RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "financially successful"?

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:29:44 AM

chiaThePet

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I'm crazy as a loon.

And a big tipper.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:34:41 AM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
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Being a Domme is a LOT of hard work.. There is heavy equipment, expensive paraphenalia, expensive outfits, makeup, hair styling, manicures, plastic surgery, Rent for a big space, advertising, maintenace, PHOTOGRAPY, web design, Web Hosting.... add to that regular living expenses!
Gosh I am getting exhausted thinking of all the money I have spent...with very little coming in. It is only fair to have some help with all of that...Being as though, being a good Domme is SO EXPENSIVE...it stands to reason, that you can be a BETTER Domme if you have more financial resources. I do not think its fair to be expected to pay for all of that myself when I really WON'T be the one enjoying it...but rather the subs. Furthermore, with all of that overhead, everyone must carry their weight and CONTRIBUTE.

< Message edited by LunaVenus -- 1/31/2009 6:47:04 AM >

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:38:04 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

To shun someone just because they have mental illness or and are on welfare. Pretty heartless. How does any of us not know that we will be ill in the future. ? Would we like people to shun us, to talk of us as if we are bothersome? I know I would not. Ive been there. The stigma is terrible. We need to be far more enlightened in our attitude towards mentally ill people. The mentally ill people are not a burden on anyone. They are just seeking what every other person is seeking in this world, companionship and love. Do we deny them this because they are ill.? Is the criteria that you must be 100% to serve? Very narrow minded . Very prejudiced. The mentally ill deserve our support and love not criticism and exclusion
kevin

Sorry, but where in life were you told that you will be treated fairly or that people are nice?

How are these requirements any different than people who want a certain hair color, body shape, skin color, religious or political views, or any of the other criteria that we have?

Just as I have not right to tell you what your preferences and requirements should be, who are you to tell me or anyone else what ours should be?

Take people's preferences and criteria a sign that helped you not waste your time on them. This isn't about getting a job or housing, this is about forming personal relationships and each person should be in charge of that without limitations beyond what is consensual in my very strong opinion.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:39:55 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

Being a Domme is a LOT of hard work.. There is heavy equipment, expensive paraphenalia, expensive outfits, makeup, hair styling, manicures, plastic surgery, Rent for a big space, advertising, maintenace, add to that regular living expenses!
Gosh I am getting exhausted thinking of all the money I have spent...with very little coming in. It is only fair to have some help with all of that...Being as though, being a good Domme is SO EXPENSIVE...it stands to reason, that you can be a BETTER Domme if you have more financial resources. I do no think its fair to be expected to pay for all of that myself when I really WON'T be the one enjoying it...but rather the subs. Furthermore, with all of that overhead, everyone must carry their weight and CONTRIBUTE.

Gee, I must be doing the "domme" thing wrong these 18+ years because frankly it hasn't cost me much at all beyond getting an education in the fundamental skills and connections with communities I want to associate with.

(yeah, I'm in a mood this morning, aren't I?)

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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Post #: 104

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:48:28 AM

LunaVenus

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You don't have any equipment in 18 years? No outfits? Somebody had to pay for them if you have anything.....Did the subs buy it all after you made the associations?

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:49:55 AM

ladylucky32

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/31/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

Being a Domme is a LOT of hard work.. There is heavy equipment, expensive paraphenalia, expensive outfits, makeup, hair styling, manicures, plastic surgery, Rent for a big space, advertising, maintenace, add to that regular living expenses!
Gosh I am getting exhausted thinking of all the money I have spent...with very little coming in. It is only fair to have some help with all of that...Being as though, being a good Domme is SO EXPENSIVE...it stands to reason, that you can be a BETTER Domme if you have more financial resources. I do no think its fair to be expected to pay for all of that myself when I really WON'T be the one enjoying it...but rather the subs. Furthermore, with all of that overhead, everyone must carry their weight and CONTRIBUTE.

Gee, I must be doing the "domme" thing wrong these 18+ years because frankly it hasn't cost me much at all beyond getting an education in the fundamental skills and connections with communities I want to associate with.

(yeah, I'm in a mood this morning, aren't I?)

LOL, yea me too. I reread her post thinking she must be refering to Pros, but I don't see that there. Hell I can grab a boy and bend him over my knee and spank him and it doesn't cost a dime. Maybe we are doing it wrong?

