RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 1:53:14 AM

LadySweetOrSour

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Miss Wyld. That's why I brought cake. Hoping that those happy with their weight would enjoy, and some others stuff their face and stop typing. Let's hope that really is the end.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:03:35 AM

NorthernGent

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General reply:

I think people are easily impressed by appearances and we do tend to form groups with norms and stand behind those norms.

But, I think there's a significant distinction to be made:

1) Not being attracted to someone whom you consider to be overweight because appearance is something that is important to you when choosing a partner; and you have your idea of that which constitutes suitable appearance for you.

2) Making a judgement on the character of an individual based on his/her appearance, i.e. equating lazy with overweight etc.

There is a difference between the two. I can understand 1 and wouldn't necessarily equate that with being shallow; whereas 2 is unreasonable.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:04:38 AM

WyldHrt

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*smooches the loverly Miss M*
Pass the cake please, Maam.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:07:24 AM

WyldHrt

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Well said, NorthernGent.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:08:16 AM

simpleplan2

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I think we're better at discussing it

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:52:51 AM

LadySweetOrSour

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C'mere Wyld One and let me rub frosting on ya and lick it off.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 6:11:50 AM

Mezrem

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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I gave an opinion based on my experience. I did not say it was fact and i did not even say that in my opinion it was all. I also did not pick you out and address the comment at you. A little touchy perhaps?

Um you quoted me... so yes you did pick me out. If you don't want to be called on making assumptions about people you may wish to avoid quoting them... Am I touchy, maybe a little. I don't care for assumptions being made about me by those who do not know me.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 8:53:12 AM

MARAA

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I am not even overweight, only a few pounds over my ´normal´(for m e), Im robust with lots of muscles,that makes me look a little chubby. I have also lost alot since I exersise and eat very healthy. But ppl can be really shallow or idiots when it comes down to weight,for no reason. I met a Dom that accepted me as I was, we agreed in me loosing weight, he knew about all circumstances and or probs concerning that, and we talked through a very long time, also he had seen me over cam so many times. There were no surprises. But in the end I was worth nothing to him only because of a number on the scale that didnt fit his ideas. I use to weigh more on a scale looking lesser,because of muscles and so on. He was staring himself blind on a number. It is funny I am never short on admirers anyway.

it is not weight.. you can look marvelous no matter what you weigh. Now I know,I wouldnt even think about someone that dont have the guts to be with someone not fitting standards. preferences is another thing and that is okay. we all have different preferences. But way too many just dont dare go outside the box.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 10:10:10 AM

LadyPact

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I'm in full agreement that this has gone on quite long enough. Speaking as someone who's been on both sides of this (both sickly thin and now overweight) let Me tell you that, for the majority, threads like this don't help anyone. All that is happening here is the reinforcement of females being told how they are supposed to be. Don't you think there is enough of that already?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 11:55:57 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: simpleplan2

I think we're better at discussing it

*snorts coffee* man there's been some priceless one liners on collarme these last few days.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 11:58:33 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
All that is happening here is the reinforcement of females being told how they are supposed to be. Don't you think there is enough of that already?
[/color]

*sighs* And this is why you are right and why I had hoped to never post on a fat thread again (so much for that resolution). Even my own viewpoints which are apparently mostly acceptable still don't actually help anyone and arguably are hurtful. I really really need to just pass these on by forever more.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 12:12:13 PM

IronBear

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BDSMers are just ordinary people from all walks of life, ethnicities, colour and creed as well as all shapes and sizes. Why should they be different from the rest of the great unwashed public in size acceptance?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:23:58 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
All that is happening here is the reinforcement of females being told how they are supposed to be. Don't you think there is enough of that already?

At the risk of extending an already long thread, I wanted to say thanks for putting into words the biggest reason I find these threads annoying.. . M

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:26:08 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

C'mere Wyld One and let me rub frosting on ya and lick it off.

You should have been to the munch I attended the other night :)

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 2:55:58 PM

missturbation

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quote:

Misst, if you say something about group x, person A who is a member of group x is likely to feel quite legitimately that you mean them in particular. For example, when someone claimed that she doesn't "believe in switches," I figured she meant me. *shrugs* I'm not fat, but still get offended at some of the nasty posts in this thread.

