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RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 2:33:09 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		One moment of attemped humiliation would have his butt on the train--unacceptable behavior.

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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 2:57:51 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
I am just asking a question would you stay in the relationship and would you still respect him for dis respecting you!!!!


Your question is invalid, as it assumes a series of events that most people here would not choose.  It is like saying, if you cracked open your dom's head, and you took him to the hospital, would you say he got hit by a hit & run driver or would you give a false name at the hospital since you don't have insurance.

Most people would say, "I would never hit my dom"... but that doesn't answer your question.

I would certainly address his behavior and what he was saying to me, but going "tit for tat" on it solves nothing.  It certainly isn't a mature nor an effective means of working out problems.


Cali


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(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 3:01:36 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

No you’re not being played with. Just asking how you would react towards your dom, if you tried to degrade you was the question and you turned the tables on him. You refused to let him have the power over you. Lets face facts some doms like to humiliate their subbie/slaves.


If he tried to degrade me in a way that was genuinely causing me emotional harm, I'd talk to him about it like a mature adult and try to resolve the issue (why did he say those things? why couldn't I give over that power? what are our boundries? etc) and preserve the relationship.

But it sounds like you've both totally lost respect for each other at this point, so I doubt you can salvage things.

< Message edited by graceadieu -- 1/13/2009 3:02:50 PM >

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 3:30:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I would not return. It would be the end of the relationship.

I don't try to turn tables, I don't rebel, I don't fight back. If I did then I would be the one in control and that holds no interest for me whatsoever. If I can easily manipulate him then we're obviously incompatible and I would think that maybe he should think of switching or changing roles.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 3:32:08 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~
Wow, obviously someone was left home alone today and decided to play on the puter

If this is even close to being true then you both need to grow up and stop acting like 10 yr olds.

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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 4:36:41 PM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline 		If humiliation was not part of our agreement, I can see where your anger got the best of you.  I don't think I could look at him the same though, but that is just me.  My former Dom cried when I left him.  But it was because he was caught in his lies and could not think of another one fast enough to pacify me.  When the end finally came, it was not pretty for either of us.  I loved him with all my heart and soul~~the betrayal though was enough to let it go.  It depends on how much you love him to start with whether or not you continue.  I guess I would want to know "what" made him actually cry.  I don't think a Dom that is capable of shedding tears is any less a Dom, so it is hard to say...it all depends on the situation.  Sorry, I don't think I was much help at all...Good luck to you..


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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 5:51:59 PM   
MasterTslave


Posts: 200
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline 		I would say that a "true" slave/sub would not "turn the tables"...I would say that was more the work of a "switch"...JMO.
Master T has cried before...not during our training or play....but when he has been really upset...it is human and only a jack ass refuses to cry ever...think ass of the world-they don't cry.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 5:59:51 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

Some doms like to humiliate their subbie/slaves, and make them cry. I had an experienced with a dom where as when he started to try to put me down and I rebelled and turned the tables on the dom, he started to cry. So tell me subbies/slaves how would you handle this matter. Could you still respect your dom?  How would this reflect on your relationship?



That situation would not have happened for me to handle. If the humiliation was not agreed upon then the adult thing for me to do is sit and have an adult to adult conversation to prevent that happening again.

I'd be upset at my dom yet I would lose some self respect for myself because I know better than to use immature tactics to get back on him for breaking his word.


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(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 6:11:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterTslave
...it is human and only a jack ass refuses to cry ever...think ass of the world-they don't cry.


I'm going to disagree with you.  I cannot cry.  I have tried in order to get the release... but the tears are just stoppered within me.

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 6:17:02 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		Yep...the only time I cry is for "old Yellar"Now thats a tear jerker....but cry over something my sub said..In a Pigs eye!!! But I did cry when my Dad died june24th at 5 am, and when I recieved the call that my grandmother died 3 days befor x-mas this year so I guess I'm normal enough

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 6:24:44 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterTslave

I would say that a "true" slave/sub would not "turn the tables"...I would say that was more the work of a "switch"...JMO.
Master T has cried before...not during our training or play....but when he has been really upset...it is human and only a jack ass refuses to cry ever...think ass of the world-they don't cry.


Really, "the work of a switch"; really?!  Switch does not equal someone who tops from the bottom, you are in error. 
  Davan

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(in reply to MasterTslave)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 7:13:24 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Obviously you do not know how to communicate in a low key manner. Me? I wouldn't be in a relationship where either party felt that nonconsensual abuse was acceptable. I hope he decided quickly that you are a toxic person, and has since recovered.

