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RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/13/2009 11:55:57 PM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba
Oh, so I say something nice and therefore I'm exhibiting "passive aggressive" behavior. Why is it so offensive to compliment a woman on her good looks? Another thing -- could you lay off on my marital situation?

Asking if her picture is 10 or 15 years out of date sure doesn't seem like a compliment to me!

Observer, I think it's understandable that a lot of guys (not az) are frustrated that they can't find what they want here. There *are* a lot of scammers and pro's, and some of them aren't very up-front about it. Even among those who are real, women tend to be overwhelmed with mail/options, while guys rarely have anyone genuine contact them. I've written to a few people who's profiles came up on the main page, and have a 100% reply rate, usually with something substantive and interesting. It's my impression that most men have more like 20% of the women they contact with anything but "no thanks."

Saying or implying that most women just are greedy gold diggers though isn't fair or accurate. The scammer profiles should be fairly easy to screen out, although you do have to wade through a lot of them. Focus on people who seem to be real, and perhaps try to meet people through your local community, or openminded people through vanilla interests - you'll have much better luck than if you spend all your time complaining. Most of the scammer types aren't even women, I think - most of them come across to me like they were written by men.

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 5:36:51 AM

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

For me, it just makes me mad. The activities associated with BDSM such as flogging, edge play, etc, are skills that are developed over time.
To charge for them is not something that I would consider because to me my dominance is a gift.

Best Wishes,

Mistress_Jan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Newsensation

Hi all. I've noticed that there are a lot of domme women on this site seeking submissive men who are "generous". I'm not talking about the professional dommes who advertise here, I'm looking more at the non pros. I'm just curious to see what others think about this? Personally, it seems to me that many of these women are on here simply to take advantage of naive men whom they have no intention of actually doing anything with in person. There was even one profile I saw where the girl (she was about 20, so she was a girl!) had a "wish list" of items listed that she was hoping people would buy for her. I don't know... I suppose financial submission is a legitemate form of this lifestyle, but as a sub guy I get rather annoyed and offended by this.

(in reply to Newsensation)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 6:00:41 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

Dominance is a gift? My ass...that's as much of a cop out as "my submission is a gift". No it's an act or set of acts. It's an act or set of acts done for various different reasons for different people. Skill sets don't give clear inclination to anyone's power dynamic preference...I promise.

I don't think I've actually commented on this thread yet (I may have...I refuse to check at 13 pages). So here goes...

Women who are genuinely seeking someone to serve them, who are searching within their local area, asking for someone not already attached don't get solicited for money. They get asked for sex or play with no strings attached often from some guy who's cheating on his wife/girlfriend/still living with his mom etc. They have nothing really to offer the woman...who presumably is supposed to be "in charge" when it comes to the power dynamic. If they're supposed to be "in charge" they're supposed to get to do whatever they want...include bitch about the lack of moral fiber that some men (and women) are made up of. We're talking about character flaws in this case. These women are looking for more of a commitment than the guy's orgasm/fetish. Basically, they're looking for a relationship.

Men who are seeking to get their rocks off at little to no charge or effort to at least make the proposition worthwhile for the woman/women involved, are often already attached and can't offer more than their own sticky mess to clean up afterward, get turned down by women who don't charge for their time because those men don't have ANYTHING to offer those women. That leaves those guys with Professionals. Some pros are willing to sacrifice their legal security and bend their own standards when the check is big enough, paid service topping. Some aren't. Some feel that if you're paying someone to "dominate" you, you better be ok doing what they want to do at the time and if you don't like it find someone else. These guys are in the position that they're in because they don't have what it takes to get past it. And by "what it takes" they refuse to commit more than their orgasm/fetish to any interaction with these women. Basically, they're not looking for a relationship.

I'm sure as any married man or attached s-type can tell you, "serving" costs money. It comes in the form of direct pyment of the bills rather than a quid pro quo arrangement where there's a smack for every bill paid. As the personal servant of a professional (and yes She turns 40 this year and was actually in Her prime as a Professional while in Her mid-late 30's) who does professional domination, not paid service topping, I often feel the urge to tell married guys, "what the hell did you expect?" I mean really? You're going to cheat on your wife and you don't really have anything to offer because your wife has all of the rest of you...ummm yeah that doesn't work out for the woman/women who are supposed to be "in charge". Cuz really...doing it for free wouldn't make them Dominant. No matter who you are or what you do...you have to earn your play with Dominant women and some D-type men. If you don't have the time and energy to commit because you're already attached...it's gonna have to come out of your pay check. No one gets shit for free.

