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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:44:32 PM

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*chuckles*... a long winded response....which shows me that you just don't see the point... maybe it just wasn't obvious enough for you and I frankly don't know if I could state it any more blunt and simplier.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:45:09 PM

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Kyra, I am so happy for all of you.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:52:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

I have heard this same sentiment from several slave/sub types, that the knowledge that they disappointed their Owner is worse than any punishment.

yes a very real point of view for many.... but as Kyra has points out in manner of speaking... In disappointing me... she will also disappoint herself. Trust in a relationshiip is very important for most people... but I assure you... if one can't trust themselves to honor their own commitments to self... they will definitely will not honor the commitements they have with others. Self-Trust is the key foundation to trust within a relationship in my view.

editted to add;

It has been my experience that those that find it difficult to trust their intimate partner when there is no reason not to trust them are individuals that lack self-trust and as a result find it difficult to trust anyone.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 2/21/2009 4:55:23 PM >

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 4:59:23 PM

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Deleted Wrong Account again.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 5:04:39 PM

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Recently we've been moving closer and closer to the M/s or D/s type of relationship that we had each been seeking when we got together. For various reasons on each of our part, that was not able to happen when we first got together. It's more than a bit of a change to go from what we had to something so different. So, He's begun giving me some 'guidelines' 'rules' 'standards' what have You. Frankly, for the most part i really enjoy it. It give me a sense of satisfaction (perhaps even pride) when i'm able to reflect on my actions that prior day and know that i did the best i could for Him which essentially means for me as well.
Recently i've been very very sick, so a few of the 'rules' have had to go by the wayside. i can not sit here and pretend that i do not suffer from some guilt and feel bad about not doing the things we agreed on.....
i have no idea if this is even relevant to the conversation.
Kali

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 5:07:59 PM

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Personally, no underwear would get in in trouble, all the ruined furniture due to cum trails......

What do you do it you as the "Godly" dom order something that could get your sub hurt/harmed while in public. for example i forget im allegergic to fish and that im lactose intolerant, If i can forget You can forget In your world id be kicked out on my ass for telling you no im not eating fish, because i happen to like breathing (or so thats my interpritation)

Accidents and mistakes happen in private and public, and some times wither people like it or not it needs to be brought to attention immediantly. Wither it begins an argurment or not I think thats the main point people are bringing around, Alot of men are IDIOTS, and they place rules with no regard for their partner what so ever.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 5:28:58 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

I have heard this same sentiment from several slave/sub types, that the knowledge that they disappointed their Owner is worse than any punishment.

yes a very real point of view for many.... but as Kyra has points out in manner of speaking... In disappointing me... she will also disappoint herself. Trust in a relationshiip is very important for most people... but I assure you... if one can't trust themselves to honor their own commitments to self... they will definitely will not honor the commitements they have with others. Self-Trust is the key foundation to trust within a relationship in my view.

editted to add;

It has been my experience that those that find it difficult to trust their intimate partner when there is no reason not to trust them are individuals that lack self-trust and as a result find it difficult to trust anyone.

I strive to please him.

He strives to make me the best 'me' possible.

If I fail him, then I fail myself as well.

And Steel? I've done quite a bit of research showing that tampons are not healthier than pads. Microscopic shards of material can and often are left embedded in the vaginal wall when they are removed. Bargain brand (and it used to be nearly all brands) actually contain bleach. It is more natural to permit the flow rather than staunch it and have man made materials swell against delicate membranes.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 5:56:42 PM

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Camille,
You know i luvs Ya right? i just have to tell You that whole concept really squicks me the hell out!!!!!

i have made a choice to remain a foreign substance kinda chick....

Kali

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 6:16:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

have man made materials swell against delicate membranes.

mmmmmmm would my cock be considered has a man made material??? *g*...

but seriously.. thanks for posting your thoughts.... do happen to have any links etc that support your opinion?

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 6:36:50 PM

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Rules that step on emotional expression suck ass in my opinion. If someone told me if I walked away during an argument or heated moment would mean he would pack my bags would say heaps about that person to me. Pulease, get a grip.

I hate tampons so I will be wearing panties when I bleed. Acrually I like panties so I will be wearing them anyway if I want to.

All this male foot stomping makes me laugh and depressed all at the same time.

I can get to like, dont bring heroin into my house, that sort of thing, but dont look at me a certain way, dont say blah blah that is so whatever and mideivel in my opinion, more about an insecure guy not wanting any reflection of his own inadequacy issues.

