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dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:15:26 PM

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/2/2007
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she was drunk, i let her beat me a bit too much, i liked it, we are going to meet again, she said she was sorry, i really liked her and her female sub(who basically saved me), i am willing to try again, am i an idiot, , it brought back old bad memories from when i wad a younger man, i really liked her and think it was a mistake my fault more than hers..........should i give it another whirl, shr promised to be sober and said she would go to aa with me, she said that after a couple of days after our meeting, i feel like a idiot because it happened so fast, just looking for some feedback, trying to process it all thaks for your time everybody, and if you feel inclined, let me have what you really think, i;m going to shower, then see what ya'll have to say

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:23:51 PM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

It's not Haha, it's the price you pay when you play a little tipsy with someone you aren't familiar with, and prepared to deal with the outcome.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with drinking and playing around- but I only do it with C, who I've been with for over a yearish now. We have 'fight nights' where it's no protocol, no rules... just don't step on the cat, and stay away from the window. (Eep)

She beat you, you liked it. At the time of the incident, everyone was happy- it's not her fault you changed your mind. Now that things have changed, you just need to talk to her, and perhaps get to know each other a little better before you play again. Communication is key- if you 'want' to go to AA, go- but if it was just a little too much to drink, and she was a little heavy handed... who cares?

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 3/31/2009 7:30:22 PM >

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HBIC

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:27:53 PM

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Joined: 11/20/2008
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You are an adult in charge of your life and what you let happen to you. If you are looking for a relationship like the one you've gotten a glimpse of, than be a big boy and don't come sell this lady out to us. If you are to take responsibility for your choices, don't do it again, than come whine about how it reminded you of a bad time and place.
Good luck, M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:30:30 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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She chose to dominate you drunk???? She beat you too hard and even triggered bad memories???? And you have a question in your mind about what needs to happen?

She is bad enough off she is considering AA???? She does not have control of herself. You think she can handle the responsibility of you too? In addition to another submissive who has somehow come to the conclusion this person is safe enough to play with????? You let someone stone drunk tie you up and beat on you????

*walks off shaking my head*

lovingpet

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:32:05 PM

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Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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He said he liked it at the time. It's not like she was brutalizing him against his wishes or something.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:33:33 PM

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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It was dangerous and dumb. Your a grown up take responsibility for your own misdoings.
If you have a drinking problem then yes, AA is a good place to start working on it. As for the Domme, it sounds like she has her own issues that she needs to work on.

Good luck,
~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:36:16 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

As someone who personally feels the domination is primarily about control of the 'self' before the 'other', I am with lovingpet on this. It is one thing to have one, maybe two drinks (as in, spread out over an evening and not impairing) and quite another as you described. Somethings I never do no matter how little alcohol I have had (like bondage with any drinking is a big no no including for the sub) but anal play is ok with a few drinks. as for corporal...closer to the little to no drinks for exactly the reasons you listes as why it was a less than ideal situation.

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:37:20 PM

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We sometime like what isn't good for us and the end results don't sound so peachy either. Lots of bad decisions going on. Sure folks play when tipsy. Is it a good idea? Opinions will vary. In this case, seems maybe not such a hot idea. That's all.

lovingpet

(in reply to Lynnxz)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:41:34 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2007
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how do i delete this, i am idiot and did not mean to sell anybody out, i should have just kept my f***in mouth shut, sorry folks

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:44:22 PM

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/2/2007
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moderator can you delete this thread

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:44:36 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

How are you 'selling' someone out? It's a legitimate posting.

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"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

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RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:44:53 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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That's your concern???? That you sold someone out? Not your safety, sanity, or what kind of future you may have with this woman?

lovingpet

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:52:17 PM

Posts: 34
Joined: 6/2/2007
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quote:

FullfigRIMAAM1

i am not selling anybody out, i really like this person, i want to see her again, just confused, people do make mistakes,

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:55:30 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Not that I am suggesting that this is the case here, but you do realize they whole 'it was a mistake' line is how abuse victims justify staying with their abuser. Its a very short line from 'it was one time' to 'it was my fault' to 'it won't happen again they are REALLY sorry' to etc etc....

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Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:57:43 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
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Here's the deal. Give her the benefit of the doubt and go forward. I personally do not want to see an abused subbie thread from you down the line. You are making a choice. Live with the consequences. First you make a decision that had poor consequences and whined about it here and now you are choosing to make what appears to be another bad decision. I am not interested in hearing about it if/when it all goes to hell. Seriously, be a grown up here.

lovingpet

(in reply to topleaseyou555)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 7:59:23 PM

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

Is his punishment for an 'abused subbie' thread more abuse?

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Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:01:20 PM

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Joined: 11/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
That's your concern???? That you sold someone out? Not your safety, sanity, or what kind of future you may have with this woman?
lovingpet

I agree, though it was I who said he's selling her out. It's true I don't care for men who kiss and tell... More importantly though, if a 47yo, of sound mind and body, plays with someone who is excessively under the influence and out of control, and he wants to do it again, he has a bigger problem than the fact that she drank and beat him a little too hard, requiring fem sub to save him.

My point is that topleaseyou555 needs to know the answer to this, and if he chooses to do this again, get his head checked by a professional. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:02:56 PM

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Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline

i am not here to whine

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:05:43 PM

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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You are in your forties. You are an adult. Do what you want to do. But... dude you have a serious problem in needing someone/something so badly that you lose brain cells to have it? AA will not be a miracle over night change... anyone who gets drunk and beats on someone and needs another to stop it or save you... is just not right in my opinion. You need that, want that... you aren't right either. Are you drinking?

You know this isn't right or you wouldn't have posted. Now do the big boy thing and go safe and sane or don't. Your choice.

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: dangerous - 3/31/2009 8:07:20 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

Is his punishment for an 'abused subbie' thread more abuse?

Absolutely! I know that makes me a sadistic bitch, but what can I say?

lovingpet

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

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