CallaFirestormBW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SlyStone
Leonidas can a TPE exist only for a day, and end and begin again? Is time at all an element in the relationship?
I ask this because this seems to be where we are having a disconnect. If The TPE has no element of time, and exists in a kind of vacuum, then what you are saying makes sense. But if the expectation of a TPE is that the slave is owned until the owner ends it, then we are still left with the problem of how it can be a TPE if the slave can make the conscious decision to leave, and have the power to do so if she or he so chooses, and then beg to come back.
To me it is like when you plug a lamp into a socket the light goes on and if you move it around the light will flicker and if you take it out the light will die. If you cannot keep the lamp plugged in there is no power, and if you cannot keep a slave from leaving I fail to see how it is a TPE, unless it is being defined as no more permanent then any other D/s dynamic, in which case I still fail to see what exactly differentiates it from any other D/s dynamic, nor do I understand why that possility makes people so defensive.
I know that I'm not Leonidas, but I may be able to shed a little light on this from another perspective. See, we have had several servants, over the years, who have entered into our equivalent of a TPE relationship with the household. On at least one occasion, each of them has had to step down from that TPE relationship, and has returned to it later on. The thing is that TPE, despite the acronym, at least in our household really isn't about "power" -- it is about -authority-. Either we have comprehensive authority over virtually every conceivable aspect of a servant's existence or we don't. When we -have- that authority, we are in a comprehensive authority dynamic (our version of TPE). When we don't, then we are in our "non-TPE" authority dynamic.
If we had a servant in a TPE-style relationship with us, and that servant up and left, at the moment that xhe reclaimed hir authority over hir own life, we would no longer have that TPE-style relationship. If xhe came -back-, and yielded up that authority again, then it would, once again, be established as a TPE-style relationship. I would hesitate to say it could only last a day -- but conceivably, it's possible. Perhaps, after a day, a servant was so overwhelmed by the whole deal that, at the end of the day, xhe took back the authority xhe'd yielded up. At that point, the relationship would no longer be TPE-ish... if xhe slept on it, came back the next morning, or two or three days later, and yielded hirself again, then once again, the relationship would be restored to its TPE-style format. I don't think I could handle the yo-yo of someone who couldn't decide, if they kept bouncing back and forth between the two, though. After two or three rounds of this, I would either have to put it out that xhe had to choose one way or the other and -stay- there for a committed trial period (I usually say 4-6 weeks, unless an emergent situation develops), or =I= would choose the non-TPE relationship for both of us, since xhe wasn't able to consistently commit and it was driving me batty, but that's just me.
I see TPE-style situations as a mutual situation. In order to have authority over something, one must either -yank- that authority away, or have it yielded up by the individual who currently holds it. Yanking it away isn't reasonable when discussing an essentially -consensual- relationship, so proposing that there is some binding that forces a submissive individual in a TPE-style relationship to stay there once xhe's no longer vested in that relationship, just because the dominant individual in the relationship hasn't said "ok, you can go" seems... well... poorly thought out, if nothing else. Attempting to force the situation may -seem- 'powerful', but in reality, it isn't particularly functional (at least in my experience) over time. Therefore, it makes sense that TPE really sort of exists without a particular time constraint, and that its mechanism is one of who holds the authority, by mutual accord, and its limiting factor starts and ends when that comprehensive authority is given up or taken back. Now -- you'll always find those who insist that, even though they clearly do not hold the authority in a given situation, they are still in a "TPE relationship" because -they- said so and they insist that that means that it is until they all -die-, regardless of what any submissive person in their sphere thinks (or even, in at least on situation I've encountered, regardless of whether their submissive person has already walked out the door)... but really, how many of us couldn't see right through that scenario to its essential nature?
Dame Calla
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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RE: Master/slave questions - 
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