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Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 7:50:59 AM

Posts: 59
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline

Greetings,

I have a question for the Dommes who are significantly older than me. I am 23. It seems like almost every time I send a message to a dominant woman in her late 30s or 40s, this is the basic reply I get: "Thank you for your message. You seem really sincere and have a great profile but you are too young for me. Good luck in your search."

So, my question is what does "too young" mean? Does it mean that, because many subs my age are immature, insincere, and in this for themselves, the women don't even want to waste their time giving me a chance? Or is it more the fact that the women have a psychological hang up about dominating a man young enough to be her son?

Do any of you actually prefer significantly younger men?

Do any of you have a certain age (younger than you, older than 18 obviously) that you would never consider for a relationship? If so, why?

Thank you for your time, ladies.

-Michael

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 7:57:01 AM

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I have nothing in common, not even BDSM experience with the very young as they have not had the time to acquire it. The taboo of an incestuous feeling encounter has nothing to do with my choice. Age difference is not just numbers but life experience and common likes and dislikes and lived experience, even to the mode of dress; manners; music and art interests. The older I become the more I sound like my Grandmother, and now I know why.

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:09:50 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

The above response is from someone who obviously hasn't had the joy of meeting me.

As an actual response to the OP...some Dommes just need to be surprised by the overwhelming ability and cultural understanding of an s-type at our age (I'm 23 as well). I'd also argue that checking Dommes out online limits their first impressions to what they can read about you rather than your actual presentation and character. Try hitting a local SM event.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to Boredoms)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:13:18 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

My basic guideline: If I could have given birth to you, you are not a candidate.

This is my PREFERENCE. I am not hating on the young, by any means. Young men are fine as friends, and I have taken them on as "trainees" in the past, so they could have safe experiences with play. I have a host of other reasons why I won't allow the possibility of a relationship with a young man, but that was a heated area of discussion in another topic, so I will leave it.

Why are you looking at women so much older than yourself, OP?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Boredoms)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:14:32 AM

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Keep trying. Ms. Mlicious enjoys playing the cougar role. Even bought some tight animal print jeans to celebrate it. There are some older ladies who enjoy having young slaves. Don't give up.

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"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:17:20 AM

Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My basic guideline: If I could have given birth to you, you are not a candidate.

This is my PREFERENCE. I am not hating on the young, by any means. Young men are fine as friends, and I have taken them on as "trainees" in the past, so they could have safe experiences with play. I have a host of other reasons why I won't allow the possibility of a relationship with a young man, but that was a heated area of discussion in another topic, so I will leave it.

Why are you looking at women so much older than yourself, OP?

LOL - LadyH said exactly what I was thinking!

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:18:03 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

and Ms.M is HOT!

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:19:28 AM

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

Greetings to the young one:

I am 49. I am very serious about what I do. You may not be having any luck because older women are serious minded and know exactly what they want in this life. My thing is no drama.
Ususually, and I am not saying always, but in some cases, younger subs are just not serious.
You may want to start off with someone your own age until you can find an older domme.
When I was 23, I had no sence of respect for myself much less than respect for any one else.
It is kind of like we have been there.
Keep trying. I have a feeling it will be a tough road for you.

Best Wishes,

MJ

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:19:55 AM

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

I am 32, my slave and soon to be husband is 22. There is nothing wrong with a large age gap is you have things in common. Perhaps when you read these profiles, you should look and see if there are age preferences stated. I have always prefered younger men because the older ones tended to want to settle down and be home bodies where my younger partners went out and had fun. Maturity trumps age, in my opinion.

DV

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to slavekal)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:21:52 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissJanice2

Greetings to the young one:

I am 49. I am very serious about what I do. You may not be having any luck because older women are serious minded and know exactly what they want in this life. My thing is no drama.
Ususually, and I am not saying always, but in some cases, younger subs are just not serious.
You may want to start off with someone your own age until you can find an older domme.
When I was 23, I had no sence of respect for myself much less than respect for any one else.
It is kind of like we have been there.
Keep trying. I have a feeling it will be a tough road for you.

Best Wishes,

MJ

With all due respect...that was you and how you lived your life....not this guy or me.

Just because you failed to have respect for yourself or take the chance to become conscious of life at an early age doesn't mean everyone has fallen down that hole. Try not judging another person by your own mistakes.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to MissJanice2)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:23:24 AM

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

My basic guideline: If I could have given birth to you, you are not a candidate.

