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Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 2:52:37 PM

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I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 2:57:05 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
The issue is, how far is too far?

I don't dig chasing pidgeons or fun.
I do find groovy a knife up my cunt.

the.dark.
(.hasthefeelinganotherconsenthreadisonthehorizon.)

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 3:02:38 PM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
The issue is, how far is too far?

I don't dig chasing pidgeons or fun.
I do find groovy a knife up my cunt.

the.dark.
(.hasthefeelinganotherconsenthreadisonthehorizon.)

This is Darcy

They don't call me Mack for nothin'

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 3:54:13 PM

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I draw the line when it permanently harms my life in a negative manner and/or goes against all my morals and ethics.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 4:29:41 PM

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amputation would inhibit my golf claps and turf tapping moves at equestrian events. i feel too far is subjective in some respects. what was too much years ago is now a welcome friend. in truth i guess you can't assume either. so it is best to know upfront if you're getting cozy with leatherface or not.

porcelaine

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 4:45:45 PM

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The line I draw is if it is detrimental to me, my household, or my property. I determine what is or is not detrimental. Just like I determine safe, and sane. She consented when she took my collar, and only taking those rights back by walking out the door does the consent stop, and even then it depends. My property thrives and grows since placed in my collar, and I asked her where the line is; her response "where ever my owner determines it to be."

If it requires me breaking a bone to gain obedience, would rather just show them the door, but a split lip from a backhand because of a smart mouth is rather minor. Then again I am part of that group that people call extreme, abuser, sociopath, etc.. My girl just smiles when that kind of stuff comes up.

If there is consent involved then no oen else determines where the line is.

Mack the knife is funny ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 4:48:36 PM

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I don't really have any experiences with this ever coming up but I'd say permanent damage is a pretty good starting point for defining overboard.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 4:48:55 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

amputation would inhibit my golf claps and turf tapping moves at equestrian events. i feel too far is subjective in some respects. what was too much years ago is now a welcome friend. in truth i guess you can't assume either. so it is best to know upfront if you're getting cozy with leatherface or not.

porcelaine

Not to mention being able to scratch your nose when it itches.....

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 4:52:03 PM

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If it impedes my ability to work for 8 hours the next day, then it is over the line for me.

Have to earn the living after all.

That would pretty much rule out amputations, or bone breaking.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 5:52:26 PM

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Nah, just get ya some good disability insurance ;).

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 6:02:46 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

Short answer (for me) is "yes" -- if it is mutually consensual, and as long as everyone's considered the worst possible repercussion and figured out how they'll deal with that if it happens, then to me, it is not off-limits. Then again, I'm one of those folks who really believes that we should stay out of other peoples' business unless they -invite- us in... and then make sure that we don't overstay our welcome if they do.

Dame Calla

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 6:05:21 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

If it impedes my ability to work for 8 hours the next day, then it is over the line for me.

Have to earn the living after all.

That would pretty much rule out amputations, or bone breaking.

Wow, by these standards, my own -body- has gone too far... just sayin.

DC

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***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to kiwisub12)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 6:32:13 PM

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I think that being willing to let someone murder you is a sign things have progressed into the realm of questionable sanity.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 6:45:30 PM

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Personally, I question our society's competence in being able to define concepts like 'sanity' in a useful way. But we all know what a precious fucking snowflake I am, so...

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 6:54:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

There is no real way to arrive upon an answer to this question that will satisfy all; the "line", oft like suppositions in the DSM, will be arbitrary.

Where do I personally draw the line? When I come upon it. There really is no clear metric available to get any more specific. I suppose anything that hurts young ones or includes the unwilling might be a good pole to start from, however.

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Founder, Humbled Females

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 7:22:15 PM

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread, and came across an issue that has been on my mind for some time. I'm posting here so as not to (further) hijack that thread.

The issue is, how far is too far? If an activity is consensual, does that make it okay? Where do you, personally, draw the line? Bone breaking? Amputation? Reliving past incest?

Ethics, like opinions, morals, preferences and so on are personal with no two people having precisely the same . Ergo responces here are rather like farting in the wind and has no bearing on what others believe, feel or do. At best all than con be obtained is perhaps a consensus of beliefs and practices from a limited number of people. At worst it just another fubar thread which will amuse some and others will stay away due to other things they can spend time with.

Just my personal view and not intended to insult or criticise either the OP of any other poster.

< Message edited by IronBear -- 10/6/2009 7:28:55 PM >

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http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 7:27:48 PM

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quote:

I've been trying to catch up with all the reading in the 24/7 TPE thread

A sure sign of masochism.

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it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 7:35:11 PM

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For me, if it is damaging in a permenant way...then it is too far. However, it would be hard for me to consent to bone breaking of any kind...now if it happened accidently during consensual play, that is a different circumstance. Luckily for me, Master does not believe in having me do anything that could be potential harmful.

But if two people find that they like those extremes, who am i to say not to do it? i would simply hope they have quick access to good medical treatment.

(in reply to IronBear)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 7:41:37 PM

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But then there are people who love extreme sports which many folk love to watch and few want to compete in. Just as with boxing and other martial arts, bull riding and motor racing not to mention ice hockey. Some of these I've done with not a small amount of success (not a much as I would have liked though) and others like hockey, skate and snow boarding as well as bmx stunts which i enjoy watching but I still believe that the players are bloody suicidal maniacs. Doesn't make it wrong just wrong for me.

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to bluefireeyez)

RE: Extreme BDSM & Ethics - 10/6/2009 8:24:47 PM

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Oh gracious!!!! That freaking line thing again!

As a dominant, I have limits to what I will and will not do. These are based on my moral code which I expect someone who is mine to take upon themselves. It is a matter of compatibility and should not be asking too much if we are properly matched. On the other hand, as a submissive, I don't get to draw that line except to the extent that I select my partner. I do as I expect others to do with me, take upon myself his moral code as my own. I will admit it is imperfect. I have areas in which he has chosen to acquiese to what I find acceptable, but that was of his own doing based on getting to know me. I have had areas in which I have had to come to new understandings of things and adjust my own views based on my respect for my partner and what he has been able to show me through his own life and by taking the time to instruct me in these matters.

It really doesn't matter where the line is for any given person. There is never going to be any kind of consensus among kink folk about what is in bounds or out of bounds. The community seems to have some rather unspoken standards, but they aren't universal and I bet they aren't even as standard as they appear either. Basically, too far is where he and I can no longer go together. It is an end point and one I hope I never reach.

lovingpet

(in reply to IronBear)

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