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RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submissives?"


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RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 2:56:18 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies. By financially dependent, I mean that my income goes into her bank account, so that I don't have any money except what she permits me to have.  The idea of being a slave to me means that what I earn is hers.  I find that very exciting, as a fantasy.

All of it sounds exciting as a fantasy, but in reality, you'd have to have lots of affection and common interests, and the slave would need to understand that he's not there to get his needs met; but to meet hers, so learning to deal with frustration would be a necessary learning experience. I personally don't see it as a hardship on the female to have lots of this stuff done for her, but lots of women like to cook and stuff, and she's going to have her own desires which are more important than the slave's, and which may  include things he doesn't get any pleasure from, though perhaps there would be pleasure because it's part of being a true slave. It would depend on compatibility. I know I'd not want to be whipped and stuff which really hurts and could cause injuries, or have sex with men, or some other stuff.

Unlike some desires, mine are so mundane that they are not something I'd go to pay money for. Rather than an episode of submission, it would have to be a lifestyle. I had an opportunity to go serve as a maid at a ClufFem thing, but it was almost three hours away, and I decided not to do it. Had it been an hour away, I'd have gone. I'd have loved it, but it's the day to day permanence of being a mistress's slave which I find the most appealing, though it would be fun to try it out on weekends, to see what it's like. I really loved being a "slave" to this female friend of mine, and never got tired of it, but we were friends to begin with, and she wan't a lover.

The power of the pleasure is just astonishing, even at my age. My transgendered desires tapered off a great deal when I got older, as my sex drive diminished, though they are still there, but these submissive desires are so overwhelming that I can't believe it. There were places to go for TG stuff when I was younger, and I was so pretty that I was always the star wherever I went, and with those young sexual appetites, I'd drive for a long way to have fun. If I'd known where to do for submissive desires, I'd have ended up as a slave. I didn't realize others had such desires, and that dominant females existed, and never mentioned these desires to TG friends or anyone. My girl friends knew about them, since I'd fantasise about them sometimes when we'd have sex, but be very embarrassed afterwards, and never gave them a chance, even if my girlfriend's had been receptive to them, wihch they probably weren't, but I was so angry about them that I really don't know. It's a tough thing to deal with, just as being TG'd was tough when I was very young, and I thought I was the only person in the world like that. That's how I felt about submission even when I was having TG fun.

It's great for younger people now, to know others are there and you can meet them, and see for yourself what it's actually like. You really never know until you try, and it's not impossible that I'll meet somebody, and end up a slave. I thought seriously about becoming a female back in the 80's, but as a self-employed attorney, I just coulnd't do it, but got so feminine looking that I'm sure it hurt my law practice anyway. I never had long hair (except when I came back from Vietnam and grew it for two years), but had my facial hair removed, and cosmetic surgery, and I'm almost too small to wear men's clothes, so even with short hair, I get mistaken for a woman quite often. It would be nice to move to live with a woman as her slave, and get a feminine job such as a legal secretary, (supervised by women, of course), but I'm getting pretty old.

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 2:59:52 PM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I am very submissive, but not into pain or bondage, or licking boots, etc. I just want to be a slave, and do everything for my mistress, including all household stuff, laundry, cooking, etc; and her nails and/or hair if hse wishes, and to be totally dependent on her financially, and to obey her always. It would be exciting to be restrained, but I'd be so attuned to obeying her that I'd not deserve any punishment. My question is, what is in this for the mistress, in terms of pleasure?


Except for the bolded portion, this sounds like sheer heaven to me.  This is what I would like to find someday.  However, I don't have the resources to support another adult, and that's not likely to change.  I also want this fantasy slave to come in a drug/disease free, height-weight proportionate, bisexual female body somewhere between the ages of 18 and 40 with 25-35 being ideal. 
 
Someone hand me a mop, I think the unicorn pooped again.



(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:05:17 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
A couple of practical matters come to mind. One is if you really have ever done housework day in and day out for the longhaul and also dealt with a woman in this manner. In fantasy it sounds very nice, but in reality it can be quite mundane, I would imagine.  And in this scenario does she have boyfriends or lovers to practice bdsm with?

Are you looking for a woman who is your age or younger?  Do you expect to work at the same time?