This is my PREFERENCE. I am not hating on the young, by any means. Young men are fine as friends, and I have taken them on as "trainees" in the past, so they could have safe experiences with play. I have a host of other reasons why I won't allow the possibility of a relationship with a young man, but that was a heated area of discussion in another topic, so I will leave it.

Why are you looking at women so much older than yourself, OP?

Ahem...;-)

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:23:51 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Maturity does indeed trump age, DV! But, a ten year age gap is much different than a twenty year one! Shoot, I've been out with 36 year olds...

And okay, not wanting to sound all sexist, but since chicks are better, of COURSE BoiJen is a superior example!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to VampiresLair)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:28:25 AM

Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline

BoiJen:

You remind me of someone I work with.
I have the same right as you do to speak from my experiences and my past life. The truth is that basically I feel, and that is my feelings in which I am entitled to feel is that a 23 year old is not ready for a full relationship and not only that they should not have to give up their freedom and life. It is the best time of their life so they can enjoy it.

Best Wishes.

One day, I hope you find what it is that you are so angry about.

MJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissJanice2

Greetings to the young one:

I am 49. I am very serious about what I do. You may not be having any luck because older women are serious minded and know exactly what they want in this life. My thing is no drama.
Ususually, and I am not saying always, but in some cases, younger subs are just not serious.
You may want to start off with someone your own age until you can find an older domme.
When I was 23, I had no sence of respect for myself much less than respect for any one else.
It is kind of like we have been there.
Keep trying. I have a feeling it will be a tough road for you.

Best Wishes,

MJ

With all due respect...that was you and how you lived your life....not this guy or me.

Just because you failed to have respect for yourself or take the chance to become conscious of life at an early age doesn't mean everyone has fallen down that hole. Try not judging another person by your own mistakes.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsK

(in reply to BoiJen)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:29:57 AM

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

Hello,

I am 43 and My slavehusband is 30... I've always been attracted to people based on who they ARE, not what age they are. I've Dommed (and had lengthy relationships with) men twice My age, and half My age. That said, I do tend to hang with a younger crowd because I seem to enjoy their company more easily. My slavehusband keeps Me young and I keep him balanced.

Don't give up, and if you're ever in Georgia, look Me up!

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:34:10 AM

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

I love that phrase, "with all due respect"---it's such a great euphemism for "you are an idiot and here's why!"

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Calandra)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:34:55 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

In twentysome days I will turn 47. I am interested in sincere women that want to serve. I don't particularly care what their age is. For some reason I tend to attract much younger women. I am not complaining. The two girls that are coming here next month are both younger than my adult children. It doesn't bother me at all.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:35:47 AM

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

I'm not seeking a disagreement, here, but My slavehusband joined Me when he was 21. We've been together for almost 10 years and never once have I doubted that he was making a mature, heartelt and INFORMED decision to serve Me.

I often say that he is an old soul in a young body and good god what a RIDE! It used to amaze Me when time and again we would be thinking on an issue and when we'd start talking about it, we'd approach it from similar viewpoints and have similar goals.

Of course You have the right to be attracted to whomever You wish, but to paint all young ones as immature or not ready for the challenges of life is a bit narrow imo.

_____________________________

Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

(in reply to MissJanice2)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:36:33 AM

Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

subsubtle, the Dommes who told you that you are "too young" are the only ones who can give you the reasons why. If you're asking for general reasons, that calls for general answers, which tend to provoke flame wars. I can only speak for myself when I say that I absolutely love younger men, but would hesitate to get involved with someone your age for several reasons. One of the biggest is that, right or wrong, I think someone your age should be looking for a life partner to start a family with. Obviously, at 52, that would not be me. I so enjoy being a mother and grandmother that I would never dream of hindering a young person from becoming a father.

(in reply to subsubtle)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:40:27 AM

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

quote:

One of the biggest is that, right or wrong, I think someone your age should be looking for a life partner to start a family with.

O s---.

Brb, gotta go pop out some crotchfruits.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to kttqnp)

RE: Question for Dommes 35 and older. - 4/5/2009 8:40:31 AM

Posts: 460
Joined: 12/4/2006
Status: offline

I'm 46 and my maid is 25. I wasn't seeking out someone that much younger than me but when me met we almost immediately hit it off. That said, I can't really take her to my work functions (and I don't go to her professional functions), and most of our shared friends are scene friends. So one reason a Domme may not consider you is that you might not fit into other aspects of her life besides the kinky ones. But you never know, so don't give up.

(in reply to subsubtle)

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