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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 1:37:31 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		i am hoping writing it here will make accepting it easier.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 2:06:17 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		holly *hugs* you have mail

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Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 2:09:58 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I remember feeling like that Holly. Deep inside you know pretty much what they are going to say to some degree... but hearing it and knowing it as a fact is a shocker anyway. Time and talking do their job in helping us I think. And a good cry doesn't hurt!

Doesn't help if you are tired, going through anything else at the time and being overwhelmed! I hope you can find some special Mom time out!

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Profile   Post #: 203
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 2:23:31 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Forget about the labels and treat the symptoms. And remember he is your child and bright as the sun. He will teach people many things. Research, also get an IEP(individula education plan) with your school district. In my district my son was in diagnostic preschool and kindergarten. My son was diagnosed through the school district so I am glad its not labeled as such in his medical records. But you can start recieving those services through your school district and they can get him what he needs. Whether it be an asistant in school, speech therapy, social worker, ocupational therapy, etc.

oppositional Defiance...he'll grow out of it eventually. But you got to be tougher than him and give him tools to deal with his frustration and anger/ Dont forget to take a break yourself and get some free time.

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 2:34:20 PM   
calamitysandra


Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		You now have a diagnosis, something to work and go forward with. The path will get difficult at times, but now there is a path.

All the best to you and your family.



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Profile   Post #: 205
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 2:41:03 PM   
badlilthang


Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline 		Sir's holly (and all other brave parents)..getting a diagnose was for me the day i said "hell...yeah....i was not a nutty mom - i was not hysterical or silly - i was right"...

Second step was a bit harder - because what i got was a paper with the diagnose - a handshake - a perscription for Ritalin and a good luck!

I have no idea how many books i have read - Autism - Aspbergers - DHD/ADD etc...my son sort of fits into it all one way or another..i firmly belive he is a new "syndrome" all on his own - the T-syndrome! *L*...we have had hard days, good days, painful days....BUT...having the diagnose has also opened a lot of doors. For more help at school - therapy - and so on.

It is hard to read the papers i get every year from school - when the board had their yearly meeting....what his weaknesses are - his good sides, and also what his future may hold.

It is like it is not my child i am reading about - because to me - he is a fun, smart, loving and at times...a totally obnoxius teenager...

Still...if i had the choice to do it all again - i would - without hesitating..s..he is my pride and joy!

Lots of hugs, holly...hang in there...smiles - your child was born by the perfect mom - you!You are shocked now - sad and scared, which is natural - everyone wants the very best for their kid - and us with kids that needs a little more attention and a lot more structure - we have tough battles behind us and ahead as well...keep your faith, and believe that you got this child - because you have what it takes...s...


< Message edited by badlilthang -- 8/5/2009 2:43:41 PM >

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 3:00:11 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		*veryhugeandtighthugs* to holly and her Sir...and all other special mums and dads

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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 5:37:53 PM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		*plops down next to holly and nudges her arm*

Yo!

*catches holly before she tumbles over*

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Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 6:33:42 PM   
KneelforAnne


Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

We received the diagnosis for our son this morning. He has Autism and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Damn. Just..damn



Love-N-Hugs

It will work out because it has to.  What other options are there?

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Profile   Post #: 209
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 6:46:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		HUGS to Holly!  CAN they diagnose oppositional disorder in a two year old? 

The LO has the best mom possible!

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RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 7:18:06 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Damn. Just..damn



No, that would be reserved for the moment you hear a giggle at the foot of the bed in
the wee morning hours, squinting down through sleepy eyes to find my little cherub
face gleaming back as I pronounce, "Momma Holly, I think the blenders broke."

Luscious is right on the mark. If the educational system is lacking, dive head first into
your local and state government agencies. Is there a waiver program available to tap
into medicaid for all and any therapies and or medical needs? You see, we pay taxes
for more than building bombs, "we the people" that is. If there is a program, it may have
a waiting list, get on it NOW. Take your son's hand firmly in yours and march right
past all the obstacles your "helpful" agencies and entities will throw into your path.