We honor and respect each other. That includes times when I'm over his knee, screeching in pain. At no time do I ever need to defend myself from him nor attack him to prevent myself being open and vulnerable.

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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 7:33:42 PM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline 		Respect is an integral part of friendships, and an even more integral part of relationships. Without it both are nothing more than an illusion.

(in reply to Carmeldelight)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 9:48:49 PM   
FetishRose


Posts: 212
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I am a fighter; I am a bitch; I am a smartass.
I have a terrible habit of snapping back with comments when I am in a snotty mood.
However...I realize that this is my failing as a submissive, and I work on it.
If I allowed myself to turn the tables that bad, I wouldn't be able to call myself a submissive, and I would be terribly ashamed of my actions.  I may not always agree with a dom, but if I have chosen to be theirs, I respect them too much to do that.
If they don't own me, nothing anyone could say would humiliate me bad enough to cause that reaction.  I'd just tell them to step off and walk away.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/13/2009 11:33:36 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight
I am just asking a question would you stay in the relationship and would you still respect him for dis respecting you!!!!


Your question is invalid, as it assumes a series of events that most people here would not choose.  It is like saying, if you cracked open your dom's head, and you took him to the hospital, would you say he got hit by a hit & run driver or would you give a false name at the hospital since you don't have insurance.

Most people would say, "I would never hit my dom"... but that doesn't answer your question.

I would certainly address his behavior and what he was saying to me, but going "tit for tat" on it solves nothing.  It certainly isn't a mature nor an effective means of working out problems.


Cali



Bingo, to both points.


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(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/14/2009 4:29:52 AM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		If i said *anything* to my Master that made Him feel hurt, especially if it moved him to tears -- i would feel horrible and i would hope that He would punish me for my lack of respect. Humiliation is not part of our dynamic, on either side. Even when i am unhappy about something, i just do not express myself in nasty ways, always with the understanding that my respect for Him must show.


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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/14/2009 4:49:39 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

I am just asking a question would you stay in the relationship and would you still respect him for dis respecting you!!!!

it would depend on your definition on what "disrepecting "means to you since it would mean something totally different to me.  i define disrespect as anyone who's not Daddy calling me the n-word (or any other racial slur) to bitch, cunt etc etc.

on the flipside, Daddy does call me His bitch, His cunt, His slut etc etc - now that's not disrespect to me because He uses those words as terms of endearment.  see the difference.

oh btw He would never use any racial slur to humiliate me ...He has that much respect and love for me.

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/14/2009 4:58:54 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		  I have a little bit of suspicion that the initial "disrespect" on the part of the dom may have been greatly exaggerated. I don't consider humiliation that takes place outside of the bedroom to be anything even vaguely related to "humiliation play". If he called me a slut in an argument, it'd be an entirely different beast than if he called me that to "humiliate" me.

   I believe any relationship where the parties involved feel the need to hurt each other to the point of tears is one that is seriously damaged....I don't know your dom, but I haven't met very many men who were overly emotional...I imagine your "turning-the-tables" tirade of anger and abuse probably lasted for some time. At this point, you've entirely lost any respect you ever had for him (and it must not have been much).

    If I had behaved so badly as to make someone cry, I would have to step out of that relationship until I got my own volatile emotions under control...someone who lashes out that badly for a minor matter is not fit to be in a relationship. If my dominant had done something that made me feel so insecure that I felt the need to lash out that badly, I imagine that I would leave him. If I had seen my dominant cry for any reason, it would have no difference to the respect I felt for him: more likely, seeing the depth of emotions he felt for me would touch me deeply.


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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/14/2009 5:06:13 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Carmeldelight

He is my BITCH


birds of a feather........


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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Humiliating you dom untill he cries - 1/14/2009 5:47:43 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		men are allowed to cry (i think - checks the rule book) yep, says it right there!  'men are allowed emotions too', seems fair enough to me.

i spose tho, that if i humiliated my man i would expect some repurchusions (once he'd blown his nose and dabbed his eyes dry).  largely because i would feel so bloody awful id need to pay for it in some large way or id beat myself up forever!

i dont like making people miserable, not how im wired atall - not to be overly annoying about this, but have you thought that maybe youre a swtich (if you enjoy humiliating your man?) - just a thought.

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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 80
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