RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submissives?"

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RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 8:53:43 AM

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Otter: It's impossible not to care what others think about you, especially if you are self-employed. I don't care what others think in most areas of life, but am not interested in laughter every time I'm walking into courts, or finding myself with no clients.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 9:07:14 AM

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I like you am self employed, and I own my own business in a small town. You don't have to shout it from the rooftops, but neither do you have to hide it from those important in your life.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 9:19:27 AM

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The legal world is very different from anything else. If you work for a company, there are only so many people to deal with, and you can always get another job. The legal community is composed of thousands of attorneys, clerks, judges, courts, and others, all who love to gossip just like anyone else. You'd have to move to a different city to escape it, and it's a quite conservative community.

I'll be elegible for social security this year, and to explore submission, I have thought about moving to another state, where it's warm, and since I couldn't get a job as an attorney since i'd not be liscenced there, and because of my age, I've thought about seeking a job as a legal assistant or secretary. I don't make that much money these days, since this area is very depressed, and we have too many attorneys. I don't work many hours, but frankly could make as much money in such a job, withotu all the pressure (but having to work many more hours). It would certainly be exciting, from a submission/feminine point of view, but don't know that anyone would hire me, even though I'd be great as a paralegal or secretary, since I'm a very good attorney, with 30 years of litigation and other experience, so they'd be getting an attorney for the price of a legal assistant/secretary. It would be great to work like that for a female attorney, but it's certainly a huge step to make. I'd be willing to put up with the amusement some people would have, so in that sense I don't care what people think.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 9:19:58 AM

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From: Las Vegas (originally Germany)
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I came in very late at the thread, but here is my experience.
Number 1 ... I do not support my slaves financially sorry, they are here to take care of my needs. So if he wants me to manage his income, great, but that is it. Otherwise I hate to say I have yet to find a slave who even understands the concept of SERVICE to me.

You see service is not ...oh eat my pussy! You won't even get to see that, sorry. Running around in a thong all day pretending to clean. NO if you are my service slave you are CLEANING! properly and with gusto.

I should NEVER have to punish you! Discipline maybe in the beginning, but punishment means being removed from my presents. So where is the fun in that?

I am a Pro-Domme / financial Mistress, but I do go by and understand the Lifestyle principals, because regardless of what label we slap on me, I am still a Lifestyler as well. So this is where the issue comes in. Too many Players who have no clue what actual real service to a Mistress means!

I have seen very few slaves in my 16 Years of doing that even get true deep satisfaction and enjoyment by cleaning my house for me, while I get to relax for once, doing my laundry and doing it properly with their ONLY reward being what they should desire above all else. MY SATISFACTION.

So when a sub comes at me with...do I run around nude? In panties? I will treat him exactly like the slut he / she is. Sorry...you are trying to use me, not serve me. Well that means .....

Just my more then honest 2 cents worth!

_____________________________

Never assume you know how to please me. I will let you know when you do something right or wrong.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 9:26:41 AM

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I believe you misinterpreted my first post. I'd work, but would rather that the mistress control all the money, so I'd be financially dependent on her.

(in reply to GoddessRegina)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 9:42:13 AM

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Ah now that makes more sense!

_____________________________

Never assume you know how to please me. I will let you know when you do something right or wrong.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 10:32:18 AM

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From: Stavanger, Norway
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I think, he ment that he would eagerly bring all his income back to his Mistress, so he couldn`t spend any money without Her permission and acceptance. Not, that he wants Her to maintain him ;-) And I think, You have right. This kind of relationship don`t have to be boring for Dominant woman.
So, Tavane, I believe, that you will be able to find a Misstres, who will gladly accept you as Her slave. Just like Lockit said, there are a lot of people with many different tastes ;-)

(in reply to Lockit)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 10:35:34 AM

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I'm responding after reading the first page or two, then growing weary of the discussion, so pardon Me if I missed something important...

quote:

{quote}:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I am very submissive, but not into pain or bondage, or licking boots, etc. I just want to be a slave, and do everything for my mistress, including all household stuff, laundry, cooking, etc; and her nails and/or hair if hse wishes, and to be totally dependent on her financially, and to obey her always. It would be exciting to be restrained, but I'd be so attuned to obeying her that I'd not deserve any punishment. My question is, what is in this for the mistress, in terms of pleasure?

Except for the bolded portion, this sounds like sheer heaven to me. This is what I would like to find someday. However, I don't have the resources to support another adult, and that's not likely to change. I also want this fantasy slave to come in a drug/disease free, height-weight proportionate, bisexual female body somewhere between the ages of 18 and 40 with 25-35 being ideal.