I would roll my eyes and go find someone with more consciousness. Or be alone and feel what I feel with no one labelling it 'negative' or discourteous or whatever word used to shut down a real response.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 6:39:11 PM

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Yeah it is Wiki but I'm drinking alcohol tonight *gasp* and am feeling reallllllly lazy:
"Tampons may contain pesticides used on the cotton and chlorine which is used to bleach them. Some of the substances used to bleach tampons have been implicated in the formation of dioxin. A study by the FDA done in 1995 says there are not sufficient amounts of dioxin to pose a health risk; the amount detected ranged from undetectable to 1 part in 3 trillion, which is far less than the normal exposure to dioxin in everyday life.[1] Additionally, tampons not using bleaching or chemical treatment are available to those concerned with potential dioxin exposure."

This one is a bit ickier:
"American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology found that tampons were responsible for changes in the vagina including drying of the mucosa, epithelial layering and microulcerations. The average tampon absorbs 65% menstrual flow and 35% normal vaginal secretions; tampons of a higher absorbency are significantly more likely to cause vaginal damage. The microulcerations vary in size but may be as large as 3cm by 3cm.Biopsies have also detected foreign bodies which seem to be fibres from tampons embedded in the tissue after the microulcerations heal. Many ulcers heal once the tampon is no longer used. The possibility of infection during this healing period arises, but of much greater concern are the consequences of repeated microulcerations over a period of years."http://www.healthmatters.org.uk/issue5/absorbingissues

Please keep in mind that these are just first page results from Google and not the actual stuff I have reasearched. Perhaps tomorrow on a rum free moment.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 6:43:33 PM

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http://www.organicconsumers.org/bodycare/tampons090704.cfm

This was interesting too.

I am not one of those people that stands on the corner shrieking about the dangers of man made products, I began reading about this years ago because of my own curiousity. I just wondered... not about TSS so much but about other dangers. Ack I'm not spelling very well, so I am hushing. Hopefully. Dang. Rum makes me chatty!

Kalista I wuvs you tooooooooooooo.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 6:44:40 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
mmmmmmm would my cock be considered has a man made material??? *g*...

Seriously resisting all urges to volunteer to be a *tester*

Kali

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~~Sweedish Proverb

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 7:09:15 PM

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Lets not forget toxic shock syndrome that happened in the early 80's.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 7:17:37 PM

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Yup but I am looking beyond TSS.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/21/2009 10:15:24 PM

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I had a responses all typed up when I posted and it was still logged onto andi’s account. I will attempt to get the concepts I was originally thinking out but I am sure they will not be as vivid as they were then.

KoM,

You and I disagree a Lot on things. I got your point, I just disagree, you could have written it out in crayon and it still would not have elicited the response you are going for which is apparently to have me align myself to your belief on this subject. I simply do not agree with you, and that is fine because I don’t belong to your relationship dynamic, just as you do not belong to mine. I see your point for rules you made it rather clear with your over the top sarcasm and Punch and Judy routine. The point remains that the Dynamic between andi and I is one of desire she desires to do things in a way that pleases me so having rules for them isn’t necessary. Add to this the fact that I have no desire to micromanage my submissive any further than is necessary to correct something that I am not happy with. Rules in this house are simply stated concepts that are understood to have an explicit consequence. If you feel it is necessary to lay rules for many things then that is your prerogative as it is your dynamic to command as you see fit.

luciouslips19,

Forgive the Typo I don’t spell check before I post as the program they use won’t download on my computer and I usually just don’t care, regardless of the misspelled word the idea was understood.

The OP asked how people felt about the rule process, at some point someone took specifically to my rules and I attempted to answer. I believe I have answered all questions I am simply not willing to change my mind on a rule until it affects the relationship I am in. To continue going around and around on my desire to maintain a rule just because you do not agree to it when you are not subjected to it just seems futile to me. However ask what you wish, you are right this is a Discussion board I just wonder what you hope to get out of it, I believe I have stated my intentions as to the rule you dislike.

