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lilboycaught -> Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/17/2009 6:49:02 AM)
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Try two searches:
ONE: Male Dominants--> Seeking Sub Women--> Keyword: “Tribute.” Make the search for all countries, all states. Do this on the basis of when they joined and as a text list.
You’ll note that by the fourth page, you have seen all the profiles that have that keyword in them. And in most of them, it just happens to be incidental. It isn’t referring money.
TWO: Female Dominants--> Seeking Sub Men-->Keyword: “Tribute.” Make the search for all countries, all states. Do this on the basis of when they joined and as a text list.
You have to go four pages back just to cover the profiles of women who have joined since JULY OF THIS YEAR!! And most of them do mean money.
That’s my point. As a submissive male, I had great hopes in the mid-to-late 1990s. It used to be, before the internet, that BDSM personals rarely had any ads from women who wanted to do it as a lifestyle. But with the introduction of the internet it became obvious that the BDSM lifestyle was WAY more popular than anyone had ever imagined. Personal ads from lifestyle dommes seeking a mate were no longer so uncommon.
And I thought the female domination lifestyle was, at last, really starting to come out of the closet. I had long suspected that there were secretly way more dominant females out there than there seemed to be, and that the lifestyle was similar to being gay in the 1950s. People kept it hidden and, in many cases, repressed. But if it could just come out of the closet and gain some acceptance, like homosexuality, more and more people would be out about it. Boys and girls and men and women of this persuasion would go out on dates, fall in love, get married, etc. There would be femdom bars, femdom activist groups...Female led relationships would not be uncommon
But it hit a plateau and, in some respects, regressed. Why? Well, maybe I was wrong about it being its own, independent sexuality. Maybe I was wrong in my suspicion that many women were secretly dominant. Most of the dominant men looking for submissive women at CM want a relationship. A REAL D/s relationship. Very few want money. Conversely, a good percentage of the female dominants, probably a majority, want money. There are pro dommes, money dommes and scam dommes all over the place. And many of the ones who say they’re lifestyle want a tribute.
I think that’s a clear indication that if any trend ever existed to establish female domination lifestyles as mainstream, it has utterly failed. Very few women are actually interested in a real female-led lifestyle, and the minority who aren’t asking for money are often plain women who use it to get attention from men. How truly “dominant” they are is questionable. Same with all these young girls posting to see how much attention they get as a “dominant” female. They aren’t really serious. And of course, many who are lifestyle are either lesbians or not looking for a real man.
If this, what we have now, is what it’s supposed to be, then it’s obvious that female domination is vastly inferior to male domination. Men seek a person and a relationship. Women mostly just want money.
I’m not saying there aren’t women who are on the right track. I know they are because I've talked to them. There are certainly profiles here of women who are 110 percent truly lifestyle. Some even say in their profiles that they’ll be offended by any offer of money or tribute. So they exist. No doubt about it. But c’mon, they’re WAY outnumbered by the others.
And I’m not saying it isn’t better these days. It’s WAY better than it was in the 1970s and 1980s. But it seems to have reached a dead end. And if CM is any reflection of the future of female dominated relationships, it seems to be a dud.
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