I'd have to disagree. Saying something from experience as an opinion about a GROUP of people does not in any way legitamise someone taking something personally. Just comes across as a bit touchy to me.

quote:

You came onto the thread to say that fat threads get a lot of attention and reaction, that no one has to accept anyone else, you don't understand people who risk their health by being fat, and people who say they accept and are content with their bodies are probably full of **it.

Yes i did up until you say i said people were full of shit. I didn't even say probably. I said it had been my experience, there is a difference.

quote:

True no one has to like, love, accept, or speak to anyone else, but where's the humanity in that?

Please spare me the dramatics and humanity crap.

quote:

As to risking lives, how many times have you risked your health and life (in what would seem a more immediately fatal way than fatness would be) being, and playing in this lifestyle?

It may seem a more immediately fatal way than fatness but its really not. Obese people, skinny people, middle size people, BDSM people could technically drop dead at any time.

quote:

And how do you know folks who accept their bodies and know they're hot aren't well adjusted and just pushing back against the stereotype? Is there a specific type in whom those words would always be believable?

I never mentioned people who truly accept their bodies and know they are hot. All power to them i say, each to their own and anyone who is happy being obese / fat is all good by me.
What i actually said was that SOME people who hide behind being happy and shout the loudest in these threads are trying to convince themselves more than they are others.

quote:

Um you quoted me... so yes you did pick me out. If you don't want to be called on making assumptions about people you may wish to avoid quoting them... Am I touchy, maybe a little. I don't care for assumptions being made about me by those who do not know me.

I may have quoted something you said but i know i replied generically and never to you in particular.

At the end of the day as i said all along more power to those who are comfortable in their own skin. Just a pity people can't be comfortable enough to rise above bating in these type of thread. Myself included.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 4:12:03 PM

oceanwinds

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I do agree this tread should die, but may i please have a piece of cake with frosting? pretty please?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 4:35:44 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

I do agree this tread should die, but may i please have a piece of cake with frosting? pretty please?

Agreed..... i am PERFECTLY willing to let the fat thread go....As long as i get some cake....

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 9:29:22 PM

YourhandMyAss

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threads not gonna die if we all keep asking for cake you know.:D

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

I do agree this tread should die, but may i please have a piece of cake with frosting? pretty please?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/22/2009 9:31:32 PM

stella41b

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Is this the fat thread that's wearing thin?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/23/2009 6:11:45 AM

GoddessBlossom

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Ok where to start....
I'm a big and tall girl (182 cm/ think almost 6 ft), so I know what I'm talking about.

First about being a big girl in the D/s scene: I have gotten several comments about subs that like a taller and bigger Dommes more because they see it as a physical way of being overpowered. (not speaking for all subs here, I never hide it online that I'm a big girl, so I probably attract the ones that are into that, just like blond Dommes attract blonde lovers for example)

There are a lot of vanilla guys who love us big girls too, so I would have no idea if the D/s scene is more open to it, just think some subs appreciate it more.

Then for lots of the comments I have read on here....
- being fat really doesn't mean unhealthy: I don't drink soda, only water. I don't even like chocolate, candy, sweets and desserts. I haven't been to a Macdonalds or fast food restaurant in ages. My only problem is that I don't work out (have a busy sitting job and my only work out is doing the household) and that I don't eat enough. (yes, not all fat people eat non-stop throughout the day) i'm really trying hard to make myself eat 3 times a day. normally I would just eat some plaintoast at 1 or 2 pm, and in the evening a big plate of home cooked food.
- Clothing size means nothing, from when I was young I always had a big size, but I wasn't big then, I was just taller then all the other kids. You should ask an athletic and tall basketball player what his clothing size and weight is, you will be surprised. Don't use clothing sizes, use BMI.

Oh and on this one I just had to comment: from Ialdabaoth: Also! Realize that plenty of people (including doctors) will use "unhealthy" (when talking about larger people) as a code word for "ugly". Plenty of other people (including doctors) will use "unhealthy" (when talking about thinner people) as a code word for "I'm jealous of how thin you are".
--> since when does being big means being ugly and being thin means everyone is jealous at your figure? *laughs* please don't use your opinions and views so generalized. There really are people (yes even guys) who think big is beautifull and being thin is ugly. *slaps her hands on her cheeks and makes a surprised Macaulay Culkin: home alone Face*
(and yes I realize that most people think the way you do, but not all of them)

So judging by the comments on this thread, NO this lifestyle isn't more acceptant of sizes :D

(PS: english isn't my first language, so I cannot express myself in the way I would want to, if you read anything weird, don't sweat about it)

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