How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ?

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How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 12:46:21 PM

Posts: 148
Joined: 12/13/2008
From: Barranquilla city, Colombia
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I must admit, with some shame, that I have a bigotry, a prejudice which I have recently come to regret....

Perhaps it's not that I submit, or that I am submissive (the two words don't mean the same, you can submit without being a true submissive and vice-versa) or that I simply come froma culture where my people holds woman in a higher level than men. It's just that the idea of a woman kneeling, tied, beaten, abused, humiliated and controlled by some guy stirs in me the same feelings than if I had a rubber bullet or tazer gun and saw a guy try to rape a girl, or beat her down, an irrefrenable, unflinching sense that this is so wrong, that i need to stop it with vicious, 3 miles past the level of extreme prejudice to punish him for attacking a woman.

I don't have it easy because most Maledom-femaleSub scenes are like that to me, while I am not bothered much by Female Submission, nto to the point of attacking the dominant to stop her, but I 90% of the times, in 90% of the activities, past the initial warm-up or beginner's level of intensity or force, I have to turn my eyes away like if I saw a car going to hit my friend and I couldn't help her nor warn her, I just can't take much of it, I must admit can't take any of it almost...

Recently, that cost me a friendship as I misjudged whatwas happening, as an imbecile tourist and his wife are in a Male-Dom Female Sub couple relationship and brought along a slave girl who's a heavy Maso and has fiorced sex fantasies. To not dwell on it, let's say I am lucky it ended a friendship and didn't end me in jail. I just discovered that i am uncapable of seeing women submit to men, I just don't know if anyone here has the same problem and if they had a way to tolerate it, as long as it is very light, and within the strictest defined limits of SSC.

¿ Is it something permanetly wrong in me or it can be fixed ?

_____________________________

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RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 12:55:56 PM

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From: Stockton, California
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I had a similar problem when I first came onto the scene. It then helped that I happened to spend a lot of time around people who played A LOT in all sorts of different roles. It got me used to the idea that people are happy with certain behaviors and sensations. They're not me, and they're not advocating I change in any way, so I don't advocate they change in any way. After some time, I had no problem serving right alongside a female submissive who was the submissive to my mistress's husband. A year or so before that, I'm not sure I would have been okay with that. But didn't even think a second thought about it at the time because it just seemed so natural. What I saw was that she was getting everything she desired in her relationship with him, and as a submissive who likes it when women are happy, THAT alone made me happy, and I didn't have to do a single thing to achieve that state of bliss.

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RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 1:30:27 PM

omkfY

Posts: 104
Joined: 7/7/2009
From: State of Jefferson
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It is a perfectly normal reaction. Society as a whole ingrains in men that women are weak and need to be protected from abuse at the hands of bad men. Good men should always be on the lookout for the "damsel in distress..."

I try not to be judgmental, but I think the better approach would be to protect anyone from abuse (as men can just as easily be the victims in abusive relationships).

The problem here is that your initial judgment has determined that the woman in question is being abused and needs to be protected (despite her consent & desires). In all likelihood, denying the validity of her masochism would be far worse, and even be the true exploitation...

< Message edited by omkfY -- 7/18/2009 1:34:11 PM >

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 1:40:45 PM

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Since when do South American women hold higher power in society and family than their men do?
Except maybe in Cali, which is renowned for the beauty of their women.

Certainly not in Ecuador where Lorena Bobbitt is practically a patron saint to previously downtrodden women who for the first time can gain some power by reminding him he has to sleep sometimes and she has the sharp knives at her disposal.

I'm submissive, but I am not beaten, abused or humiliated.

And if these people get off on doing this in public, in front of people who haven't consented to see it, they deserve to go to jail - not you.

People who find rough sex to whatever degree exciting should do it at home, not in the grocery store. If I see some guy backhand his kid or wife in the store I'm not going to believe they're in a d/s relationship and as HOH he can do whatever he wants. I will call the cops.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to omkfY)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 1:52:17 PM

Level

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To the OP: learn to tell the difference between consenual submission, and abuse.