Akasha


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(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:15:51 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		I'd expect to work, of course, but would rather that she control all the income. I don't see housework as a big deal. I do it for myself, so doing it for another person doesn't seem that big a deal to me. Mainly it would be more laundry, and she might like everything ironed, whereas I don't iron my clothes; but the idea of ironing a woman's clothing would give me immense pleasure. She might want much more elaborate meals than I make for myself, but I know I'd love cooking and serving a woman meals, and I'm a good cook, but frankly that's no difficult thing if you can read a cookbook. I absolutely loved doing my friend's nails while she watched TV, and massaging her feet while she watched TV, while I sat on the floor with her feet on a pillow. I'd never get tired of that. There are few things as submissive as sitting on a floor with a woman's feet on your lap, while you're painting her nails and massaging her feet and legs. I just loved it, and never got tired of it. I'd love to learn to set a woman's hair, and do that while she's watching TV, if she enjoyed it (and millions of women spend billions of dollars for that stuff, so many women enjoy it). The idea of serving a female while we're having most of our conversations is something I love, and find very submissive. I don't know where these desires/pleasures came from, but they are just amazing. 

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:16:56 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		I'm looking for a woman my age or younger. I doubt there are many women older than I am.  

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:18:17 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I'd expect to work, of course, but would rather that she control all the income. I don't see housework as a big deal. I do it for myself, so doing it for another person doesn't seem that big a deal to me. Mainly it would be more laundry, and she might like everything ironed, whereas I don't iron my clothes; but the idea of ironing a woman's clothing would give me immense pleasure. She might want much more elaborate meals than I make for myself, but I know I'd love cooking and serving a woman meals, and I'm a good cook, but frankly that's no difficult thing if you can read a cookbook. I absolutely loved doing my friend's nails while she watched TV, and massaging her feet while she watched TV, while I sat on the floor with her feet on a pillow. I'd never get tired of that. There are few things as submissive as sitting on a floor with a woman's feet on your lap, while you're painting her nails and massaging her feet and legs. I just loved it, and never got tired of it. I'd love to learn to set a woman's hair, and do that while she's watching TV, if she enjoyed it (and millions of women spend billions of dollars for that stuff, so many women enjoy it). The idea of serving a female while we're having most of our conversations is something I love, and find very submissive. I don't know where these desires/pleasures came from, but they are just amazing. 


I am at a loss why a vanilla relationship wouldn't work.  Why wouldn't any woman want this kind of treatment if she was in a mutually affectionate, romantic relationship?  What is the drawback?  I think there is a missing piece of the puzzle.  You must want something else out of it that makes it more challenging?

Akasha


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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:19:59 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		But scrubbing somebody elses bathroom, floors, etc. is possibly not quite as much fun as massaging her feet and giving her a pedicure.

I would think if service is your main thing, you shouldn't have a problem finding takers, it might not be the relationship you are ideally seeking but I don't think a lot of women will say no to somebody who comes around, cleans their house and gives them a pedicure and a foot massage with no agenda!

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(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:34:00 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		Vanilla women just don't feel comfortable with that kind of relationship. They find it too feminine, I think, and since I like to be feminine to begin with, it's too much for them, just as I'd not be interested in a female who wanted to be my slave, and dress up like a man (though since I'm not dominant, I can't speak for "vanilla" men.). I think vanilla women dont' respect a man who wants to be a slave, and lose attraction for him. They like strong, masculine males. I always told my girlfriends about my TG desires, once we were getting serious, and eventually my submisssive desires, but they didn't want to see them. My long-term girlfriend might have accepted some submission, since after having sex she'd laugh and say "You promised this, and you promised that, and it all amounts to nothing." She was quite domineering, but she also liked my masculine side, and although she liked to tell me what to do, I don't think she'd have been comfortable with me as her actual slave. But mainly I was the one who refused to give it a try. I was so embarrassed by it that I'd refuse to discuss it, when I wasn't having sex. We didn't have these support resources then. It just seemed so ridiculous to me that I couldn't accept it in myself, so naturally couldn't imagine anyne else accepting it in me. I fought it constantly. I have several friends who know about TG desires (since when I had my ears pierced in the late 80's, I'd always have to wear them at home, until they healed up, so had to tell my best friends), but none of them, nor my lots of TG friends back then, ever knew about my submissive desires. Only two long term girlfriends and that female friend ever knew about them.  Had this site existed (or the Net, for that matter), I'd have accepted them, and would be somebody's slave now. 