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
and yes I did consider hiring MsKitty before our relationship began...but then I spent two days painting Her house, planning a fundraiser with Her, finding Her sponsors, and moving Her shit...guess what...I earned my play.

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to MissJanice2)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 8:33:21 AM

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I don't see how getting paid for it makes it domination or gives the woman any power either. I agree that there aren't many women who are interested in cheaters, especially if they are older and not physically attractive.

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 9:25:53 AM

Posts: 33
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

There is a very good UK fetish site that separates pro Dommes, who make money from BDSM, from those who are genuinely into it.

The pro dommes have a separate search page and a Pound sign on their profile - if a pro-Domme advertises in the non pro-Domme section she is banned from the site.

The sheer number of pro-Dommes on here seeking money or gifts or 'kind', 'considerate' or 'generous' men spoils this site for all the genuine subs seeking a LTR with a non pro-Domme.

Non wonder the genuine non pro-Dommes got so fed up at being unable to find a sutable playmate or partner as no doubt many subs, both male and female, get fed up, give up contacting people on here and probably eventually give visiting the site altogether.

Collarme could do itself a service by separating pro Dommes from those who do not seek financial reward.

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 3:35:51 PM

Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Dominance is a gift? My ass...that's as much of a cop out as "my submission is a gift". No it's an act or set of acts. It's an act or set of acts done for various different reasons for different people. Skill sets don't give clear inclination to anyone's power dynamic preference...I promise.

I don't think I've actually commented on this thread yet (I may have...I refuse to check at 13 pages). So here goes...

Women who are genuinely seeking someone to serve them, who are searching within their local area, asking for someone not already attached don't get solicited for money. They get asked for sex or play with no strings attached often from some guy who's cheating on his wife/girlfriend/still living with his mom etc. They have nothing really to offer the woman...who presumably is supposed to be "in charge" when it comes to the power dynamic. If they're supposed to be "in charge" they're supposed to get to do whatever they want...include bitch about the lack of moral fiber that some men (and women) are made up of. We're talking about character flaws in this case. These women are looking for more of a commitment than the guy's orgasm/fetish. Basically, they're looking for a relationship.

Men who are seeking to get their rocks off at little to no charge or effort to at least make the proposition worthwhile for the woman/women involved, are often already attached and can't offer more than their own sticky mess to clean up afterward, get turned down by women who don't charge for their time because those men don't have ANYTHING to offer those women. That leaves those guys with Professionals. Some pros are willing to sacrifice their legal security and bend their own standards when the check is big enough, paid service topping. Some aren't. Some feel that if you're paying someone to "dominate" you, you better be ok doing what they want to do at the time and if you don't like it find someone else. These guys are in the position that they're in because they don't have what it takes to get past it. And by "what it takes" they refuse to commit more than their orgasm/fetish to any interaction with these women. Basically, they're not looking for a relationship.

I'm sure as any married man or attached s-type can tell you, "serving" costs money. It comes in the form of direct pyment of the bills rather than a quid pro quo arrangement where there's a smack for every bill paid. As the personal servant of a professional (and yes She turns 40 this year and was actually in Her prime as a Professional while in Her mid-late 30's) who does professional domination, not paid service topping, I often feel the urge to tell married guys, "what the hell did you expect?" I mean really? You're going to cheat on your wife and you don't really have anything to offer because your wife has all of the rest of you...ummm yeah that doesn't work out for the woman/women who are supposed to be "in charge". Cuz really...doing it for free wouldn't make them Dominant. No matter who you are or what you do...you have to earn your play with Dominant women and some D-type men. If you don't have the time and energy to commit because you're already attached...it's gonna have to come out of your pay check. No one gets shit for free.

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
and yes I did consider hiring MsKitty before our relationship began...but then I spent two days painting Her house, planning a fundraiser with Her, finding Her sponsors, and moving Her shit...guess what...I earned my play.

