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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 9:05:27 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		I don't comply with rules out of fear of punishment in a relationship, usually, I do so because I want them to be happy. I don't want to be threatened into submission.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 9:08:16 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		KoM,

See I get your point but I don't intend to be a Legal System for my girl. I make my desires known and she meets them because she wants to please me. There are times in which things are not always perfect, if you have never experienced this I pray you never will, but for me Laws are followed (Or Broken) out of individual choice and regard to consequences. I do not want everything that andi does or doesn't do to be out of regard to rule, I would rather it be out of regard to her wanting to please me and show she is paying attention to what I desire.

There are those 3 matters in which I have little tolerance. When they begin, and they have once or twice, she is informed she has a choice to make, she knows what that choice is and she understands the consequences at that moment, but it is in that moment and the next few actions are hers and hers alone. If she chooses to do something that is Relationship Positive or Relationship Negative. Either way in that moment the decision is hers. I have found that this brings reality to the situation and she finds it more important to focus than she was a moment ago and is more willing to calm down and collect herself.

As to laws and cops, well I believe there is a serious problem with our legal system, I believe many of the laws we have are unnecessary as the consequences for them are non rehabilitating. My personl views on this would be far too political for this thread, The point in bringing it up is that you had mentioned Anarchy. Anarchy is more restrictive than most think. Anarchist Parties tend to have more rules (or rather ideals that if you don't agree with you aren't one of them) than you would think, Ironic I know, however the point where Anarchy tends to break down is that most people are unable to find a balance in their actions and thier actions over flow into other people lives. Part of my discipline, the life and set of concepts I am trying to teach andi, is to self govern herself in such a way as her actions do not force others to make actions. That what she does effects in a positive way only as long as it can be achieved. And that when something she does effects someone negativly that it was something that could not have been helped, that it had to be done.

I find that long lists of rules, ones that can either be forgotten or broken without consequence because the rule setter would be unaware, while in a power or authority based relationship serve little purpose other than to have a rule. I find that Rules are what we use to define a line in which an action is simply not acceptable and the repercussion of breaking said rule should make the breaking of the rule highly un favorable. If a rule is broken and no one knows (I mean that literally, when there are 100's of rules sometimes BOTH parties are unaware that a rule was broken) was there ever a rule to begin with?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 12:58:46 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		Speaking from the sub side, I don't need or want rules in my relationship. What I both need and want are clear preferences, and guidelines to meet those preferences and please my dominant. That, I believe, begins at some point during the getting to know you time in the beginning of a relationship, and continues to grow and clarify through communication and practice thereafter.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 1:20:01 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

Around here rules are not set in stone however they aren't to be broken either, rules are made to be changed as the situation changes,I don't stand and watch every moment to make sure the 'rules' are obey.I trust enought to know that they are..bounty


I agree.

Pretty well, I assume your rules are unspoken as 'a list of rules' and likely through conversation to get to know someone...the things you prefer/or not, came to light.

back to the topic of rules...

Unlikely a gal will be precise cleaning of the Cistene Chapel so honestly who needs to be told how to how to clean, cook or do your laundry.  It isn't rocket science. 

If people got to know eachother longer and likes, preferences and dislikes were discussed slowly and rationally then honestly this ridiculous idea of a list of rules would be an undone concept. 

Rules are for strangers, housekeeping help, gardeners (they know the rules so moot again)....not for someone who's whole interest (supposedly) to keep you happy.

Why make rules when you can find someone who is eager and fascinated to learn what you enjoy.  Besides, if they are so dense they need the list because of a lack of interest or a memory problem...it is likely you enjoy taking advantage of the dull-witted to begin with.  You likely deserve someone who forgets they didn't wear panties at as they bent over at a PTA meeting or a school play because it was too much responsibility to remember how the real world works. 

Yeah, some people need rules, but then again...some people need a woman who can hold your life and heart in your hands and gives you everything except a heartache and pigsty because it wasn't 'written down'.




(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 1:34:32 PM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

...As for Menstral issues for some reason every women I have been with used Tampons and it was never an issue, they just change them more often which is more healthy anyway.
Steel

Honest, I use tampons (well, when I have a period) and believe me, they can and will leak, especially if you have "periods from Hell."  It's no fun to ruin underwear, clothes, etc.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 1:47:07 PM   
utahSteelsandi


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/14/2009
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		wrong account deleted


< Message edited by utahSteelsandi -- 2/21/2009 1:48:26 PM >

_____________________________

"Steel Warm-up" was created at the Green Door in Las Vegas with Merc and Beth and WyldHrt, I don't see what the big deal is it's was just a Saturday night ... Sunday Morning to me!

