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What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 2:54:48 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/26/2007
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Hi everyone

I have been on this site for quite some time and I find it difficult to get luck on this site. Now this is not a rant, I understand that the dommes I email, they would probably have a handful of others emailing them around the same time which makes competition fierce.

What I am curious about, besides the ones who are taken and look for casual or the ones who are here just to catch up with friends, why do the same dommes who are single and looking remain here for a long time? Such as, I see many here for many months or even years and still not be happily in love with that special sub.

The reason why I am asking is because I know a woman on this site gets way more attention than men in general as there are more males, especially when it comes to this type of thing. But what stops these women from finding the right sub when there is so much opportunity? There are many dommes on here who look like a great catch, its hard to believe that they are not getting subs lining up giving them offers. Are these subs doing some thing wrong?

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 3:40:15 PM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

There is opportunity here? Really?

Don't get me wrong, I have made many excellent friends here, and I am going to a wedding in a few weeks where many of us will celebrate. I have met play partners here. I have even met some submissive males that would please me tremendously...if they didn't live *quite* so far away. I have certainly been rejected by a few. (Okay, I've been rejected by many, but who's counting? )

I get lots of attention from males. LOTS. I get lots of offers from fetishists who want cuckoldry, foot worship, humiliation, etc etc ad nauseam. That doesn't make them interesting to me, because they are not interested in ME, they want their fetish fantasy. I use my delete key quite a bit.

Still, you never know, right? I found out a few months ago that the guy who only sends one sentence emails is a funny, intelligent guy in person. The sissy is actually lots of fun, and very sincere. Neither of them a good life partner choice, but good companions. I am not a believer in that "someone for everyone" truism, but I do think that there are lots of folks out there who deserve friendship and attention. So, I stick around.

Besides, I would miss my friends.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 3:53:13 PM

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They said they'd be back.......

They said I should wait right here......

chia* (the pet)

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 4:00:54 PM

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

Well I stay because I like the boards and I’ve had enough luck meeting people that it makes it worth it. I’ve had a relationship with one guy from here it lasted for a short while. And I’ve met some really nice people. I’ll be honest I’ve had more luck here then I did on another dating site.

Now I’ll agree there is a lot of opportunity but finding someone that I’m looking for narrows it down. I don’t think anyone is doing anything wrong it’s just a numbers game of trying to find someone that’s looking for a similar thing that you are. (I also don’t think it’s any harder then it would be on a nilla site.)

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 4:05:59 PM

Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
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I find it an incredible learning experience. Plus I like to see what others think and say. I have not really looked for anyone, so I can not comment on that. But there seems to be lots of real people, sharing real ideas and feelings....kind of cool, plus I don't think there is another site like this.

(in reply to SunNMoon)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 4:12:59 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

Thanks for the opinions everyone.

quote:

I get lots of attention from males. LOTS. I get lots of offers from fetishists who want cuckoldry, foot worship, humiliation, etc etc ad nauseam. That doesn't make them interesting to me, because they are not interested in ME, they want their fetish fantasy. I use my delete key quite a bit.

lol I am sure there are plenty of guys out there who don't only want a domme for his fetish fantasy.

(in reply to Steponme73)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 4:15:15 PM

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I stayed when I was still single because aside from the conversation, I had met some wonderful people. I did get a ton of attention, however very little of it had anything to do with who I was and most of it was what I was. I have no interest in someone who wants to get to know me because I have a red name.

I met Fox here, quite accidentally. I had met my Angel here before Fox. I met a lot of people who are friends now, some who were playmates and others who could have been more had I been their focus and not them.

Fox stayed because he was only single for 2 days after joining *grin*

DV

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 4:55:57 PM

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Joined: 12/3/2008
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I find Americans to be fascinating people, especially if they are kinky.

stella

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New Year's Day 2009.
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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 5:36:45 PM

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Joined: 3/24/2008
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I enjoy talking about the philosophy and practice of kink and seeing how other people do it.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 5:38:28 PM

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Awww come on now Stella... you know you stay because we give you reason to keep certain creative juices flowing and we lubs you! What would it be like if we didn't have your lil ditties??? You know we need you, cause some days... many of us wonder... why oh why we are here! Then we see our friends and know why.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 6:19:20 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Like my profile states.. I'm here because of an unhealthy addiction to the message boards.