What a splendid post BoiJen

_____________________________

My Members Site.
http://mistressrougeuk.c4slive.com/

http://www.clips4sale.com/store/13392

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 3:51:57 PM

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch

It's funny you mention "gun in hand". My husband and I were planning to go run a couple clips through our 9mms and zero in his SKS this weekend. Nothing like a little bonding.

Glad I amuse you. (not really). Well, a little glad...I should start charging for my comedy & wit

What the heck is an SKS? Is that a type of car? shoot up his car? ;/

SIr Loin Steak.

P.S. What, is my profile subtle? ;0 If your a subbie/slave and want me, send emails on your knees. ;/

(in reply to AlexandraLynch)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 4:09:43 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/4/2009
Status: offline

i have never posted on this forum but this topic is enough to really get me going, and here is why......

i think its absolutely disgusting that these people come on here expecting to showered with gifts, tributes or whatever else you want to call it, first of all where i am in the uk its against the law for the following reasons...

*anyone providing a product or service in this manner would have to be registered as a self employed business
*legally, whether its gifts or tributes or whatever word you want to call it, if its extra on top of the wage you earn in a year, you must declare it to the inland revenue
*you must pay tax and insurance on whatever you recieve
*you must have a company VAT number and also pay VAT

therefore if any so called 'pro domme' does not do any of the above, they are breaking the law

further to this, if they had the intelligence to bother reading the rules of the website, they would see that requesting tributes of ANY kind is against the rules of the site, which is why i ALWAYS report any pro domme i see under 'illegal activities'

dont stop reading, theres more.....it is highly UNPROFFESSIONAL to come on a website with no respect for the rules and start demanding money or gifts from people, in my eyes, a professional is someone who is legitimately qualified in their field of legal occupation

and last but by no means least, this site was created for people to have FUN, these so called unproffesional 'pros' ruin that experience for everyone, its because of people like them that this site is a shadow of its former self and this site should be used for fun, not personal gain

and so there we have it, whether you agree or not its irrelevant because that is my opinion on the matter

discuss

(in reply to Newsensation)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 5:14:05 PM

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucysboy

i have never posted on this forum but this topic is enough to really get me going, and here is why......

i think its absolutely disgusting that these people come on here expecting to showered with gifts, tributes or whatever else you want to call it, first of all where i am in the uk its against the law for the following reasons...

*anyone providing a product or service in this manner would have to be registered as a self employed business
*legally, whether its gifts or tributes or whatever word you want to call it, if its extra on top of the wage you earn in a year, you must declare it to the inland revenue
*you must pay tax and insurance on whatever you recieve
*you must have a company VAT number and also pay VAT

therefore if any so called 'pro domme' does not do any of the above, they are breaking the law

further to this, if they had the intelligence to bother reading the rules of the website, they would see that requesting tributes of ANY kind is against the rules of the site, which is why i ALWAYS report any pro domme i see under 'illegal activities'

dont stop reading, theres more.....it is highly UNPROFFESSIONAL to come on a website with no respect for the rules and start demanding money or gifts from people, in my eyes, a professional is someone who is legitimately qualified in their field of legal occupation

and last but by no means least, this site was created for people to have FUN, these so called unproffesional 'pros' ruin that experience for everyone, its because of people like them that this site is a shadow of its former self and this site should be used for fun, not personal gain

and so there we have it, whether you agree or not its irrelevant because that is my opinion on the matter

discuss

There are bigger concerns out there than this version of prostitution.....

I won't go into all the possibilities, but suffice it to say that if you spit on the side walk in some places, you are breaking the law. Often the law is just another way to tax......

I can imagine them paying a toll tax for walking down the street......sadly....

(in reply to lucysboy)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 6:26:38 PM

Posts: 82
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: male2shemaid

The sheer number of pro-Dommes on here seeking money or gifts or 'kind', 'considerate' or 'generous' men spoils this site for all the genuine subs seeking a LTR with a non pro-Domme.

"Spoils the site?" Sure, just like all the deaf submissive female scammers in Africa spoil the site for the 50-year-old male dominants looking for a 22-year-old model-perfect sub. The only thing spoiled is your fantasy.

