RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 10:39:40 AM

subtee

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~FR

I'm gonna say "yes," given that thin women can be characterized as "Barbi" or "Barbi-doll" over and over without so much as a thought to it's being a slur...

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:14:51 AM

SlaveBlutarsky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BigdawgsPSP

quote:

A question for you though, you say you're a big girl, always have and always will be, and then profess to having body image issues and fears about what people think. Why wouldn't that motivate you to lose weight? If it's something that emotionally limits you from doing something you'd like to do, then I would imagine that it's manifesting itself in other areas of your life as well, no?

SlaveBlutarsky.... i would like to clarify one thing...

i am not unhappy with my body and I do not have body image issues... as a matter of fact i have lost 70 lbs in the last year and a half... doubtful i will lose much more at my age. I am a VERY healthy fat girl with no health issues - none... and even the docs say so... i do move like someone a lot smaller then me and it has not limited me in how i play or in my life - i actually work a fairly physically demanding job.

That is not what gives me pause... it's the attitude i saw here. i have no doubts i can pretty much do anything a barbie can - and probably have (you'd be surprised!) but my Master does not subject me to humiliation except as punishment and i would not like to feel it someplace i was going to have fun.

Thanks for the encouraging words and PMs. . i can say that i feel less worried than i was and my Master also thanks all of you that have shared your experience with me.

Very nice, thank you for clarifying. Congratulations on the weight loss, that's very impressive and something you should be proud of.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:21:22 AM

MARAA

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The problem with this society that too often(or in general) only o n e s t a n d a r d b o d y is allowed to exist in peace. And that is wrong, because we are different otherwise so how the hell should all fit one mall. it is not sane. just look at other centuries. when diets and preferences been cut out that is still a problem, it is not about looks,since as you say,many would choose other than standard mall,if they dare.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:25:08 AM

MARAA

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And big congrats with the weight loss, and do you really think it is fair to "judge" and be mean towards those that have done all in their power,but still are overweight? I dont think so. besides I wouldnt touch a superficial person with a spounge no matter what I or they look like. Never. theres gotta be more to life.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:30:27 AM

WarKirby

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On my part, I would personally say yes.

When it comes to bdsm, I'm interested in a long term relationship, as well as one off sessions. But at the moment, I can't see myself in a long term vanilla relationship, so outside of bdsm, looks are really the only relevant thing to me, as there I'm only looking for temporary fun. Within BDSM, I consider a lot more things in determining attractiveness, than just looks. The right attitude, compatibility in kinks, etc, are far more important to me than weight, and I couldn't really care what someone looked like if they fit what I'm looking for in other ways.

Probably relevant, I'm overweight myself, but doing something about it. lost 3 stone in the past few months, and continuing to do so. I eat a <1200 calorie per day diet consisting mostly of proteins and vegetables, and have done so for the past 5 months. as well as taking regular exercise.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:36:10 AM

BigdawgsPSP

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my apologies subtee... you have a very good point.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 11:43:43 AM

subtee

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No worries, Pretty

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 12:48:28 PM

YourhandMyAss

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Being a "big woman" always have been always will be and her having body issues could be entirely different issues that loosing weight won't fix. Some people are just larger than others, and will always be so because of genetics, and somep eople will always have self esteem issues that do not go away with loosing weight.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

A question for you though, you say you're a big girl, always have and always will be, and then profess to having body image issues and fears about what people think. Why wouldn't that motivate you to lose weight? If it's something that emotionally limits you from doing something you'd like to do, then I would imagine that it's manifesting itself in other areas of your life as well, no?

I guess it's just weird to me that people would not do the things necessary to overcome those emotional roadblocks. Do you think that you would be happier/less affected by these thoughts if you lost the weight or is it something else?

Just curious.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 2:07:52 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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SlaveBlutarsky's post is perfectly apropos, if someone is very big, and has body image issues. While it may be true that losing weight won't remove the body image issues, it's possible that it might help significantly, so why not try? I think that dismissing what someone says arbitrarily, because the suggestion may not be fun, isn't helpful either.

It's important not to complain, if one doesn't want to hear what anyone has to say on a particular subject. If I do want others' opinions, I'm also grown up enough to realize, some of it I may not love immediately. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 5/24/2009 2:09:45 PM >

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 2:56:41 PM

YourhandMyAss

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FullfigRIMAAM1 I wasn't dis missing it just saying it's not always applicable. My mom was obsessed with me being slender, looking slender, being perceived as slender and at 10 she wanted me to wear panti girdles, and take dexituim so I wouldn't be hungry. I was also a very skinny child, and as a joke she used to sing fatty fatty 4x4 couldn't get through the kitchen door. At one point last year *and I am fat now* I don't know how you can be happy with your body like that I wouldn't be* I am supposed I have no body issues now as an adult.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 3:07:25 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

FullfigRIMAAM1 I wasn't dis missing it just saying it's not always applicable. My mom was obsessed with me being slender, looking slender, being perceived as slender and at 10 she wanted me to wear panti girdles, and take dexituim so I wouldn't be hungry. I was also a very skinny child, and as a joke she used to sing fatty fatty 4x4 couldn't get through the kitchen door. At one point last year *and I am fat now* I don't know how you can be happy with your body like that I wouldn't be* I am supposed I have no body issues now as an adult.