(in reply to thornhappy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 1:47:52 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I am glad to say that as of yet I have never had to deal with that. There was the period after our Midget was born where andi could not use tampons and so obviously she wore them then, and once she was able to return to tampon use we had fun cutting all of them off of her. It was a Fun Night.

As for leaking, andi has modrate flow and because of this she makes extra sure to maintain cleanliness and we buy tampons in bulk. LOL

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to utahSteelsandi)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 1:53:12 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I don't like micromanagement, so a list of 40 rules would piss me off and evidence a lack of trust.  That having been said, I think that any people who are in-tune with/attuned to one another are clear on the 'rules' between them regardless of the formalization.  They have trust. 
I believe that the rules make your friend feel more secure.  The security, as you pointed out to him, is smoke and mirrors but most of the world operates under rules created by institutions that I believe are founded on smoke and mirrors, so he's just doing it on a smaller scale and with a visage that is tangible rather than not.  < shrug >  
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 2/21/2009 1:54:37 PM >

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:06:07 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Steel,
 
You have been fortunate because leakage can happen no matter how careful if the flow changes into the roaring rapids.  And women can have this happen even without major medical issues present.   

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
As for leaking, andi has modrate flow and because of this she makes extra sure to maintain cleanliness and we buy tampons in bulk. LOL

Steel


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:22:53 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

...As for Menstral issues for some reason every women I have been with used Tampons and it was never an issue, they just change them more often which is more healthy anyway.
Steel

Honest, I use tampons (well, when I have a period) and believe me, they can and will leak, especially if you have "periods from Hell."  It's no fun to ruin underwear, clothes, etc.



A tampon was enough...until I hit my 40;s. On the second day i need a tampon and a pad so panties are important. Unless you want a bloody crime scene all over your sheets. Your rules? Are ya gonna yell at her for making a mess or help clean it up as they were put upon her by the rule maker?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 2/21/2009 2:23:31 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to thornhappy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:25:40 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Fair enouugh but in 10 years I've had no complaints, no issues, and no problems. Perhaps this requirement would not work for you and if that was the case and the leakages were becomeing an issue no matter how often they were changed then I was dedicted to the relationship then I am sure a compramise would be made. I always find it funny when this topic gets brought up and it has a few times over the years there is always a complaint about this or that, yet no one notices that it hasn't been an issue for us, nor has it been an issue for the slaves I owned before.

When the situation changes for me I will re-evaluate but as long as the situation does not change for me I have no need to change the concept.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:31:36 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

A tampon was enough...until I hit my 40;s. On the second day i need a tampon and a pad so panties are important. Unless you want a bloody crime scene all over your sheets. Your rules? Are ya gonna yell at her for making a mess or help clean it up as they were put upon her by the rule maker?


No I would not yell at her.

Of Course I would help clean it up.

They are my rules and therfore as long as she diligently goes about maintaining them should doing so cause an issue yes I take responsibility because they were my rules.

Just like I clean up my sons puke when he vomits and wash his sheets when he wets the bed. He is also my son and I have a responsibility to him.

People, Right now andi is not in a situation where she bleeds through her tampons, when she does we will discuss it then. Why is this not getting through? As it stands right now things work the way we have them. To Argue something that isn't an issue is futile to the discussion.

Stee;

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:33:07 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		We live apart, and I have rules. Therefore according to your post they are of no purpose and he can not know if I break them?

I don't break them. Admittedly I will on occasion bend them and I will also immediately notify him of such bending. Even if I broke them utterly there would be no punishment set in stone, only his disappointment which believe me, is greater than any physical punishment devised.

I like having the rules I have, they aren't many nor are they complex. But they give me needed boundaries and a tangible sense of security.

It works for us, it may work for your friend.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:36:15 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I have some basic house/vehicle rules that apply to all guests regardless of orientation.
 
#1 Never bring hard drugs into my home, you will be asked to leave immediately
#2 If you are under the influence and want to drive home I take your keys and you sleep it off or call a taxi
#3 All cigarette/clove smoking is to be done outside
 
For the slaves and subs
 
#1 Be respectful and polite
#2 No arguing in public
#3 If someone or something is a problem bring it to my attention
#4 No lying.  You can take time to evaluate how you feel or even say that you cannot break someone else's confidentiality, that I understand.  But deliberate lying or omitting important information is a deal breaker.
#5 Maintain good personal hygenie and grooming.  If you fall below certain standards particular penalties will apply and you won't like those.