To the OP, why wouldn't I want a sub who is able to support himself? I am sure as hell not going to support him.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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Post #: 106

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:50:59 AM

Nikitaa

Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

Being a Domme is a LOT of hard work.. There is heavy equipment, expensive paraphenalia, expensive outfits, makeup, hair styling, manicures, plastic surgery, Rent for a big space, advertising, maintenace, PHOTOGRAPY, web design, Web Hosting.... add to that regular living expenses!
Gosh I am getting exhausted thinking of all the money I have spent...with very little coming in. It is only fair to have some help with all of that...Being as though, being a good Domme is SO EXPENSIVE...it stands to reason, that you can be a BETTER Domme if you have more financial resources. I do not think its fair to be expected to pay for all of that myself when I really WON'T be the one enjoying it...but rather the subs. Furthermore, with all of that overhead, everyone must carry their weight and CONTRIBUTE.

wow we.

I only have short skirt, ping pong paddles, handcuffs, and ice cubes. lol. Maybe I need more stuff.

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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Post #: 107

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:57:27 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

You don't have any equipment in 18 years? No outfits? Somebody had to pay for them if you have anything.....Did the subs buy it all after you made the associations?

No fancy equipment or costumes here either.

Nothing against those that are into it, but to assume all are........mistake.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:58:43 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

You don't have any equipment in 18 years? No outfits? Somebody had to pay for them if you have anything.....Did the subs buy it all after you made the associations?

I don't have to "dress up" in special outfits, I'm not into fetish wear. If you ever saw me at a convention that black dress or sexy skirt is something I could and do wear other places.

I have perhaps bought a few toys over the years the rest have been gifts.

I just don't need the flashy objects and fetish items to dominant someone or do SM. I have most of what I need in my mind and at my fingertips.

We're talking maybe $250 dollars over these years beyond basic safe sex equipment. More of course for munches, workshops, and dungeons but I consider that part of learning and socializing, not part being dominant.

Since I'm a book reviewer for many years I get many of the "latest how-to books" from the community too these past several years. I'd say out of my library maybe 20 of these books I bought when I was starting out.

You see, I'm a very practical person.

I don't need 100 floggers, I'm happy with my dozen that range from light to very heavy to intense. I don't need a dozen different restraints, I'm fine with with two pair for ankles and wrists, that fit two different size categories. I don't need six colors of rope, basic sexy black does me quite well. I don't need 50 pairs of heels because I'd rather have a solid pair of books, a sexy pair of flats or my bare feet to place me firmly on the ground so I can look down at my kneeling slave.

You don't need a lot of money to do BDSM. Honestly you don't. You can choose to invest a lot of money but that's a choice. If your partner wants you to have a lot of tools and special outfits then you are correct, LunaVenus, that your partner better be willing to help you get them. We have to pay for what we want, everyone does, but not everyone needs so many materials items to have healthy, happy, and incredibly sexy BDSM relationships.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/31/2009 7:00:25 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:59:01 AM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
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Guys EXPECT you to have ALL of that Pro or Amateur.
They EXPECT you to send them good quality pictures.
They EXPECT you to look like you just stepped out of a porn movie in the photos.
They EXPECT your body to be flawless
They EXPECT you to not look a day over 21
They EXPECT you to have pretty outfits
They EXPECT you to have a fully equipped Dungeon!

Again... there are different kinds of Mistresses.... Some just put on a black sweater in the back of their trailer and slap men and call themselves a Domme....Others try to do everything that is EXPECTED of them with the HIGHEST STANDARDS and Quality!!!.... and all that costs a FORTUNE! Someone has got to contribute to all of that or otherwise it is a money losing venture for a Domme and no one can stay involved

< Message edited by LunaVenus -- 1/31/2009 7:06:27 AM >

(in reply to Nikitaa)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 6:59:51 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikita

I only have short skirt, ping pong paddles, handcuffs, and ice cubes. lol. Maybe I need more stuff.

Gotta be tricky hitting those ice cubes with a ping pong paddle whilst handcuffed.

In a short skirt none the less.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Nikitaa)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:05:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

Guys EXPECT you to have ALL of that Pro or Amateur.
They EXPECT you to send them good quality pictures.
They EXPECT you to look like you just stepped out of a porn movie in the photos.
They EXPECT your body to be flawless
They EXPECT you to not look a day over 21
They EXPECT you to have pretty outfits
They EXPECT you to have a fully equipped Dungeon!

Again... there are different kinds of Mistresses.... Some just put on a black sweater in the back of their trailer and slap men and call themselves a Domme....Others try to do everything that is EXPECTED of them with the HIGHEST STANDARDS and Quality!!!.... and all that costs a FORTUNE! Someone has got to contribute to all of that.

Okay, this is one of the MOST obnoxious posts I have read in awhile!

First of all...........this isn't about what a submissive or slave EXPECTS. I am th dominant person here, not them. It is about what I expect!

I don't live in a trailer, far from it. My home on the hill is quite delightful. Then again I don't call myself a DOMME either. I am simply a dominant woman that adores being served by and tormenting delicious little slave girls. Silly me!