(in reply to male2shemaid)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 6:27:50 PM

Posts: 153
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: aBondageTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: male2shemaid

The sheer number of pro-Dommes on here seeking money or gifts or 'kind', 'considerate' or 'generous' men spoils this site for all the genuine subs seeking a LTR with a non pro-Domme.

"Spoils the site?" Sure, just like all the deaf submissive female scammers in Africa spoil the site for the 50-year-old male dominants looking for a 22-year-old model-perfect sub. The only thing spoiled is your fantasy.

_____________________________

She who must be Obeyed and Her demands Satisfied :)

I'm like an apple with a razor blade in it - sweet until you bite into me!

Why does Mommy have such big teeth? The better to eat you with little girl....

(in reply to aBondageTop)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 6:35:10 PM

Posts: 153
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Dominance is a gift? My ass...that's as much of a cop out as "my submission is a gift". No it's an act or set of acts. It's an act or set of acts done for various different reasons for different people. Skill sets don't give clear inclination to anyone's power dynamic preference...I promise.

I don't think I've actually commented on this thread yet (I may have...I refuse to check at 13 pages). So here goes...

Women who are genuinely seeking someone to serve them, who are searching within their local area, asking for someone not already attached don't get solicited for money. They get asked for sex or play with no strings attached often from some guy who's cheating on his wife/girlfriend/still living with his mom etc. They have nothing really to offer the woman...who presumably is supposed to be "in charge" when it comes to the power dynamic. If they're supposed to be "in charge" they're supposed to get to do whatever they want...include bitch about the lack of moral fiber that some men (and women) are made up of. We're talking about character flaws in this case. These women are looking for more of a commitment than the guy's orgasm/fetish. Basically, they're looking for a relationship.

Men who are seeking to get their rocks off at little to no charge or effort to at least make the proposition worthwhile for the woman/women involved, are often already attached and can't offer more than their own sticky mess to clean up afterward, get turned down by women who don't charge for their time because those men don't have ANYTHING to offer those women. That leaves those guys with Professionals. Some pros are willing to sacrifice their legal security and bend their own standards when the check is big enough, paid service topping. Some aren't. Some feel that if you're paying someone to "dominate" you, you better be ok doing what they want to do at the time and if you don't like it find someone else. These guys are in the position that they're in because they don't have what it takes to get past it. And by "what it takes" they refuse to commit more than their orgasm/fetish to any interaction with these women. Basically, they're not looking for a relationship.

I'm sure as any married man or attached s-type can tell you, "serving" costs money. It comes in the form of direct pyment of the bills rather than a quid pro quo arrangement where there's a smack for every bill paid. As the personal servant of a professional (and yes She turns 40 this year and was actually in Her prime as a Professional while in Her mid-late 30's) who does professional domination, not paid service topping, I often feel the urge to tell married guys, "what the hell did you expect?" I mean really? You're going to cheat on your wife and you don't really have anything to offer because your wife has all of the rest of you...ummm yeah that doesn't work out for the woman/women who are supposed to be "in charge". Cuz really...doing it for free wouldn't make them Dominant. No matter who you are or what you do...you have to earn your play with Dominant women and some D-type men. If you don't have the time and energy to commit because you're already attached...it's gonna have to come out of your pay check. No one gets shit for free.

Just sayin...

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
and yes I did consider hiring MsKitty before our relationship began...but then I spent two days painting Her house, planning a fundraiser with Her, finding Her sponsors, and moving Her shit...guess what...I earned my play.

You are absolutely awesome BoiJen. Please let the wonderful MsKitty know that if she finds a way to clone you - I'll pay top dollar!

_____________________________

She who must be Obeyed and Her demands Satisfied :)

I'm like an apple with a razor blade in it - sweet until you bite into me!

Why does Mommy have such big teeth? The better to eat you with little girl....

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 10:11:55 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba
Are you jealous?

Yes. I have always wanted an avatar as cool as yours. But CM says I am too ugly to be allowed to post a pic.

CM wouldn't let me choose my own image. That one is from their collection.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 10:20:31 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

The german, but getting slowly international site sklavenzentrale differenciates in three groups.

Pros
people who start as private, but the admins of the site get mails, that they are charging
and non pros.

The system is like usual in here a bit complicated and needs a lot of maintenance, but users love it.

The site is free.