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:40:43 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

Vanilla women just don't feel comfortable with that kind of relationship. They find it too feminine, I think, and since I like to be feminine to begin with, it's too much for them, just as I'd not be interested in a female who wanted to be my slave, and dress up like a man (though since I'm not dominant, I can't speak for "vanilla" men.). I think vanilla women dont' respect a man who wants to be a slave, and lose attraction for him. They like strong, masculine males. I always told my girlfriends about my TG desires, once we were getting serious, and eventually my submisssive desires, but they didn't want to see them. My long-term girlfriend might have accepted some submission, since after having sex she'd laugh and say "You promised this, and you promised that, and it all amounts to nothing." She was quite domineering, but she also liked my masculine side, and although she liked to tell me what to do, I don't think she'd have been comfortable with me as her actual slave. But mainly I was the one who refused to give it a try. I was so embarrassed by it that I'd refuse to discuss it, when I wasn't having sex. We didn't have these support resources then. It just seemed so ridiculous to me that I couldn't accept it in myself, so naturally couldn't imagine anyne else accepting it in me. I fought it constantly. I have several friends who know about TG desires (since when I had my ears pierced in the late 80's, I'd always have to wear them at home, until they healed up, so had to tell my best friends), but none of them, nor my lots of TG friends back then, ever knew about my submissive desires. Only two long term girlfriends and that female friend ever knew about them.  Had this site existed (or the Net, for that matter), I'd have accepted them, and would be somebody's slave now. 


Is the issue perhaps then finding affectionate compatibility, if you have a distinctly feminine personality? I am guessing you envision this relationship would have you dressing and living as female and/or comfortably expressing the mannerisms of a woman?
Akasha


_____________________________

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Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 3:44:05 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		A relationship might be out, but if it is something you do need, getting your kink fulfilled might be better than nothing. Now you being feminine would possibly help a vanilla woman to be more comfy around you.

To be perfectly honest, I am possibly everything but vanilla but I wouldn't be interested in a relationship, just not my thing but I'd happily take the pedicures and the cleaning.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 4:05:14 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		If it was a purely dom/sub relationship, then I'd want to dress as a maid or at least in dresses all the time. If it was a romantic relationship, then I could do without that (and always have). I'm frankly not interested in a vanilla relationship. I don't want to explain to another girlfriend that I have TG and submissive desires. I want a submissive relationship, whether it includes romance or not, but I must be compatible with the mistress, in terms of interests, etc, so we can enjoy converations, and like each other.

I realize that romance is not going to happen, so would have to settle for a dom/sub relationship where we are friends, and I am her slave. I'd love to give you pedicures, clean your house, and massages, but we'd have to enjoy each other's company. If I didn't enjoy a mistress as a person, I'd not enjoy being her slave. I'm very friendly, and like to have fun. It's different than a sub who goes in to get an episode of intense submission. My pleasure is a constant thing, which exists as long as I serve, but since it involves personal stuff like nails, you have to enjoy being together. I would have no interest in showing up and clearning a woman's house while she leaves for the day, and never even seeing her.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 6:05:10 PM   
SimplyIsaac


Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I am very submissive, but not into pain or bondage, or licking boots, etc. I just want to be a slave, and do everything for my mistress, including all household stuff, laundry, cooking, etc; and her nails and/or hair if hse wishes, and to be totally dependent on her financially, and to obey her always. It would be exciting to be restrained, but I'd be so attuned to obeying her that I'd not deserve any punishment. My question is, what is in this for the mistress, in terms of pleasure? She has a great life, never needs to lift a finger except to get her slave's attention, and owns the money he earns, and his (former) property, but it would seem to me that most mistresses who achieve immense pleasure from dominating a male, would tend to desire a much more aggressive role, including whatever personally gives them pleasure. I find it somewhat difficult to believe that many mistresses would enjoy my type of slavery, since it's fairly mundane; simply what actual slavery was like for thousands of years, or what most women had to put up with as wives for centuries. There is nothing bizarre about it as a lifestyle, except in our modern age.. It' s just a total power exchange and actual slavery.


