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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "financially successful"?


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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:03:10 PM   
dreamysubmale


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtex

I must be getting old.  I find my self flipping through a good looking woman's profile looking for a picture of a teddy bear.

Bill




Shit. Busted. I just did the same. I was kidding before, because I hadn't seen her pictures, so I figured I should take a look so i'd know what I was talking about.

So, here we are, two guys spending their evening surfing adult sites for teddy bear pictures. Do we know how to have a good time or what?


Make that three.....lol

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Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:08:09 PM   
Lockit


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<<<< Thinks about starting a whine thread... about submissive's seeking bear's and not dominant's. hehe

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:15:17 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

What a sad state of affairs here...lol  We have beautiful domina's all over the place... and they are looking at bears... okay Panda.. I can kind of get that one... lol.. but really you guys! hehe


Well, if you think about it, what more proof do we need to offer that we're not all here just to cruise beaver pics and send out hundreds of crude, poorly punctuated, desperate attempts to get laid? Another stereotype bites the dust!


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Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
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(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:20:40 PM   
Lockit


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LOL Panda... No beaver pic's, so a bear will do? hehe  Sounds like a new fetish... and an epidemic.  Three in one thread! lol

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:27:44 PM   
dreamysubmale


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Just don't mention the epidemic to Beargonewild....

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Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:30:36 PM   
Lockit


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LOL

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 8:45:11 PM   
whis31


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Master want's me to be able to stand on my own to feet. I'm in the process of buying a condo that Master helped me find. Some of it is my need not to be a burden to my Master by paying my own way. I may not be able to travel and do some of the things Master wants to do, but when we do go place i "try" to pay my way  Master pays for me. Master would take care of me but i feel the need to support me and my child and not be a burden to my Master.

just my  worth.


(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 9:40:36 PM   
Nikitaa


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I want to say something to all those perving my bear. You are funny people. I like these forums. I can read people's personalities and I have better understanding of them. Maybe this does not guarantee success when I pick man for mouse toy but I think this increase my chances. I receive so much mail I am overwhelmed. I am not bragging I am only writing fact. I think from this point I will concentrate on men who write in forums. This allow me to spend less time with invisible no-profile-people and more time knowing real life like people.

Message to those who make fun of bear. Bear is sitting on my topless body. Where are you? ha ha. Bear is fluffy and soft.

I want to make post addressing op so I do not thread jack. Bear is not financially independent. Bear free load



edit

<--------------Look. My forum picture now has 4 szarlotka. (I think you call them apple tarts)
Soon I will have box of szarlotka

< Message edited by Nikitaa -- 1/29/2009 9:43:04 PM >

(in reply to whis31)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 9:56:56 PM   
DominantDamsel


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I'm not particularly interested in a finanically successful submissive or slave. I prefer that he or she is not employed more than part time or that there are some kind of dependable earnings like social security, etc. I have plenty of duties for my charge to attend to and a full time job would cut into their duty time. I do, however, appreciate if he or she has at least an apartment and a car and a way of paying for these two.

I also prefer a positive, upbeat, pleasant individual who is service oriented and is prepared to get to know one another over a rather long period of time. Living locally or the ability to relocate locally is a must.

(in reply to DeepSouth)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 10:15:44 PM   
eponastar


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Frankly when I look for a submissive I look for a person who is finacialy stable. I am, and I expect you to be as well. I don't care if your a student or full time employee, as longs as you can pay your bills and have a little extra to spend on what you want. Its not about the money, its about the stability. I don't want someone who needs me to organize their financial life as well. 

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(in reply to DeepSouth)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 10:31:49 PM   
ShaktiSama


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The only notion I have about finances is that most women cannot afford to support a man who produces no income.  *shrug*  As long as a man can contribute something to household expenses and his own maintainance, I don't think he needs to be any richer than that.  But let's face it, many dommes ARE financially successful people, and they want a submissive who is in the same professional and financial category as they are.  A submissive man who makes six figures might actually be pretty well matched in the dominant woman who makes six figures.