Kalista07,

This illustrates a wonderful point. I never want andi to feel she is failing me because she is unable to live up to a RULE that was set about. I want her to know that she is serving me to the best of her ability. Her responsibility to me is simply to be the best she can be, I try not to set situations in place on an infinite basis that could be changed due to illness. As for the Panties thing I believe I have made it clear that should the necessity for this rule to be altered we would do what was needed and make a ritual of it as soon as we could and should age or health change the ability for this rule to be lived up to the concept behind the rule would have already been achieved and thus not as important to me. The point I have tried over and over to make is that it works for us in the here and now, and to us that is all that matters.

hopelessfool,

I think somewhere you may have lost me completely, or your comments weren’t directed at me either way, you and I agree. My andi is an Adult, she knows how she is feeling inside and I don’t so when something isn’t right, she knows that I expect to know what is going on as a part of our relationship. I take her opinions into account on everything because she isn’t some plaything that I believe I have infinite power over, she is a human being, and an adult, and more than capable of taking care of herself. She has however opted to transfer authority over her to me, she did so knowing that I wouldn’t abuse or neglect it. That being said andi also knows that I am a reasonable man and so when she needs to tell me something she just says it and our relationship is such I usually understand. The arguing in Public, or storming out of a room, or out of the house are things we have never had to deal with because over the time we have been together she has learned how to approach me with things that I may not initially like and because of this we find harmony in most issues. There are times however when her medication was forgotten and she gets somewhat less than understanding and things fell apart and as I was hurt and broken inside over it I told her that she had a choice, and that it was hers to make. She choose to stay and that is what made us stronger, make no doubt about that.

Camille65

I believe I should make it known that andi, and every girl I have been involved with has used tampons, as I do not use them I know little about them other than to trust that they know what they are supposed to be doing with them. I did not choose for andi her choice to wear tampons, nor the brand (She likes OB Regular and Super in the dual pack, I even go to the store to get them for her), nor do I tell her how often she needs to change them or what not. She is a big girl, as was every other girl I have been with, and like I have said, so far there has been no issue. Should one arise I will call you for your info, until then I leave that decision up to her and as long as she is content with the issue than I am too.

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/22/2009 6:05:05 AM

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quote:

1. You are never to wear panties – If you look over another thread you will see there is a reason for this and I usually tell them so, truth be told I could care less if they wear underwear but the training process is a wonderful thing by controlling such a small part of a persons routine it becomes easier for that person to voluntarily give up larger parts. In Example: If I control her Panties, having control over how she goes about her daily activities becomes easier to relinquish.

I find this one of the most stupidest rules that so many men have jumped on board believing that is required..of course the story of O movie encouraged the stupidity without taking into consideration reality

Especially considering that 80% of all females will have some form or degree of incontinence in their lifetime... most women find it so humiliating and embarassing that they cannot even bring themselves to go to the doctor to get help to deal with ...

If they are experiencing the occasional wee bit of leakage which could be caused by a weak pelvic floor, hormonal problems,.prengancy, medications, stress, neurological damage, they are probably managing by using a feminine napkin/pantyliner taped inside the panties, so as not to have urine soak thru, so she manages quite well using that method without having to embarrass herself

the problem is that is in introduced as a rule before women have developed a trust or bond to feel confortable discussing and disclosing an issue which can be humiliating to them.. so they find themself stuck is 3 options

!) walk away ending the relationship using another excuse inorder to hide her shame

2) admit it .. so as to be allowed continue wearing the napkin...(which very few women would be able to do in an unestablished relationship)

3) try to hide the shame hoping later to confide. which would mean wearing panties at anytime not together .. which then put her into a catch 22 of trying to hide her secret shame and living with the guilt of the lie so either the stress of that or suddenly it is time to take the relationship to the next level becomes too much so the ends and walks away

And when the girl walks away the Dom is shaking his head thinking he was just being played and the girl never truly want to make a commitment to being a sub but he never realize his own stupid rule is the reason because she cannot comply and it is too humiliating to explain.. and how many woman ended up walking away from this lifestyle out of frustration because they can not do the pantiless thing due to medical reasons be it incontinence or menstrual issues (believe it or not tampons are not a solution for every woman)

If incontinence only affected 1 to 5% of the female population it wouldn't in my view be so stupid, but when it affects 80% of woman .. and making it a training requirement of someone you don't really know, and do not know if they can physically comply with is assinine and can add to the psychological shame that prevents them from seeking medical advice.

and it doesn't just affect older women ... mine began in my earlier 20's as a result of pregnancy but as I got older it progessively got worse due to hormonal changes and a back injury. With heavy days of my menstrual cycle I used a tampon and a pad, one of the issues that made the pad a necessity is that I would pass very large gelitanous clots, the tampon could not absorb fast enough so they tended to slide past the tampon to the pad..... I am not some exception to the rule ..these are common issues with many women which makes going pantiless rule ...a cruel unrealistic joke.