Sounds like another clever ad, but I'll bite...

Are you kidding? What you describe is actually where slavery is at. Its about service and (gasp!) slavery. Fini.

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:05:01 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

In reading your profile I can see that you already want more than to "just be a pure service slave".


I believe most do want more than to just be a "pure service slave". I'm about as close as one gets to being a pure service slave, and I'll be honest that if it was just me going over to someone's house and cleaning it, I'd probably just get a job doing that. There's a reason I do this for a woman, and not just because I love to clean, because I don't love to clean. I like to clean and do whatever is desired by a woman to whom I dedicate myself. The ones who say stuff like, "I'd need another submissive for the fun stuff" I'd NEVER apply to. Those are the ones who really don't understand service submission but think they do because they can imagine what they think service submissives do.

I've been in some great relationships in the past where I gave GREAT service, and we were very happy. But those were intimate relationships (by intimate I do not mean sex, but intimacy shared between a couple that transcends just work and cleaning). I'd be very surprised to find a single service submissive who REALLY wants no intimate interaction with his Mistress. Most of the time, they're lying, hoping that the intimacy will just happen. I really got tired of the dominants who pursued me only to find out that they wanted a person to come over, clean and then leave, often with very little interaction at all. When I said I wasn't interested in this, they'd call me a fake, and it would just make finding someone that much more frustrating. That's why I no longer pursue ANYTHING as a service submissive anymore, but seek relationships of slavery, so that when she finds herself interested in me and THEN discovers I also happen to be a service submissive, she feels she got something far more than she ever imagined, and quite often I'm asked: "Why didn't you tell me her were also a service submissive?" And my answer is what I've said here. If I would have pursued her as a service submissive, we wouldn't have pursued a relationship that would have ended up being comfortable for either one of us.


_____________________________

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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:05:51 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		I don't understand why you are confused. I honestly don't think that many Doms exist who truly love the lifestyle when compared to subs, and of those who do, many engage in it for money, rather than pleasure. The kind of sub I am is not interested in paying for episodes of pleasure, but rather in providing a "regular" slave. If a permanent relationship was established, then she'd have all the money I earned, but not otherwise. A mistress would need to enjoy having a slave like me for its own sake, rather than for some extrinsic value such as money, and enjoy me as a person, or it wouldn't work, and I frankly doubt many Doms like that exist, but don't know, which was why I posted. 

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:14:55 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		Littlesarbonn: That's interesting, but I tend to be an up-front person, and don't want to waste time with a mistress who thinks I am something other than what I am, or wants to whip me to bloody ribbons, or whatever. I was reading the "femininzation" post, and noticed that many women seemed to only think they'd enjoy feminizing a man if he hated it, and/or would love "masculinizing" a TG person. I find that attitude totally at odds with any kind of friendship or mutual pleasure, and a reflection of an actual dislike of a person for something that person has no control over. I have no interest in wasting time meeting a cruel person like that, which is why I state exactly what I am. I think it's great if people want to hurt other people, physically or emotionally, or be hurt. It's great for them. I have no interest in it.

I enjoyed your post.

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:17:29 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		As said by someone previously, not all of Us are sadists and looking forward ever so fondly to bruising someone silly.  Actually if you were closer to Me in age, you and I could have a good conversation.  What you describe, with the intimacy littlesarbonn talked about thrown in liberally, is exactly what I have been looking for.  NO I wouldn't find it boring.  Usually it's the slave that flakes somewhere along the getting to know process.  (I'm a slow mover - life isn't a race.) *shrugs* I, like you, live in hope.  My advice to you - live in hope forever.  you never know what may come your way. 

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 2/9/2009 7:18:39 PM >

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(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:23:20 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Just because they aren't massing at and knocking down your door doesn't mean they don't exist.. believe me, they exist.. lots of them.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I don't understand why you are confused. I honestly don't think that many Doms exist who truly love the lifestyle when compared to subs, and of those who do, many engage in it for money, rather than pleasure. The kind of sub I am is not interested in paying for episodes of pleasure, but rather in providing a "regular" slave. If a permanent relationship was established, then she'd have all the money I earned, but not otherwise. A mistress would need to enjoy having a slave like me for its own sake, rather than for some extrinsic value such as money, and enjoy me as a person, or it wouldn't work, and I frankly doubt many Doms like that exist, but don't know, which was why I posted. 