Abuse is bad. As others have said, abusers need to go to jail, or at least have their ass kicked.

Consenual submission, if it bothers you, well, then you need to look the other way. Don't mean to be rude, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to anyone, except you, if you can't handle that. Ways around those feelings? Maybe befriend someone in a D/s relationship, and by being in proximity to them, over time, will help you cope with your feelings.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 2:38:04 PM

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Another thought: go to classes, workshops and demos to desensitize yourself.

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RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 2:44:28 PM

Level

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OR, go to classes, workshops and demos to desensitize yourself.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to angelikaJ)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 2:53:57 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

I just discovered that i am uncapable of seeing women submit to men, I just don't know if anyone here has the same problem and if they had a way to tolerate it, as long as it is very light, and within the strictest defined limits of SSC.

¿ Is it something permanetly wrong in me or it can be fixed ?

You're not alone. I have difficulty with female submission, but from the "hey.. I know it's play but you are setting the whole fem program back a generation".

Guys.. just know you are dominating them because they LET you dominate them, just like the men let the Women dominate THEM.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Dastan)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 3:14:12 PM

ishyB

Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline

I have the opposite problem.

I really cannot watch men submit or stand to be around submissive males.

It just feels totally wrong to me and it makes me feel very insecure as to how to behave.
I tend to look to men for guidance and leadership and thus a submissive man just trows me off.

I tend to try to avoid them because of this, maybe that's just what you best do with dominant men and submissive women.

I wish you well,

ishy

_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to Dastan)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 3:25:15 PM

onlyfreelycaged

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

I just discovered that i am uncapable of seeing women submit to men, I just don't know if anyone here has the same problem and if they had a way to tolerate it, as long as it is very light, and within the strictest defined limits of SSC.

¿ Is it something permanetly wrong in me or it can be fixed ?

You're not alone. I have difficulty with female submission, but from the "hey.. I know it's play but you are setting the whole fem program back a generation".

Guys.. just know you are dominating them because they LET you dominate them, just like the men let the Women dominate THEM.

I don't understand how doing what I want to do sets the fem. movement back.

(in reply to LotusSong)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 3:44:21 PM

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ishyB

I have the opposite problem.

I really cannot watch men submit or stand to be around submissive males.

It just feels totally wrong to me and it makes me feel very insecure as to how to behave.
I tend to look to men for guidance and leadership and thus a submissive man just trows me off.

I tend to try to avoid them because of this, maybe that's just what you best do with dominant men and submissive women.

I wish you well,

ishy

Treat them like your favorite younger brother? :) I've done that, at times with moderate success.

Seriously, I like male submissives who are like me. Not superficial. I enjoy talking to them about things I'm impassioned about because they get it, they feel similar if not the same things, toward toward the woman or man in their lives. And I never felt nervous around them, as I sometimes used to among the competitive female submissives who were drawn to my master. There's no subtext going on, no drama being played out. They make good asexual buddies.

(in reply to ishyB)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 3:52:02 PM

ishyB

Posts: 555
Joined: 9/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Treat them like your favorite younger brother? :) I've done that, at times with moderate success.

Seriously, I like male submissives who are like me. Not superficial. I enjoy talking to them about things I'm impassioned about because they get it, they feel similar if not the same things, toward toward the woman or man in their lives. And I never felt nervous around them, as I sometimes used to among the competitive female submissives who were drawn to my master. There's no subtext going on, no drama being played out. They make good asexual buddies.

Thanks for the advice, but your whole post is about the exact reason I do have trouble being around them.

I could understand a man just being a wanker and wanting sex and thus pretending to be submissive to get pussy. I wouldn't respect him too much, but hey with the way our society is screwed up nowadays, at least I could understand it.

But a man really truly wanting the same thing that I do -to submit- that wanted to be my buddy instead of taking a dominant/leading role towards me, that just freaks me out and I don't know how to relate to them.

I don't do the whole 'friendship with men' thing. I submit to men... or avoid them...

