quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: badlilthang

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterDarkSadist

She's no slave girl, or you aren't making the point that she is subservient to you and that she is expected to follow your commands.  For me, this would be a "do or get the hell out" situation.  I always try to correct the problem, but if the problem doesn't get resolved, I have a serious talk that usually goes something like this:  "I expect you to behave in a manner that is respectul, dutiful, and brings honor to this house.  You are not currently doing that, and as such you have 2 options.  Shape up, or get out."

*amazing*...

If you disagree, why not articulate why.  Instead of posting a vague and erronious remark that has no meaning what-so-ever except to convey your disagreement. 

***You are absolutely right, Sir - my apologies...You said "I have a serious talk that usually goes something like this:  "I expect you to behave in a manner that is respectul, dutiful, and brings honor to this house.  You are not currently doing that, and as such you have 2 options.  Shape up, or get out." - and i was thinking the following: You expect her to behave a certain way, and it is either that or leave. My question is - do you teach her how to behave - or is she supposed to find out by herself and be "set up"?

It is simple.  She is not following commands, which means that she does not respect him, and their power dynamic is broken.
***the OP's girl may have a serious problem with catalogueing cd's....something that is easy and not even something they need to think about - can be an obsticle that is impossible to overcome for someone else.  i have a close friend who is dyslexic, for instance - smartest guy in almost every other way - photographic memory when it comes to motors and engines and such....but if i commanded him to catalogue my cd's - i would be setting him up in a bad way. i KNOW this - but not everyone has an easy time admitting to their weak sides...and if a person fails miserably i one thing several times - i think my reaction would be - why can't she do this - how can i teach her how - is there another way to do it so it will be possible for her to do this....

I am not going to live a vanilla life, so therefore if my power dynamic is broken, and I cannot resolve it, then we split ways.  Sure, I said it in stronger terms, but that's basically what should happen here.  Either she gets the point that I won't tolerate it, and changes.  Or I don't tolerate it, and we split ways.  Hell, I was even kind enough to give a warning.  (this is assuming, of course, that there aren't any particularly valid reasons for the trouble in the first place.  There is a girl who I am talking to that just had surgery.  I would not expect her to be able to serve in any capacity at the moment, and I have actually confined her to her bed, except for food, bodily functions, and proper hygiene). 
***You have worded this differently now - smiles - so i can see where You are going with this.but if Your "power dynamic" is broken, as You said...why should it always rest on the submissives shoulder? The responsibility for teaching should be just as important - as the learning...*S*...i pick things up easily - i learn fast - but if a Dom gave me a screwdriver and told me to go work on a car engine...i would be doomed...i have NO technical skills whatsoever...and without any teaching - and if this was one of His demands - our ways would part. ***
You probably think I am a pompous ass who cares not for my girl.  You are wrong, on so many levels that I cannot begin to even start to think about wanting to express them.  The simple fact is this.  Either she obeys or not.  If not, then HE is responsible for correcting that, and if he cannot, then he has to accept a vanilla relationship (which is probably what she wants), or move on.  I don't do vanilla, so I would be moving on.
***nope...not thinking that at all - smiles - i simply think that each and everyone of us has to do what it takes to be happy and live in harmony. If the Dom repeatedly asks His girl to do something she is incapable of  - knowing the reason why - He has failed. Then is He really mastering Himself? Like AnnaofAramis so beautifully put it -  said above: "Be her Master, be her guide, be her teacher, take her by the hand and lead her to be better and to be where and what you want her to be."


FURTHERMORE

Can we please stop taking a post regarding a personal situation (such as how I would deal with my personal situation), and applying it to your own, or every possible situation in the universe.  The point of posting your opinion, is that it is valid about your situation.  Your situation might be close to someone else's, and might assist them.  If it DOES NOT APPLY TO YOU, then disregard and move on.  You don't have to make a point just to demolish mine, just because it does not fit your unique situation.

For example;  The lady with right side weakness, yes, it would be incredibly stupid for me to order you to beat an egg with your right hand and stand on your right leg, and then when you could not accomplish this task, to disown you.  That would be a moronic act.  However, you applied my GENERAL statement to your own very specialized situation with the intent of showing that my entire point was grievously incorrect.  Sorry my dear, while I feel for you and wish you the best of luck, I cannot, with enough words, go through the entire book of diseases and make a case by case analysis of what I would do to overcome each and every condition that is in there. 

And, I thank you for inspiring me to post an entirely new thread on just this topic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch
I'll never understand why someone would "crave" punishment. To want and maybe need to be "beaten", I can get that lol but punishment?, would seem to me there are other issues going on somewhere.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheDude77

I've got a rather serious problem with my slave girl.  When I tell her to do something, but it's not a "right now" situation, she almost never does what she is told.  Example:  I recently told her to label a bunch of CDs I'd burned and it took 2 months of reminders and being punished to finally get it done.  And our living room went almost 6 weeks without getting vacumed at one point.

I've tried punishing her (we don't use "corporal punishment" for punishment, only play).  We've had several serious conversations regarding whether this was really what she wanted or not.  She swears up down and sideways that being my slave is what she wants.  Recently when I threatened to take away her collar she begged me crying on her knees not to.  But in the end she still doesn't do the things I tell her to do.

Her primary excuse is that she doesn't remember my instructions, or that she misunderstood me.  And for quite a while we worked to address the problem from that point of view.  But more than once recently we've had situations were we discussed my instructions in detail so I know she understood them.  Then I gave her several reminders, and she still doesn't do as she is told.  I believe she just don't consider what I'm telling her to do important.

In many ways she is a wonderful girl.  Every morning when I get out of bed I know I'll have a fresh cup of coffee made just the way I want waiting for me.  And she is very caring and loving.  But in the end if I can't count on her to do what I tell her to, then I'm not interested in keeping her as a slave.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarinaKitty

Very true. recently, Master commented on how He doesn't feel comfortable punishing me anymore, and I ended up having to admit to Him that, at this point, I will, and that no matter what, He will need to still do it. (I hope I can stay out of trouble now  :p ) 

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarinaKitty

Very true. recently, Master commented on how He doesn't feel comfortable punishing me anymore, and I ended up having to admit to Him that, at this point, I will, and that no matter what, He will need to still do it. (I hope I can stay out of trouble now  :p ) 

LOOK, wouldn't life be so much more angelic, if you could be the best girl in the world, and if you need a fuckin' beating just beg for it? Most men would go to town for that scenario.

Ron

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

Okay, so this started 6 months ago... someone give me the Cliffs Notes version so I don't have to re-read the whole thing... did the CD's get made/cataloged/whatever and did the living room get vacuumed???

Cali