_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to Tavane)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 7:41:39 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		I'm sure some exist, but am skeptical as to how many. I just don't know. Responding to Aakasha's post, I would love the female role, and to dress as a maid or in a dress and apron. I do look very feminine, and can switch from male to female instantly. I haven' tworn women's clothing out in public in years, but if I let my hair grow so it covers half my ears, I almost always get mistaken for a female, and when that happens, I act like a female, and talk like one. It's very subtle, not the effeminate stuff you see from some gay people, but it's different from acting and talking like a male. I've gotten used to it over the years, and to talk first in a masculine voice when I'm out with friends, so I don't get called "ma'am". When I'm alone, I don't care if I'm called "ma'am", and if I am, I go along with it, and adjust my speech patterns and facial expressions a bit, so they are those of a female. When I took a gender test on Spark.com, I test out as clearly female, and it's the kind of test where you dont' know which is the masculine and which is the feminine answer. Just shapes to choose, and what kind of bedroom color you like (white or blue), and other stuff.  I certainly don't have a "female" brain however. Females don't get immense erotic pleasure from being feminine. They just take it for granted, and enjoy it for other reasons. Presently I keep my hair very short, so nobody will mistake me for a female, but for most of the past 25  years, I've had it cover part of my ears, and when parted in the middle, I obviously look like a woman. Clothes mean nothing, since women dress just like men these days quite often. There is no way you can "dress like a man" in casual clothes. I enjoyed being mistaken for a woman, but it led to some really embarrassing experiences, though generally it was just a part of life. When I dress like a woman however, I look 100% like a woman, and that's how I'd prefer to serve a mistress.

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 8:20:50 PM   
undergroundsea


Posts: 2400
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
A couple of practical matters come to mind. One is if you really have ever done housework day in and day out for the longhaul and also dealt with a woman in this manner. In fantasy it sounds very nice, but in reality it can be quite mundane, I would imagine.  And in this scenario does she have boyfriends or lovers to practice bdsm with?


I think these points are good to consider.

As I dabbled into service it helped me see some differences between fantasy and reality, and understand what drew me to various service scenarios. In fantasy, you have only the reward: whatever arousal or gratification one feels at such thoughts. In reality, the overall gratification is lessened by the costs: the time and energy (especially mental energy) required. My experience of reality revealed to me that I enjoy attentive service (massage, waiting on her--the type you have experienced) much more than non-attentive service (mopping).

The point is, if you have not experienced this situation fully, it might be a good idea to do so before seeking a permanent commitment. Perhaps first experiencing events like the Club FEM party, or, more importantly, a part-time maid or servant scenario will help you better understand your needs for a full time scenario.

You have already spoken some insights and awareness that will help you communicate what you seek and what is important to you: service under the structure of an ongoing relationship, time spent near or in presence of the recipient of service, etc.

My wants and behavior are collectively defined by multiple components: masochism, companionship, spirituality, and ego.

Within boundaries, the masochism component enjoys a subordinate status. The companionship component is what seeks human social contact and companionship--I think this component is fundamental to the human condition. The spirituality component is what brings gratification in devotion to another (possibly seen as higher) entity. The ego component addresses things like individuality and self expression, a wish for achievement, a wish to be respected, etc.

My experiences in service show it can touch all components.

I think the companionship component is what contributes largely to a desire to please. It generates fondness and a desire to receive fondness, as well a desire for affectionate human contact (cuddling, sleeping adjacent to another).

I share these thoughts because I think they represent a somewhat general model. If you find this model to help you identify your collective wants, how important is the companionship component, and can you have a relationship without the companionship (you seem to suggest you are open to it)?

If you wish to seek a companionship then that defines a greater criteria for compatibility both in what you must find and what one might want in you. If you do not include companionship in your dynamic, the domme may need to turn to someone else for this need. Do you have an idea about how you would feel if she had a different partner? Would the sex of this partner matter?

Other possibilities exist yet. You could find companionship with a submissive woman based on mutual affection, and achieve masochistic and spiritual fulfillment through service as a couple.

