Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 8:21:03 AM

Posts: 114
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again.

Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them.

He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act.

I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you?

_____________________________

~anne

This girl is a slave, but she is also a woman full of love, life, and who has a ton of interests.
Don't judge a book by it's name, judge it by it's content..

His since 10/06/2006
SLRN 166-164-858

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 9:05:55 AM

Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
Status: offline

it was my post that brought this question to mind i think. anyways to truly know you'd have to ask him why he enjoys seeing you cry

_____________________________

your living nightmare

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 9:22:53 AM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

a heaving, sobbing girl giving you head is really hawt..all that thick spit and whatnot, smeary mascara...

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to fadedshadow)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 9:29:43 AM

Posts: 87
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline

I don't necessarily. Crying is sign-post that tells me where we are at.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 9:30:27 AM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

I'm not a sadist so "no, I do not like causing my wife distress in any way."

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 9:44:01 AM

Posts: 114
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

Maybe my problem is that I am not a sadist nor a masochist, so I just don't get it. Like the other day we were having anal sex, he didn't know I had lubed up a ton when I went to bed so I would be ready. I will be honest, it didn't hurt even a bit and things went in rather easy so of course I didn't gasp or anything. Although he loved that I had done that and the way things ended up happening, he missed that I wasn't letting on like anything hurt. Now I am thinking I might have to fake hurt to make him hot..I hope that's not like faking an orgasm or something. He is also wanting to mark me..he loves marking me. The thing is I don't mark easily so it takes ton to get there. I am trying to figure out how to get my head in the space where I can handle something like that.

The thing is I am wanting to be a better masochist or pain slut, I am just not sure how to get there or if that's even possible.

ugh, I hope I am making sense.

_____________________________

~anne

This girl is a slave, but she is also a woman full of love, life, and who has a ton of interests.
Don't judge a book by it's name, judge it by it's content..

His since 10/06/2006
SLRN 166-164-858

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 10:12:34 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 10:25:34 AM

Posts: 114
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia

haha..true, he did tell me that much. I guess I am an analyzer, it can't be helped. I suppose I can't pinpoint why certain things turn me on either. I guess because it's something I don't feel myself, I am trying to understand it. I would never want to see someone I love cry, so maybe it's beyond me.

_____________________________

~anne

This girl is a slave, but she is also a woman full of love, life, and who has a ton of interests.
Don't judge a book by it's name, judge it by it's content..

His since 10/06/2006
SLRN 166-164-858

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 11:14:42 AM

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 12:28:01 PM

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

a heaving, sobbing girl giving you head is really hawt..all that thick spit and whatnot, smeary mascara...

Ron

what he said, plus or minus the mascara.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it.

and definitely this, but make the recipient male. as to why, cause you're pretty when you cry.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 12:40:31 PM

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

It's proof of devotion.

_____________________________

Saharah

S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 1:21:26 PM

Posts: 114
Joined: 9/28/2008
Status: offline

I suppose I just try to analyze things to much, I want to know why everything is the way it is, and why it's done the way it's done. Maybe I should just find the comfort in knowing I can give him that pleasure he can't get anywhere else. I will try to find a way to do that. Maybe in return I will start finding pleasure in it also and the pain won't seem so bad anymore.

_____________________________

~anne

This girl is a slave, but she is also a woman full of love, life, and who has a ton of interests.
Don't judge a book by it's name, judge it by it's content..

His since 10/06/2006
SLRN 166-164-858

(in reply to SaharahEve)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 1:57:08 PM

Posts: 97
Joined: 7/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

He told you, it turns him on. Why does anything turn us on? It's pretty common if that helps.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dacryphilia

Yep!

I am a sadists and I very much can have a natural reaction of it just turns me on. Now I can also feel sorry or wish I was not causing pain but that does take a seat to my natural arousal.

Another attraction to seeing my slave take pain for me is it is a phenomenal touching thing to see how much they care for me to take it. That certainly tugs at the heart strings and goes to part of the arousal.

_____________________________

"The ultimate authority must always rest with the individual's own reason and critical analysis." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

http://mistress-jen.blogspot.com/

(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/18/2009 3:06:20 PM

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash
I suppose I just try to analyze things to much, I want to know why everything is the way it is, and why it's done the way it's done. Maybe I should just find the comfort in knowing I can give him that pleasure he can't get anywhere else. I will try to find a way to do that. Maybe in return I will start finding pleasure in it also and the pain won't seem so bad anymore.