Jewel

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 6:28:31 PM

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Ah, Assiesub. If you stick around, you'll learn all sorts of things. You'll learn that everyone in the D/s world is free of prejudice. Shorn of all preconceived notions, they'll see you exactly as you are. Kindness is everywhere and bitterness banished. No-one will misunderstand your motives and you'll be given every encouragement to be what you are. You will learn that small-mindedness is not known here. Most of all, you will also learn just what sarcasm is when you see it.

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(in reply to aussiesub07)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 6:47:29 PM

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Joined: 9/1/2008
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And if you stay long enough, you get a free puppy!

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I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 6:56:23 PM

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Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

*Chuckle*. I should have added to the OP - when all else turns into shyte, there's at least someone around who can make you laugh.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 7:35:48 PM

Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline

I find the message boards both informative and entertaining. Also, given the relatively low probability of actually connecting with someone, I can convince myself that I am trying without really stepping out and having to take risks personally with real physical people in person.

yours

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May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 8:19:48 PM

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

And if you stay long enough, you get a free puppy!

When do I get the puppy????? I bet its soon so sooon. Yay!

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"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 10:25:22 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/26/2007
Status: offline

I appreciate everyones opinion but for some, I think my question has been misunderstood. In my question I am only meaning the dommes who are single and looking. Not the dommes who are here for other reasons such as forums, catching up with friends, or the ones who are taken etc.

I mean, if you are a single domme who seeks a relationship on this site and has been here for a long time, what stops you from being interested in all the male subs who contact you, which would be 100s or 1000s?

I am not saying that this is a crime or you are a naughty domme to be this way, but I am just curious of what turns all these male subs off from these dommes, that way maybe I can learn some thing from this.

(in reply to SunNMoon)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 10:45:43 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

~FR~

Because, as bad as it is (and it is bad, trust me), everyplace else is worse. This is the only bdsm oriented site where I've found people even remotely interesting to talk with, let alone consider for a relationship. The trouble is that most of the contact I get is from subs who aren't even in the same ballpark as I am when it comes to compatibility. You wouldn't believe the number of messages I get from sissies and foot/shoe fetishists even though I have those listed among my hard limits. Hundreds of messages are meaningless when the people sending those messages are so far from what I'm looking for they might as well live on another planet.

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(in reply to aussiesub07)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 10:49:03 PM

Posts: 68
Joined: 10/13/2008
Status: offline

Well I'm a tourist around these parts. The reason I'm sticking around is that there are some great tour guides on the message boards.

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(in reply to aussiesub07)

RE: What makes you stay here? - 1/24/2009 11:06:48 PM

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aussiesub07

I appreciate everyones opinion but for some, I think my question has been misunderstood. In my question I am only meaning the dommes who are single and looking. Not the dommes who are here for other reasons such as forums, catching up with friends, or the ones who are taken etc.

I mean, if you are a single domme who seeks a relationship on this site and has been here for a long time, what stops you from being interested in all the male subs who contact you, which would be 100s or 1000s?

I am not saying that this is a crime or you are a naughty domme to be this way, but I am just curious of what turns all these male subs off from these dommes, that way maybe I can learn some thing from this.

you have NO idea what you are talking about. You "assume" the fault lies with the Dommes?...excuse me?

First of all, just because you get lots of email doesn't mean that they are for you. I get all kinds of requests, loads of which are not what I'm looking for. They don't even bother to read my profile to see what I seek, they only want someone, anyone, and usually just to hear stories.

Not to mention the countless ones that talk a good game then go poof within a week...the loads of no shows on meets, and the ones that may be perfect but are usually so far away that is it not a possiblity that either of you could move, and let us not forget the "oh distance is not an issue when it comes to luuuuuuv" (eye roll)...then all of a sudden, "something" comes up and they can't relocate, and shock of all shocks, they don't ask if or want you to relocate to them.

A lot just want a virtual girlfriend for a while, they get tired and move on to the next....so you tell me.... where is all this opportunity we are all pissing away?

All we can do is talk, and hope that it happens one day, and don't sit and dwell over the time wasters.

Maybe you ought to ask "them" why they can't follow through?

edited to add: I've been here for quite a while...I want my damn puppy!

< Message edited by DrkJourney -- 1/24/2009 11:08:33 PM >

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