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RE: Unruely slave - 10/28/2009 10:15:30 PM   
masterlink65


Posts: 683
Joined: 11/3/2007
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doesnt remember instruction? how the hell does a slave not remember to vacuum for 6 weeks?
i can walk next door and get a fresh cup of coffee. a slave does what its told. is that simple enough? i would figure a way to attach it to the vacuum cleaner, and i would also tape a marker in one hand and a CD case in the other, gagged of course, so i wouldnt have to listen to this ill mannered slave that needs obedience training.

(in reply to TheDude77)
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RE: Unruely slave - 10/28/2009 10:38:59 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
OP:

man the fuck up or continue to let your SELF be trained..

GM

(in reply to masterlink65)
Profile   Post #: 102
RE: Unruely slave - 10/29/2009 4:26:50 AM   
MasterAramis


Posts: 279
Joined: 7/29/2008
From: Connecticut
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quote:

Doesn't seem strange to me at all. The core problem is that she is not obeying. His post was focused on that. We're telling him we need more information to ferret out WHY she is not obeying.


Ahh, finally the voice of reason! To me this is better than jumping to conclusions or assumptions.

Great Job for pointing this out.

Aramis

_____________________________

"He who would be a man must be a master. He who surrenders his mastery surrenders his manhood." - Players of Gor

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 103
RE: Unruely slave - 10/29/2009 4:48:31 AM   
hannabanana


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/29/2009
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Is she depressed?  Someone that unmotivated makes me think a trip to the doctor might be a good idea.  My second thought is that she's testing you because she feels that you're not being as dominant as she would like you to be and she is trying to push you into making her do these things.

(in reply to MasterAramis)
Profile   Post #: 104
RE: Unruely slave - 10/29/2009 11:54:30 AM   
PainfullyCurious


Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline
I agree with you hannabanana.
I don't know a lot about bdsm, but I do know a lot about behavior.
If she truly loves pleasing and yet she can't bring herself to do what she loves, she lacking motivation.
If she's forgetting simple things, she's lacking mental clarity. She can't concentrate.
If behavioral methods of correction aren't working then, stop assuming you're doing something wrong behaviorally. If it's not behavioral, it's emotional.
Move on to deciding how you would like to handle the fact that she may be depressed.
It's definitely worth screening for, even if just to rule it out and be able to let her go with a clearer conscience.


quote:

ORIGINAL: hannabanana

Is she depressed?  Someone that unmotivated makes me think a trip to the doctor might be a good idea.  My second thought is that she's testing you because she feels that you're not being as dominant as she would like you to be and she is trying to push you into making her do these things.

(in reply to hannabanana)
Profile   Post #: 105
RE: Unruely slave - 11/3/2009 7:02:59 AM   
PainfullyCurious


Posts: 157
Joined: 10/26/2009
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Hmmm... If depression is ruled out there is one more thing to think about:

Issue 1:

Maybe you are still in control. Hear me out... Maybe she is acting out to get you to be dominant (like so many people have pointed out) but she's not doing it to test you. She's doing it to let you be you. To put you in a position to be a very strong and very assertive dominant. She's giving you the opportunity to be as harsh as you want to be.

For example, If you punished her a little for forgetting to vacuum the first time (or for something else) and she saw that you enjoyed punishing her, it's really you that she is pleasing by putting herself in these situations. She may not even realize why she's doing this. She just may be compelled to do so (and if you've kept her around this long, she may be on to something).

If you don't enjoy that aspect of bdsm, then it's not unlikely that she might have learned to please this way from someone else who did. Ask her about that. Ask her if she thinks you enjoy punishing her and watch her face very closely. (It may be common knowledge to you that she knows you enjoy giving out a little punishment, but the strength of her reaction should help you gage whether or not you are barking up the right tree.)



Issue 2:

If it's gotten to a point where it's jeopardizing your relationship and that makes you uncomfortable (as it probably should) call her out on it. She may not consciously realize that's a sign that things have gone way too far.  Before you say that's ridiculous or call her stupid, remember how it easy it is for people to feel unappreciated in relationships. Some people threaten to walk for years before she actually do. Your sub may not see the situation as so-close-to-beyond-repair even if you've pointed it out. It just may not be her experience that someone saying they are really going to end things really means that you are going to end them.

(PS-I can't take credit for the idea that an unruly slave is being that way to please. I remember the concept from one of the books that Anne Rice wrote under a pen name in the Sleeping Beauty series. Basically it was explained that there was a slave that would always act out and get sent to the dungeons not because she refused to accept her master's authority, but because she had discovered that deep-down it pleased her master to know she was often being punished so severely. I think it was towards the end of the first book, or maybe in the second book of the series.)

It sounds like you may have a slave that's willing to take all the "abuse" you can dish out and then some. If that's what you're looking for, cherish it.

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 106
RE: Unruely slave - 11/3/2009 7:54:30 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
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rats..I'm just not sure that would be worth the effort.As a horserider, I like the ones that enjoy been ridden! They love being part of a unit...the ones that love to cause trouble...while fun for awhile...gets sold quick.

(in reply to PainfullyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 107
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