Asking of it later on ...when a good solid foundation of trust is established could work and could have the added of benefit of providing the moral support to encourage her to see a doctor about as most forms of incontinence can be corrected with meds, pelvic floor exercises, or surgery and for those that cannot be fixed it can still have value in reducing frequency and amount. though not the perfect it can still be a psychological benefit for those that do suffer from .

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/22/2009 7:27:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

things fell apart and as I was hurt and broken inside over it I told her that she had a choice, and that it was hers to make. She choose to stay and that is what made us stronger, make no doubt about that.

Wow, congratulations on a 180 degree turnaround in what, six or eight months? You went from "I'll never say obey or leave because we're married and we have a child together and leaving is not an option" to "make a choice, take your meds, keep the house clean, obey me or leave."

Congratulations. Life must be much happier for both of you now.

Cali

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RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/22/2009 8:11:18 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maya2001

.....making it a training requirement of someone you don't really know, and do not know if they can physically comply with is assinine and can add to the psychological shame that prevents them from seeking medical advice.

I would say making most thingsg a training requirement or a rule of behavior before you know the person is rather silly. Simply understand your property and then you will understand why you need to do to care for it and enjoy it. It seems rather stupid to say that I going to go a buy a car that will take me out to the bush for hunting... and you end up with Ford Tempo....mmmmm not only it isn't 4 wheel drive... it might be difficult to throw a moose in the back. Of course you could go get yourself a 4 wheel truck. But people are not that simple. It takes alittle more time to get to know a person well beyond that of car.

Now... I will outright state... that my girls don't wear panties. It the Rule. Of course... when I am away from home (sometimes weeks at a time).. it might be seen as a pointless rule... since how the hell do I know if they are complying to the Rule! Well... I don't need to know... BUT, because our relationship is one with people of integrity and trust. These kind of people don't make rules without some thoughtful consideration and they comply to rules because they are people of integrity and trust. My girls trust me to make, adapt, change rules that are not just to get my rocks off.. but for the benefit of the relationship. They can share any information they want and trust that I will listen and take what they have to say with thoughtful consideration... and oh my god... sometimes they even had to wear a panty for a bit. But they didn't do it without my Blessing.... even though they could of do so... and I never would of known and they knew it. But that is the beauty of knowing your with someone(s) of integrity that can be trusted. You can trust them to obey.. even when your not their. It's not just about them being submissive and obedience and all that great D/s stuff. It about Integrity! Self-Trust! They don't have to prove obedience to me and I don't have to watch them for every moment to know they are obeying the rules.

I manage a territory that takes 16 hours to drive from end to end. My employees are spread out and have to abide by a rule book that is over 3 inches thick. I can't be everywhere at once... but I do make surprize visits and it is really easy to tell who is complying. I can watch them for 2 hours and see them engage in an activity that is in compliance to well over 50 rules. They do them effectively because they have developed the habits.. the good habits to do the job. It really is not any different in the house. They have alot of good habits/routines that cause them to comply to the rules. Short cuts/ bad habits just don't go away. Watch them long enough and if they are taking short cuts and bad habits.. it always comes out. They are fortunate.. they get three strikes and their out.. my girls get one strike. One strike... because I hold them to a higher degree of trust. But, I haven't had to get any of them out the door... but I have fired a couple people at work... and there is a good chance another will be given his wallking papers before the year is out.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Maya2001)

RE: ~~Rules, Rules, Rules~~ - 2/22/2009 9:03:49 AM

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From: Austin Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
Camille65

I believe I should make it known that andi, and every girl I have been involved with has used tampons, as I do not use them I know little about them other than to trust that they know what they are supposed to be doing with them. I did not choose for andi her choice to wear tampons, nor the brand (She likes OB Regular and Super in the dual pack, I even go to the store to get them for her), nor do I tell her how often she needs to change them or what not. She is a big girl, as was every other girl I have been with, and like I have said, so far there has been no issue. Should one arise I will call you for your info, until then I leave that decision up to her and as long as she is content with the issue than I am too.

Well that certainly came across as snarky.

The information and clarification of my mentioning the potential problems with tampons was requested by me.

My first post was purely a response to the concept of rules and my second post was in answer to the tampon tangent that resulted from your post then others responses.

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(in reply to SteelofUtah)

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