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RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/17/2009 10:07:40 AM

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lookie i got out of the handcuffs!!

i know you're on the clock but.. you wanna blowjob?

here's your wallet.. you left it at my house again....

Are you taking me home or do you wanna fuck me first ?

_____________________________

Wicked Wicked

dirty girl

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/24/2009 11:47:17 AM

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Stay right there by your car officer. I need you to mark where my hocker lands as I attempt to break the world record for hocker spitting.

(in reply to HotFaerieMama)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/28/2009 1:11:49 PM

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Look officer, I know this looks bad, but this lady said she needed a new pair of pants, and rather than give her the money that she may spend on drugs, I brought her behind this building to give them to her so as not to embarass her. Honest!!!

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/28/2009 1:55:08 PM

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You're sexy! You're cute! Now take off that riot suit!

<<has a friend who will find this utterly hilarious for reasons all our own

lovingpet

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/28/2009 2:18:05 PM

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Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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You look different with clothes on.

* huge smile *

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 9/28/2009 11:26:41 PM

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Weren't you the stripper at my Bachelor party?

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 9:17:41 AM

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Joined: 11/29/2007
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Escaped Convict? Oohhh no, not me. Some guy just came by here a little while ago, and offered me a 100% authentic zebra skin 2 piece suit for free. How could I say no to that?

(in reply to DaFox88)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 9:30:34 AM

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From: Central Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaFox88

Weren't you the stripper at my Bachelor party?

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(in reply to DaFox88)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 9:56:28 AM

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I'm sorry officer, I was practicing my carrier landings and missed the wire. I was just taking off again for another go-around.

(This is best if you have a tail-hook for a trailer hitch.)

(in reply to pahunkboy)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 12:54:51 PM

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Joined: 9/30/2007
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True story.....

One of my father's employees got pulled over while driving drunk.

Officer: "Do you know how fast you were going boy?"

Drunk: "If you see a boy in this car, I want you to climb in here and kick his ass."

When we asked what happened next, all he said was "Those night sticks hurt."

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 1:19:45 PM

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From: Savannah, GA
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loved those last two LMAO!!

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Muttling)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 2:23:01 PM

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Another good and true story....

My brother is a cop.

He pulled one over for speeding on a windy day and handed the guy the clip board to sign.

The guy signed and handed it back to him with a $100 bill on it.

Brother: "Is this yours sir?"

Speeder: "Nope, it's not mine. Must be yours."

Brother: "It's not mine." He then opens the clip on the board and lets the bill blow away. Hands the guy his copy of the ticket and tells him to have a nice day.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/3/2009 2:57:43 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Joined: 6/7/2009
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On speeders there was this couple an they were in an alley trying to drag a mattress they found on the ground home so they could fuck on it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuckoldmepls

Look officer, I know this looks bad, but this lady said she needed a new pair of pants, and rather than give her the money that she may spend on drugs, I brought her behind this building to give them to her so as not to embarass her. Honest!!!

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/7/2009 1:16:03 PM

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Joined: 1/17/2007
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Motorist traveling through Georgia at a high rate of speed....

Cop: Boy, nobody travels through Georgia THAT fast.

Motorist: Sherman did!

Spent the night in the local slammer....

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/7/2009 2:01:41 PM

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Speaking if GA troopers, a friend SWEARS a GA trooper said this to him. he got stopped for speeding on I95 and the trooper said "Lemme see your license boy" when he handed it to the officer , the officer looked at it and said "Boy..... you're either driving too fast of flying too low and this don't look like no Pilot's License"

(in reply to samboct)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/8/2009 8:30:17 PM

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to quote a tshirt that my dad... a cop... wears under his tac gear....

"I thought you wanted to race!"

"I was speeding to bring you donuts!"

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/14/2009 12:15:04 PM

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Joined: 11/29/2007
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Look, I'm sorry about your fancy whirlybird, but we've had way too many revenuers snooping around here over the past 50 years. My boy ain't too brite to begin with and the cracked glasses off of dead revenuers don't help much when he's hunting squirrels and birds. I tried to tell him a 100 times that they aren't big birds, but I guess I used a 2 x 4 on his head one too many times when i was trying to pound some sense into him.

If you we're looking for pot, all you had to do was ask. That's our money crop around here. Always looking to make a sale especially to someone who can afford a whirlybird. I know what you're thinking. How did I raise a kid like that?

(in reply to Mistressntgirl)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/14/2009 12:20:59 PM

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But I am sooo on my way to happy when driving 215 in a 25! I do have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness you know. Another 50 miles over your speed limit and I would have been happy too. Damn you and your oppressive regime!

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 10/22/2009 7:59:17 PM

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Joined: 11/29/2007
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Chief Wiggins called. He said he was gonna have to let you go, cus too many people mistook you for the Chief. I'll bet you wish now you had followed the Chief's personal physical fitness plan of actually getting out of the car to write a ticket.

(in reply to lovingpet)

RE: NEVER say this to a cop - 11/1/2009 6:34:49 AM

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Joined: 11/29/2007
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Location: Elementary School Cafeteria "Just say no to drugs" speech by local police. They open for questions.

Little Johnny: The other day I overheard my mom telling her dealer that the pigs would never find her stash there? When I asked her what a stash was, she told me to stf up.

I was wondering if you could come over sometime when she wasn't home and help me find it?

(in reply to cuckoldmepls)

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