The three categories are for all users, so it is concerning photographers as much as pro dom/mes.

< Message edited by ZenDragoness -- 5/14/2009 10:21:55 PM >

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to male2shemaid)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 10:22:52 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: male2shemaid

There is a very good UK fetish site that separates pro Dommes, who make money from BDSM, from those who are genuinely into it.

The pro dommes have a separate search page and a Pound sign on their profile - if a pro-Domme advertises in the non pro-Domme section she is banned from the site.

The sheer number of pro-Dommes on here seeking money or gifts or 'kind', 'considerate' or 'generous' men spoils this site for all the genuine subs seeking a LTR with a non pro-Domme.

Non wonder the genuine non pro-Dommes got so fed up at being unable to find a sutable playmate or partner as no doubt many subs, both male and female, get fed up, give up contacting people on here and probably eventually give visiting the site altogether.

Collarme could do itself a service by separating pro Dommes from those who do not seek financial reward.

Yes, CM would do all of us a favor is they had a separate area for pro dommes. Unfortunately this might not be feasible because of the flap over Craigslist erotic services. Now it seems everyone is harping on Craigslist so now the regular personals are going to get flooded with pros.

Europeans are less prudish about issues like prostitution or play for pay so perhaps what you are suggesting is easier there. The U.S. is way too obsessed with harassing prostitutes -- and there seems to be rampant paranoia about pros advertising on the internet.

(in reply to male2shemaid)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 10:23:09 PM

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

SKS is a still secret Erlkönig of Merceds Sirloinsteak.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/14/2009 10:27:04 PM

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

Boijen sounds very puritanical. There sure a lot of them on this website for some reason.

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/15/2009 5:56:57 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Boijen sounds very puritanical. There sure a lot of them on this website for some reason.

If it sounds like I have a "pure" ideal that seems almost religious in observance in regards to how things work for most ProDommes, it's because I do.

MsKitty, who defies your stated "statistics" about age and whatever (I know quite a few others if you'd like as well, clearly states She's not on this site to look for a personal encounter rather She was looking for someone who's willing to show their face, is in good shape, unattached, and fun to play with to do fetish videos with. Most men on this site don't fall in that category because they're either a) obsessed with their own fetishes so much so that their limited in how their willing to perform, b) highly unattractive, c) married or otherwise attached, d) can't or won't show their faces in a fetish video, or e) any combonation of the above. She also mentions in Her profile that yes, She will still consider sessions.

The reason and the only reason She says "consider" is because dead beat, lazy ass, "I want it for free my way and I still want to call it 'submission'" guys write Her more messages and give Her more phone calls (thanks to old ads in DDI) at all hours of the night who don't follow through when She clearly states "You're not going to get off in My sessions, I'm not taking my clothes off, and no increasing how much you pay Me won't change my standards" and for some reason they can't comprehend that these are unmoveable basic guidelines in how She behaves as a professional. Otherwise She'd be happy to take on the business risk (yes She had her business registered and paid taxes on Her income...DBA: MKB Productions) and operate as a full-time Professional.

But because She's not willing to sacrifice who She is as a Dominant and expects that individuals looking for Professional Domination are really looking for Domination, she gets called whore and prostitute and all kinds of names said with venom and nastiness because the guy on the other end doesn't want to pay and has decided that She should want to do what She does for their "fun".

I have to tell you....those people suck. They suck big fuckin donkey dick. There is no reason that married men who can't pick up their balls to their wives should go around treating other women like shit because they aren't willing to perform to that man's wants. It's insulting to that woman and that man's wife that he behave as such. And finally down to the point, I'm damn tired of dealing with people like you because you do fall into the category of too damned lazy to get his life together and either pay for a session or leave your wife. And no I won't lay off that you're married because that fact makes you fall out of the line of moral acceptability...otherwise you wouldn't be lieing to your wife about it.

Am I judgemental? Yes. And I'm ok with that.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine
Taking orders for when the cloning process is complete
And starting off the morning with a hop and a skip! :-)

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to azjojoba)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/15/2009 7:45:14 AM

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline

All the more reason I could never switch.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/15/2009 8:09:51 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely

All the more reason I could never switch.

Um. What?

BoiJen, most excellent posts!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Fitznicely)

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