Actually, Tavane, you sound very much like my ideal, except for the financially dependent part, though I have done that, in a way...

See, I've always felt I would rather have a wife than a husband, as I hate hate hate doing the things wives do, according to tradition. I HATE to cook and just keep telling myself that as soon as all the UMs have left, I can eat cereal or sandwiches for dinner and never have to cook again. I also HATE HATE HATE cleaning and only do it because it needs done. Couple this with the fact that my ex-husband-to-be was addicted to crack, making it necessary for me to handle all the finances, and I could certainly go with this kind of thing, not to mention that after having to do everything in that "relationship", I would love nothing more than to be pampered... Actually, before he got too deeply into the drugs, he was in the habit of doing my hair and nails and I've missed it since we split up. He also tended to do most of the housecleaning and laundry and I miss that, too.

*sigh* Too bad you live outside of my zone, or I might just strike up at least a friendship with you and see where it goes.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 11:34:31 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

I am very submissive, but not into pain or bondage, or licking boots, etc. I just want to be a slave, and do everything for my mistress, including all household stuff, laundry, cooking, etc; and her nails and/or hair if hse wishes, and to be totally dependent on her financially, and to obey her always. It would be exciting to be restrained, but I'd be so attuned to obeying her that I'd not deserve any punishment. My question is, what is in this for the mistress, in terms of pleasure? She has a great life, never needs to lift a finger except to get her slave's attention, and owns the money he earns, and his (former) property, but it would seem to me that most mistresses who achieve immense pleasure from dominating a male, would tend to desire a much more aggressive role, including whatever personally gives them pleasure. I find it somewhat difficult to believe that many mistresses would enjoy my type of slavery, since it's fairly mundane; simply what actual slavery was like for thousands of years, or what most women had to put up with as wives for centuries. There is nothing bizarre about it as a lifestyle, except in our modern age.. It' s just a total power exchange and actual slavery.

This is from the Original Post. I think some people missed the second highlighted phrase. Just trying to help.

Bill

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 12:29:39 PM

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To QueenIsis: It sounds like we'd be compatible, except that I'm too old by many years, and don't have a female body, just a small one, though I took female hormones for awhile, back when I was considering becoming a female, and have large pecs, so can fill out an A cup bra, but without clothes, it doesn't look much like breasts, since it's mainly muscle, and I haven't worn a bra in years. The biggest change with the hormones was fat on my hips. I hadn't anticipated that, and have never been able to wear suits since then, since there isn't room for my hips. I've had to wear sport coats and slacks, so I can buy slacks large enough for my hips/butt. I am so small-boned that I've always had to lift weights to have an upper body large enough for men's jackets, and I have to wear a woman's leather jacket, in a medium. I'm overweight now, so can wear men's sport coats, even though I dont' lift weights these days, but if I dieted, I'd be too small for any men's jackets. They are larger than when I was young. That's one reason I had no problems when I went to the Cleveland Clinic to explore gender change. They normally really discourage that, but took one look at me and seemed very enthusiastic. I said I didn't have any idea of what being a "woman in a man's body" was. I only knew that it turned me on like a billion watt light bulb to be feminine, and I wanted to try it. The psychologist actually would put aside my fears. I'd say "I don't know about becoming a female. I really like to play golf", and she said. "Well, you can play golf as a woman." I only went dressed as a female once, to see the psychiatrist who would approve the hormones, and he looked at me and said "You're not a woman?' and I said "I'm not even feminine. That's why I'm here." I was amazed that they were so willing to change me into a female so quickly. I was anticipating lots of resistance. This was back in the mid-late 80's. I encountered none of this "having to live as a female for a year" stuff, or anything. They put me on hormones and I started putting fat on my breasts and hips, and my nipples got very sore, so I called and they said that was very normal for a girl going through puberty, and not to worry about it. It was too much for me, so I stopped going, and taking the hormones, but had put on that fat, which is permanent. I sometimes wish that I'd gone through with it, but I liked having sex with women, and had a girlfriend; and it kind of overwhelmed me. I still kept becoming feminine getting my ears pierced, all my facial hair removed and, having cosmetic surgery in 1992 to have a feminine nose and chin, and after that I've always looked like a woman. My size is part of it. If I dieted, I'd only wear a size 6 or 8. I'm almost 5'8", but for some reason have the bone structure of a slender female. It irked me when I was young, that I had arms, legs and shoulders like a girl, but I was a good athlete, and had very defined muscles, so never got teased abgout it.

