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Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 5:16:17 PM

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I posted this question on an already established thread, but i think it was a little off the original topic purpose, so I'm making a new thread, sorry if its been done before, but would be interested in everyones responses:

How much control could a Dominant have if they dont hold the financial decisions? I'm not meaning that the Dominant has to make more money than the submissive/slave but to really be in control of the relationship, wouldnt they have to have control of the money? It would seem a natural course to follow for me as so many life decisions are centered around finances.

I guess too, like the slave/submissive could be given the *job* to look after the money, paying bills etc, but the actual decisions about how, what and where the money is spent on? Like the final decision, after all is said and done...who has that control..or should have it for you..and why?

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 5:23:45 PM

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For me... the financial decisions had to be given to my Dragon. I needed him to be in charge of it. This was something that I was looking for and that I needed.

1st Girl Phoenix

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 5:32:31 PM

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I'm not really sure... I think it depends on the relationship as a whole...

Master and I are bring two ready made families together... ages 2 years to 13. Both of believe in the kids coming first and foremost. Mine are spoiled.. i don't buy them everything they want.. but I do my best on their needs...

So I don't think I could get along with a housing allowance. When I see something I want for the house.. kids... Master... needing permission to get something... is something i'm not use to. Guess it comes from too many years of being on my own. Some old dogs can be made to learn new tricks.. some just don't sink in.. and this is one I know won't with me.

I want bills paid... money saved... but also like things.. and get them when I can afford them. I don't want to ask Master for $$$ to buy him a present for his birthday or any other time.. I want to be able to get it when I run across it and not explain why. I might spot something I want him to have.. months before his birthday.. and will get it.. and put it up till such time. If I have to ask for the $$.. it ruins the surprise to tell him how much and for what.

As for kids... school... clothes.. for older ones... clothes.. toys..etc.. for the younger.. limits on me.. shouldn't be limits on kids.. because after they get what they NEED.. i like getting them things they WANT... as long as we can afford to do so... plus there's lay-a-way... LOL

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/23/2006 5:33:46 PM >

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 5:44:26 PM

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That is something I"m not sure I could give up. I have always in my entire adult life handled all money matters for my families. Though there are definitely times I wish someone else would handle it. I probably wouldn't like it if they did.

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 5:52:23 PM

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I control my own money, and Master has His own. We share bill payments and take turn about in paying for groceries etc. I actually have more money than He does, because of my divorce settlement. He wants nothing to do with it, as it's not His business He says and will go to my kids when I die.

He has to encourage me to spend money on myself, because I lived for years with a control freak when it came to money. He would complain when I even bought myself a CD even

So giving over control of my finances to someone else is a BIG hard limit for me.

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:11:53 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

but to really be in control of the relationship, wouldnt they have to have control of the money? It would seem a natural course to follow for me as so many life decisions are centered around finances.

You are absolutely correct. If I were to have a live-in slave, she would of course have all financial responsibility stripped from her. I want her focused on other things.

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:41:34 PM

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i was required to 'tithe' to 'my god' *major eye roll here*... when i was having a financial crisis, i was SOL ... i hope to never be in the position of having to decide whether to risk my financial future again or the future of any relationship.

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:44:51 PM

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what is "SOL" angelic?

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:46:06 PM

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shit outta luck, slavejali

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:46:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

what is "SOL" angelic?

shot outta luck..... lol

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:48:20 PM

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lol true... shot??? i'm laughing... i suppose being the angel that i am *tucks horns beneath halo again* i shouldn't have typed the word in it's entirety!

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:55:18 PM

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I'm a pragmatist- whatever financial situation works most beneficial to all involved, and whoever is the most skilled and proficient at working the situation should be the one doing it.

Sure, the dom retains all ultimate authority and has the final say so. But if the slave is a fniancial genius, or if financially it just makes sense to keep bank accounts and assets in separate places or in one particular person's name- who cares if it's the one in chains doing it? Stuff is getting done right and the master has more time and hopefully better managed finances.

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 6:55:57 PM

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I'm sorry that happened to you angelic, just as there are phsycial, emotional, mental abusers out there, I'm sure there would be some people who would just try to make extra cash from their submissive/slave not thinking about their welfare etc...but what if your Dom was a responsible person..who really cared about you..would that change your opinion? Like in an ultimate scenario etc...

and thanks for the meaning of SOL guys, i can be a bit dumb sometimes lol

(in reply to angelic)

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:01:57 PM

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slavejali, the answer to your question, for me... the best i can answer is possibly. Regardless of what i went thru i am still who i am in my heart and soul..i am just going be oh so much more careful in the future. However, even having said 'possibly' i would most certainly hope that He cared enough about me to make sure in case of any unforeseen emergencies i would have the ok to take care of it on my own without waiting for His approval. (This, of course, is all based on trust between the Ttwo of Uus).

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:05:27 PM

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We dont live together and he wants me to manage my own money. As he once said, "Be wise with your money. I don't want to have to manage that for you." i advise him of any major purchases, however.

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:07:21 PM

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Thats pretty much how I see it LA. The Master/Mistress has the final authority but if the submissive/slave is good at managing the money, its like a service they would provide to their Master or Mistress by handling it.

I can totally understand though if people have been financially abused in the past that they would be really wary of giving up that kind of control as some have mentioned.

I get a thrill when Master gives me money to go and buy something, even a loaf of bread, i feel like a puppy dog or something lol (hope that doesnt sound silly) but hey *grin*

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:09:01 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I get a thrill when Master gives me money to go and buy something, even a loaf of bread, i feel like a puppy dog or something lol (hope that doesnt sound silly) but hey *grin*

That is so sweet

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:11:44 PM

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I had Master read this thread... all he could do was laugh... (about my post)... and made me pormise not to put him the poor house... or ruin any credit he has established... (getting ready to lock up his credit cards and check book)....

I'm a bad bad bad girl......

Edited to add: angelic......... shit.. shot.. same thing.. outta luck!... lol (damn I need to trim my nails... and break out the spell checker.. lol)

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/23/2006 7:12:58 PM >

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:13:49 PM

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hehe tresub4u

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RE: Financial Decisions - 2/23/2006 7:21:29 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i was required to 'tithe' to 'my god' *major eye roll here*... when i was having a financial crisis, i was SOL ... i hope to never be in the position of having to decide whether to risk my financial future again or the future of any relationship.

I have no need of a slave tithing to me...under my wing she exists solely for my pleasure, and needn't work, anyway.

Still, financial domination has become quite popular. I can see the sadistic appeal in leaving someone with little more than what they need to exist—only so they can make it to the next week to give you more. This would just be deliciously cruel, but I would not treat a possession of mine that I cared about like this.

(in reply to angelic)

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