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(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 10:55:27 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DeepSouth
would it be crazy if a sub stated in his profile that he wanted a "financially successful" Domme?
No it wouldn't be crazy...  Everyone has a right to want what they want...  You know, the pursuit of what you think will be happiness.

quote:

I bet every male would love to be dominated and owned by a rich woman.
Is it possible you think most women think like you do?  

quote:

is not being wealthy a liability to a sub?
Not at all, unless he finds a woman who thinks it is.    M

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Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to DeepSouth)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 11:17:31 PM   
chiaThePet


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Why do I feel like I'm watching The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

chia* (the pet)


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You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/29/2009 11:55:45 PM   
hardbodysub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I am going to be honest here--I am financially stable, very stable,  but I am not the pot at the end of the rainbow---I do not expect a sub to be financially successful, I expect him to be financially STABLE. No debt, pays for or has his own health insurance, pays for his own car note and car insurance and a means of income for his extras. I do not expect to find that he has hopped from job to job--that flags a problem.
 
I do not expect him to support Me, but I do not intend to liquidate My assets for him.


I understand that too much debt can cause problems. But saying you're not financially stable unless you have NO debt at all? What about a mortgage? And last time I looked, a "car note" was debt.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 12:00:53 AM   
hardbodysub


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I'm pleasantly surprised by the bulk of the responses. Most are defining financial security in modest terms. When I see the "financially secure" or "financially successful" requirement in a domina's profile, it always looks like she wants a Sugar Daddy. Maybe this is a phrase that ought to be defined more clearly in a profile.

(in reply to DeepSouth)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 12:03:43 AM   
TranceTara


Posts: 152
Joined: 12/22/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtex

I was thinking about bringing up a similar topic.  I was recently laid off and I was thinking the way the unemployment rate is going this could become a more common topic.  Personally I decided to not consider myself part of the dating pool until my future is a little more certain.  Some of my fellow workers who were laid off are open to moving if they find a job elsewhere.  I haven't ruled that out.  That's something else to consider. 

Life sometimes has a screwed up sense of humor doesn't it?  From time to time I receive an email from a Domme but they have always been far away.  After I got laid off I received an email from a Domme on another site who lives just a couple miles from me.  I checked her profile on the off chance it might say she was looking for someone without a job.    The profile said "gainfully employed" but it also said she was interested in meeting friends.  I emailed her back and it's friends for now so maybe that's a good way to handle this.  Friends first is a good idea anyway so maybe while in limbo it's good.

Still, I'm not comfortable anwering an ad while being financially unstable but I rarely answer ads anyway.  How would you feel about a friendly email from someone in financial limbo? 

Bill



Life happens and it can happen to anyone.  I have been there a lot because of my illness and loss of business with 911.  The years since then have been hell.  I don't think I am the only dominant that understands that some times things happen.  In a perfect world it would be nice to have that stability and to know the man has something going for himself as it says something about him.  But on the other hand, it doesn't say something against him if life happened.  Not in my opinion anyway.  If you were stable before and had a decent job history, you would be working still if it wasn't for the world economy.  That isn't your fault and you shouldn't be faulted for that.

I know some have found one another in tough times and I am sure some will in the days ahead.

I am doing better now because of the income my son's disability or I would still be struggling.  It wasn't my fault and although some view me as undesireable... I am still a decent human being that some will see past in circumstance to see who I am.  There just may be some who will see past a few things and see the person standing there.  You can't give up hope and you can't feel unworthy.

Hell... I doubt someone will want to join what I have going on... but I see these times and think... I secured us the best I could.  We will make it through this and we will be comfortable.  Would everyone want to live the way we are?  No... that will limit my finding someone as much as my health does... but one day, there may be someone who fits my situation and life and won't mind that I must stay where I am and will find it worth it to live as I do.  Life isn't about things... it is about people and love.  And I said that when I wasn't poor and sick! lol


Thank you both for sharing. And I agree with you, life is about people and love, not things. It is what is in our hearts that will weigh most heavily on our deathbed, if we are lucky enough to have one and not die in some freak accident.

I understand that some wish to find a Domme/Dom or sub/slave who is financially stable. And, that will vary depending on one's definition of what financial stability is. But life can throw us a curve ball. One never knows. Look at Christopher Reeves and how his life drastically changed. Read the book A Stroke of Insight. An amazing story.

I can relate to what you talked about Lockit. I have had health issues and I am beginning to give up thinking I could serve someone. I seem to be moving further and further away from any BDSM community for I find so many are into the material aspect. Because of medication I have taken I bruise if someone grabs me too hard, so the masochist I used to be is no more. I might clot if whipped too hard. That's life. And yet, when it comes to the mind and the heart, I am most gifted and abundant. And, I am now attracting those who love the light that shines from within because when faced with death, when being a caretaker to a father who died of cancer and a mother who died of Alzheimer's I have an inner strength and acceptance that many find attractive. And, I also have a very vulnerable side as well. Yin/yang.