I wish you well,

ishy

_____________________________

I want you to know that it doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
and I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I wanted to move on
So I'm already gone

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoJFn_RIdkg

(in reply to CaringandReal)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 4:42:42 PM

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Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

Me too! I just have to look the other way and not think about it. I do not like to see a woman hurt in any way. Even if she asked for it. Sometimes when I am pulling Ms. Mlicious in her rickshaw, someone will ask if we ever switch. I am appalled at the suggestion. How would it look for a woman half my size to be laboring to pull my fat ass around in a rickshaw? I would be ashamed of myself.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Dastan)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 4:46:43 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyfreelycaged

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dastan

I just discovered that i am uncapable of seeing women submit to men, I just don't know if anyone here has the same problem and if they had a way to tolerate it, as long as it is very light, and within the strictest defined limits of SSC.

¿ Is it something permanetly wrong in me or it can be fixed ?

You're not alone. I have difficulty with female submission, but from the "hey.. I know it's play but you are setting the whole fem program back a generation".

Guys.. just know you are dominating them because they LET you dominate them, just like the men let the Women dominate THEM.

I don't understand how doing what I want to do sets the fem. movement back.

It absolutely does NOT set "the fem. movement back" in any way whatsoever. Anyone with a brain knows the fem. movement was about CHOICE. And so, any woman submitting to a man has made that CHOICE. Neat how that works, huh?

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 5:00:23 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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Egads, brace yourself folks...MasterSlaveLA and I agree!!!! Female submission is not a detriment to the women's liberation movement, it is like a saty-at-home mom a justification of it.

Now that you have all caught your breath let me give you some advice. If you see something that you think is abusive, then by all means intervene, but intervene verbally, first ("Hey, stop that!!") before you dive in fists swinging. Once you have verbally interjected then you can better judge the situation based on the reaction you get.

Push comes to shove, I would say it is better to err on the side of caution.

_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 5:15:42 PM

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From: Apple County NY
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Yeah but Arpig you wouldn't have been snotty by saying anyone who had emotional difficulties with this was without a brain. Because you're a good guy. Just saying.

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RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 5:54:45 PM

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Put on the big girl panties and realize it's different strokes for different folks, bring your nose out of the air and learn some tolerance.

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(in reply to Dastan)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 8:18:36 PM

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

It absolutely does NOT set "the fem. movement back" in any way whatsoever. Anyone with a brain knows the fem. movement was about CHOICE. And so, any woman submitting to a man has made that CHOICE. Neat how that works, huh?

Disclaimer for the more senstive amoung us: This is an opinion. I'm not against female submission..I just analyze it more than I should. I've always been one to think how one's actions affects a group as a whole.

Those men that see a woman on her knees and think "Ah-HA! I KNEW they were all needy, cock-craving sluts inside!"
Those that thinking being called a bitch, cunt or slut a cutsey endearment don't realize that there are those men that can't keep it in the context of play and actually believed we all find it acceptable.

What is it you really want? Acceptance, love, respect, a sense of belonging? And you are willing to do anything to get it? If so, that is your weakness. And a chain is only as strong as it's weakest link.

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 10:58:53 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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quote:

Because you're a good guy.

Shhhhhhhhhhh
I have a reputation to uphold.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? - 7/18/2009 11:12:15 PM

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Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

It is good to have a reaction to what you see as violence that makes you want to stand in the way of it. I dominate women but I find some aspects of female submission distasteful, and don't like to see them or do them - because - well, they hit too close to home I suppose. That doesn't change that I believe people have the right to seek pleasure in whatever manner they wish so long as everyone involved is consenting. I have never regretted interrupting a scene that seemed "too extreme" in my eyes - there are ways to do it politely and unobtrusively, but I have also learned to observe and hold my tongue when it was simply a scene I don't care for. (I can't recall the last scene I felt a need to interrupt - perhaps a decade ago, so its not like I am a buttinsky as far as that goes.) The more you get out an dplay, and observe, the less sensitive you will be to it.

(in reply to Arpig)

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