It shall be the most challenging, yet rewarding journey ahead. You will question God if
you are a believer, at an unexpected moment, you will call on his name, if you are not.

You are already keenly aware that you are supported and loved.
"There's no place like home, there's no place like home."

chia* (the pet)


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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 211
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/5/2009 10:20:05 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*hugs Holly*

mail, darlin....


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Profile   Post #: 212
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 12:59:14 AM   
ShellyD


Posts: 207
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

i am hoping writing it here will make accepting it easier.


I am dealing with both my youngest granddaughters being diagnosed with Aspergers, the oldest is an introvert, the youngest an extrovert so they have the same condiditon and different manifestations. I suggest finding an online support group with other parent dealing with the same issues as you. It is really helpful to hear how others deal with the issues you have to deal with, hints, suggestions and the like. Just love him more is the way I began to work through things, I found the extra love and cuddles eased many sadnesses. You will be alright and so will he. hugs.....

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 213
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 1:12:28 AM   
calamitysandra


Posts: 1682
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline 		And do get a second, or even a third opinion. Not only on diagnosis, but also on treatment.

You will make it.

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Profile   Post #: 214
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 1:52:24 AM   
MistressAnnoura


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline 		If you wish to chat I have 2 special needs childern , I wont say it is easy but it is so worth it You are in my thoughts and I am willing to help in any way that I can .... Just ask

Mistress Annoura

(in reply to calamitysandra)
Profile   Post #: 215
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 2:02:02 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

We received the diagnosis for our son this morning. He has Autism and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Damn. Just..damn



Holly - I've been in the place where you are. Different diagnosis but still, it can knock the planets out of orbit for a bit. That is a lot to get your brain around.

When I got the news, there was just me and the 3 yr old um. That was many years ago and resources were not what I would call fully developed. You are surrounded by friends with experience and tools/resources with which to help him. That doesn't lessen the impact of the news but I can tell you it is far better than being alone and having no idea how to cope.

He will be okay - because he has the two of you to advocate for him. You, on the other hand, must learn how to not feel guilty about making restorative time for you. It's called respite care - it benefits you *and* the LO.

Big squishy comforting hugs for all of you. Drop me a line on the other side if you need anything.



< Message edited by MsFlutter -- 8/6/2009 2:06:42 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 216
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 4:39:17 AM   
seababy


Posts: 845
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KneelforAnne

I have many students that are diagnosed ADHD…some are on medication, some are not. The one thing that I have noticed with UMs that are NOT on meds is that their diet SEEMS to effect them the most. I had one student in particular -- he had my class after lunch and I could tell EVERYTIME that he had refined sugar. His parents tried the natural approach by changing his diet, but he would sneak candy and sugars from other kids and I could tell every time.
I was watching something recently that said that dyes in food can make boys more hyperactive. I don’t know how true that is…?
Also, I was a nanny at one point in college…and the UM was a boy about 7... He had some sort of reaction to milk and dairy…every SINGLE time his parents would give him ice cream the child would have a melt down.



http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/index.htm#buttons

I know this wont be a cure all, but I think this is a wonderful site.
Has some great stories too from parents.
When your dealing with a child who has special medical needs you dont need things complicated further by reactions to additives.
(I think there is a lot of compelling evidence for mood swings linked to additives.)

Kind regards

Sea

(sorry about the heavy editing Anne)



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Profile   Post #: 217
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 6:23:57 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Look at all the Love! We're here for ya Holly!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to seababy)
Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 7:07:56 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Look at all the Love! We're here for ya Holly!


Yes we are!  I don't have a "Special Needs" child unless you call spoiled brats special needs. 

I'd still like to offer an ear/or shoulder because CM'ers stick together thru THICK and THIN no matter what the circumstances!

{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}



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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Parents of special needs kids - 8/6/2009 9:58:18 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I am leaping in again with the SECOND AND THIRD OPINION.  There is this mad rush to slap a label on EVERY damn thing these days, and who's to say that the first choice is the most appropriate?  I am just glad that he has you for a mom!  (and that other guy, whatshisname?  for a dad) 

HUGSES!!

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Profile   Post #: 220
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