What I read, the part I quoted, is a woman submitting to people that want fantasies fullfilled. Not a dominant submissive interaction at all. Top/bottom yes.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/31/2009 7:07:17 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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Post #: 112

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:05:22 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

Guys EXPECT you to have ALL of that Pro or Amateur.
They EXPECT you to send them good quality pictures.
They EXPECT you to look like you just stepped out of a porn movie in the photos.
They EXPECT your body to be flawless
They EXPECT you to not look a day over 21
They EXPECT you to have pretty outfits
They EXPECT you to have a fully equipped Dungeon!

Again... there are different kinds of Mistresses.... Some just put on a black sweater in the back of their trailer and slap men and call themselves a Domme....Others try to do everything that is EXPECTED of them with the HIGHEST STANDARDS and Quality!!!.... and all that costs a FORTUNE! Someone has got to contribute to all of that.

Ah, this may be our difference. Please correct me if I misunderstand you.

I have never, ever, done what subs or bottoms expect of me.

I do what I expect of me, I do what turns me on and helps me feel more toppish or dominant.

That self-confidence over rides any clothes, any equipment, any fetish gear.

If you lack that inner dominant and it won't matter what material goods you have, you won't get them to come back often or stick around.

You are dominant and that boy will kneel and kiss your teddy bear slippers while his eyes glow in admiration and he'll bent over for a dozen of the finest while you wear your pink overalls.

I'm so sorry if you spend all this money because it is expected by the men you want to attract. You can chose not to go after those types of people or you can demand they help pay for things or you can just suck it up and consider it the cost of finding what you want.

Material goods are not the only way. You can chose to try another way.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/31/2009 7:06:10 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:09:51 AM

LunaVenus

Posts: 161
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I want to be the BEST at anything I do...I am NOT content to be a half ass dominatrix with a black flannel mini skirt and a ping pong paddle.
I want to be the BEST and I EXPECT only the best in return. It is about Quality. The inner Domme we shall not speak of... That's automatic.

< Message edited by LunaVenus -- 1/31/2009 7:12:15 AM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:11:25 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LunaVenus

I want to be the BEST at anything I do...I NOT content to be a half ass dominatrix with a black flannel mini skirt and a ping pong paddle.
I want to be the BEST and I EXPECT only the best in return. It is about Quality. The inner Domme we shall not speak of... That's automatic.

What makes you think I'm not the best?

You don't have to defend your choice to acquire these material accessories by attacking others, LunaVenus.

I don't feel you are less or more than me. I feel this is a choice you make.

I do feel you are misrepresenting many people who do Ds and BDSM in all its forms for many, many years.

Claim your choices for what they are: yours.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/31/2009 7:14:40 AM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LunaVenus)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:14:25 AM

Nikitaa

Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikita

I only have short skirt, ping pong paddles, handcuffs, and ice cubes. lol. Maybe I need more stuff.

Gotta be tricky hitting those ice cubes with a ping pong paddle whilst handcuffed.

In a short skirt none the less.

chia* (the pet)

I use sexy short skirt to lure men to undress. I bind with handcuffs. I hold ice next to asshole and use paddle to spank ice into hole. (I use triangle ice cubes and I melt off rough edge so not to tear anything inside man.)

Why am I writing post to a hand puppet?

(in reply to chiaThePet)

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Post #: 116

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:14:52 AM

LunaVenus

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I am sure you are. But I did NOT evaluate you. so don't take my standards personally...I said what my standards are. And my standards are expensive.
Nothing out, nothing in. It's that simple in my mind.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:15:24 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikita

I only have short skirt, ping pong paddles, handcuffs, and ice cubes. lol. Maybe I need more stuff.

Gotta be tricky hitting those ice cubes with a ping pong paddle whilst handcuffed.

In a short skirt none the less.

chia* (the pet)

I use sexy short skirt to lure men to undress. I bind with handcuffs. I hold ice next to asshole and use paddle to spank ice into hole. (I use triangle ice cubes and I melt off rough edge so not to tear anything inside man.)

Why am I writing post to a hand puppet?

Are you and your partner(s) happy?

If yes, what more do you need?

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Nikitaa)

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Post #: 118

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:17:46 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nikitaa

Why am I writing post to a hand puppet?

Better question;

Why can't the Domme make ice cubes?

She can't remember the recipe.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to Nikitaa)

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Post #: 119

RE: Why is it that most Dommes want subs that are "... - 1/31/2009 7:21:34 AM

subsong

Posts: 77
Joined: 9/22/2005
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Probably because most Dom/mes at a minimum , are seeking someone to interact with on an erotic level - they're not seeking an adult they have to fully support . Ugh.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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