Lastly, I think it would be a good idea to reflect on what traits you would like to see in such a partner. One trait I would find important is general compassion.

I wish you well.

Cheers,

Sea

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/9/2009 9:07:21 PM   
Tavane


Posts: 131
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for responding, Sea. I would never make a committment without lots of time together. I could have a sub relationship without a sexual one, since I enjoyed being my friend's slave immensely, and she wasn't attracted to me. She liked big strong very masculine men who ended up treating her like crud every time. We were very good friends however, and had been for more than 20 years, so the submission was just another aspect of our friendship. If a mistress wasn't my friend and companion, then I'd not be too interested. I'd feel taken advantage of, if that's all she was doing, and had no affection for me, and didn't enjoy me as a person, as well as a slave. I met a very nice woman from ClubFem, but she was quite a bit younger than me, and I realized that I was probabliy too old for this stuff. We had dinner. She also has kids, and that would be a problem. I can deal with it, with the mistress, or with other people who are into it, but not with vanilla people. It wouldn't bother me to carry a mistress's purse for her now and then, but I wouldn't want to be humilated in public, though the idea of her always ordering for us in a restaurant would be a very pleasurable "public" display of dominance, but not one which is over the top.

When I read these "letters" at various places on the net, purportedly written by women who have dominated and usually feminized their boyfriends or husbands, I have to laugh, since inevitably they bring in other females, who also enjoy all of this stuff. LOL. Obviously these letters are written by males who are pretending to be females, but they are enjoyuable fantasy reading.

This is pretty rare stuff. I don't know of a single night club you can go to anywhere, and find this subculture, and dominant women, so that you ccould meet them face to face, and have some fun, and get to know them, just like regular relationships form.  It's easy to find bars for TG stuff, or was 20 years ago when I was really into it, and is probably far more available now. They were gay bars, or lesbian bars, and I met several lesbians who were very attracted to me, because I looked like a very pretty woman, and had some guys hit on me, but not many, since they were gay, and thought I was a woman. I've had friends tease me about my feminine looks now and then, but not often I tend to dominate male groups I'm in. It's only females I want to enslave me.

My friends don't realize just how feminine I look, since they are close friends, and I act so masculine. I was on a fishing charter once with some friends (including the female who I'd be submissive to), and was totally dressed as a guy, in a flannel shirt, and talking like a guy, and another group of guys were on the boat, and one of them started talking to me, and then he grabbed my pole and started putting one of his lures on it, and advised me to try it, and I was shocked, until I realized this was exactly what I would do for a woman, and a few minutes later when I hooked a walleye, he shouted "She's got one."  It was a nightmare, since my friends were using my male name, and didn't realize this was going on, and this guy and his group thought I was a woman. I could hardly wait for that trip to be over.

Anotehr time I went to a specialist for a carpel tunnel problem. I have very small bones, with arms and wrists and hands like a woman's, but a male name and I was talking like a male to him and the nurse, and they set me up for a CAT scan, and he left, and the nurse said to me, "I'm not going to ask you if you're pregnant."  She thought I was a woman dressed as a man and living as a man. I was stunned.

I've had so many experiences like that I can't count them, and finally decided to get my hair cut very short; yet the other night, I was in a convenience store, and with a man's hat on, and the cash register showed that I was entitled to almost $5000 in change, and this woman was there with her daughter, who asked why her mother was laughing, and she responded, "It's totally wrong on her change.", but it's pretty rare, with my hair this short.

I dont' know if I'd be interested in a fem/dom relationship where I couldn't dress as a female. I'd do it for a girlfriend I loved, but I get a huge pleasure out of it, and would really have to like the mistress to suppress it, and frankly, if she likes me, I wouldn't expect her to require me to suppress it. I'm interested in pleasure, and the more, the better. I'm willing to be a slave, but if I can't find a mistress that I'm very compatible with, then there is no point in going in knowing you will be very frustrated in a major pleasure area. I'm happy to be totally male when we're out, but at home, I'd want lots of maid stuff.  I wish I was young, since then it's possible to find someone much easier, and do feel I'd be a slave now, if I was in my 30's or even 40's. My time passed before we had the Net, and all of these resources.









(in reply to undergroundsea)
Profile   Post #: 40
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