Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:29:13 AM   
threepointplay13


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/14/2009
Status: offline
I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:34:33 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
Most people will want to meet or at least talk to your wife to make sure that she is ok with you doing that with them. Lots of poly folks here, but few who are open to enabling cheaters (or at least are willing to admit it publicly). My playpartner is married, and her husband is vanilla. The two of them, my Master, and I went out for coffee to discuss things and get to know each other (she and I already had been hanging out socially for 3 months or so) before she and I played for the first time.

(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:38:01 AM   
threepointplay13


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/14/2009
Status: offline
Thanks for the advise but my mate would not be so open minded. Has to be discreet. Maybe there is no place for me here either!!

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:42:36 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
I did the whole discreet thingy. Tell your wife what you need to be happy. If she can't provide it then leave the marriage before you fuck around.



_____________________________



(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:44:30 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
i agree with Aileen. Your bride will find out, one way or another. It will be in her best interests if you are honest with her from the start.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:56:47 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
You make no mention in your blank profile of being married.  Why?

When a man mentions to me he wants a "discreet encounter" it screams married/cheater.  I don't play that game. 

Any ideas?  Sure, come clean to your partner and see if she's interested in taking part or in allowing you to take part with another. If neither of those are an option, maybe you need to look at what is stronger...your desire for a discreet encounter or your desire to stay with your mate.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 8:59:44 AM   
MistressEllen444


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline
That is what pros are for. Cough up the money or be honest with your wife. I doubt any lifestyle Domme will touch you.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:11:18 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
If you know these things BEFORE you get married, it is a good idea to let the other person know. That way they can decide if they want to try it or call the wedding off. Waiting until later can bring a whole host of problems. Of course if you didn't discover your kinky side until later then you may have a problem.

Communication is you friend, lying and sneaking around is not. Tell her your needs and she may agree to them, so lay it all out for her. If she does not agree then you will just have to deny those needs or decide this marriage is not fulfilling for you and move on.

Good luck,
~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:18:27 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline
Perhaps you'd have better luck on websites that are intended for cheating people looking to meet other cheaters, like AshleyMadison.com  You won't find that many who're friendly to the topic on here.
quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

Thanks for the advise but my mate would not be so open minded. Has to be discreet. Maybe there is no place for me here either!!

(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:37:06 AM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline
for pros in your state click on eros.com ..click on your state ..and away you go ..but they do cost so be prepared ..why get married if thats not what you want in the other person ? not fair to her you screwing around on her without her knowing about it ..mal ..and yes i do value marriage

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:49:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
I value marriage, too.  That's why there is no "discrete" about the dynamic that I have.  Of course, it wouldn't exist without his wife's knowledge.

A good number of people can find the situation that suits them without going the pro route.  It does mean some work, but it can happen.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:50:06 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
FR

Let your wife have the choice of being with somebody like you.... you have no right denying her the choice. 

(in reply to malloves69)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 9:55:53 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
So Im going to guess at your age, you've been married for more then 5 years to your wife.

It's going to be a real kick in the teeth for her to realize she wasted so much of her life on a cheating, selfish, "husband".

Because that's what your doing right now. Your being egotistical and selfish. You stopped caring about how your WIFE feels along time ago. Now your just here looking for some sympathetic soul to help you in your transgressions and to help you break your vows.

Nope, you better be prepared to pay for it. The Lifestyle Dommes around here would atleast probe you enough to figure out your a cheating husband, but a Pro might be tempted with enough cash, to not ask questions.


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:11:18 AM   
photohound


Posts: 9
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline
If your going to start out a new relationship lying to someone you care for and love, then why bother being with  the other person? I know these people are not going to tell you " yes go ahead and cheat" this lifestyle is about honesty and trust, if you can't do that in a vanilla relationship how can you even be in a lifestyle or even kink play that requires a even more deeper trust and honesty? Even if you are just looking to be tied up and spanked, you still have to be open and honest with the person doing it to you, for their safety and yours.I will have to agree, why marry someone if they are not a match for you and your interests, it is not fair and is rather deceitful.A good relationship contains honestly, trust, communications and loving someone WITHOUT conditions, if our new wife freaks out by what you tell her or you feel you may lose her because you are just being your self then maybe the relationship was not meant to be in the first place. Either tell her or do with out for the sake of maintaining a vanilla relationship,if you cheat, you WILL get caught sooner or later and think of the damage then.If you are happy in the relationship, no piece of ass is worth losing and hurting someone you love and care about.You may feel it is already too late, never too late, the damages and consequences will be worse as the relationship goes further, tell her now if she leaves, then you are free to find your kink play partner with out being a cheater. 

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:30:45 AM   
threepointplay13


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/14/2009
Status: offline
it wasn't like that originally. I developed this desire well into our relationship. I have talked and asked her, but she is very vanilla. Guess this was the wrong place to ask this question.

(in reply to photohound)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:42:33 AM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
Yeah there is no "right" site to ask this type of question, as the act itself is morally repugnant.

The BASE value and CORE belief in this community is CONSENT.

Your wife is not consenting if your going behind her back to do it.


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:43:08 AM   
lilivontramp


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/8/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??

Here's an idea. Talk to the woman you made your vows to about your desires, or end the marriage.

(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:44:58 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
Personally I have NO regard for any cheat regardless of if it is the male or female partner.

If you will lie to your primary partner you will lie to ANYONE... and so much of what We do relies on trust... Nobody can trust a liar, thus nobody can trust a cheat


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:48:03 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

it wasn't like that originally. I developed this desire well into our relationship. I have talked and asked her, but she is very vanilla. Guess this was the wrong place to ask this question.
Because this is a kink site it is often thought you will get support from the majority when it comes to fulfilling your desires and cheating on a spouse. You will not.

If your desires are of such strength that you feel you must seek elsewhere, man-up and tell your wife...giving her the option of staying in the marriage.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play - 9/15/2009 10:49:36 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: threepointplay13

I'm new here and am a married man. My bride just happens to be very vanilla. I crave discreet encounters with assertive knot tying woman. Try to find that in Upstate NY. Anybody out there have any ideas??


i really don't think you needed to come here and advertise this on the board. it doesn't take rocket science to stray. the moment you joined and setup a profile the die was cast. if this is a marketing ploy to give yourself greater exposure it may not work to your advantage. if it is as you've stated and you're hoping that i'm going to tell you how to knowingly deceive your spouse anymore than you already have, when i hope to marry someday. i want you to give consideration to the ridiculousness of what i just stated.

unless you're too self absorbed. too self involved. too focused on satisfying your own needs to take into account that there's actually another party involved. or you simply don't give a damn.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to threepointplay13)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself >> Married Men Seeking Assertive discreet play Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.092