It really sucks that your Mom, a person who should have protected you, attacked you as a child. It really sucks that as an adult you're still allowing her to do so.
From things you have noted, it seems as if you are still living with this person. Just me but there is no excuse in the world that would convince me to reside in the same domicile as (Much less have contact with) someone who so overtly abused me. You're an adult now: you can choose what you do to deal with weight issues you have mentioned, you can choose where you live, etc. Abuse does not equal love!
Davan

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 3:09:20 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

I'm gonna say "yes," given that thin women can be characterized as "Barbi" or "Barbi-doll" over and over without so much as a thought to it's being a slur...

Amen.
Davan

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 4:43:52 PM

YourhandMyAss

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I just brushed it off, yeah it was rude, and none of her business, but I can ignore it. She's not always rude.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

FullfigRIMAAM1 I wasn't dis missing it just saying it's not always applicable. My mom was obsessed with me being slender, looking slender, being perceived as slender and at 10 she wanted me to wear panti girdles, and take dexituim so I wouldn't be hungry. I was also a very skinny child, and as a joke she used to sing fatty fatty 4x4 couldn't get through the kitchen door. At one point last year *and I am fat now* I don't know how you can be happy with your body like that I wouldn't be* I am supposed I have no body issues now as an adult.

It really sucks that your Mom, a person who should have protected you, attacked you as a child. It really sucks that as an adult you're still allowing her to do so.
From things you have noted, it seems as if you are still living with this person. Just me but there is no excuse in the world that would convince me to reside in the same domicile as (Much less have contact with) someone who so overtly abused me. You're an adult now: you can choose what you do to deal with weight issues you have mentioned, you can choose where you live, etc. Abuse does not equal love!
Davan

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/24/2009 4:54:09 PM

DavanKael

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Hi, YHMA----
You're kinda seriously missing my points.

Davan

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 5/26/2009 12:22:08 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlyParrotGirl
And I did not attack you personally.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlyCreative
your bigotry

Really? You didn't try and label me a bigot for pointing out the fact that a study exists?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CuddlyParrotGirl
I cannot simply post links. If you are genuinely interested in a thorough debunking of conventional thought on the health risks of "excess" weight, read The Obesity Myth by Paul Campos.

I can't help but notice that's written by a law professor with no medical background and the Publishers Weekly review on Amazon said a couple of things which cause me to be skeptical of the book:
"Through a series of anecdotes, readers are told..."
"...some of his conclusions border on the absurd (e.g., he blames "Fat Politics" for the impeachment of President Clinton)." http://www.amazon.com/Obesity-Myth-Americas-Obsession-Hazardous/dp/1592400663

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 6/15/2009 10:12:27 PM

SueACydell

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GotSteel: All books are bound to have some negative reviews. Find me a book that doesn't! Particularly a book that dares to take on a controversial topic. You seem to simply be looking for excuses not to bother reading it, because you've already decided what you want to think. If you spent the time you took to look for reasons not to read it actually READING it, you might actually come away with something... IF your mind were open enough, which I'm suspecting it's not.

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 6/16/2009 12:19:56 AM

WyldHrt

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You've got to be kidding me. We finally put this 22 page trainwreck out of its misery 3 weeks ago, and you had to go and resurrect it for that???
Holy crap!

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 6/16/2009 12:30:11 AM

ZenDragoness

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After resurrecting it, i am afraid some very old magic ritual must be performed
to kill that thread.

Unluckily i have my "Kill long thread" spell lost, maybe somebody else can help out?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 6/16/2009 12:55:47 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

You've got to be kidding me. We finally put this 22 page trainwreck out of its misery 3 weeks ago, and you had to go and resurrect it for that???
Holy crap!

Can I just love you from a distance?

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RE: Are BDSMers better at size acceptance? - 6/16/2009 8:02:48 AM

ShaharThorne

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

After resurrecting it, i am afraid some very old magic ritual must be performed
to kill that thread.

Unluckily i have my "Kill long thread" spell lost, maybe somebody else can help out?

Trying my best with the ritual, but I need some hair from everyone who has posted on here, including the naysayers.

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