I had a customer come into the store I work in and he shared how he is retired. His wife is the breadwinner and he is fine with that. He had prostate cancer 6 years ago and thanked me for helping him during that time. I did not remember this man, but he remembered the little acts of kindness I apparently performed with him when he was in the store. When I mentioned my 50th was tough because I missed my mom, my dad and my only brother who died 3 years ago, he said, "It's your time to be loved and cared for. I bet that's all you want. Just to be loved and accepted and cared for. Isn't that what any of us truly wants?" I had to tell him I could not talk further for I had begun to cry. He hit it on the head for me. He apologized and I told him he did not need to apologize for he was just right on the money. He was my angel that day for he gave me such insight.

So, now I find I will be looking in other places than the BDSM community for what I seek. Yes, I have aspects of myself that are kink related, I do not define them anymore, for if and when I am blessed to meet someone who can accept me for who I am, then I will most certainly wish to care for her, and I would expect the same from her. If that makes me not submissive then so be it. But true love and acceptance sure has a way of bringing me to my knees.

And I do earn a decent living and offer thanks and gratitude every day for in these turbulent times I know how truly blessed I am. I may not be rich in terms of money, but I am rich indeed when it comes to good friends.

To subtex and Lockit, I wish you both luck. And, know that your words have touched me and given me even more strength and helped me open my heart just a bit more. It is so easy to run from pain and fear, but to embrace it and shake hands with it, well, that is very courageous indeed. Thank you both! And may I spread the love and strength you have shared.

Oh, and I must admit, I too flashed through all the pictures to see the teddy bear. Or is it Teddy bare? And, I hate to admit it, but I have a teddy bear that is older than you Nikitaa. lol

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(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 12:09:48 AM   
MissMorrigan


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And there may be an element of that for some people, Hbs.  Perhaps people do need to communicate more effectively their meaning when defining their preferences when seeking others - it could well mean we let some wonderful people slip through our fingers when we don't.
quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
I'm pleasantly surprised by the bulk of the responses. Most are defining financial security in modest terms. When I see the "financially secure" or "financially successful" requirement in a domina's profile, it always looks like she wants a Sugar Daddy. Maybe this is a phrase that ought to be defined more clearly in a profile.


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The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 12:19:58 AM   
LadyPact


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I haven't had a lot of time for the CM boards lately, but I had to get in on this one.

Seeing anyone on either side of the kneel using 'financially stable' as one of their search criteria shouldn't surprise anyone.  As someone else pointed out, why would anyone specifically look for someone who is unstable? I'm sure there are some out there who would just love to rush in and rescue someone from their financial ills, but it's not My kink.  Since I happen to be poly, and poly folks know the issues with adding another person to the household when it comes to medical, etc., I expect a person to be able to take care of their own financial needs.

By the way, I happen to be a blue collar Domme.  There's no disgrace in having a good, old fashioned J.O.B.  Any sub who can't handle someone who gets their hands dirty for a living wouldn't be a good match for Me anyway.  We'd be completely incompatible in the work ethic department.  I realize the economy has hit a lot of people hard and times are tough.  These things happen.  However, if you're the type to sit on your..... ummm.... excuses rather than use your initiative, please feel free to pass Me by.


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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to chiaThePet)
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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 12:32:46 AM   
AlexandraLynch


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Thanks to the reversals in the economy and the interesting twist in life plans that fate has thrown at us, we are a pair of doms with one person home due to medical conditions. Simply put, our third is going to have to work. Not to support us, but to add his share to the household. The homemaker does many things to keep the household running smoothly and in a financially lean manner. The other person works fifty hours a week at least. We can't afford to carry, financially, two non-working adults. That's a basic condition of things.

I'm a good enough manager that if our third will accept the way we live, which is quite modest, and make at least minimum wage and be fulltime, we'll all be very comfortable and be able to enjoy some comforts in life. But the job, and the steadiness of it, are very important. I don't fuss that he buy health insurance, though. We can't afford it, so I don't ask him to do something as a prerequisite that we can't manage. (Preexisting conditions are a bitch in America....they want 2/3 our net for junk insurance.)


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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/30/2009 1:15:47 AM   
Voodali


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If I were filthy rich, I might get a kick out of being a sugar momma, but as things are, if he isn't financially stable ie. able to support himself, and he ends up living in my household, we're both going to die....either that or I will have to pimp him out, and I'm sure he wouldn't want that !

and regarding the teddy bear...perhaps the man who submitted to it was a plushophile.

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 60
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