(in reply to subtex)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 12:53:45 PM

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To femdommistress: Perhaps I'll find someone. I've enjoyed discussing it, in any event. (obviously LOL)

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 3:28:24 PM

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My sense of things is that lawyers patronize prodommes more than men in any other job occupation, per capita. I'm sure the ladies will correct me if I'm wrong. You might be surprised by the fantasies your colleagues have already acted out... for years.

My point, though, is that I agree with OttersSwim. You sound unnecessarily cautious -- i.e., paranoid -- and it's getting in the way of your ability to meet people in real time.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 3:30:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

My sense of things is that lawyers patronize prodommes more than men in any other job occupation, per capita.

You know... I think you might have something there....

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 3:47:29 PM

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I just got my first maid and am having to balance keeping things entertaining for her and riding her ass so that she gets all her work done. Currently I am having her write her journal entries after each session so I can get a good idea of how she is feeling.

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 3:52:53 PM

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I don't like having to punish either. I am not going to punish with spanks or yelling as I know she would really like that and would just continue acting up to get those kinds of punishments. Instead, I use a timer that I attach to her apron so she can see just how much time she had to complete each task. Then if she doesn't finish I take away a peice of sxy girl clothing and replace it with UGLY GRANDMA clothing. LoL, I even told her I was going to make her wear my moms ugly stained granny panties! Fortunately she hasn't needed to be punished!!1

(in reply to MommyFiercest)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 5:21:56 PM

LdyyR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

My sense of things is that lawyers patronize prodommes more than men in any other job occupation, per capita. I'm sure the ladies will correct me if I'm wrong. You might be surprised by the fantasies your colleagues have already acted out... for years.

I can't speak as a prodomme, but I can say that you may be on to something there. I know that the majority of my past partners were lawyers. Probably had a lot to do with the stress of their profession more so than their being inately submissive. For sure they are one kinky bunch of men. At least many of them have that redeeming quality.

===============================================

As far as being involved with a service submissive wife type, I've had some experience there and found it exhausting. It would have been wonderful if service was the objective of the submissive partner, but they were too focused on the dressing up and how much attention I gave them or lack there of. After a long day at work, sure it would be nice to have the laundry done, sit watch tv, have nice conversations. But, there are times you just want to come home and sit in silence or not have focus on another person's presence the moment you enter the home till you retire for the evening.

I found even the attention I did give just wasn't enough, then of course there was the jealousy issues, because yes, I prefered masculin men when it came to sexuality. I have a friend now that I've known for close to five years now, who I've been in and out of a relationship with in the past. I adore him, but he and I aren't able to resolve the issue of his wanting to be fem and my wanting to be with alpha male types when it comes to anything to do with a sexual interaction. He can't handle me being with someone else. Even when he says he can.

In this particular relationship, doing fun girly things together, me dressing him up, putting make up on him was fun at times, but that too was becoming too much of the focus of the relationship. Oh and though he wasn't happy about the idea of me having a partner seperate from him, he was obsessed with the idea of me forcing him to nosh on some same sex specimen.

So the whole ideal of having a service sub in theary as put forth sounds good, I truly wonder. It all sounds good on paper.

_____________________________

Rosa

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 7:23:11 PM

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It might be that many attorneys are wealthy enough to afford such services, moreso than an "average" person, yet they are quite numerous. There is nothing about the profession itself which would generate submsision. It's a very aggressive profession, and nothing which would attract submissive males to the profession. Stress doesn't have anything to do with submission or sexuality. Your sexuality is what it is when you are a child; probably when you are born. I've had TG desires from the time I was a child, as long as I can remember, and though submissive desires didn't really fix until I felt the adult sexuality, I enjoyed being passive as a child, while somebody combed my hair or whatever. I don't remember much about it. That kind of stuff happens to girls more often, but I remember enjoying it. The TG desires were more overwhelming, but by the time I was an adult, I felt submission to female desires; but nothing existed to read about, so I didn't even know what I was feeling. There wasn't much to read about with TG stuff either, but girls were all around me, to envy.

I think the existence of materials can awaken and generate intense desires which are kind of dormant. I hadn't thought much about my submissive desires until I found this kind of stuff on the net, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with these desires. Perhaps it would be similar to a boy/man who had never seen a woman, so would have no idea that he would be incredibly aroused by one, until he saw his first one. You are born with the desires, but it takes an object/knowledge to awaken them.