*chuckles* Dont' feel bad. I don't "get it" either. But I dont' think, really, there is anything TO get. In any relationship, vanilla or otherwise, one partner has a need and the other provides. So long as you can provide for his need without causing some sort of undue emotional or physical harm to yourself, then... well... so what?

While I don't deal with this directly since Carol & I aren't into SM, I do give Carol a wide variety of commands... some of which she's less than thrilled with. But again, it's worth pointing out that even in a vanilla relationship, nobody gets their way all the time. Some days you just take one for the team. So long as Carol is getting what she needs also, she's more than happy to give me mine.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 1:02:23 PM

Posts: 100
Joined: 8/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash

Maybe my problem is that I am not a sadist nor a masochist, so I just don't get it. Like the other day we were having anal sex, he didn't know I had lubed up a ton when I went to bed so I would be ready. I will be honest, it didn't hurt even a bit and things went in rather easy so of course I didn't gasp or anything. Although he loved that I had done that and the way things ended up happening, he missed that I wasn't letting on like anything hurt. Now I am thinking I might have to fake hurt to make him hot..I hope that's not like faking an orgasm or something. He is also wanting to mark me..he loves marking me. The thing is I don't mark easily so it takes ton to get there. I am trying to figure out how to get my head in the space where I can handle something like that.

The thing is I am wanting to be a better masochist or pain slut, I am just not sure how to get there or if that's even possible.

ugh, I hope I am making sense.

I don't think you can make yourself into a pain slut or masochist. I think you either are or you aren't.

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 3:27:40 PM

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Abusive people are very common. That does not make it good or right for you.

A key is accepting your personal responsibility for the choice you freely make to remain engaged in the process of enduring pain for his "satisfaction," which will continually escalate and never be enough. Since pain is not your primary motivation, and it is his, there seems to be a lack of fundamental connection between you two.

Remember, he is not your source of love and fulfillment. Love arises in the only place you ever feel it, your very own heart. It is neither given nor taken, but is shared. Love cannot be purchased or exchanged in a bargain of giving to get. Obviously for you, pain is not the key to unlocking your heart and sharing intimacy.

I suggest that you read this thread...
http://www.collarchat.com/m_2622728/tm.htm

(in reply to slaveToKnight)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 4:05:27 PM

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it.

We need a "Wot she said" emote!

Knowing that I caused it, the vulnerability and openness that goes with it... I'm a reaction slut! That's not just the reaction she thinks are good or pleasant. playing all the reactions deliberately like a delicious musical instrument... tears included.... oh yeeeessss!

If I haven't caused it or haven't caused it deliberately then crying has quite the opposite effect on Me.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 7:05:07 PM

Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash

I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again.

Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them.

He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act.

I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you?

I think for me I am not way up there on the pain thing but I love trying to "take it"...and a few times I have cried even sobbed with him and when I see his face and it is this blank face not worrying about my pain it somehow turns me on more and him too of course...but i can see he knows then I have reached some kind of threshold at that point when I cry..i try not to though but it is hard not too sometimes....

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 9/19/2009 7:07:14 PM >

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 9:23:29 PM

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For me, it isn't specifically the crying that does it, it's knowing that I caused it, that does it.

Bingo. You got to the heart of the matter in one short sentence. :)

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to LaTigresse)

RE: Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry? - 9/19/2009 9:50:20 PM

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash

I have wondered about this before, but another thread brought it to the forefront of my mind again.

Sometimes M hurts me so bad that I cry. I cry from the pain, I cry from trying to figure out why he wants to hurt me, and I cry just because the stupid tears start and I can't stop them.

He is such a caring person, honestly. When we get done, he always asks if I am okay and all of that and really means it. It's just as he is doing it, the crying turns him on more and he certainly doesn't make him stop the act.

I know there probably isn't some pat. answer to this, but I am curious what about it does "it" for you?

The only reason I would want her to cry would be because she needed to relase some sort of stress or if it were needed so that she could begin healing fron an unresolved painful issue

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to worthlesstrash)

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Why do you enjoy seeing him/her cry?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2024

Terms of Service

0.365