(edited to fix formatting)

< Message edited by Vendaval -- 2/21/2009 2:38:54 PM >

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:41:06 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

A tampon was enough...until I hit my 40;s. On the second day i need a tampon and a pad so panties are important. Unless you want a bloody crime scene all over your sheets. Your rules? Are ya gonna yell at her for making a mess or help clean it up as they were put upon her by the rule maker?


No I would not yell at her.

Of Course I would help clean it up.

They are my rules and therfore as long as she diligently goes about maintaining them should doing so cause an issue yes I take responsibility because they were my rules.

Just like I clean up my sons puke when he vomits and wash his sheets when he wets the bed. He is also my son and I have a responsibility to him.

People, Right now andi is not in a situation where she bleeds through her tampons, when she does we will discuss it then. Why is this not getting through? As it stands right now things work the way we have them. To Argue something that isn't an issue is futile to the discussion.

Stee;


We just want to ascertain how fair you are. Things do need to be evaluated to suit peoples needs. Its not futile when people older than you are letting you know that a womens body changes an physiology changes. Feelings change too.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:49:20 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
We just want to ascertain how fair you are. Things do need to be evaluated to suit peoples needs. Its not futile when people older than you are letting you know that a womens body changes an physiology changes. Feelings change too.


And equally not all womens bodies do the same thing. In fact some women get lighter, some get Heavier, others go apeshit and cause for things to be removed. The point is that as it stands, this is a non-issue. Sure things may one day change and when they do I will address that THEN. I see no point in changing the behavior now as it still suits me and continues to suit me as well as the slave in my care.

To discuss it further is futile as it would be in an attempt to change my current frame of mind, this is not necessary as there are no issues.

I do understand what you are saying, I just do not have the problem, if that changes I will deal with it then, until then we are BOTH happy with the situation.

but thank you for your interest in my subs menstral needs Lushy, we need more women like you around here.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 2:52:12 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I have heard this same sentiment from several slave/sub types, that the knowledge that they disappointed their Owner is worse than any punishment.


quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
Even if I broke them utterly there would be no punishment set in stone, only his disappointment which believe me, is greater than any physical punishment devised.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 3:14:46 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
We just want to ascertain how fair you are. Things do need to be evaluated to suit peoples needs. Its not futile when people older than you are letting you know that a womens body changes an physiology changes. Feelings change too.


And equally not all womens bodies do the same thing. In fact some women get lighter, some get Heavier, others go apeshit and cause for things to be removed. The point is that as it stands, this is a non-issue. Sure things may one day change and when they do I will address that THEN. I see no point in changing the behavior now as it still suits me and continues to suit me as well as the slave in my care.

To discuss it further is futile as it would be in an attempt to change my current frame of mind, this is not necessary as there are no issues.

I do understand what you are saying, I just do not have the problem, if that changes I will deal with it then, until then we are BOTH happy with the situation.

but thank you for your interest in my subs menstral needs Lushy, we need more women like you around here.

Steel


Well, if discussion is futile then why post? If you post you are asking for discussion? Unless you just want us to agree with you about what you said about your friends rules and to pat you on the back for yours? Okay,* Pat pat pat.* What a Dom....happy?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:33:26 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

but thank you for your interest in my subs menstral needs Lushy, we need more women like you around here.


You are welcome. Oh and its menstrual, not menstral.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:43:15 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

I have heard this same sentiment from several slave/sub types, that the knowledge that they disappointed their Owner is worse than any punishment.


quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
Even if I broke them utterly there would be no punishment set in stone, only his disappointment which believe me, is greater than any physical punishment devised.



For me, it isn't just his disappointment; it is mine as well.  I agreed to do his will; that was one of the commitments that I made in this relationship.  I take that very seriously and I don't need to be watched in order to do his will.  To do otherwise, even when there is no possibility of him knowing without my telling him, would create great stress in me.  I would be disappointed in myself at failing him.  External consequences of breaking a rule are not needed for me to keep to them; it is the internal consequence of failing that carries more weight.  He knows me well enough and has the trust to know that if he tells me to do something, then I am going to do my best to do it.

Some people like rules, some don't.  One isn't better than the other and just because people outside our relationship can't see the point of what we do, doesn't mean that there isn't one.  Our relationship and the way it is structured makes us extremely happy and fulfilled; in the end that is the only point that matters.  We have everything that we want and what we do works very well for us.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 60
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