Service submissives undoubtedly vary infinitely, both as to desires, and as people. Many people are self-absorbed, no matter what their erotic inclinations, so it's inappropriate to judge any sub or dom by one's experiences with prior persons. There is nothing about desires which has anything to do with whether you are a nice person, or what your general interests are. Particularly when it comes to intense sexual pleasure, a person will be very self-absorbed, naturally, and would need to blend in rational thought about what was fair and balanced, since erotic desire have nothing to to with reason, and are so powerful. That would probably take quite a bit of actual experience for a sub to be able to understand the necessity of focusing on something other than his own pleasure. He is the slave, after all. I'm not impressed with the reasoning ability of most people, even in non-erotic matters, so it's not surprising that when a person chooses a lifestyle based upon such intense feelings, there will be problems, and many people wont' be able to solve them. I don't expect a "ready made" mistress who somehow matches me perfectly. That's an absurd idea. She has her own desires and interests, and she is the mistress. All a person can do is to be honest about what he wants, in terms of fantasies/desires, and hope to meet a mistress who does have some degree of compatibility, in those aspects, and in other aspects of life. I woildn't expect dom/sub relationships to be nearly as stable as other relationships, or long-lasting, because of these factors, but on the other hand, two people who did experience such intense pleasure from this kind of relationship might have very happy, long term relationships, partly because the power of eroticism would constantly give the person pleasure and happiness, all of the time; and vanilla relationships don't have anything to compare with that. With the right person, a slave could have a dream life.

(in reply to LdyyR)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 7:28:30 PM

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I know plenty of aggressive female subs. Company owners. Two former prodommes. An immigration attorney. Men can't be sub in private and aggressive in nilla situations? Maybe women are more "naturally" submissive? Is that what you think?

Your "understanding" of the scene appears to be based on lots of private thoughts, and little practical experience. Mine is based on many hours of conversation and direct participation. Don't be so quick to blow me off. A prodomme and a lifestyle domme just agreed with me. You might ask yourself what your own credentials are, and whether you know more than they do.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 8:00:11 PM

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That right there would kill any interest I may of had in you. I am nobody's meal ticket, and I would not tolerate a slave who wanted to be dependent on me financially if you mean it in the way it sounds, as in you have no money and I take on all your needs.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tavane

, and to be totally dependent on her financially,
Tavane

(in reply to Tavane)

RE: Do many dominants truly enjoy "service submiss... - 2/10/2009 8:04:26 PM

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I don't disregard anyone's views or experiences, but they are just that; the experiences of one or a few people, with s relatively small sample of people they've related with. That is far from being statistically significant, and people vary infinitely, in any event. Males are dominant generally, not only with humans, but with virtually all mammals, except hyenas, but we don't live our lives based upon what happens generally; but rather based upon what we individually desire. It's obvious to me that submissive males far outnumber dominant females, which would seem to run counter to the concept that males are generally dominant; but I think it has to do more with how males experience sexuality. Their intrest in porn, and their willingness to have sex with almost anyone, just for the sake of sex, and their pursuit of females, and other factors, clearly indicate this. None of us know what it's like to be aroused like the opposite sex gets aroused, but it's obviously very different. Peer pressure also affects our behaviors. Males who live in an enviornment where prostitution is the normal way of life engage in it with reckless abandon and joy. I saw that in Vietnam, with virtually ever guy I knew, except one guy who was odd and a virgin, or perhaps gay. It was a wonderful way to live, and we all talked about how much we'd miss it a great deal when we left Vietnam. It was the only thing we'd miss, but we did talk about how great it would be to have a society which had that. I had never visited a prostitute, and haven't since, but absolutely loved it. Everyone did. I don't think females would have any interest in that, so the umbrella of male sexuality is light years apart from female sexuality. It was so nice, like going out for a nice dinner with your friends. I'll never forget it.

Males go from nothing to "I want immediate sex" instantly, whereas that doesn't seem to happen with females. Who knows who has the most pleasure. Nobody can tell. That female multiple orgasm capability must be nice, kind of like the difference between a muzzle loader and a semi-automatic rifle. You don't need to take lots of time to reload before you pull the trigger again, but if males had that, we'd never graduate from school. Once we hit puberty, we'd just have sexual fantasies constantly, and never make it to high school, or more than a few months of high school. Masturbation is essential for male learning, in my view. I don't know how these guys who like chastity actually concentrate on anything, but don't know anything about it.

So dominant females might exist in numbers equal to submissive males, (and there is no reason to think they don't) but the nature of their human sexuality and mammialian sexuality) might not trigger the sexual feelings that males experience, the way they experience them. One can only speculate, and frankly, no matter how much experience a person has, that person is speculating just as much about these things as I am, when it comes to the larger picture.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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