demand automatic respect without having actually earned that respect.
Then there are others that express their dominance in such a way that you can not help your self but respect what it is they want.
For some sub/slaves they may find being treated as meat a welcomed treatment.
Personally, I find the tone of a dominant within their text (as I can sense it) much more desirable than a dominant that expresses themselves as some divine entity's gift to humanity.
Respect is not freely given, it has to be earned.
But with some, I just feel that I should grant them some respect.

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 7:46:34 PM

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Speaking of arrogance....

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
Most of the time it's tongue in cheek - .

Who are you kidding? Most of the time it's dick in ass.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/5/2009 11:33:35 PM

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Something to ponder...

An arrogant cog in the machine is never taken seriously and always seems out of place, but an arrogant 800 lbs gorilla is accepted without a seconds thought. A parable.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/6/2009 1:13:24 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Something to ponder...

An arrogant cog in the machine is never taken seriously and always seems out of place, but an arrogant 800 lbs gorilla is accepted without a seconds thought. A parable.

that is because of fear lol...I don't notice arrogance then :P
It is hard to notice arrogance with your back towards them and running like hell...lol

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 1/6/2009 1:14:03 AM >

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/6/2009 7:25:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

Something to ponder...

An arrogant cog in the machine is never taken seriously and always seems out of place, but an arrogant 800 lbs gorilla is accepted without a seconds thought. A parable.

Then you need to start putting on weight. I'll send you some cookies.

(in reply to Padriag)

RE: The Arrogance behind dominants - 1/6/2009 7:38:21 PM

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I see you still know how to charm me.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to MissAnimus)

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